14. What Counts as Losing Your Virginity?

Darren's POV on the beginning of Chapter 14 of As a White Knight on His Steed

...

I woke up on Sunday morning missing Chris's warmth. I blinked my eyes open to find him smiling down at me.

"Where'd you go?" I asked sleepily.

"I needed to pee. And I wanted to brush my teeth."

"Hmm, good idea."

When I returned from the bathroom, I slid back into bed beside Chris, kissing him on the tip of his nose. "Good morning."

"Mmm. Good morning."

"What did you want to do today?" I asked. "If it heats up, I thought it might be fun to ride out to the pond for a swim."

"I'm not thinking that far ahead," Chris replied with a gleam in his eye. "Now that I've got you back in my bed, and with fresh breath and everything, I'm in no hurry to get up."

"No argument here," I said, snuggling closer.

An hour later, we were still in bed, trading lazy kisses. I would have been perfectly content to stay there all day, doing exactly what we were doing. Eventually, though, Chris ended up on top of me, and began rocking his hips down against mine. It felt amazing, but I was worried that he was trying to push himself into something he thought I wanted.

I pulled away from our kiss, but before I could say anything, Chris reassured me. "It's okay. I'm ready for this. And I know that, if at any point I feel like it's too much, I can just tell you and we'll stop. So don't worry, okay?"

"Okay."

Chris brought our lips back together. I smiled into the kiss, feeling his answering grin. As Chris gently sucked on my lower lip, I moaned, bringing one hand to his ass, and shifting slightly so that I could pull our hips more tightly together. Chris thrust down, and I arched up to meet him.

It felt incredible, Chris's hard length against my own. Knowing that he was as turned on as I was magnified every sensation, until I felt ready to burst with the pleasure of it all. And then I did. And Chris was right there with me, crying out and stiffening and shuddering in my arms.

I barely had time to process what had happened before Chris collapsed on top of me, laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I can't believe we just did that."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, it just struck me as funny."

I looked at him, then burst out laughing, too. I still didn't know what was so funny, but I was overflowing with joy, and laughter seemed as good a way as any to let it spill out.

Soon Chris and I were rolling around together on the bed, giggling uncontrollably. The lyrics to an old Elton John song popped into my head: "Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers…"

But this felt nothing like the blues. I was over-the-rainbow in love, and I had all the time in the world to spend with Chris.

An hour later, we were both still feeling a little giddy as we stood in the empty dining hall. "Looks like we missed breakfast," I observed cheerfully. "Want me to make you some French toast?"

"That sounds great."

Chris followed me into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, watching as I gathered the ingredients. Once I started cooking, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder as I flipped the French toast.

"You're really good at that," he murmured, pressing a kiss to my neck.

"Someone's feeling friendly this morning," drawled Robert's voice from behind us.

"I just really like French toast," Chris said, dropping his arms and taking a step backwards. He was obviously trying to sound casual, but failing miserably.

"I can make more, if you're hungry," I told Robert, figuring food would be a good distraction and/or bribe.

"No, that's okay, I just came in to grab a snack to take out on the trail," he said, taking a couple of apples out of the bowl on the counter and giving us a knowing look before heading back out of the kitchen.

"Do you think he suspects?" I asked.

"He'd have to be blind not to. Do you think he'll say anything?"

"I don't know, and right now, I don't care. Breakfast is served!"

After breakfast, we made ourselves a picnic lunch. It was a little too cool to go swimming, so we saddled up our horses and headed out on a sunny trail along the ridge. When we reached a spot with a lovely view out over the canyon, we stopped to eat.

After we'd been munching in companionable silence for a few minutes, Chris turned to me and asked, "What do you think counts as losing your virginity?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, for straight guys it's the whole penis-in-vagina thing that they teach you about in health class. But if you're gay, there's obviously no vagina involved."

I snorted. "Obviously."

"So, what counts as sex? Do blowjobs count? Or does it have to be anal sex? Or is it just any time two people have an orgasm together, or what?"

I considered his question for a moment. Because, for me, that morning totally counted as sex – the most mind-blowing sex I'd ever had. But I also planned on having even more mind-blowing sex with Chris in the future. I could already picture dozens of things I'd love to try, and I was sure that there were dozens more that I hadn't even thought of yet.

So, on the one hand, what had happened between us that morning felt hugely significant, and on the other hand, it didn't seem like a more cut-and-dried dividing line than any of our other firsts: the first time we kissed, the first time I told him I loved him, the first time he let me spend the night in his bed… Every first was special, and there were so many more first-times I wanted to share with him.

I finally came to a conclusion. "I think everything counts."

"So, does that mean we just lost our virginities together this morning?"

"Well, I guess you get to define that for yourself. For me, I'd say yes, I feel like I lost my virginity with you this morning. But that's just one kind of virginity."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I feel like any time two people experience something together that they've never done before, then they're losing their virginity to each other."

"So then every time we try something new, we lose our virginity all over again?"

"Yeah. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"I don't know," Chris teased. "I wouldn't want you to think I'm easy."

Never one to pass up a possible song cue, I broke into the chorus of "Easy Like Sunday Morning."

Chris pretended to roll his eyes, then bumped our shoulders together and joined in.

End Notes: Darren's internal jukebox: "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" by Elton John, and "Easy Like Sunday Morning" by Lionel Richie
You may have noticed that I didn't follow up on what Robert saw in the kitchen. I've got some ideas about how I want to work that into the next chapter, along with some new (and fun for all of you Starkids out there) material. So stay tuned. :D