"Gilbert?" Ludwig called from the doorway of the albino's empty house. "Are you home?"

A thud came from the kitchen and a drunken slur of words followed. "I am zhe awesome Gilbert! No one is more awesomer zhan me!"

The blonde recognised that scratchy voice and string of words. 'Gilbert's been drinking again,' he thought to himself. "I can come back later."

"Ludvig? Why are you *hiccup* here in my awesomest house?" The drunken man staggered out of the kitchen and rushed into his younger brother. "At least zhom some manners!"

The German's blue orbs grew as big as saucers. "Vhat? I-I don't understand. Vhat-"

He was interrupted by the elder brother's lips crashing into his. He shoved his tongue into the other's mouth, which caused the younger to recoil in horror and disgust. "Nein! Zhis is wrong! You're mein Bruder! Vhat vould Klara zhink of you if she heard of zhis?!"

"She could join us. I vouldn't mind..." The drunk swayed on his feet and crashed mid-sentence.

~~Cut to Mochi~~

"I am zhe awesomest!" Prussia-mochi squeals.

Berlin-mochi shakes her head. "Nein."

~~Back to Story~~

A flustered Ludwig stuck the disheveled and still wet Gilbert into bed. The Prussian tried to make out with the German halfway through the shower, but was quickly hit with the back of Ludwig's hand. That being said, it was hard trying to wash an unconscious Gilbert in the small shower cabinet, so Gilbert was stuck into bed completely naked and soaked.

"Good night."

He left the room and set out on cleaning up the mess in the kitchen that was surely there.

(Meanwhile, at the Beilschmidt-Vargas residence...)

"Nononononononono! Nooooo! I lost again!" Feliciano cried as Klara threw her controller in the air.

"Ja! Deutschland 2, Italy 1! Eat zhat, Vargas! Hahaha! I vin again, I vin again!" The German girl broke out into her crazy happy dance.

The Italian tried to come up with an excuse, but just sighed and admited defeat. "Ve~. You did-a good, Klara, here's your money."

"I'll take zhat," she said triumphantly. A loud blasting of "One More Time" by Daft Punk came from her phone. "Hallo, zhis is Klara," she replied into the mobile. "Ja. Ja, und? Vhat? I zhought he vas -censored-ing zhat Austrian. He never did? Tell him zhat he should. I'll even record it from a vindow for him to see. Ja, but you have zhat porn stash in your closet. Ja, Feliciano knows. Nein, I haven't looked. Okay, auf Wiedersen."

The Italian grinned and looked up from his place on the floor. "Ve~. Was that Luddy?"

"Ja."

"Why did you lie about not looking?"

"Because zhen I vould be in trouble, und Feli, you DON'T vant his punishments. Not even zhe people vith zhe veirdest kinks vould."

"Ve~. Why do you put up with him?"

"Because I've only been caught twice, und zhen I vas sloppy at hiding ztuff."

"Oh."

~~End.~~

"Oi, oi, bruder, give me a kiss!"

"Nein, nein, Gilbert, nein, nein, Gilbert! Vhat vould Klara zhink if she heard of zhat?!"

"*groan* Really, again? Fine, I'll sing, but you von't tell anyone. *clears throat* Spill a glass, zhat's Gilbert, read a book, zhat's Ludvig, break a table und zhat's mine, I am Klara B."

"Ah, I am awesome!"

"Nein, he's not, don't listen."

"My bruders und I are different."

"*hiccup* Beildchmidt!"

"All right, who gave Gilbert zhe beer?"

"It vasn't me."

"I am zhe awesomest! Part of vhy I am so awesome is because I drink beer! Kesesesesesese~!"

"*sigh* I'm going."

"Bye."