Diet Mountain Dew (baby, New York City)

Summary: Calypso Beauregard is a miserable graduate who can't find a proper job with a desperate desire for a love life. Leo Valdez is the impish mechanic who strolls in her life during one of Calypso's shifts after a particularly nasty heartbreak. They're nothing alike, but they might be just what the other is looking for. (Coffee Shop AU)

Pairings: Calypso/Leo Valdez, Calypso & Nico di Angelo, past Calypso/Others, Leo Valdez/Khione, unrequited Leo Valdez/Others, unrequited Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, background Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, background Charles Beckendorf/Silena Beauregard

Warnings: No warnings apply. Fluff & [minor] Angst. Some swearing. Mentions of implied sexual content (but no actual scenes). Some pining. Some homosexual material (for all you phobes).

Note: This is a Caleo Coffee Shop AU (because Coffee Shop AU is basically initiation for an AU writer [especially in deancas (spn) fics!] lol). Note that on pairings Calypso & Nico di Angelo (without the slash mark) means a platonic (friendship) relationship, not romantic. Since this is an AU, not all sibling/friendship relationships will reflect the books directly. There are also some other minor background pairings not mentioned above. Self beta'd because I have 0.5 fandom friends. *crying*

My tumblr is: ensemble-of-dolphins (warning-ish: I mainly post fandom material related to the TV show Supernatural and a homosexual pairing by the name of Destiel)

Disclaimer: Well this is on a fanfiction site for a reason. The title of the story and every chapter onwards come directly from Lana Del Rey songs (specifically 'Diet Mountain Dew').

1: ready for another lie

Sobbing about her pitiful love life post-breakup seemed to become somewhat of a custom for Calypso Beauregard over the course of the past decade. Of course, getting spectacularly drunk the following hour of said breakup was set by default too. The schedule followed then hours later to where Calypso was now crouched over the toilet puking her guts out while crying simultaneously with Silena Beauregard holding her hair back for her.

Honestly, Calypso had half a mind to wonder why her sister was so understanding when her love life had never been anything but a perfect fairy tale. Meanwhile, Calypso was the sad graduate who couldn't find a job outside her friend's coffee shop that was probably offered out of pity much less find a stable love life. She was the epitome of self-pity and misery while her younger sister was the shining daughter of love.

At least that was what it seemed like to Calypso. She stumbled a little while she got up, wiping the residue on her chin with the back of her hand, her lips curling in disgust. All right, so Calypso had a crappy life sometimes, but she always regretted drinking in the morning. "I'm going to work," she mumbled, splashing cold water on her face while Silena patted her back comfortingly.

"Are you sure?" Silena asked, her face an expression of concern and worry. "Callie, it's okay if you don't feel like going today. I'm sure Iris will understand."

Of course Iris would understand; she was Calypso's best friend and almost always subject to Calypso's bad moods when a nasty breakup and a failed rebound occurred. Yes, Calypso could skip work today and dwell in her own feelings, and Iris would completely understand. The thing was that Calypso didn't want to be that person again. She didn't want to be that mopey girl bailing out on her friends just because a few men enjoyed ruining her life.

"I'm going," Calypso said. "Now get out. I need a shower."

"Well someone's determined," Silena said with a small smile upon her lips. Her expression quickly turned serious again. "Percy might be there today, you know." His name was tentative on her lips, like she thought Calypso would revert back to the state she was in last night after Percy regretfully told her that he wasn't interested and already had a girlfriend. And for God's sake, he really should have just told her in the first place right off the bat instead of stringing Calypso along for the game. A 'hey, I've got a girlfriend' wouldn't have hurt.

Silena had years of experience from reading Calypso's facial expression to guess what she was thinking. "Percy's not a bad guy. He just doesn't know how to mention things, I guess," she said. "He probably just assumed that you knew he wasn't available…"

Calypso closed her eyes and stilled her motions. Here went her sister again, defending the actions of a man she barely knew. What she didn't need was her sister inadvertently make her feel even worse about herself. It was like she got so caught up in trying to help everyone that she accidently stepped on something else instead. In this case, that thing was Calypso. "Don't you have classes at the University to get to?"

When she opened her eyes again, her sister was frowning. "Yes, but —"

"Don't make me force you to go. And can you call Iris for me and tell me that I'm coming to work?"

"Calypso," she said softly like she was attempting to calm a feral animal down from unsheathing its claws.

"Don't 'Calypso' me," she said. When Silena didn't move from her place at the door, she sighed and looked at her sibling. "Don't worry about me," she said in a softer tone that was bound to make Silena think she was okay. "Just go to school, get a good job, marry your boyfriend and let your older sister deal with whatever she's going through. I'll get over it. Percy wasn't my first." The last bit stung to say, but Silena needed to hear it for reassurance that Calypso wasn't going to hurt herself any time soon.

"All right," her younger sister said. "But if you need someone to talk to —"

"I'm fine!" she insisted, holding up the pretense of putting her hurt behind her. Of course, this was only until her sister finally let the front door of their apartment slam behind her. It was then that Calypso continue crying and aching over it for the half-hour.

When she left the apartment at three in the afternoon, she looked like a perfectly normal stranger you'd pass every day in the streets of New York City.

-CALEO-

The first thing Fleecy did was hug Calypso when she walked into Rainbow's for her shift. She had only just opened the door when she felt an unexpected weight upon her and suddenly had an armful of a short frizzy-haired girl. "Callie!" she cried. "We missed you!"

According to her regular day schedule she should have been here about two hours ago so she wasn't quite sure how Fleecy had managed to actually miss her presence in the preceding hours. Fleecy stepped back from Calypso and grinned brightly at her while she began to recount tales she had managed to gather from her hours in the coffee shop. She was only half listening to the young girl's rambles while she made her way to the counter to greet her friend, Iris di Angelo.

Iris glanced up from the latest customer to see her, a sympathetic smile already in place on her lips. Calypso grimaced, holding up her hand in a small wave. Iris's younger brother was standing awkwardly to the side, looking confused and like he didn't know what to do with his hands. Funnily enough, Nico was wearing a coffee stained white apron today. Calypso could guess that it was courtesy of Fleecy's big crush on him and her fetish for dark broody boys shoved in a honeyed environment.

When Nico saw Calypso, relief swept across his expression. He pulled off the apron without untying the back and threw it at her. When the apron was off, Nico's fluffy dark hair was sticking in all directions, and Fleecy let out a high pitched, poorly concealed noise of affection — no, giggle at Nico's state. He stared unabashedly at her for a few seconds like he didn't know what to make out of it before tossing the apron at Calypso with a half-hearted "You're a life saver" comment.

"Okay," she said, holding the apron in her hands after Nico had made his quick getaway from his sister's coffee shop. Sometimes she wondered how Nico and Iris were even related. They were completely different from personality to appearance, but she got along with them both equally well.

Iris waved her friend over to the counter, and Calypso followed obligingly while she put on the apron, tying it around her waist. Her friend's warm brown eyes were alit with enthusiasm, and she quickly begun her first words with, "I was thinking of opening a supermarket here at Rainbow's too. Like we can rent that new space and then tear down the walls and make them one big shop so then we can intrigue all those hipsters to come over. I mean those hipsters really are everywhere now, aren't they? Think of the income rise! We'll be rich!"

"I'm thinking all right; thinking of the extra rental fees," Calypso said dryly, flicking a doughnut flake off the counter. The thing about Iris was that she needed a friend like Calypso to keep her grounded and realistic. Otherwise, Iris would be trying to take messages by the use of a rainbow. She was a balloon, floating higher and higher into the atmosphere when she didn't have something to ground her. Calypso feared the moment when the balloon would pop so she held onto Iris's strings tightly with no intention of letting go.

"Don't be such a spoilsport! It's going to be amazing! I was thinking of calling it Rainbow Organic Foods & Lifestyle — R.O.F.L for short. All employees will be called ROFLcopters. Fleecy and I both agreed on that. Right, Fleecy?" The girl in question looked up with a grin a big thumbs up.

Calypso gave Iris a pointed look, but she was already feeling happier since the last few hours she spent crying over Percy. Iris and Fleecy had that effect on her; it was why she loved working at Rainbow's even though she really wanted to pursue acting. "Sometimes," she began, "I wonder why I even let you name this place."

Her friend scrunched up her nose at that thought. "Come on! Rainbow's Coffee is an indefinitely better name than Ogygia. Who comes up with a name like that? The Ancient Greeks?"

"Hey," Calypso warned jokingly. "Ogygia is my home. Stop insulting it."

That was how the first hour went by. The three of them chatted amicably whenever there was time, and neither of her friends brought up the topic of Percy Jackson, in which they thought Calypso and Percy had hit it off so well. The fact that Calypso had come to work the next day two hours late smelling like cheap perfume without the announcement of a boyfriend said enough.

During the second hour of Calypso's shift, someone slammed the door open hard enough for the chimes to clang violently against the door. She glanced up immediately to see a pretty dark-haired woman dressed in expensive designer clothes and obviously fuming by the way she was storming into the shop. Calypso shot a quick glance at her friends, wondering what the hell was going on. Maybe it was an angry customer who had time to file a complaint. Fleecy was frozen in place, staring at the woman with a mixture of awe and repulsion. It was odd for someone to render such an expression out of Fleecy, and Calypso wondered if she knew her.

Not long after her alarming entrance, she was followed by a man with curly black hair, slightly grimy clothing, and wide brown eyes. "Chloe!" he called after her, nearing tripping over his own feet to get to the snobby looking woman. "Hey, babe, wait —"

"It's Khione to you now," she snapped, jerking her arm away from him like she thought he was infected. "And don't call me babe anymore," she snarled. The expression on his face crumpled, and Calypso's thought was that only a crazy person would throw away what was obviously some form of a declaration of love.

That name sounded familiar though, and she had no idea why. Khione was exotic sounding, and it had just the right touch of superiority to it that it matched the woman well. "All right," he said. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand what's going on. I thought you liked me. I liked you."

Khione had a lovely face, but her expression was absolutely ugly when she said her next words. "You actually think it was real? I'm Khione Snow and you're just Leo Valdez. Do you really think you can compete with everyone else out there? I have beautiful men begging at me feet. To be honest, you were lucky for the time we were together."

Leo's grip was loosening, and he looked so disappointed and upset at Khione's words that Calypso was beginning to wonder if his expression mimicked hers whenever she had a bad breakup. Of course, she always appreciated it when others intervened to separate her with the cause of the heartbreak. She stepped away from the counter and towards the lovers. "This is a coffee shop, ma'am," she began calmly, "so it would be highly appreciated if you could take this outside."

She thought that Khione would start throwing a hissy fit, so she was surprised when the woman gave Calypso something close to a thankful look before she stormed out with a "He's your problem now" which was frankly quite rude.

Leo Valdez was left standing alone in the coffee shop, looking utterly lost. Activity slowly began to return to the coffee shop again, but most conversations now seemed to be focused around what had just transpired in Rainbow's. Before Calypso could approach him, Fleecy grabbed her arm and pulled her down to hiss in her ear. "Callie! Do you even know who that was?"

"Uh, no?" Calypso replied confusedly. The name had sounded familiar, but she certainly couldn't place where she had heard it before. She wasn't very in touch with pop culture today, so she would have no idea if someone famous walked into Rainbow's one day.

"That was Khione Snow! One of the most famous fashion designer in the world who specializes in the winter category! You know, the snobby woman who throws her influence and money around. And if that really is Leo Valdez, her boyfriend of four years, then we've just witnessed the breakup of the century!"

Notes: I finally finished the first chapter, finally. Since I'm a terrible updater, I'm going to have to beg you all to just bear with me. You know what helps faster updates? Constructive Criticism! Please, if you spot any OCC'ness, tell me! I've been reading a lot of Destiel fanfiction recently, so there is going to be possibly character bleed with either Castiel or Dean. If you can't leave constructive criticism, then normal reviews/comments work too. Like the above notes say, every chapter title and the story title is taken from Lana Del Rey's song 'Diet Mountain Dew' that I am now associating with Calypso more and more every time I hear it. I'm planning more Caleo AU's in the future (a possible high school or college one- definitely a mafia one after this) so I really hope I can actually finish this soon. I was actually planning on making this M-rated with smut... but then I realized I can only write guy-on-guy scenes properly. There's a possible chance I can. If you want it to happen, please tell me. If I don't get any notice on this, I'm not writing Caleo smut.

Let me know what you think of my writing style lol. If you hate it, please give reasons why so I can improve. Thanks! Also if you could point out spelling mistakes and typos that would be great.

I have a canon-verse Caleo fic under 'All the Right Reasons Were Wrong All Along' if you wanna check that out.

Writer wording choices- Nico's fluffy hair: I've always associated slightly longer black hair with the word 'fluffy' (thank you, Destiel fanfiction characterizing Castiel's hair...). If you find any evidence in the books that go against that, please tell me.

I'm also trying to sneak in all the canon references I can. AKA: Calypso's bad pop culture stuff, R.O.F.L, Ogygia, Khione dumping Leo on Calypso's island, Calypso's latest flame being Percy

Dammit, this is so similar to a Destiel fanfiction. Mechanic(!Dean) and Barista(!Cas). Oh boy.