A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT! It makes my heart swell in happiness when you guys tell me you love the story or you look forward to reading more chapters. So I'm going to listen to you guys and go on for a bit. Again, thank you!
As promised, we do grow back together. This time, though, I'm not scared. Not like our first try when we were cautious on everything, not wanting to upset the other for fear of being left behind. This time around, we don't care. Both Peeta and I know nobody else is going to be for us but each other. It's only tonight that I realize that although I lost so many people, I was given a person who is worth more than all of them combined. Maybe I'm being biased but whenever I compare him to them, I know he's worth it.
As morbid this may sound, but I'm grateful for what happened to Prim. I'm grateful she was reaped, I volunteered, I acted in love to survive, and I fell in love, led a rebellion, and lost her. I'm so grateful because if she weren't reaped, she would have had to grow in a world that will be too cruel for her gentle soul. If I didn't volunteer, the rebellion might never have been given a spark. I'm happy she's in a safer place now, even when she's not with me.
Acceptance works wonders when it comes to a person's mindset. Once you're content with what you have, you'll stop searching and you'll start enjoying. You're happy with what you have, why look for something better when you have the best?
Lounging around is now a part of our daily routine, be it morning, afternoon or evening. We figured we don't actually need to work since we're still receiving our pension of some sort from surviving the Games. It's an upside of loving someone—you can be happy by just being with them. Not much effort needed.
Today we lay on the grass on our back porch. Clouds are thick today, though the air is humid. Peeta's rubbing circles on my hand as we're splayed across the lawn.
"I forget we've killed people," he says. "On days like this, I feel like I'm just another teenager with a beautiful and loving woman who has promised to stay by my side for the rest of my life."
"How do you know I won't leave you?" I tease, turning my head to him.. "You haven't asked the question yet. I might run off with Chris. He's hot."
"I forget that you don't know much about him, too." He laughs softly. "He's gay."
"What? Really?" I almost sit up in shock. I should have seen it coming, he was too caring of his body.
"Yeah, he's with Josiah. I saw them just two weeks ago, they were doing couply things at the back of the bakery. I didn't disturb them of course, that would have been rude."
"That sucks, they're both hot. I guess I'm stuck with you, then." I huff exaggeratedly. "But I'm happy for them."
"Actually, Katniss," he starts. "Are you free next week? Tuesday?"
"I'm always free, Peeta. I don't have a job."
"So you are?" He asks excitedly. He reminds me of a puppy when he's excited. He's just so jumpy and smile-y and giggly. I don't know. Probably that blond head completes the look, too.
"Yep," I say."Why? Something in mind?"
"Yeah," he smiles. "Wanna go get something? I'm hungry."
My stomach rumbles in response.
Hours later, I ask him out for a walk around town to visit the shops, to say hello to some familiar faces. We visit Sae, who treats us a bowl of stew. We still pay her, Peeta insisted. We get some stuff from the small market near the old mines, a bar of soap and some rags. We head to the sweet shop afterwards, Peeta buying me a pack of chocolate covered raisins. We skip entering the clothes shop since we have enough clothes from the interviews and the Victory Tour to last us a lifetime, though we pick up a new blanket for our bedroom. We pay a visit to the rebuilding of the district hospital—actually, just building, considering we didn't have a hospital before. The townspeople agreed on having one instead of apothecaries and healers.
We visit the bakery last, just before closing time. There are only four people inside, excluding us. Josiah and Chris being the two, the other two a mother and her child. The little boy turns his head when he hears the bell above the door clink. "Oh, hey Mr. M!" he shouts.
"Hello, Jacob. Mrs. Adams," Peeta nods at the woman. I don't recognize her, someone from another district probably. Peeta takes a cookie from the rack and hands it to the boy, Jacob. Jacob takes a look at me, then says, "Who is she? Is she your girlfriend?"
"I—we, um, yeah. Her name's Katniss." Peeta stutters. I don't blame him, I don't really call him my boyfriend.
"You hesitated," Jacob says. Mrs. Adams chastises him but I tell her it's okay. She leaves the kid with us to pay at the counter. Peeta looks at me warily. I have my eyebrows raised but I'm smiling.
"It's just complicated, Jacob," Peeta says to the tiny blob of pale skin topped with a mop of light brown curls.
"You guys are weird," he says. "We don't see you together for months then the other day I saw you kissing."
My jaw falls to the floor. I feel my cheeks go red.
"That's—that's wha—"
"Things change, Jacob," I interject. "People always change. Someday you'll understand."
Mrs. Adams comes back from the counter and takes Jacob by the hand, thanking us for keeping watch over him. We say goodbye to them. Before they get out of the door, Jacob turns and says again, "You guys are so weird."
We close up the bakery, making the usual process faster. Chris and Josiah aren't touchy and I sense their discomfort. "It's okay, I know," I tell them, giving them a knowing smile.
Love is weird, but it's wonderful.
We walk back home together, hand in hand. The shops we visited are closing up, too. They wave at us, so we wave back. "Jacob's cute, don't you think?" he asks me.
"Yeah, he's adorable." Looking over at Peeta, I see a smile on his face and a strange glint in his eyes. In an instant, I know where this might lead. My heart starts pounding from nervousness, he might ask of me things I don't want to give him. I hate it. I hate feeling inadequate.
He doesn't say anything else though.
I breathe a sigh of relief. Peeta must want kids, I saw it in his eyes. He'll want little Peeta's and Katniss's and amalgamations of us running around the house. He'll be the perfect father, kind, loving, gentle, patient, and funny, and other things. Being a mother has never ever crossed my mind.
I gnaw on my lip in uncertainty. I want him to be happy, I want us to be happy. But if I can't give him what he wants, maybe I can let him go?
"Peeta…"
He looks at me and waits for me to continue.
"Look, if… if I can't be—if I can't give you what you want, I think I can let you go. Go find someone else, mayb—"
"Oh, no, Katniss, I'm not leaving you for anyone. It's just you. If I can't have them with you, it's fine. At least I have you. I'm happy."
I decide to ignore him using the term them instead of it.
Gale's reply to my letter comes the next week, before Tuesday—the day of Peeta's big surprise. Or so it seems.
We've written to each other for a couple of times ever since he went back to District Two. I didn't tell him about my fight with Peeta, putting some light on the possibility of him traveling here again to beat Peeta up, just as he promised in the past.. Peeta and I read it during our rest time, our mugs in our hands. Gale's letter just tells us they'd be receiving some new refugees from the more damaged districts. This week they're busy preparing the bunkers. He asks about me, and about Peeta, too. He sends his regards.
Annie has written back, too. A picture of Finn playing with Chuck is enclosed. He's nearly a kid, now. She tells us that my mom has been promoted finally, and they threw a small party last week. She says that he forgets about his husband at times. She forgets he's gone forever. Some days she just sits on their porch and stares at the see, wondering when he'll come back. On those days, Finn takes care of her, she says. Even at a young age, he knows comfort. My mom has taught him well, Annie says.
I don't write responses right away, considering there isn't much to tell them yet. Maybe tomorrow there will be. Suddenly I'm filled with excitement. I bring tomorrow up at dinner and he just tells me it's a surprise. We continue working on the half-filled memory book, a page for Wiress, before heading up to sleep.
I said yes.
Of course I'm going to say yes.
It wasn't something I expected. I thought he'd bring me to the woods, or to the bakery, probably bake me a cake, or paint me a picture.
It wasn't any of that though, it was even better.
Instead, we took a train—a private train—and it took us to a small strip of beach minutes away from the station. There, a table's set up in the middle of a dock extending a short distance to the sea. We had dinner with the moon and the stars illuminating the dark sky above us. After eating, we walked down the sand without our shoes. I think it's my first time to feel them in between my toes. Then, he took my hand, went down on his good knee, and asked.
We almost lose the ring to the sea.
As an answer, me acting solely on impulse, I kissed him, and because of the situation we were in, it wasn't very chaste. I'm not going to spill all the details but I can tell you one thing, Peeta Mellark knows how to kiss.
We almost do it—again—on that dock. Peeta pulled away though, but with good reason. "The ring," he said. "I haven't put it on you."
"Oh," I breathe. More like pant actually. "Where is it?"
"I… I don't know. You literally pushed me down!"
"I did not!" I exclaimed defensively.
"Look at us!" he joked, gesturing to our tangled limbs. I was straddling him… oh my God. He had his hands placed behind him to support both of our weights. I pulled him up and together we tried to look for the ring. My ring.
We find it on the edge of the dock, still in its velvet box. Peeta slipped the silver band on my finger, and I felt like flying. I knew we were going to marry one another at some point, I even suggested doing it for the cameras, but I can't help it. I feel like a lovesick school girl. The only difference is that I'm not imagining this. I'm really am going to marry this man in front of me.
The ring he gave me is so simple but it's so… beautiful. It's too beautiful to describe. A medium-sized gem sits in the middle of the band. The ring is made to look like tree branches woven together. I can't stop looking at it and fiddling with it on the train back home.
"Like it?" Peeta asks, noticing my actions. My eyes land on his right hand and I see that he's worn his, too. I take his hand and look at his ring, one like mine but the gems are inlaid between the interlocking branches, giving it a more masculine look.
"They're perfect, Peeta."
"You're perfect," he whispers.
It's funny how there was a point in my life when I would have attacked anybody who dared say that to me. I was so closed off, restricted from other people. I had no crushes, not even on Gale, when he was branded the hottest guy in our school. They say that it's because of his mysterious façade.
All it took was three years. And probably, two Hunger Games, a rebellion, and this man beside me, the only person who was able to destroy the walls I've built around myself. My fiancé…
God, he's my fiancé.
This makes me gulp. I really need to stop being so surprised at everything new in my life. I need to keep reminding myself that the world we're living in and the lives we're actually living are not the way they used to before. We've progressed, and with this change in our lives, new things are definitely going to come our way.
A/N: Thank you guys again so much!