A/N: This is it, the last full chapter of Always. I'm so thankful for everyone who gave this a chance and read it from start to finish. Thank you so much! I'm sorry if it got boring at some points, that's just how it is with some stories, I think. I'll try to fit in the epilogue of some sort the other things you want to read, just tell me! Again, thank you so much for the support.
The day comes, and I'm greeted by the sound of Effie shrieking in frustration because we're not up yet. For the damned preparations. She shouts from the living room that if I don't get up in five minutes she's going to kill herself.
I humor her.
My prep team is already downstairs, waiting for me. I see that my mom is there, too. Annie and Finn are playing with Chuck, the infamous rottweiler Johanna's there, too, sitting cross-legged by the fireplace, thumbing through a book. Funny, who would have thought Johanna Mason read books to pass the time?
As soon as they see us, Peeta and me, Peeta gets rushed out of our house and into his old one, his prep team muttering things about how it'll bring bad luck if the groom sees his bride before the wedding. From my view here, I can see all the brightly colored flowers decorating our lawn outside. They've been brought in yesterday afternoon.
They start with bathing me and asking me to brush my teeth. Then they tell me that they'll cover up my scars. At the last second I stop them, "Leave them be," I say. Let everybody see them. Let them see how much I've been through, and yet I'm here. I haven't given up.
They speak to each other without really saying something. Years of working with each other must have taught them to communicate like that. Just like Gale and I did.
Gale. I didn't see him before they locked me in this bathroom. Wait, maybe I did. I try to picture the scene in my head. Yes, he was there. Only, he was talking to a brown-haired girl I'm not sure I've seen before. The letter he sent me comes to my mind, and things make sense. Maybe that was the girl he was talking about. The medic girl from the other district.I don't realize how long I've been lost in my thoughts until Octavia tells me to close my eyes and lift up my arms for the dress. I feel myself slip into it, and
it feels light. It's not like those gowns that I had to try on for the scripted wedding. They zip up the back and arrange my hair, spreading it over my back and shoulders. They lead me outside, in front of our mirror. I don't see it, but I know they take me there.
"Open your eyes, dear." So I do.
I almost don't recognize the woman standing before me, because she looks so happy, so content with her life. For someone who has lost so much, this girl in the mirror looks too happy. I feel guilty for looking that way, but it dissipates when I hear my mom speak.
"You look beautiful, Katniss. Just like you always were."
"Thank you," I say, instead of being angry at her for calling me that. Because I am beautiful, right now. In the past, I never saw myself as someone who looks nice. I wasn't even a nice person back then. But now, I do. I look beautiful, because of my prep team, and the dress from Cinna and Peeta himself. Anybody can be made up and still look miserable if he or she is not happy. Peeta makes me happy.
It starts almost half an hour after they finish making me up. My mom hugs me before we go out, and we almost cry in each other's arms. We both never imagined we'd get to this point, where Katniss Everdeen, her daughter, would be standing in front of her mother before her wedding to a man she really loves, and loves her back.
She leads me out the house, the short train of the gown trailing behind me. I think the crowd gasps when they see me. Haymitch takes my arm. He cleans up nicely, I can see that he was a handsome man before the Games broke him.
"You're sober," I point out jokingly.
"Sweetheart, would you rather have me walking you down the aisle drunk?"
"I'm kidding, Haymitch. You look nice."
"You should see your husband," he says.
"We're not married yet, but we're about to be."
"If you're going to ask me, you're more married now than most of the already married couples in Panem. I'm pretty sure they envy what you two have."
"Envy? Why would they?"
"What you have is rare," he whispers, his voice sounding solemn. "It's beautiful. Now come on, we don't want to keep your man waiting."
The music starts, played by musicians from Twelve—from home. Together we walk, arm in arm, Haymitch filling in for my father. A mockingjay sings, followed by two, three, four more mockingjays, and I know that he's here, too.
Effie has put primroses in every bouquet—a single primrose at the center—and I feel her presence, too. They're all here, I realize. In the mockingjays and the primroses, and more importantly, in my heart.
As we're walking, I look at the people around me. For me, who lost a lot of people, there are still many in attendance. I know I shouldn't be thinking about things this morbid at my wedding, I can't help it, though. Gale waves at me, and I wave back. Johanna's beaming from her spot, then winks at me. She mouths something to me, I think it's "have fun with baker boy," I sigh and smile at her. Johanna Mason. District Seven.
Haymitch finally hands me over to Peeta, who's smiling so much I'm afraid his cheeks would start hurting. This makes me smile too. Peeta looks… dashing in his suit. Not overly dressed, but it's Peeta we're talking about. He looks good in everything. At least to me, he does.
Everything is blissful until the exchange of our wedding vows. I think I'm shaking, Peeta seems to be nervous, too.
He takes a deep breath, "Katniss," he starts. "From the moment I saw you when we were five, on that first day of school, I knew I loved you. Since the first time I heard your voice, I knew that I would live the rest of my life loving you, without assurance you'll love me back. The odds were not in our favor, I was Town and you were Seam. I was friendly and you were… well, not so friendly." The audience laughs at that. He continues, "When I was a kid, I dreamt about… you. About making you fall for me as hard as I have fallen for you. I was too much of a coward, though. Great thing I was reaped." The audience laughs again. Here's Peeta, in his wedding—our wedding—making people laugh. I don't know if I could love him even more.
"I have loved you then, with you in your plaid dress and two braids and heavenly voice. I have loved you still, that day in the rain. And I love you, now, in this moment, and I will love you as long as I'm alive, as long as you're with me. And even then, even when I'm gone. I will love you, Katniss Everdeen, with everything I have left, and I hope it's enough."
I don't realize I'm crying until I had to sniff. "I'm sorry about that," I say. I'm rewarded with laughter. Deep breaths. "Peeta, I have not loved you as long as you did me. If it isn't obvious, I was at a disadvantage for I did not see you that day." Everybody laughs, including Peeta. "But when we were twelve, when you threw those loaves at me in the rain, I knew that in a way, I loved you. If you hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here, nor my mom. I'm still in your debt, Peeta. Especially after you saved me, for so many times you did. I hope my love is enough. I promise that I will love you, even when I die. If there is life after that, or if I'm given another chance to do all of this again—lose my dad, almost starve to death, participate in the Games, lead a rebellion… lose you, lose my sister," my voice hitches. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. "I would do all of that again if it means being with you."
Tears are flowing down my face at this point, but Peeta's crying too. At least I'm not alone.
I won't ever be alone.
Never again.
Peeta slips the ring on my finger, not finding his voice. I put his on afterwards, the gold band cold to my touch.
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
Peeta lifts the veil covering my face up, then gently wipes what's left of my tears from my face. He cups my cheek, then leans in for our first kiss as a married couple. I close my eyes and wait for the moment when my lips meet his. I feel him stop, his lips inches from mine. With his forehead pressed against mine, he asks, "You love me, real or not real?"
Real is what I should answer. But this moment is special, this question, out in the open, it's special, and it's like my brain has made the decision for me because I tell him, "Always."
Then it's just me and Peeta and our lips and cheers and laughter and joy. So much joy.
When we've gone down from heaven—I'm not kidding, that's how it really felt—Peeta leads me into the house for the second part of the day, the toasting. Only select people are allowed inside the house, the rest of the guests are left outside to start eating and having fun. They shut the door behind us as we settle in front of the heart where a plate of bread and a rag has already been set. Our toasting is different the traditional toasting. Different because it does not involve a lot of talking and vow exchanging. We've already done that.
Peeta breaks a slice of bread in two, and together, we toast them in the fire. Everything feels solemn, even the soft clinking of glasses and chattering of guests outside. I pull my chunk of bread away from the fire and hold it to Peeta' lips, "I love you," I tell him.
He takes a bite, then does the same to me, "I love you, too."
I bite into the bread he has offered me, accepting it—a symbol of his love, and by accepting his love I accept him as my husband, again. I'm not complaining, though.
He's smiling that shy Peeta smile of his, then looks down as if embarrassed. He looks up at me again, then says, "You're finally mine, I can't believe it."
"I've only been yours, Peeta. No one else's."
"Well, that's nice," he jokes, leaning in for a kiss. I close my eyes and meet him halfway, like I always did. Meet him halfway, in loving, in forgiving, in hating, in being angry, I always met him halfway. Maybe that's love, you don't always have to be perfect for each other at first. You have to be different, then you have to work, to fight for what you feel so you know you deserve each other.
Maybe that's it. That's how it's going to be for the two of us, we might not always see things eye to eye, but we'll always stay together.
Always.