Today was Liam Jackson's birthday. As always, he allowed himself to exist outside the battlefield, free from his instincts to kill. A time to ponder. A time to awaken.

For the last twenty four years, he was given this time. One hour, every year. For twenty-four hours since Jackson was born, he existed.

But for what?

It was the same question he asked twenty four times.

Jackson tried to answer the same question. He tried to reach out to him, to talk to him, to learn more about him. But he rejected. They were two different people, and that was how it was going to stay.

There were very few things that he knew about himself. He knew that he was a clone. He knew that he was a failed experiment. He knew that he was bred to kill.

He had come to terms with his name, or lack thereof. Most people called him by the name "Jackson", but that was the man ruled over him. The man who condemned him to be trapped forever in his suit. The same suit since twenty four years ago. No, that wasn't his name.

His female friend called him a Demon, even singing a song about him. But a Demon was a figure who knew what to do – to do evil. He wasn't doing evil … he was just pointed, and released, killing everything that Jackson had marked to die. Demon wasn't who he was.

Some saw him as a shadow. A shadow of Jackson's past, or a shadow of his personality. Perhaps even a shadow that Jackson would hide in. That would be ironic, because then Jackson's father was a shadow.

Somehow though, it fit.

He was a shadow.

…

Twenty four years ago, a man had woken up in this suit. Abandoned by others… those with identical bodies, faces and minds. Killed after an experiment. Failed a test. Deserted. In a forest, under a starry night, in one of the few places left on Earth which nature still ruled man. He was no man… but the person who woke that day was a man.

He knew that the man who woke up wasn't himself, but someone else.

That someone was a mere baby back then, knowing only one emotion – fear. Something that kept him alive, but also made him weak. Feeling was something that he shouldn't have… this new being was not him.

He watched silently as this other being grew. From stumbling, scared child to a proud soldier. He watched as the baby got himself a name – Liam Harry Jackson. He watched as the boy demanded to be entered into the Alliance. He watched as the youth lashed out at his past in anger. He watched the teenager as he quietly confessed love to a girl. He watched as the man cried sadness. He was always there, sometimes called to do work, sometimes called to comfort the man. He was especially there when the girl died.

After the girl died, and as more of others fell, Jackson started to seek his help. To learn how to be him. To learn how not to be a human. Instead of an answer, he took over. He ruled, slaughtering everything. Company was a nuisance, allies were the weak links and "friend" was a concept he still didn't really understand. Six waking hours ago… for six hours. He ruled.

Until he met the Darkness. And the shadow could not stand. He retreated… defeated. Defeated. Defeated!

It did not seem possible.

Precious minutes went by silently as his living hour came to a close. The whisper of the helmet's timer finally ended. He breathed in and closed his eyes, reaching up to pull off his helmet. He laid back as he breathed out.

…

Jackson opened his eyes, holding firmly onto his helmet. Little blue fumes trailed out from the suit, dissipating silently into the air. He never liked doing that, but it had become a ritual that could not be skipped. There was only one year where he missed this ceremony, and that was the year when Catherine died.

The old memories bubbled to the surface, horrific, disfigured yet clear as it had just happened.

…

The sky… there was none. Only the angry grumble of engines as they entered Torfan. Catherine sat next to him, their hands held tight. This was the very last combat deployment they had promised to complete.

He was afraid to die. She too was afraid to die. At all costs, they had to survive, and be there together. He did not have any burning wishes… just the desire to be normal. He wanted to grow old and fat, live quietly after everything. He would become a father, see his son or daughter (Catherine wanted both) grow up. He would make sure that neither of them join the Alliance. He wanted a small house, somewhere near a river, far away from the world as possible. He would quit drinking eezo, sooner or later, though keeping an emergency bottle in the house. He knew he would outlive Catherine, but by then they would have spent many happy years together, greeting death as an old friend.

Right now, those desires seemed so grand, so far.

Rasped voices of the vanguards came through the radio. The sounds of gunfire became louder and louder. Their ship shuddered at a small impact, lights briefly flickering in panic. Shrieks of orbital strikes cut through the thin air. He gave bent down to whisper in her ear, then put on his helmet.

He looked intently at his omni-tool. Orders. Just one line. He would complete it, and say goodbye to this godforsaken suit forever. Underneath the glove, his hands were cold but unmoving.

It came.

"Echo squad, listen up! We'll be serving as a diversion. Make way for Romeo squad. Enter the base, then hold the entrance Beta. But don't enter the base! Got it?"

He looked across the hull, giving each soldier their due respect. They were his friends, his brothers and sisters. For many of them, he was like a father with the same age – an immovable presence ever since they joined the Alliance. A friend whenever comfort was needed, a boss whenever discipline was necessary, and a leader whenever the time called. Someone who had refused to rise up the ranks lest it disturbed the fine balance between them. Someone who they trusted to get things done. A significant someone, with a sense of pride that went both ways.

"Sir yes sir!" They shouted in unison.

"Good luck! Go, go, go!"

The drop ship opened, and they poured out. A gaping wound in the ground gave them clear access. The fort was exposed, but not without resistance.

"Stay safe." He said sincerely, to no-one in particular. He had already wished Catherine luck, and she didn't need it… or so he had hoped.

There was a blur of action, his shadow taking over his consciousness. Only when the access was clear did he realise that something was wrong. Too many people didn't respond. Dead blinks beeped sadly in his helmet. Most importantly, she didn't reply.

"Catherine? Catherine? Catherine!"

She was on the ground, triage hampered by the lack of atmosphere. Incendiary wound, without external combustion. He could feel her pain. Her life was bleeding out, their dreams burning to ashes.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. Catherine? Catherine! No. Please. Keniev! Take command! Go! How bad is it? Do you have enough Medi-Gel? Damn it!"

He knew, she knew. The medic couldn't do anything, so he busied himself with others. He never liked seeing a dying soldier.

"Liam."

"You'll be fine Catherine. We'll… we'll… we'll get you home."

"Liam."

"You will be fine. Catherine. Please. Stay with me."

"Liam. Listen to me."

He stopped, his vision hampered by tears. He squeezed her hand.

"Promise me that you will go on."

"Please don't say that Catherine. Please!"

"No. Liam. Promise me. Enjoy your life, after I go."

"Catherine! Please!"

"Promise me."

He couldn't breathe anymore, but nodded, tears streaming down his face.

"I love you."

Catherine merely smiled. The most beautiful, saddest but peaceful smile. She closed her eyes and did open them again.

…

His heart still pumped with her heart. His hand still remembered her hand. His ears still heard her voice.

Promise me…

He squeezed his eyes shut, locking in the tears that welled yet again.

I'm sorry Catherine. I don't want to keep that promise. But now… I almost have. And I'm sorry that I did keep your promise.

Sorry wasn't enough, but that was the best that he could do.

Damn you destiny. See what you have done! Are you satisfied now? To see me broken, to see me crying?

Liam curled his fist tightly, blood rushing into his arm. His body tingled, biotics summoning. He had no choice but to fight. Fight! Fight his angers, enemies, emotions, destiny, past, fears, duty, himself. Fight! Fight to keep what he was, and fight to keep what's left of the world. Fight!

With that, he stood up. To face the world once more.

…

Kisa wanted to do something special for him, and a birthday was a good excuse to do that. But humans had a different concept of birthdays compared to Asaris... Firstly, humans faced birthdays with a mixture of celebration (of their life) and dread (of soon-coming death). Secondly, humans valued each counting year more so than Asaris. Thirdly, Kisa knew that birthday wasn't quite happy for Liam.

After all, he did say that he tried to ignore his past. He had removed his birthday from all official records, and only through careful searching did she come across the date on an old recruitment report. When she found out, she had laughed his cleverness – it was pasted onto his address: LoneWolf247. The 247th Day of the year was September 4th… today was Liam's 36th birthday (Most humans would have been surprised by this age, since he looked like he was just over thirty. In truth, his age was a complicated matter, since although he was alive for 36 years, he possessed a body of a 21 year old, his socially-capable mind had existed for mere 19 years and he possessed the wisdom and knowledge of a 100 year old. Even Liam mentioned that he was sometimes confused as to how old he was.)

She had thought long and hard about this day. A surprise party? Probably not. A dinner? She didn't know what kind of food fit the situation. A quiet evening? That sounded like a good idea. Just some time off everything, together. She still had a lot to know about him, and they didn't have time to just quietly talk. This was her chance.

She thought she had prepared everything. Thessian wine was widely accepted as one of the best. Quiet music, similar to ones Liam liked to listen to when he was resting. A nice sofa on a balcony, overlooking the night in all its glory. She had stood back, liking the setup very much. Their style of romance matched – nothing fancy, but just the presence of the moment (Thea described it as "hopelessly romantic" and left her to her own preparations).

But she had forgotten the most important thing: Liam himself. Much to her horror, he had not even seen her invitation yet. She knew that Liam never forgot to check his message – even during "sleep time", he would keep vigil and get up at least once every hour to open his omni-tool (she, in no way, felt guilty for tapping into Liam's omni-tool).

She knew he wasn't in trouble. Since the incident few days ago, she had secretly installed every possible personal security program onto his omni-tool, which told her that Liam was on the Horizon without any notable movement. The program also told her that he was "Grieving", though she couldn't fathom why that might be the case.

All sorts of thoughts popped in and out of Kisa's thoughts, generally along the lines of "is he ignoring me?" She was feeling pretty depressed when Liam's answer unexpectedly arrived.

Will be there soon, Liam.