Call Him Aidan
Chapter Four:
The Company You Keep
Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of its affiliated characters. Any additional characters or situations created within this work of fiction are figments of my own imagination intended to bear no real resemblance to actual persons or their circumstances.
"The only thing that really stops us from doing what we're destined to do is a bad attitude."-Krysta
Amanda Rollins sat perched on the couch in plaid pyjamas, plush blue housecoat wrapped around her staring blankly at an episode of Forensic Files on HLN at three o'clock in the morning on what would have been a work day had she not opted to become a stay at home parent. Before their son's diagnosis, staying home had been a choice. Due to things panning out differently than the two women anticipated, and now that they had a name to put to their child's afflictions, staying home had become more of an obligation. As much as she loved her son and all the time she spent with him, there were times she missed the job. When she'd first started working as part of a team of detectives who worked for the Special Victims Unit, she'd wondered how anybody could keep from getting hard and cynical after years of seeing the same types of horrendous things. Now that her son was five and growing and changing faster than ever, (as were his needs) the job she'd once held seemed simple by comparison.
"Hey."
The voice of her wife startled her out of a trance even though it was soft and thick with sleep from just having woken up.
"Oh, hey. I'm sorry if I woke you. I tried not to turn the TV up too loud because I knew you and Aidan were still sleepin'."
"It's not too loud. You didn't wake me, my phone did. I was asked to go into work a little earlier today so set my alarm for three."
"Oh, okay. Did you check in on Aidan?"
"Yup, sleeping like a rock."
"Good."
Olivia flicked on the kitchen lights and Amanda squinted until her eyes adjusted adequately to their brightness.
"Sorry," she said apologetically. "You want coffee?"
"Please."
I have so many things to do today, the better question would be if I'd be able to function normally without it, she thought ruefully.
"Black?"
"You bet."
The older woman became focused on the task of setting out all pans and utensils she would need to make breakfast for the two of them, and smiled to herself. It had been a good while since she'd had any time to treat either of them to anything and she vowed then to attempt to make a point of waking up early even when it wasn't necessary in order to dote on her wife, creating little simple moments between them as she'd so frequently done in the beginning of their relationship.
"You want your eggs scrambled or poached?"
"Oh, you don't have to make anything for me, I'm not that hungry. I don't want to make you late."
"I set my alarm so that I would have enough time to make you breakfast and help you with anything pertaining to Aidan as well as do what I needed to do to get ready before heading out this morning. So I ask you again, scrambled or poached?"
"Scrambled. Do we have any bacon?"
"There's the Amanda we all know and love." Chuckling, she teased the eggs that had been cooking in a pan on the stove with the end of the spatula and turned to the freezer, sticking her head inside in search of a package of bacon.
"Found some. You want toast too?"
"Sure, what the hell."
"White or brown?"
"Brown."
Taking the finished pan of eggs off one of the front burners, she set it on the counter atop a pot holder before moving the bacon over to replace it. Looking in her wife's direction, she noted that she was being watched with what could only be described as adoration, a far away sort of look in the other woman's eyes.
"What?" she asked, genuinely confused as to how making eggs and bacon made her Wife of the Year.
"Nothin', I just miss havin' you around in the mornings, that's all."
"Aw, I miss being here. I'm sorry I'm not around as much as I could be." Plating both of their breakfasts and pouring two cups of coffee, she left the dirty pans to lie soaking in the sink before walking into the living room to sit next to the blonde.
"You're doing what you have to in order to make your contribution to our family, and we love you for that." She accepted the steaming plate gratefully and dug in.
"I still can't help but feel like I'm missing out on a lot. I knew once we got this diagnosis we'd both have to make a lot of sacrifices, but I don't think I understood just how hard it would be."
"Neither one of us did, love. One of us needs to work and I'm grateful to have a wife by my side that works so hard for all of us. Aidan knows how much you love him, and he's really proud of the things you do."
Though they had many times where they both pretended things were okay when they weren't and often got entirely too "in their feelings", what Amanda said rang incredibly true. Neither of them could have anticipated the things that Aidan would have to go through before he'd arrived, but no matter what happened the blonde tried to remember to be grateful for the fact that she had a partner willing to stand by her side through it all. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Most everything Olivia did, she did with her heart and Amanda considered herself lucky that she hadn't chosen a life mate for herself who would just up and leave at the first sign of struggle. Many women she knew were not in a position to be able to say that.
"I love you both. More than anything." Leaning in to peck her lips, the older woman lingered there a little longer than usual as if to drive home her point.
"We know." Standing up, she collected their dishes and took them to the sink, rinsing them and setting them in with the soaking pans Olivia had previously left.
"Should I wake Aidan?" the brunette asked, raising her voice a notch to be heard over the sounds of running water dripping from the faucet as the blonde took it upon herself to scrub out the dirty pans. "I know it takes a while for you to get him bathed and ready for school when you're on your own. If I wake him now I could help you before I have to leave."
"Thanks honey, but I have to take him to therapy today, so we won't be in as much of a time crunch. I'll finish these dishes, you shower and get ready for work."
Olivia smiled devilishly. "If I had more time I'd have you come with me," she said, winking suggestively.
"Oh, I'll bet you would, detective. I'll bet you would." The younger woman shook her head, her lilted southern twang showing itself as she spoke. "We'll have to make the time for me to take you up on that suggestion."
"Yes, yes we will, Mrs. Rollins." Though they hadn't had any form of intimate or sexual relations in what seemed like forever and had become bad at setting aside that time for one another, in their heart of hearts both of them longed to get that aspect of the relationship back to where it should have been and kept promising themselves that eventually, they would. "Let me know how Aidan's appointment goes today, yeah?"
"I will, if it doesn't run too late I'm supposed to be going over to Alex and Miles' place for dinner. I'll text you and let you know what happened and what my plans are."
"All right. We've been busting our asses to try to catch this sick motherfucker of a perp who seems to keep slipping through our fingers every time we almost have him, so I'll probably be pulling overtime again. Check in with me later and I'll let you know what's going on from my end, too."
"Sounds good. Hurry up and shower or you're gonna be late."
"Yes, boss." Laughing, Olivia made her way to the bathroom, Amanda heading in the direction of their bedroom to dress, each of them preparing to face the potentially lurking demons of the day without the other by their side.
##
"Does this mean I getta see Krysta today?" the blonde boy asked excitedly from the backseat of the car as his mother drove, keeping her gaze entirely focused on the road ahead of her.
"You do get to see Krysta today."
"Yessss! I love Krysta. She gives the best hugs ever!"
Amanda glanced at his reflection in the mirror above her head and chuckled. "I thought Mommy gave the best hugs ever?"
"She does, it goes Mommy then Krysta."
"Oh, right. What about me?"
"You hate hugs."
"Usually. But I like them from you and Mommy."
"Well, then it goes Mommy, Krysta, then you."
"Oh, I see how it is."
The mock hurt expression on her face elicited a laugh from both of them.
##
Krysta Holden had worked as a physical therapist at the Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital of New York, New York for over 15 years. Now approaching the age of forty-seven, she still loved it just as much as the day she'd started. Never having found the right person with whom to start a family of her own, the work that she did and the amount of reward she'd gained from it compensated for that. For a time, it had genuinely upset her that she had apparently been one of those people who was destined to be alone. It didn't seem fair to her with how much she loved people, how much she desperately had wanted a child, for her to be in that category. Eventually though, she'd come to accept it because she had no other choice. She taught her clients in an age appropriate way that you could either get up and fight or lie down and wallow in self pity for the rest of your life, and she wouldn't be much of an example if she didn't try to follow that herself. Once she'd accepted that she was past her prime with no man and children and love probably just weren't in the cards, she'd thrown herself wholly into her work more than ever, and been content to come home to the love of her long time fur-babies, Siamese cats Jada, Jester and Jinx.
Wolfing down a sandwich in one of the therapy rooms of the hospital she used so frequently it had come to feel like her very own, she wondered how her 1 o'clock client was doing since the last time she'd seen him.
All of her clients affected her in some way, each of them having a different story and reason for seeking her expertise. Aidan Rollins, however, had tugged at her heartstrings the first time she'd met him. Even if she'd never say so, to her he was a favourite.
He'd talked her ear off for almost an hour and a half straight that first time, and she'd been impressed at how well he'd taken instruction and completed tasks asked of him at the same time. Not much had changed since that first visit; he still talked her ear off, and she still enjoyed every minute of it.
Just as she'd pulled herself from her thoughts of Aidan long enough to finish her sandwich and tie up her loose auburn curls with an elastic from around her wrist, the co-worker she worked the closest with tapped gently on the door to tell her that her 1 o'clock was early.
"Thanks, Roxy. I can take him now."
"Yer welcome, love. I'll send 'em in."
##
"I hate these ones," he said with distaste almost halfway through the visit, laying flat on his back on an exercise mat waiting for the older woman to get down on her knees and assist him with his hamstring stretches.
"I know you do lovey, but we gotta do 'em. Has Mama been doing them with you at home?"
"Every day. Those and all the other things you've said up to this point," the blonde said politely, watching from her spot across the room on a chair that was entirely too small for even her petite frame.
"Good. Like always when we do these, you'll feel a bit of a pull, but let me know if it becomes too much for you, because we don't want it to be painful."
"Okay," the boy assured as Krysta took his right leg, positioning it at a ninety degree angle then slowly proceeding to press it up into the direction of his armpit.
"Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth and make sure you keep relaxed, remember?"
"I know." He did what she reminded him.
After several repetitions of this on both legs, with him inhaling and exhaling as instructed and seeming relatively calmed, Krysta opted to move on to the task she knew he most hated.
"We're gonna do the one where we go from a bent position straight up towards the ceiling with the strap around your foot."
"That's the one I hate the most," he said, displeasure evident.
"I know. Most people don't like that one very much. Even I don't. But if you do a few really good ones, we don't have to do that many."
"You promise?"
"Pinky swear." she promised, offering him her pinky finger to link up with his before retrieving the rubber strap they would need and proceeding to kneel down next to him on the mat once again.
"I'm gonna put the loop around your foot and then hand you the longer part of the strap. Do you remember what I told you to do with it when I guide your leg up straight?"
"Pull towards me!"
"Right." Wrapping the loophole of the green, thick rubber strap around his foot, she guided his leg into the starting position of a ninety degree angle as she had done previously, handed him the longer ends and watched him pull tight toward his chest as she used a hand to guide his leg into a straightened position going upwards toward the ceiling.
"Hold the strap like that as long as you can, okay? I'm gonna see if you can hold it til I count to five."
"Kay," he said, still holding his grip.
"One...two...three...four...five... and let go."
Letting go of the strap, he exhaled loudly.
"Can you do that a couple more times for me and then we'll do the other side?"
"Yup!"
##
"Try not to lean back into me, or forward into Mama for as long as you can okay?" Krysta told the five year old, who was now positioned in the middle of a giant purple exercise ball.
"Okay!"
"Should we count to see how long you can do it?"
"Yeah, count Mama!"
"Y'want me to count?" the blonde in front of him questioned, "'Kay, but you gotta do it with me, yeah?"
"Okay."
"One...two...three...four...five...six...seven..eight..." they counted together before he gently fell backwards into Krysta, unable to hold his posture straight any longer.
"Eight seconds. Good job, love. Longer than last time."
"Can we do the bars again?" He asked Krysta as his mother put his socks and shoes back on his feet, pointing to a set of parallel bars at the other side of the room.
She glanced quickly up at the clock on the wall. "Sure, we have a bit of time before you go. Once Mama gets your shoes tied up we'll do it."
"Yay!"
##
Positioning him loosely back in his chair, socks and shoes now on his feet, Krysta wheeled him to the end of the set of bars and put on his breaks. Guiding him into a standing position, he grabbed the silver bars on either side of him to support himself. Amanda took her usual position on the opposite end, crouching down so as to be at his level.
"C'mon, baby. Let me see if you can walk all the way to me this time."
He started off slowly, with the smallest of steps, almost as if he were afraid to fail with the two women so intently watching him. Gradually, as he looked ahead and behind him at their kind eyes and encouraging smiles, his steps became bigger, confidence increasing. It was only when he'd gotten more than halfway to the end they noticed he started to get tired.
"You can do it, you're almost there." Taking a few more steps, Amanda reached out and caught him in her grasp when he got close enough.
Krysta wheeled his chair over to the other end of the bars where Amanda was still crouched so she wouldn't have to carry him all the way back. The blonde positioned him inside it, buckling him up and turned to Krysta.
"Thank you again for another good visit. He looks forward to seeing you."
"Oh, no problem. He's a doll. He did really well today. I noticed improvements from last time. I did notice though that when he was walking down the parallel bars, his foot and leg on the left side turns inward a little. Have either of you noticed that while helping him walk at home?"
"Olivia noticed it first and brought it to my attention. He says it doesn't hurt, so I wasn't sure whether to be concerned about it or not. I was gonna mention it but it slipped my mind until you just now said something."
"Did Brett Kinsman talk to you at all about AFO's when explaining his diagnosis to you?"
"He mentioned that as he got older they may be of benefit, yes. That's about it."
"I think he would benefit from them at this point. They'd give him support and keep his feet straight. He may not like wearing them, and it may be difficult to find shoes and pants that fit over the them, but he's young enough that they may correct the turn of his left side and he may not have to wear them by the time he reaches his early to late teens. I'll call Brett in to be here at one of our next appointments. It may not be the very next one since he works out of state, but if we get approval from him that he needs them you'll need to bring him back here for his feet to be cast so they can get a mould that'll properly fit."
"All right, I will do. Give me a call about when you want me to come in."
"You bet. He's doing really well. You should be really proud of him. The only thing that really stops us from doing what we're destined to do is a bad attitude. I've seen many kids come through here that don't have the right attitude and your son is definitely not one of those. The way you think makes all the difference, so you're obviously teaching him well."
"Thanks Krysta."
As Aidan hugged the woman goodbye, Amanda left the hospital with spirits lifted by the kindness of someone she hardly knew, smile pasted on her lips.
##
"Cheyenne, don't kick the table, please. I'm not gonna tell you again."
"Oooh, Cheyenne's in trouble!"
"Layla! Keep that up and you'll be in trouble too."
"Fine!" The dark haired girl folded her arms momentarily and put her tongue, that had previously been stuck out in the direction of her sister, back into her mouth.
"I'm sorry," Alex said to the other blonde, looking at her apologetically before turning her gaze in the direction of her children who were painting at the kitchen table, Aidan watching them. "They've both been testing my limits lately."
"Hey, no problem. I'm a Mama too, I get it." She looked up from her phone and the message she'd just finished sending, smiling in understanding.
At Alex's for dinner. Aidan's therapy went well. Need to discuss something when you get home. Xo -A.
"You're okay with pizza for dinner? I've been promising the kids all week."
"Yeah, of course."
"Mommy, can we go show Aidan the horses?" Layla asked excitedly, having gotten up from her position at the table, paint splattered on her hands.
"Yes, we can. But clean up first, you can't go touching the horses with your hands like that."
After leaving behind her job as an Assistant District Attorney and marrying Miles Shaffer, they'd opted to move to a big property away from the hustle and bustle of the city, her children having become a part of the world of competitive riding.
After washing the girls' hands, the two ladies gathered them and Aidan together making their way out to the barn, Amanda parking her son's chair, picking him up and carrying him inside.
"This one's Mystique, that one's Magic and the one on the end is Maddox."
"Mystique is pretty," Aidan said, reaching out his hand and Amanda moving closer so he could pet her nose.
"I think she likes you," Alex smiled as the horse made a sound of approval upon feeling the contact.
"She's won lots of competitions," Cheyenne boasted proudly. "I'll show you my ribbons when we go back inside."
Amanda felt her phone vibrating in her pocket and looked at Alex. "Could you take him?"
"Absolutely."
She handed him over, walking out of the barn to get better reception and pulled out her phone.
"Glad to hear it went well. I'm done earlier than I thought I'd be so I can join you guys at Al's for dinner in a little bit and then we can talk about whatever it is you needed to when we go back home."
"Sounds good. I'll just make sure Alex knows so we order enough pizza."
Heading back to the barn, she stuck her phone back in her pocket as she walked. "Everything okay?" Alex questioned.
"Yeah, all good. Is it okay if Liv joins us for dinner? She's done early at work."
"Of course, you know you don't have to ask."
"Mama, I gave Maddox apple pieces!"
"You did? Did he eat them?"
"Yeah!"
The blonde looked at Alex with a raised eyebrow.
"I stuck some in my coat pocket while you helped Layla and Cheyenne wash their hands," she laughed.
"Ah," she nodded. "Thanks for letting him come out here. He loves animals."
"No problem. You know, I know someone who runs a therapeutic riding stable for people with disabilities. The horses are really well trained and super tame and gentle. If that's something you think he could benefit from doing, I could give you his number. It'd give Aidan a chance to be around horses while getting to be around other kids and feeling normal."
"That sounds amazing. I'll definitely talk it over with Olivia and at least give him a call. Thank you."
"You're very welcome. Anything I can do to help," she winked, telling the girls that they needed to go back inside and order dinner because Auntie Liv would be there soon.
Watching the girls skip energetically ahead of their mother in the direction of the house from her vantage point next to the barn having stayed back to put her son back into his wheelchair, Amanda thought about all the ups and downs that had happened since the gift they'd been given had made his appearance. No matter what his difficulties were, he was one. She wouldn't let anyone say otherwise. There would be many more obstacles, but both of the Rollins' women were seeing time and time again that life had a lot less to do with the hardships, and more to do with the company you keep.