The snow melts completely in a week and that means it's time for the first Harvest Festival. Which also means Peeta's busier than before. He wakes up with the sun and goes home with the sun. The first few days were manageable, but along the way, I start missing him so much I can't function properly. I tell him this and he laughs. He tells me I can go visit him after my hunt, I can help him prepare, and then we'll go home together.
Gale still hasn't talked to me and whenever I realize that, I feel like curling up and hiding in my closet at home. It's all so confusing. Before they arrived I was certain I never wanted to interact with him for the rest of our lives. Then here they come and now I can't find peace because he's doing the exact thing I wanted him to do. So one night, again, I confide in Peeta.
After telling him how I feel, he turns away.
"Maybe you want him back. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe you're confused because you think you love me but in reality, you actually love him?"
"Peeta, no… It's not like that. You heard our conversation that first morning, right? I don't love him the way I do, you."
He tenses at this, then turns back to me. "You're sure about that?"
"Yes. I'm more than sure. It's a different kind of love I feel for him."
He mulls this over then tells me, "Maybe it's closure you want. Or if not, you just want him back, as your best friend."
Peeta has summed up everything that has been bugging me in two sentences.
"Maybe," I say, ending our conversation. With that, we drift off to sleep.
When I wake up, I can vaguely remember a nightmare from the night before. Glimpses of explosions and fire and metal flash before my eyes.
"Hey," a voice above my head whispers. I look up to see a pair of sleepy bright blue eyes staring down at me.
"Hey," I answer.
"You were trembling, so I…"
"Oh, I just—I think I had a nightmare but it wasn't very clear."
"Two nights in a row, huh? Anxiety that bad?" he asks.
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "You think this is about," Gale, I almost say. "…them?"
Peeta answers a bit defensively, "Well, you stopped having them, then when you got the letter, you almost broke up with me. The letter said they would be visiting some time soon, the following nights you had nightmares."
"Fine," I grumble. I hate to admit it but he's kind of right. It rings the truth.
"Katniss, you know it wasn't my intention to ruin our morning."
"I know, I know. I just didn't want to admit that what you said was true."
"The festival is in a few days," he informs me after a while. "The deliveries are scheduled to arrive today. If you want to help, just come down the bakery. I'll be there."
"Okay," I say as I get up. As part of our morning ritual, I pull him up with me so together, we can prepare for our day. I'm lucky Peeta's a morning person too because of his family's bakery. In the bathroom, we brush our teeth, oftentimes making silly faces in the mirror while doing so. I remember one time when he pulled a face it looked like he was in pain and I was so nervous I spit out the froth. He laughed so hard at what happened, his eyes started watering.
As I wait for him to finish showering—yes, we still shower apart because we haven't quite reached that stage of a relationship yet, although I wish that soon we would so we can save time, and partly because it's so… intimate, and I want to share that with Peeta—I lounge on the bed with my clothes on my stomach. He comes out with an undershirt and just a towel around his waist, I go into the bathroom and bathe.
When I finish, he's already downstairs, busy making us our morning drinks. Hot chocolate for him, tea for me. He jumps, whimpering in the process, when I hug him from behind then we laugh together.
Hand in hand, we walk towards town, to his bakery. I kiss him goodbye before heading to the meadow. After that kiss, I suddenly don't want to hunt anymore. What good is it, if we still have some leftover meat from three nights before?
I enter through the back door of the bakery and find him setting up for the long day ahead. When he spots me, he smiles and gestures for me to come close. I do, and that's basically how we spend our day—working close to each other.
We continue this until the day of the festival, where we head off from the bakery to the town square with layers upon layers of baked goods in our arms, Josiah and Chris following close. Stalls are everywhere: for clothes, herbs, tools, metal scraps and many more. Even Greasy Sae has set up one. This reminds me of our old black market. The thought weakens me, but in the corner of my eye, a flash of bright yellow catches my attention. It isn't the real thing, just an illustration, but the flower just the same. A picture, or rather, a very detailed illustration of a dandelion in the middle of a green field hangs above the Smith's stall, they now own the flower shop.
"You like that?" Peeta asks, sending my nostalgic thoughts to the back of my mind.
"Yeah, it's beautiful." I answer. He smiles ever so shyly, then the pieces connect. "You painted that?"
"They asked me to paint a flower, first thing that came on my mind was a dandelion."
He starts walking again, so I follow. We ready the stall for customers and when we've done everything that should be done, we rest.
"Did you know that you're kind of like my dandelion?"
"Hmm? Your dandelion?"
"Yeah, um, you remember about the bread, right? From when we were 12?"
He nods.
"Well, I wanted to thank you the next day at school but I couldn't muster up enough courage, especially seeing you with that bruise on your cheek. And when I looked down, I saw the first dandelion of the spring. It reminded me of the woods, then I knew how I was going to feed my family."
He doesn't reply but a smile has found its way on his lips, and for me, that's enough. "If it weren't for you, we would have died of hunger years ago."
"I'm glad you didn't, Katniss."
By 3 in the afternoon, I feel exhausted from all the lifting and interacting with the customers. I tell Peeta I'd be heading home to rest properly, and if afterwards I still have time, I'd go back. He agrees as expected, then sends me off with a loaf of cinnamon bread.
The walk home is uneventful, which is suiting given my exhaustion from the work we did. Buttercup tags along with me at some point. I tear off a chunk of bread and throw it to him, He leaves me after that. Damned cat, I knew he was only hungry.
After I've rested and cleaned up, the sun's only beginning to come down. The first day of the festival might be over, but I figured we could still walk home together after fixing things up for tomorrow.
This routine also continues until the last day of the festival. But before that though, Peeta comes home early. I'm braiding my hair when he arrives. I turn to greet him, and my knees almost buckle from what I see.
"What happened?!" I shout. A bruise has found its place underneath Peeta's eye.
"It's not what it looks like," he replies. "It's… Gale."
"Gale did this to you?! How dare he?! It's not like he's—"
"Katniss, let me explain first, okay? Well, yes, Gale punched me but we're on good terms."
"What? I don't think I can follow."
"Okay, this is going to be hard to understand," he starts. "Gale came up to me earlier, then he straight up punched me. I almost fought back but I thought of something. He promised me he'll do that, so I let him go without a fight."
"What did you make him promise? Why didn't you kicked his ass?! God, Peeta!"
"I told him to stop ignoring you and start being the best friend you need."
That definitely shut me up. At a loss for words, I close the distance between us and stand in front of him. "Why would you do that?"
"Because you told me you wanted your best friend back, remember? I saw the opportunity so I took it, Katniss. I'm done waiting."
I sigh, "What's done is done. Come on, let's fix you up."
On the last day of the Harvest Festival, everybody's in a, well, festive mood. The prices of the goods are lowered so people can buy more, and so less would be wasted. I went home at 3, rested and showered, as I did the days before.
From a distance, the stalls look like a town within a town. Banners and streamers line the street leading up the square. Walking closer, I spot Peeta leaning against the refreshments table, with a blonde girl pressed against him. I stop abruptly in my tracks and watch as he playfully touches the girl's nose.
Then he smiles at her.
The next moment his lips are on hers and I'm running back to my house.
I hear him call my name, but I don't stop running. He's drunk, I know he is.
My legs already feel tired as I pass by the former Seam-Town border but I push myself since I know that if I stop, he'll be right behind me. A pair of arms snatch me from behind and they don't feel familiar.
Wait.
They do.
But I haven't felt them in a long while.
"Katniss," Gale says between gritted teeth. "Listen to him. I saw everything, listen to him. If he lies, I'll beat him up for you."
"Why are you even defending him?!" I yell.
"Because I made a promise, Katniss. Now please, listen." He loosens his grip on my arms but keeps them on their spots. I turn around to see Peeta trying to catch his breath.
"Katniss, it's—"
"Peeta, just tell her what happened, I already took care of that part."
"Okay," he breathes. "Gale and I were hanging out, and of course, since it's a time to celebrate, we drank. I admit I drank a bit too much, which should explain why I'm all slurry and stuff. Then Grace approached me. She said, 'you're drunk, Peeta.' Then I said, 'You're too close,' and lightly tapped her nose to distance myself a bit. Then she said, 'but you like it.' Which wasn't true so I smiled at her apologetically and tried to get away but since my body isn't quite that responsive, she was able to pull me down for a kiss. I broke away immediately, only it took a few more seconds because, again, I'm drunk. Then I saw you running so I ran after you and that's why we're here and I'm explaining this to you."
I look for confirmation from Gale and he nods. "That's what happened."
Looking back at Peeta, I see his fear instead of him. "I'm sorry," he says.
"Peeta can't control anybody else's actions, Katniss. Just his, and sometimes he can't even control that." Gale follows up. "He didn't do it. He didn't kiss her, Grace kissed him."
I consider both of their statements and make up my mind. "Okay," I whisper, feeling a bit guilty because of what Gale said. He was implying that what I did to him before is unforgivable, because I chose to do that. It's also part of the reason why I am forgiving Peeta—even though he did nothing wrong, but I'm stubborn that way—because he forgave me. So I'll do the same to him.
I hug Gale and thank him. He says goodnight, then I walk up to Peeta. He takes me by surprise when he kneels in front of me. He takes it further by bowing his head. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "Forgive me, please."
I gently touch his shoulder, guiding him back to a standing position. I hug him, too. "I think I should be the one asking you that, given that I wasn't willing to listen first before concluding."
"That's alright. I'm kind of used to that," he says. I pull away with a scowl on my face. "I'm kidding, Katniss."
"I'm serious."
"I'm sorry."
"Well, that's in the past. We got over it, come on. Let's go home, you drunkard. Wait 'til Haymitch hears about this."