12. "Trying to Make Up for Lost Time."

Darren's POV on chapter 12 of As a White Knight on His Steed
...

Knowing that Chris was in love with me, too, simultaneously made me want to have sex with him immediately and also made me feel as though I'd be perfectly happy if I had to wait forever. Seriously. Once I understood that Chris's reluctance to leap headlong into physical intimacy didn't indicate any lack of interest in emotional intimacy, my entire sense of urgency was gone. That unsettling sense of disorientation completely disappeared. Chris was my true north.

It had taken all of the courage I possessed to say those three little words for the first time, but now that the dam had broken, I couldn't stop repeating them. Over and over and over, I felt compelled to say "I love you." And Chris always said it back, which meant that I just had to kiss him, until something about the feeling of his lips meeting mine tugged on my heartstrings so fiercely that I had to pull away and tell him I loved him again.

It was a cycle that I could have continued forever, but eventually Chris held up a finger to cut off one of my declarations. "Let me guess? You love me, right?" he asked.

I nodded, grinning back so widely that my face hurt.

"So I've heard," Chris told me, in a tone that sounded equal parts fond and exasperated. "Over and over. And so I've said back. Over and over. And it's true. But come on, Dare. When you say something too many times, the words stop having any meaning. It's like leaving a song on constant repeat, until it becomes just background noise."

"You're right," I agreed sheepishly. "I guess I was just trying to make up for lost time."

"Darren, there's no such thing as lost time. Everything that we've said, and everything that we've done, and everything that we've been through, has brought us to where we are right now. And where we are right now is exactly where I want to be. So seriously, shut up and kiss me."

Now, who was I to argue with that?

Later that evening, after Chris had finished reading the latest chapter of Harry Potter, he clicked off the light and slowly eased his legs out from under my head before lying down behind me and wrapping me in his arms.

I hummed contentedly and shifted closer to him, but I was a little surprised by this turn of events. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Cuddling."

"What happened to your 'no cuddling now that it means something' rule?"

"I'm breaking it."

"What about being worried that cuddling could lead to other things?"

"Darren, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

"What does that mean?"

"Just go with it, Darren. Go to sleep."

"Wait – are you serious? Are you really going to let me sleep in your bed?"

"If you stop giving me the third degree. Yes."

I mimed locking my lips and throwing away the key. I could feel Chris nuzzling into my curls before planting a kiss on the back of my neck.

"I love you," he murmured.

I was afraid to break the spell by speaking, but I squeezed his hand where it was lying pressed against my heart. My body melted back into his, the feeling at once familiar and intoxicatingly new. This is where I belong, I thought, as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I woke up completely refreshed. I couldn't believe how well I'd slept. Lying in Chris's arms felt so right, but I had to pee, so I slipped out of his embrace and went to the bathroom.

I flung the curtains open to let the sun stream in. Catching my reflection in the mirror, I thought this is what Chris Colfer's boyfriend looks like first thing in the morning… this is the face of someone who got to wake up next to Chris… this is the lucky guy who Chris is in love with!

The day (my whole life, really) was filled with promise. A little impromptu song and dance came bursting out of me as I left the bathroom and caught sight of Chris, still adorably lying in bed.

"Ugh," he groaned, opening bleary eyes. "How can you be so chipper at this ungodly hour?"

"Ungodly hour? Chris, it's eight o'clock! We totally slept in. Now hurry up and get dressed. It's a beautiful day!"

Chris slowly dragged himself out of bed. "Dare," he said, "I really love you. But you've gotta sleep in your own bunk from now on."

End Notes: Thanks so much for all of your reviews. They make me gleeful! ;D