26 – You got it wrong
Deanna sat for her lesson. She stared out the window at the girls running down the street to go to the football game. It was Grandpa Winchester's turn to teach. They fought like cats and dogs but somehow the four of them had written a game plan for their grandchildren's education that everyone stuck to... even if it meant the Winchester children sacrificed their childhood. Sam ate all this shit up when it was about the books but he hated the training. That was the part that Deanna liked best. She liked the power, the choice she had to hurt or not hurt. It felt like the only choice she had anymore.
"Deanna." Henry Winchester barked.
"Yes, sir." Deanna sighed and turned her face away from the window. "Vampires. Extinct. Beheading is the only way to kill them."
"Well, at least you're listening." He pushed his glasses up his nose and made a mark on the chalkboard they kept in the back room just for lessons. "Samuel."
"Revanants. Phenomenon causing sickness and death. Rip out the heart of the corpse to kill." Sam offered.
"Good."
Deanna waded her way through the two hours of monster definitions and waited until it was time to go. Mom had supper ready. Dad was home from work. Grandma Dolores was fidgeting at the table. The whole thing always made her nervous and she was Deanna's one ally for normalcy being the only one who had not grown up in a hunting household. She always made everyone pray. Deanna waited until the meatloaf and mashed potatoes were passed around. "Can I go to the game?"
"Isn't that almost over?" John asked, gesturing to the clock with her fork.
"Yes, but I was in lessons with Grandpa Henry." She tried not to whine. Dad hated that.
"So, what are you really asking?"
She held in the scoff. "Can I go to the DQ and celebrate or commiserate?"
"We're eating dinner now, what are you going to do at the DQ?" John looked to his wife was but she was purposefully working on serving Sam another dose of meatloaf.
"Drink a milkshake, listen to the results of the game. See what I missed." Deanna sullenly ate her mashed potatoes and sliced up her meatloaf.
"Dad?" John looked to his father.
"She's paying attention. Retaining." Henry nodded to his plate.
"She should go and play with her friends." Dolores nodded and pleaded with her son. "She works too hard."
Mary shared a look with her husband. "As long as you're up for drills first thing in the morning. If you're late getting to Grandpa Campbell's you're not going out with your friends for the rest of the semester."
"Okay." Deanna nodded.
"These friends of your father's... they have new books?" Henry looked to Mary.
"New to us. To you." Mary took a breath. "Um... they're sending someone out with them soon."
"I wish I still had my ties with the men of letters but..." Henry shook his head. "Your father has been very helpful."
"Well, family." Mary gave Dolores a wan smile. "What good are they if we don't build something to protect?"
Deanna sipped her milkshake and listened to the guys retell the game and the girls gossip about who fell on their face and who was hitting on who and it just felt... fake. She would almost rather be at home. Stepping outside for some air, she sat on a pylon and sipped her milkshake. She looked up when a man exited with a bag in one hand and his cigarette in the other around his cup. He couldn't get the thing lit. "You need some help, buddy?"
He eyed her and shrugged. She got up and took the cigarette and lighter from him. She popped it in his mouth and lit the end. She took a cigarette from his pocket and lit one for herself. He clenched his cigarette between his teeth. "Help yourself."
"Thanks." She slid the lighter into his shirt pocket and returned to her perch.
He gestured to the dark parking lot, lit only by the lights from the DQ behind them."What's a pretty girl like you doing sitting out here by herself?"
"Getting away from that." She motioned behind her.
"What's the occasion?" He gestured to the overflowing restaurant full of kids.
"Football game. They won. This is celebration part one." She pointed behind her and drug on the cigarette. "Celebration two to follow at someone's house or someone's barn or in a field with some sort of fire and too much booze… and probably the impregnation of half the cheerleading squad."
"Ah." He nodded and tried to shift his bag and cup around so he could get a handle on his cigarette.
"You're not from here."
"That obvious?" He laughed and finally got himself in a position to ash his cigarette without spilling or dropping anything.
"Little bit." She shook her head and stared off into the night. "Your dinner's gonna get cold."
"Yours is getting warm."
"Yeah." She nodded and swirled the melting mess around in her cup. She puffed on the cigarette and glanced behind her at the restaurant full of kids. She wasn't one of them. She had never felt less normal in her life. She looked up at him. "You want some company for dinner? I know a place where you can spread out and eat without people tripping over you or fear of catching a disease."
"Car's over here." He jerked his head over to a car that had seen better days.
Deanna followed him and shoved him into the passenger seat while she drove his car around the city. He ate. They talked about music and sports. She drove them to a little wooded area. He grinned at her. "You a serial killer? You bring me out here to off me and bury the body?"
"Maybe I just want to get you off and die just a little death."
"Shakespeare, huh?"
"You read Shakespeare? Hundred years ago when he wrote it?"
""I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy sight.""
"Wow. You went old school there. They teach "buried in thy eyes" now." She pointed out as she slid across the seat.
"If that's what they teach, how do you know my version is old?"
"Cause I've read all versions. Can we stop talking?" She murmured against his mouth.
"How old are you?"
"Old enough." She pulled open the buttons on his shirt. The first bit of peace she'd felt in months happened when she had her arms around his shoulders, his hips moving in and out, his face buried into her neck. That's when it happened. That little death she'd teased him about. No high school boy had ever gotten her to that place before. Made her open up and grind up, arc underneath him. Made noises she had never known she could make. Her fingers ran over a dozen scars on his back by the time he was done.
Afterward, she got her clothes back on and checked her makeup in his rearview mirror. She could feel his eyes on her. He drove back into town and she directed him back to the DQ. The parking lot was empty and the place dark. "You need me to drop you somewhere else?"
"I walked here. I'll walk back." She shook her head.
"I don't know your name."
"Deanna."
After a pause, he tilted his head at her. "You're not going to ask for mine?"
"I'm not going to see you again. I'll let you be the beautiful stranger in my mind. I won't let you ruin it by saying your name is Bob or Dexter or John."
"Thanks for the tour."
"Thank you for the bliss." She slid out of the car and waited until he'd driven away to start her trek back home. The house was dark and quiet. She walked in through the garage. Her father was tinkering with the car. She helped him get to the tight places with her smaller hands. John kissed her head and sent her to bed. Her mother was asleep in the armchair, a book on spells in her lap. Deanna slipped past and slid into her bed. She let her head hit the pillow and could still feel the skin of his forehead against her neck, the weight of him on top of her. She rolled over and pressed her face into the pillow. Drills. She had drills in the morning.
The morning brought a morning wash up, bananas and oatmeal, then a run with her brother over to their grandfather's. They ran through drills until Sammy screamed for mercy. Then it was back to the house for a big breakfast. Sam Campbell praised Sam's progress. It irritated her that he didn't say anything at all about her progress. Deanna dug into her eggs and kept her eyes on the clock.
She was standing with her mother and grandmother when the last straw hit. She was just standing there. Ready. For anything. Sam announced there was a werewolf nearby and he wanted to take Sammy out to take care of it. Sammy didn't want to go. Deanna was dying to go. No one even thought she should be on the hunt. She stared at her father. Then her mother. No one got it. She shrieked and stormed out of the house.
Her father was the one who followed. "Deanna!" They were up the block at the park by the time she slowed down. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Why is he taking fucking Sammy on a werewolf hunt?" She gestured wildly.
"Watch your mouth." John muttered. "Look… we had an agreement. Sammy hunts. You study."
Her brain exploded for a moment. "With who? Why? Sammy hates hunting."
"The six of us agreed that it would suit better if the Campbells took Sammy and the Winchesters took you."
"You got it wrong." She told him. "Whatever agreement you made… you got it wrong. Sammy would love to hang out with Grandpa Winchester all the time. He loves the studying and the research."
"It's just better."
"For who? I love to hunt. I want to hunt. I'd rather be sparring and hunting any day than be cooped up with Grandpa Winchester. Grandpa Sam should take me on that hunt. I would do it right." Then she stared at him for a long moment. "It's cause I'm a girl. You want me to sit at home because I'm a girl and Sammy should be out having all the fun… except… it's not fun to him. It's not something he wants."
"He's a kid, he doesn't know what he wants. Like you."
"I'm 17. I want to hunt."
"It's not a life I want you in."
"But it's okay for Sam because he's a boy."
"I didn't say that."
"Forget it." She stormed off again. When she made it home, dinner was cold. She picked at it, ate half and sat with one of her father's beers. She was halfway through the beer when her mother walked in. She sat down and raised an eyebrow at the bottle. "You guys just wrote me off."
"Honey… I don't understand why you're so upset. I hated going hunting when I was your age."
"That was you. It's not me. I love hunting. Sam hates it. He was born to be a Man of Letters. I'm a Hunter. I'm a Campbell." She sighed and finished her beer. "You should have given us a choice."
"I can't explain it to you right now but we made the choices we made for a reason." Mary stood and kissed her head. "Eat some more before you go to bed."
"It was one beer." Deanna scoffed but did as told.
In the morning, they all left for the hunt. Grandma Deanna brought some hunters by and Deanna was shooed away. She ended up in the backyard with the bow and arrow. She did a few warm ups with the target facing forward, then she tilted it up to practice her long-shot from the other side of the yard. Then she climbed the fence and shot at the target as she ran on top of the fence, sometimes on her tip toes as the fence wobbled under her. Then her father was standing in the yard with the hunters, motioning for her to come in. So naturally, she did a flip off the fence and landed in a stroll over to them. He had his hands on his hips. "Was that necessary?"
"Jesus Christ." She gritted at him. "I just can't do anything right, can I?" She thrust her bow and quiver at him and pushed past the men and into the house. She ignored her mother and went upstairs to use her parents shower. Afterward, she disappeared into her room and didn't come out until the third call for dinner. Jeans, boots, tank top and a pony tail. Her father would know immediately that she meant business and she was pissed.
They had a buffet outside and the tables set up. So the hunters were still around. She took up a spot on the end of the table with her plate and didn't look at anyone. She ate her potato salad and sawed away at a piece of meat that said her father had been manning the grill. Her father sat beside her and tried to get her to look at him. "Go put some clothes on."
"I'm dressed."
"Barely and your mother's got hunters here. Go put on a shirt."
"No." She shoved a huge piece of meat into her mouth.
"I don't want these guys staring at you and they're staring."
"Then maybe you should have let me go on the hunt. Then I wouldn't be here to be stared at." She picked up her plate and moved to the other end of the table. A throat clearing made her look up. She froze. "Hi."
"I, uh… didn't think I'd see you here." He said between bites of potato salad. "Not many girls I meet turn up at a Hunter's BBQ."
"It's my house." She shrugged.
"I figured that out. You're THAT Deanna."
"What does that mean?" She laughed.
"We've all heard." He gestured to the others at the table. "We all knew Mary had kids and someone said one of you was damn good but no one had ever seen you at it. That was some show you put on with the bow and arrow this morning." He held his hand up. "No offense but most of us thought you'd be a boy."
"Yeah well…" She cleared her throat. "Don't tell anyone… about the other night. Don't know if you noticed but the Men of Letters over there are pretty uptight."
"Yeah. I saw." He kept eating. "Your dad… should never man a grill ever."
She really laughed at that. "Oh… he thinks he burns meat the best."
"Yep. This is burnt." He nodded. Then he held out his hand. "Name's Caleb."
"Good to meet you, Caleb." She shook it firmly.
"Looks like they should have taken you out for that werewolf."
She sighed. "They're never going to let me go."
"No?"
"I'm promised to the Men of Letters."
"That's a mistake right there."
"Can you tell them that?"
He shook his head as he continued to eat. Then he glanced around. "How old are you?"
"I meant what I said… don't say anything."
"19?"
"In two years."
"Oh shit." Caleb shut his eyes. He opened them again and he couldn't keep the grin off his face. "They're all going to kill me."
"Not if you keep your mouth shut." She pointed out. She finished off the hockey puck on her plate and took some broccoli thing when her grandmother walked past with it. They chatted a bit about weapons and hand to hand while they finished off their plates. Then she walked with him to the far side of the yard so he could smoke a cigarette. She didn't take one when he offered though she wanted it badly. She could already feel her father's eyes on the back of her head. They talked about a song they'd both heard on the radio. She laughed with him over a botched hunt he'd done two states over before meeting her at the DQ that night.
Deanna left him to help with the clean up. She was emptying the broccoli thing into a container in the kitchen when her Grandma Winchester caught her off guard. "So, you had yourself a good time out there."
"I guess." She shrugged and tried not to look like she had something to hide.
"Who was that fellow you were talking to?"
"Um… Caleb. I think." She cleared her throat.
"Ah. I think your Grandfather Henry said that one was different from the other hunters."
"Yeah?" Deanna fought the lid onto the container.
"Said his folks died when he was little. He was raised by hunters but that maybe someone should have looked into his folks. Maybe they had some roots elsewhere."
"I don't know. He seems to like hunting."
"I thought he looked rather smitten, myself."
"Grandma." She hissed at her. "He's too old for me."
"Hormones don't know age." She pointed out while she piled the remainder of the burnt meat into a foil packet. "I married Henry when I was 16 and he was 25. Of course, things were different then."
"It's 1996, no one gets married when they're 16."
"No, but you're 17."
"Grandma!" Deanna shrieked as her mother walked into the kitchen with an armload of potato salad. Mary stopped short and looked between the two of them. She set the bowl down and left again. "Dad would have a cow, anyway."
"Your father was birthing about five cows before you went over and met that young man." Dolores pointed out. "Maybe he is a little old for you but he seems like a nice young man and he seemed to like you quite a bit."
"He did?" Deanna bit her lip.
"He did."
"How's that going to go down? I'm supposed to be this Woman of Letters and I just… what?"
"Your father is a Man of Letters. Your mother is a Hunter." She gestured around. "We're still figuring that one out. You have a benefit your parents didn't. You were raised with a foot in each world."
"What were the chances? I mean really? Of them meeting?"
"Henry still thinks it was a conspiracy." Dolores admitted.
"Grandpa Sam thinks Dad is a weenie." Deanna laughed to herself. "But I've learned more about hunting from Dad than I ever did from Mom."
"Before your parents met, I didn't know what Henry did at all those late night meetings." Dolores confided. "When John came of age… it was really lonely."
"I just feel suffocated, I guess." Deanna finally admitted. "I have for a while."
"Your father felt the same way, I assume. Why else would he have enlisted during that damned war?" She sighed heavily. "Your mother… was trying to leave her life. They found each other. Now we all live in both."
Deanna thought about that night in Caleb's car. Caleb. His name was Caleb. How wonderful was that name? If only he had just left. Deanna scrubbed up the serving spoons and forks, listening to bits of conversation from the backyard. Then her Grandfather took her Grandmother home. Grandma Deanna was still out back with the guys. Mary guided Deanna outside to the far fence. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She shook her head.
"You and Dad have been fighting for days."
"I want to hunt." Deanna told her mother. "I wanted to go on that hunt. I'm a hunter. It's in my blood. You can't say it's not." She took a deep breath. "And Dad was pissed that some of those hunters were looking at my goodies and I refused to go inside and put on a shirt. And Grandma Dolores wants me to marry that super-hot hunter with the great head of hair."
"Caleb." Mary turned to look at the man, who sharply looked away. "Caleb."
"It's what Grandma Dolores thought." Deanna tried to back pedal.
"That's the worst person on the planet to marry." Mary snorted. "He can look. Don't let him touch. You'll catch something."
"Don't worry about me, Mom. I can take care of myself."
"I know." Mary kept her daughter under her arm as she led her back over to the hunters. They were listening to John tell a tale of hunting with Sam Campbell. Deanna tried not to be obvious and make eyes at Caleb but it was hard. Every time she looked at him, he was looking back… the way he had in his car the other night before he had entered her. Like she knew what they were thinking, Mary's grip on her daughter tightened. Deanna the elder shooed all the men off when it got too late to justify another reason for Deanna the younger to go inside.
The three women sat at the kitchen table eating yoghurt and blueberries out of a container in the middle of the table. John excused himself to bed, grateful when Deanna let him kiss her head. Deanna stared at the blueberries, eating them one by one, slowly letting each one burst in her mouth before savoring the juice and letting them slide down her throat before reaching for another. She was barely listening to them talk about her like she wasn't there.
"Dolores is crazy."
"She's a civilian. She just wants Deanna settled and safe."
"And married to Caleb is safe?"
"Why are we talking about this? It's not like he's even met her."
"He met her tonight. Couldn't keep his eyes off her."
"He's nearly 30."
"Yeah… John and I were barely out of our teens."
"Caleb is likely to be diseased. And Deanna's too nice a girl to fall for the likes of him."
"I don't know. She's been staring into space since you ran them all off."
"They've never met before. What do they have in common?"
"John and I were love at first sight."
"I think you mean love at first fight." Deanna Campbell cleared her throat. "I recall you coming home in a fluster because that boy from your high school was home from the war and he was even more infuriating than he was before the war and he took the last Danish at the bakery before you got there… and had the nerve to ask if you'd buy it off him for a kiss."
"Mom…" Mary sighed and gestured to her daughter as she was absently eating yoghurt and destroying blueberries with her tongue. "It's going to happen. I don't think we have a choice about it. John saw it happening before they even met. You know he's good at reading people."
"They're all leaving in the morning. Probably before any of us get up. They're waiting on our Samuels to return to us."
"John wants me to stand guard, tonight."
"All the boys went back to the motel."
"I'm not going to sneak out to see a man I barely know." Deanna sighed heavily as she finished her yoghurt. "Lord knows it's hard enough getting out of this house to see a football game."
"I thought you missed the game." Mary frowned at her daughter as she rinsed out her bowl.
"That was my point." Deanna waved and them and went to her room to stare at the ceiling and remember Caleb's smile and his eyes and his hair that was shorter than she usually saw on hunters. She thought his widow's peak was hot. His frame had fit in her arms. Like he was made for her. If she had never seen him again, she would be over him already but he'd been in her yard and laughed with her over her father's cooking and he knew his weapons. And he was too old.
In the morning, she got up and went for a run with her mother instead of going to school. Her father was still tinkering with the car when they got back. She hopped in the shower and was downstairs in time for breakfast with both her grandmothers. They had been talking about her. Had to be. They went silent when she walked in. She narrowed her eyes at them before she took her coffee to the table.
She kept watching them while they stirred their coffee and ate their eggs. Her father kissed her head before he went to the sink to wash the grease off his hands. When she was done eating and he was almost done, she leaned on him and took the hug when he gave it. John looked to his wife and Mary just shrugged. She was still sitting her head on his shoulder when the Sams walked in. Sammy was filthy and went straight to the bathroom to shower. Samuel took a seat and took some breakfast. "I let him do everything or else we would have been back by two."
"If you had taken me, we would have had that werewolf an hour after the moon had risen." Deanna murmured. She kissed her dad's cheek and went outside to practice tumbling.
Samuel looked around the table. "What the hell was that?"
"Seems she was expecting to go on the hunt and she was the only one who knew she wasn't going." Mary told her father. "She's been giving us hell all weekend."
"Thought she was going to the game." Sam shook his head. "You all wanted her to participate in the high school shit that I made Mary skip out on."
"She missed the game Friday night. She was up early Saturday." John took a breath. "I think I got the worst of her wrath."
"Well… I'm far from the master of the teenaged girl mind. What are we doing with the girl?"
"I don't think she even knows, Dad." Mary shook her head. "She was miffed about the hunt but she was over it by dinner last night."
"Was she?"
John breathed in deep and let it out slow. "Can I lock her up? I mean… we can home-school til she's 30, right?"
"She's got a year left of school, John." Mary scoffed at him. "You're just terrified that it wasn't in your head." She laughed and looked to her mother and mother-in-law. They were all grinning.
"What is that? Some female thing?" Sam shook his head at them.
"Caleb Bailey brought those books by, the ones you asked for. He caught her eye. He entertained her, took a bit of the heat out of her fire." Deanna told him.
"He's nearly 30."
"He distracted her. She's got a crush." Dolores waved him off.
"What in the world were you all thinking? Letting that man-whore talk to our Deanna." Samuel scoffed at them. "John…"
"She was running away from John in the first place." Mary pointed out. "We all know his reputation. We kept an eye on her. He made her laugh, she showed him how to shoot a bow properly. Lord knows he couldn't get it down when I tried to teach him."
"He's gone, right?"
"The boys are all sleeping it off at the motel. They should be heading out soon."
"Good." Sam nodded. "I'll get her a hunt."
"Thanks, Dad." Mary nodded.
Deanna spent the week reciting definitions for her beloved Grandpa Henry, then she went with her beloved Grandpa Sam to take care of a poltergeist, a nasty one, over the weekend. She felt like herself again soon enough. She went to school, learned her Letters, kept up her training and just felt like she was tired all the time. Her friends stopped talking to her, even when she did show up to the games. By homecoming, she was a pariah who ate her lunch in the stadium. Some of her old boyfriends tried to get her under the stadium but she wasn't interested. Some days she thought she should, to help her forget him. But after him… she didn't want to touch anyone else.
Then it was during PE that it happened. She was spiking a ball with perfect form when her vision blurred and instead of landing with bent knees, ready to jump again, she collapsed to the gym floor. She struggled to get to her feet and ended up leaning on both coaches to get to the bench. Water and juice and some crackers had her feeling a bit steadier. It was Grandma Dolores who picked her up to go to the doctor. The doctor dabbled in a bit of hoodoo. The first thought anyone had was ghost sickness.
Then she was home in bed with soup and crackers and ginger ale while they wanted for the doctor to call. Deanna slept and slept hard. Sammy woke her up with her homework assignments. She snuggled with him while he told her about the new girl who thought he was cute. They went downstairs for dinner. Deanna waved everyone off who checked on her. She was grateful that it was just immediate family. She had enough with Mom and Dad checking her forehead and watching her eat.
The four of them were watching television, like a normal family, when the phone rang. John got up to get it. He came back with a look on his face. He stared at Deanna hard. She sat up. "What? What's wrong?"
"John?" Mary turned to look at him.
"Sam, go to your room." John got the words out but his voice broke on the last word.
Sam looked at Deanna and then scurried away. Deanna stared at her father. Her highly intelligent and educated father who had taught himself to be a hunter and mechanic and soldier because he wasn't happy with his life. Who had married Hunting. This was the first time she had ever seen him so lost. "Daddy, what's wrong?"
"That was the doctor's office. Your results are in." He leaned on the back of the armchair and looked at his wife. "She's not sick. She's pregnant."
"Deanna!" Mary turned to her daughter.
Deanna's face turned ashen. She shook her head. She'd gotten her periods. Like clockwork. "No. I can't be."
"Who was it?" John demanded.
"I… I…" Deanna shook her head. "I can't be."
"Deanna." Mary moved over to sit next to her. "Come on."
"Where are you taking her?" John barked.
"We're going for a drive." Mary told him.
The drive was short. The pharmacy. Mary bought five tests and a big bottle of water. Deanna drank and Mary drove. "I don't know who it is. I don't much care right now. We'll just see for ourselves and then go from there."
"You got it wrong." Deanna shook her head as she stared out the window as she drank water. They pulled into a diner and Deanna peed on the tests. They came up positive and she joined her mother in the booth. She cried on her mother's shoulder. Deanna just couldn't stop the tears. Mary rocked her and ordered a chocolate shake. "When I found out I was pregnant with you, I cried for two days straight. And I was married. John and I had just figured out each other's big secret and we were… we were thinking about getting a divorce and then you happened. I didn't want to tell him because I figured that if he stayed it was because of you."
"What happened?"
"We were at a barbecue. It was the Fourth. It was the same as it had been for months. My father yelling at his father and his mother demanding to know why no one had told her anything and who would raise children this way. Mother said something. I don't remember what. John and I had had it. I grabbed him and stood to leave and I told everyone that they were going to have to get over it. John and I were in love and we were staying together and we were going to raise our child in a safe and happy home if it killed us. Then I stormed out with him. John and I… we had a long talk. I didn't want to have a baby if it wasn't with him and I couldn't live in this life without him. I knew he felt the same way. We were both just tired of everyone arguing."
"What did you do?"
"We went on a trip. I'll spare you the details but it was refreshing to remember that we loved each other and that it was the thing that mattered most. Then you came and you settled everyone. My parents and Dad's parents were so happy to be grandparents they didn't have time to fight for a long time."
"What am I going to do?" Deanna sniffed.
"Well… which punk do we have to have a talk with? Is that Daniel boy or was it that Charlie fellow?"
Deanna shut her eyes. "I don't know. Daniel was last spring and Charlie was a summer thing. I'd be showing by now..." Then her breath hitched as the memory of a beat up car in the woods that creaked softly as a man with blue eyes had given her the first and last orgasm she'd ever had. A man that was way too old and everyone in her house had kept her away from. "Don't be mad at me."
"What is it?"
"I did something stupid. I was bored when I went out. I picked up a guy from out of town…"
"Oh sweetie…"
"I was just… bored." She started bawling again.
"I'll talk to Dad."
"I'm sorry."
"Sh. Sh. We'll make an appointment. We'll find out the due date and then we'll move from there."
Deanna slinked past her father when they got back to the house. She could hear them fighting from her room. He didn't talk to her for two weeks. Her doctor put her on restricted movement until her bleeding and vertigo passed. She started showing around Thanksgiving. Started eating everything in sight by Christmas.
Then John and Mary went on a hunt before New Years. Deanna took Sam out to dinner so she could get out of the house. She didn't care who stared at her. Sam stared at her belly a lot. She called him a dweeb. When she was done, she went outside for air while Sam used the bathroom. She sipped her shake and stared up at the sky with her dad's jacket swallowing her up. The car pulled up and then Caleb stood in front of her. He stared. "We've met like this before."
"Yep." She nodded, her eyes going a bit wet. "You come to see Grandpa Sam?"
"Yeah. I got some more books for him. Figured I'd eat before I went over." He shoved his hand in his pocket and motioned with the other. "That your dinner?"
"Just the chaser." She shook her head. "Waiting on my brother."
"So… no tour this time around?" He joked lightly.
"My folks are out on a hunt. I'm in charge." She shook her head.
"Are you okay?" He looked her over.
"I'm fine." She shrugged. "Just tired."
"You okay to drive home?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." She nodded. "Let my grandma know that I haven't starved the brat when you see her."
"You mad at me for something?" She shook her head and offered him a little smile.
"Slut." A voice came from the door before Sam emerged, shoving the door shut in the face of the heckler. Sam rushed to Deanna. "Who's this?"
"Caleb, a friend of Grandpa Sam's." Deanna took him under her arm. "Caleb, my brother Sam."
"Nice to meet you." Caleb shook his hand. Then motioned to the door. "That part of your long day?"
"They're just bitches from school." Sam explained. "They swear they've never seen a pregnant girl before."
Deanna took a moment too long to meet his eyes. Caleb stared at her for a long moment. "I gotta get him home. It was good to see you again."
"Deanna." Caleb started but let her rush off with her brother.
Deanna ignored Sam the whole way home. She parked the Chevy in the garage and stayed in the car for a long time. She left her jacket on her father's work bench and took her sore back into the house. She was just getting comfortable when the knock came at the front door. She got up and she hesitated with her hand on the chain.
"Deanna… it's Caleb. I just… want to talk."
She opened the door and let him in. He just stared at her and her bump. He touched her face. "Don't."
"Is… it mine?"
She nodded and bit her lip so she wouldn't cry. "I didn't tell anybody. My dad is… disappointed but I think my mom understands."
"What did you tell her?"
"That I… had a one night stand with some stranger from out of town."
"Why didn't… Your granddad would have gotten word to me."
"Before or after he killed you?" She looked up at him. "I've had both my mom and my grandma tell me that I could catch something just by looking at you."
"Maybe once that was true." He lowered his eyes.
"Figured maybe you… wouldn't care. Wouldn't want… me."
"You got it wrong." Then his eyes lifted to hers. "I was gone the second I laid eyes on you. That very first second."
"I've died a little bit every second since the last time I saw you." She sobbed and reached for him and he was already there and the very next breath she took was full of him. Lips and breath and his arms holding her up. When they came up for air, Deanna suddenly felt the best she had the entire pregnancy.
"We need to elope."
"I can't… not right now. I can't leave Sam by himself."
"Bring him."
"Caleb… I'm still in school."
"You don't have to be. We get married tonight and I can take care of you."
"I'm scared."
"Don't be scared. I got you."
"Deanna?" Sam's voice reached their ears. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." Deanna released Caleb and turned to her brother. "I'm fine."
"Come on." Caleb motioned. "We're going on a trip. Short one. We'll be back by morning."
"There's no place that close." Deanna shook her head.
"We'll find one."
"Caleb… Let's just wait." She tugged on his arm. "I'm 18 in three weeks. Come on. Just… I'm tired. Let's go to sleep. Please."
"I'll lock up." Sam volunteered.
"Please." She tugged him with her to her room. Caleb followed reluctantly. He kicked off his boots and climbed into bed with her. He fell asleep to the feel of her hand running through his hair. He woke to her flipping his hair over his diving widow's peak. "Are you going bald?"
"Frighteningly fast." He admitted. "I think I'll just start shaving it." He let his hand fall to her belly. She grimaced. "What?"
"She's moving."
"She?"
"Mmm-hmmm."
"You were right. We should wait. I need to… set down some roots. We need to decide where those roots are going to be." He traced designs on her belly. "Will they be someplace close to your folks or close to where I grew up?"
"Where's that?"
"Nebraska."
"Mmmm. Let's get some breakfast, then decide." She dragged him out of bed. Sam was already getting breakfast together. Caleb chatted with Sam while they ate. When Caleb left to get a change of clothes and a motel room, Deanna and Sam talked about him. "He wants to marry me and take care of our baby."
"He seems like a good guy."
"I think he is. I don't know him all that well."
"Then how do you know you want to marry him?"
"I knew three months ago. I just… knew." Deanna remembered that night. She forgot about everything else and there was just Caleb. His smile and his kind eyes and his hands that would reach to touch her but never did because everyone was watching.
"Dad would flip if he came home and you were married and moved out."
"I know."
"He would kill Caleb."
"I know."
"He'll kill you."
"If he was gonna kill me, he would have done it when I first turned up pregnant."
"Deanna?"
"Yeah?"
"Call Pastor Jim. He'll do it quick and he won't tell no one."
"That's why you're the smart one." She finished her tea and let her brother call the pastor. The old man showed up just after lunch. Caleb met him in the yard. They had a long talk before they walked into the house. Caleb had his room at the motel but he had the ads for local apartments on the table. At sunset, they were married in the backyard. Deanna went with Caleb to the motel. Jim stayed in the house with Sam.
Deanna ate heartily at the steak place Caleb took her for dinner. They walked through the snow to the room. She felt strange when she shucked her sweatpants for bed. Caleb counted out a bunch of bills on the desk. He wrote a note and wrapped the bills up with the note. He waved it at her. "Down payment on a place. I'll need to hustle to get another nest egg together."
"What are we doing?" She asked suddenly.
"You want to go home?"
"No… I…"
"It's fast. I know. I just… I feel like if your dad comes back and we don't have a solid plan… he and all those folks that were at your house that day will come and string me up." He tugged off his shirt and joined her on the bed. "Don't be scared."
"We don't know each other."
"We got forever for that."
She let him kiss away her worries and make love for the first time as a married woman. Afterward, she cradled her belly in her hands and leaned against him. "You know… Grandma Winchester tried to tell me I wasn't too young to get married after she saw us talking at the barbecue."
"She a psychic?"
"No. She just knew she wanted to marry my granddad when they met. She was 16."
"I thought she looked young to be a grandmother with a grown granddaughter."
"Can we just… keep doing what we just did until we pass out?"
It was noon when the pounding at the door started. Deanna woke and hit Caleb, who was still wrapped around her. He picked his head up and had to find his pants so he could answer the door. Deanna found her sweatshirt and her sweatpants before he got there. The door opened and in burst John Winchester. "Who in the fuck do you think you are?"
"Whoa!"
"Daddy!" Deanna had to push her way between them. "Stop it."
"What in the hell is going on here?" John demanded.
"Caleb and I got married. He's gonna take care of me and the baby." Deanna gently pushed him back toward the door. "It's his baby… He didn't know."
"Come on. We're going home."
"No. We're not." She shook her head. "If I do go home… I'll just leave on my birthday."
"We didn't raise you to run off and marry some hunter."
"Like you?" She bit out. "You married Mom. You went and promised me to the Men of Letters without even finding out if that's what I wanted. I don't want it. I want to hunt. I want to hunt with Caleb. And have his baby and maybe more of his babies."
"You're coming home. You got school."
"Yeah, school. Where I was freak before I was pregnant…. Now they all stare and call me names."
"He's too old for you."
"Maybe. Maybe he is. But… I've never felt like this before. I feel like I'm dying when he's not here and when he is, I'm in this cloud and nothing can touch me. Not even you." She sniffed and pushed him back to the door. "So… go home. We'll see you later."
She shut the door before he could answer. They took turns getting showered and dressed, knowing that if they tumbled back into bed, it would be a bad start for when they met up with her family. She wore her own sweat pants but one of Caleb's flannel shirts. Caleb found his last clean shirt and they picked up a pie on the way to dinner. The buffet table was set up in the backyard. John was burning steaks with murderous intent. Caleb introduced himself properly to everyone. Pastor Jim kept the conversation light. He toasted the marriage.
"Caleb. What are your plans?" Samuel asked as he cut into his steak.
"Deanna and I have been looking through ads. She wants to stay in town and I want what she wants." He looked down at his wife. "I've got a bit set aside for a place. I'll need to get some steady work going for the long haul."
"What is it you're good at?" John grumbled.
"I'm a fair carpenter."
"Caleb made the bench on my porch." Jim offered them.
"Deanna was to become a Woman of Letters." Henry cut in. "I don't suppose her studies will continue at this point…"
John and Mary shared a long look. "I know what we agreed, Dad. I think it's time we revaluated."
"How so?"
"Deanna's rather fond of hunting. She's good at it. Sammy seems better suited to the books."
"I'll say." Samuel muttered.
"She can start training again when the baby's a few months old." Deanna the elder reassured her husband.
"Mary was training straight through." Samuel frowned. "Both pregnancies if I recall."
"Deanna's been on restricted movement." She reminded him.
Caleb looked to his wife. Deanna squeezed his arm. "I was bleeding through my second month and I got dizzy at school. I'm better now." He kept staring at her. "I'm fine. The baby's fine. I didn't know I was pregnant yet."
After dinner, Caleb and John took a walk and smoked some cigarettes. John motioned back to the house. "I got outvoted. I wanted to bash your head in. None of the women want Deanna to raise her kid alone. Samuel said he'd rather have you in the family than drifting out there, getting yourself killed. My dad figured that you'd done the honest thing and you would have to agree to raise your kid in our life. Both ways. Men of Letters and hunting."
Caleb did what he should have done in the first place. "I need your blessing. We did everything wrong. We did. Me especially. When I met Deanna, I didn't know who she was or what she was until it was too late to undo it. Most of what they say about me is right."
"So, why should I give the man in front of me my blessing? You already knocked her up. You eloped with my priest. I got nothing but bad vibes from you since you set foot in my house."
"Since I laid eyes on her, I can't stop thinking about her. I would have come back sooner but I couldn't find the right excuse. When I found out she was pregnant… I didn't care if it was mine. I still wanted to take care of her. When she told me that she's carrying my daughter… it was nearly the most complete that I have ever felt. Then she agreed to marry me… and I nearly lost it." He took a breath. "I'll keep her close. I won't let her hunt without me. I'll make sure she gets her GED. I'll make sure all those women in there get to see your granddaughter plenty."
"How about we just… get along for the sake of the women? That's not a battle I'm willing to get into."
"For now."
"You plan on winning me over?" John laughed and kept laughing all the way back into the house. Caleb followed and found his wife. She had a bag slung over her shoulder. She kissed his mouth and led him out of the house. John sighed and looked to his wife, mother and mother-in-law. "We'll see. I give a year."
Deanna spent her birthday in the ER with her husband and mother. The cramps wouldn't stop and she couldn't sit still. Caleb had to hold her in his arms so her mother would quit freaking out. Mary made idle chatter. "How is the new place?"
"New." Caleb nodded. "It's nice. We've got rooms to spare." He rubbed her back. "I hired a service to clean it and Pastor Jim came by to bless it. I got her a good bed. That's all we got right now. I'm just glad to be out of the motel."
"I am, too. John, too." Mary nodded. "We'll go garage-sale hopping this weekend."
"I got my GED test this weekend." Deanna shook her head. "Why is this taking so long?"
"They'll get to us soon." Mary reassured her. "Well, we'll go Sunday. Tuesday Morning."
"I hate that store."
"I want to buy you some dishes. We're going."
"Deanna Bailey!"
The trio got up and followed the nurse. Deanna answered all the questions. The nurse nodded and nodded and then the ultrasound tech came in and asked questions and made everyone nervous when he went to get the doctor.
Deanna let her father in the door and let him follow her back to the kitchen. She put on tea while he looked around the house. "Caleb at work?"
"You know he is." Deanna sniffed and got busy looking for clean cups. She hadn't done the dishes in a week. Or maybe Caleb had done them last. Her hand rested on her flattening belly and the feel of it made her cry. She cried on her father's chest, she wept hard. She hadn't seen him since her birthday dinner and it was such a relief to hug him.
"It's okay, baby." He kissed her head. "I'd ask how you're doing but I think I can guess at the answer."
"I don't do anything but cry."
"Go on. Have a seat. I'll get the tea poured."
Deanna sat and watched her tea steep. She listened to her father wash her dishes. Then he sat and looked at her while she let the tears dry on her face. "Thanks, Daddy."
"Maybe you shouldn't be alone all day."
"I just got off bed rest." She shrugged. Maybe that was over weeks ago but she couldn't get out of bed if she tried on most days. "Caleb's got that new job…"
"You know… you can come home."
"I can't do that."
"You two got married because of the baby… you can come home now."
"I can't do that." She shook her head.
"Sweetie…"
"Stop it." She sniffed and cradled her head in her hands. "This is hard enough. We're both so sad and I don't know what I need and Caleb doesn't know what to do and I…"
"Come home."
"I…" Deanna stared at him. "I know you don't like him but I love Caleb. I love him so much… and I feel so guilty for… everything."
"These… things happen. It's hard on a marriage."
"Can you go now?" Deanna sat and stared at her tea cup until long after he'd gone. Then she just stared at the empty space until Caleb came home. He had groceries with him. He made them both a sandwich and they ate silently. Caleb kissed her face and took a breath. "You washed the dishes? I said I'd do it when I got home."
"Dad came over. He washed them." She whispered.
"You want to go for a walk?"
"Maybe later?"
"Okay. What did your dad want?"
"To take me home. I told him to leave."
"Do you want to? Go home?" He asked gently. "I mean… you shouldn't be alone all day."
"He wanted me to come home for good." She met his eyes. He frowned. She sniffed and picked at the crumbs on her plate. "He didn't say it but he said it… that we got married because of the baby and now that there's no baby… we don't need to be married."
"Well, he's got it wrong." Caleb pulled her out of her chair and pulled her with him outside to catch the last little bit of the sun. He walked with her under his arm. She clung to his side. She felt the grass underneath her feet.
"I feel like I'm a hundred years old." She whispered.
"Join the club."
"Do you think he's right?"
"I told you that he's wrong. I didn't marry you because of a baby. I married you because you're you and there was a baby. We would have done this eventually. I knew if I didn't marry you right away, we'd spend forever apart trying to get together."
"Caleb… can we go to bed now?"
"Come on… let's get washed up." Caleb pulled her into the house. "Sam's birthday's in two weeks… we should make an effort to go."
"You're right." She nodded. She gathered clothes for them both. Caleb ran the bath and he helped her in when it was ready. He got in on the other side and they relaxed. It really was the one thing their house had going for it. The big tub. Scrubbed, they cuddled on the one side until the water cooled. Dried and dressed, they climbed into bed. "We should start training again."
"Okay." Caleb kissed her head.
"I think I'm going with Mom this weekend to look for furniture."
"Okay."
"I'm gonna fly to the moon and start a strawberry winery."
"Okay."
"I'm leaving you for Keanu Reeves."
"Okay."
"Caleb!" She kneed him in the ribs.
"Ow."
"You're not listening to me." She complained.
"I am so. Training. Mom, furniture, weekend. Moon, strawberry wine. You and Keanu Reeves are gonna take the bus." And laughed when she kneed him again. Then they were still once more.
"Will you make love to me?" She whispered.
"You ready for that?" He asked softly.
"I need you."
"The doc said…"
"She said when I felt ready we could. I think I'm ready."
"We don't have to."
"I need to." She kissed his mouth and ran her hands under his shirt. "Please."
Caleb went slow, kissing and teasing her until he thought he'd driven himself crazy. It took all his strength to pull out. He spilled on the back of her thigh. He used his shirt to clean her up and held tight when she tried to escape the bed. He rocked her until she was calm again.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. We're okay."
"Some day?"
"Yes. Some day. Not today. We're not ready."
"I wanna be."
"Me, too."
John looked up when his daughter walked in the door. She was grinning. "So, you got it?"
"Yep." She nodded and sank down onto the couch next to him. "Caleb fell in the pit. He's washing up at home. He'll be by in a bit."
"He turned out to be a good one, didn't he?" John pat her knee.
"He's the best, Dad." She kissed his cheek. "Where's the brat?"
"Brat?" He looked his daughter over. "You're one to talk. I hardly see you between hunts as it is and you're calling your studious brother a brat?"
"He'll graduate high school and go to college and Grandpa Henry will finally shut up about having a new generation of Men of Letters."
"He'll never shut up about that." John snorted. "Sam's got the rehearsal and then he's going out to dinner. Your mother said I was responsible for myself so I hope you didn't get your hopes up about a home cooked meal tonight."
"We ate on the way home." She shook her head and turned to lean on him while he read his book. "You want me to call Caleb to pick you something up before he comes over?"
"Well, I'd like a patty melt with extra onions. Your mother feels like maybe it would be the end of me."
"I'll call him in a bit. Feel this." Deanna took his hand and put it on her belly. She'd only just started to show. Her baby kicked and she felt him stiffen behind her. "I wanted to tell you first."
He took a deep breath. "Your mother will be jealous that you told me first."
"Caleb wanted to wait until we were through the second trimester but everyone will know in two weeks probably."
"I didn't think the two of you would last a year… especially after what happened."
"I love him, Dad." She sighed. "We didn't start it right but it's real."
"I see that, now."
"He's still waiting on that blessing."
"I suppose I oughta give it."
They both looked up when Mary walked in from outside with Caleb. "Look who I found outside."
"You got here too fast." Deanna chided. "We were gonna sneak Dad some contraband."
"Oh. He brought it." Mary tossed the bag at her husband. "You'll need to sterilize before you come to bed."
"See, that's why you're my favorite son-in-law." John opened the back. "Oh, I can smell the extra onions."
"You're disgusting." Mary told her husband and looked her daughter over as she got to her feet. Mary cupped her daughter's face. "And you. You look happy. This Caleb fellow do that to you?"
"Yeah." She nodded to her mother and tugged her mother away from Caleb. His eyes widened and he started to give chase. "And we have news."
"Deanna, we said."
"You said." She shook her head at him and grinned wildly at her mother. "And besides, I already spilled the beans to Dad."
"Deanna." Caleb chased her around the living room.
"We're gonna have a baby." Deanna told her mother. Mary took a deep breath and kissed her daughter's face. "The doctor says that everything is right on schedule. The baby will be here by Thanksgiving at the latest."
"We have to tell your grandmothers." Mary kissed her again then hugged her son-in-law. The two women rushed into the kitchen to get out some ice cream. Caleb sank onto the couch. He looked to John.
"She's excited. I haven't seen her that excited in years."
"Me either." Caleb nodded and took the greasy squeeze on the shoulder when it came. "I'm terrified. I don't know if I can see her broken down like she was that first time."
"It's different already. I can tell. She was tired all the time and moody as hell."
"You're right. She's different."
"You just keep her safe."
"Safe as she'll let me."