Part 5

And here it was, over ten years since Julia had last seen Ben and her heart and her body had responded to him just as it had the first time so many years ago. Although it had not been too easy, Julia had finally won him to her bed again and, she hoped, won his heart back as well. But Ben was dressing to leave, was going to go and leave her again and she didn't know how she could bear it a second time.

Earlier that evening, Julia had been walking about her gambling parlor, not as grand as D'Arcy's gambling salon, but she had become an independent business woman and was catching up with D'Arcy in patronage. Just the month before, she had needed to move to a larger place and now she was established just one block south of La Palais de Chance; the southern side was closer to the docks and that made it less prestigious but Julia didn't worry. Soon, she was sure, she would be able to move north, even perhaps to own D'Arcy's Palais but for now, she was content.

Marius Angeville had entered her salon with another man and Julia had just glanced at them and then she caught her breath-Ben Cartwright was the other man. She had heard that he was in New Orleans and had hoped to see him but now he was really there-flesh and blood.

Ben had considered long and hard if he should visit the now-notorious Julia Bulette's gambling establishment. After Ben and Marius Angeville's light dinner at his home and while they were relaxing over a snifter of brandy, Ben asked Marius if he knew of a woman named Julia Bulette. Marius had sat back, surprised. "Yes," he said, "I know Julia. She used to work for D'Arcy-quite the beauty. I used to play faro at her table. Men never won that much but just being able to look at that angelic face was worth the money. One time I offered her an extra coin for a kiss and to be honest, I would have paid far more to press my lips against hers. And Julia, well, she was quite the darling-always kind to me. I heard that she opened her own place -now where is it? Julia moved her gambling salon recently-I have heard but my memory, it isn't so good anymore although the bad things, those I remember. I assume that you know Julia, or knew her."

Ben flushed. "Yes. I knew her once…years ago when my ship used to drop anchor in New Orleans but I haven't seen her, in, oh-must be twelve years now. I was just wondering how she was. I used to be quite fond of her."

Marius smiled. "No, Ben. I was 'fond' of her. You, as the young man you are and were, had to have been much more than just 'fond'."

Ben couldn't meet Marius' eyes. "That's true. I cared for her a great deal and I'm afraid, well, I'm sure that I was…cruel. I've learned so much in the interim, learned how to forgive others, how not to hold everyone to the New England standards of behavior for women with which I was raised and I've learned how to…how to really love."

"Well," Marius said, rising from his over-soft chair and straightening his spine, his hands placed on his lower back, "My driver will know where Julia's Palace is. Let's dress and go out for the evening. Just be ready to lose some money." And Marius winked at Ben who smiled back.

Together, the two men walked into Julia's Palace and Ben, his heart pounding, scanned the room until he saw Julia. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, the years only having made her lovelier and she had a certain maturity, a certain confidence she exuded as she wandered from table to table, laughing with the patrons or taking aside a dealer or croupier to reprimand him or to give him advice on certain patrons at the table. Julia often pulled a dealer aside to let them in on a secret about the person with whom they were playing. Julia had earned the reputation of being business-savvy and also cold-hearted. No one could get the better of Julia Bulette; many had tried and lost more than just money; she was a dangerous adversary.

So Ben's and Julia's eyes met and neither dropped their gaze. Julia felt as if she had the wind knocked out of her but she had learned long ago not to physically react no matter what emotion she was feeling. So for a slight second, her face may have shown shock or sadness but no one could have noticed, it was so fleeting.

Julia sauntered over to the two men who both took off their hats. "Good, evening, Marius," Julia said, kissing him on the cheek. "Hello, Ben. You look well." Julia stood, a small smile on her face.

"Well," Marius said, looking back and forth at the two people who seemed unaware he was even there, "I do believe that I have some money to lose." And he left them.

"Julia, you look beautiful," Ben said.

"Thank you, Ben. You look well yourself." She reached out and ruffled his curls around his ears. "Your hair's greyer but other than that, you look as handsome as always." Julia had heard from D'Arcy that a man by the name of Ben Cartwright had come to New Orleans to sell his furs and to comfort D'Arcy's poor, innocent cousin, his darling Marie, with her husband's last words. And they both had laughed but Julia felt empty and D'Arcy had commented on the flush of her cheeks at the news. Julia put it down to the bourbon-she so rarely drank. And then Julia offered some gossip to D'Arcy before she brought it back around to Marie; she wanted to learn how long this man, this Ben Cartwright was staying and where. After all, it was she, Julia, who had provided the man to play the "prank" on the DeMarignys-had a man slip into Marie's bed so that when her husband arrived home he would see his beloved wife in bed with another man and so she felt she had a right to know what Jean's last words to his wife were. When D'Arcy said that it was that he forgave her for her indiscretion, they laughed again. Julia had kept the pretense of a friendship with D'Arcy; it was beneficial to her. He was privy to all the secrets of the wealthy and both he and she had managed to reap rewards from men who had been caught in romantic indiscretions and gladly paid to have it kept a secret.

"Julia," Ben had asked quietly, "May I talk with you?"

"Of course, Ben, but not now-I have a business to run. If you'd like to stay and spend some money until closing, that's fine. I'll be able to talk to you then. Go join Marius. I'll have a complimentary bottle of my best champagne brought to the table."

"All right, Julia. I'll stay until then, but I have to confess, I've never been one for gambling."

"Yes, I know," Julia said before she turned away. "You like the sure thing, don't you? You're not willing to take a chance on anything."

Ben stood, his mouth slightly open; he knew what Julia meant.

At closing time, Julia looked around and Ben was gone. She smiled to herself, chastising herself for her naivety. Telling the bartender good night and to lock up, Julia walked out into the darkness and there, waiting for her was Ben Cartwright. She stopped and then, composing herself, walked over to him.

"Well, Ben, what a surprise. I thought you had left with Marius."

"No, Julia, I came to walk you home."

"Walk me home?" Julia laughed. "I have my own driver waiting-right there." She raised one elegant arm, a diamond bracelet glittering in the moonlight, and gestured to a small, waiting carriage. "Would you care for a ride home?" She pulled her cape closer around her. The evenings were beginning to become chilly and the suffocating humidity was receding.

"I thought we could talk," Ben said.

"Of course," Julia said as the driver climbed down to help her in. "We can talk in the carriage."

And Ben agreed but they ended up in Julia's lush apartments, and their passion for each other was renewed with an initial kiss. And now Ben was leaving her again, going off to his other life and Julia didn't think she could bear it, especially since he may very well be going to Marie DeMarigny.

"And I suppose that you think that Marie is beautiful," Julia said, rising from the bed and putting on her wrap.

"Yes. I do," Ben said. "I'm not blind, Julia."

"And I suppose you also think that she is pure and good. I suppose you don't know about how her husband found her in their bed with another man, rolling around and enjoying each other."

"I'm just here to deliver a message to her from her husband, a brave man who saved my life." Ben stood looking at Julia and he felt guilty. He had given in to his passions, to his lust but this was not the Julia he had known and he supposed that he was not the Ben that she knew. But how could they be the same? And he sensed déjà vu, the feeling that he and she had played out this very scene before.

"Is that all?" Julia asked. "You're just an errand boy, delivering a message that could have been put in a mailed note? "

"I promised Jean DeMarigny that I would tell his wife and his mother in person of his death. I swore to it as it was his last request." Ben looked down at his hat that he held in his hand. Then he looked back at Julia, her brown hair falling about her shoulders. "I've learned much, Julia, but obviously not enough. I never learned how to resist you. I was cruel to you, Julia, all those years ago. I was selfish and cruel and for that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here tonight, should never have looked for you-but I had hoped that we could be reconciled-as old friends. I'm sorry, Julia." Ben turned to leave, to pass into the outer room of her apartment that was filled with elaborate furniture-expensive antiques.

Julia gave a bizarre laugh and Ben turned back and looked at her quizzically. "Oh, Ben-you are still foolish. Do you think I care? Do you think that after all these years, I still love you? You haven't changed, Ben-you're still a fool."

Ben looked at her, not knowing what to make of her comment but turned and continued on his way out, Julia following.

"Let me tell you something, Ben," Julia said, standing her ground, "I never forget an insult done to me. Never. And I always even the score, no matter how long it takes, I always do. You had best start looking behind you, Ben. You hurt me, destroyed that young Julia Bulette that I was many years ago and she demands revenge. And I will see that she is avenged. Always look behind you, Ben. Be ever vigilant."

Ben stared at her and he felt a chill run down his spine. He opened the door and a man was just about to take a hold of the knob on the other side. Ben and the man, a big man, stared at each other.

"Excuse me," Ben said. He turned one last time to look at Julia-she was so very beautiful, he thought, and then he put on his hat and left.

The man came in and threw his hat on a Louis XIV brocade chair, and in a French accent, he said, "Don't tell me that you have gone back to whoring, Julia, ma petite chou." he walked over to the bottle of wine Julia had opened for her and Ben and poured himself a glass. He sat on another chair and sipped the wine.

Julia looked at him. John Millain had become a bother to her but when he was gone, in some perverse way she couldn't understand, she missed him. Maybe because he understood her so well and he had never abandoned her. Julia knew that he would be with her always; they were inextricably bound to one another by basically being the opposite genders of the same type of person—both far from admirable and both never doing anything that would not benefit them. "And don't tell me that you have gone back to drinking too much, John?"

Millain laughed. "Why Julia, I had never left it" And they both laughed but Julia's laugh was without humor because she was laughing at herself.

~ Finis ~