Author's Note:

Hi again! Anyway, this story takes place in Hawke's past before Kirkwall again. After this one I'll probably start writing more that actually take place during the game, but I had to wait to finish this one, because it's been nagging at me... This story features more characters that I think you'll recognize, so hopefully it'll be a fun story for you guys to read :p I always thought Hawke was an incredibly empathetic person, and I tried to convey that in this story.

To those of you who have favorited this or added it to your story alerts, thank you for reading! Please drop a review every now and then though, so I don't feel so lonely? :D

Hey there! I'm back again! Wonderful story from Bethany last chapter, don't you think?

So in this story, I described the time I actually met the Warden, Arianna Cousland. I met her and her companions when they stopped in Lothering on their way to save the world. It was one of the few times I dueled someone who was my equal... (Although I was going easy on her- I didn't want to hurt the Warden!)

It was a short encounter, but very interesting. I think we both learned a lot. The Warden is definitely a curious woman... I've only ever seen her the one time, although I've seen Alistair once more since then (after he became King). I hope someday maybe I'll get to meet such a courageous woman again.

Anyway, please enjoy!

-Hawke

The Warden

Hawke strode through Lothering, one hand on a dagger as her gaze warily swept the surrounding area. The atmosphere, compared to two weeks ago, was very taught and dismal, especially with the refugees crowding at the outskirts of the town. It felt as if the whole town held its breath, waiting for the pin to drop and shatter the whole world.

It was several days after the failed battle of Ostagar and the death of King Cailan. The few lucky survivors, like Hawke herself and Carver, had returned home and spread the news dully. It was a total shock to everyone, as they had expected the battle to be an instant success. The worst part, though, was the dawning realization that the darkspawn were heading north- to Lothering.

Hawke paused a moment, listening to the faint cries coming from the refugee camp, the sounds of little kids who just wanted to go back home. Her face was drawn with stress and exhaustion, yet she was unable to stand still. Her bright blue eyes shone with determination as she resumed her purposeful stride. Even Fang, bounding at her side, was solemn.

As they padded over to the single jackass merchant in town, Hawke reflected on the expressions on everyone's faces when she and Carver had told their grim story. Bethany in particular had been shocked by the tale of Loghain's betrayal, and the death of so many at the hands of the darkspawn. The look of something akin to hero worship Bethany gave her sister afterward was fairly annoying, but Hawke understood what it meant- one of those bodies on that battlefield could have been mine.

She wondered who else had survived, if anyone. She and Carver had gathered as many other soldiers as they could once they realized what had happened, but several had stoutly refused to leave the battlefield, insisting that Loghain was just held up. Proud idiots, the lot of them, Hawke thought, grief darkening her expression and her eyes. Fang seemed to sense it, and he whimpered piteously. They had ended up convincing only four others to leave the battlefield with them, and one of them had died from the darkspawn poisoning. They did, however, manage to meet up with a red-haired warrior whose name Hawke had forgotten- something that started with an 'A', maybe? She was terrible at names. Anyway, the red-headed woman had twice as many soldiers with her, and they'd all managed to make it back to Lothering. Besides them, though, Lothering had seen precious few survivors, and they were the closest town to Ostagar that wasn't ravaged by darkspawn- yet.

Suddenly a shout rang through the air, followed by the clanging sound of a sword on armor. Hawke started and whirled around. She dropped into a crouch and whipped her daggers out, her eyes narrowing as adrenaline pumped through her veins. She was startled to see someone attacking those damn bandits that guarded the entrance to the town- she could never seem to find them, or if she could, take them on by herself... She sighed, half-amused and half-irritated with her jumpy reflexes.

She spotted a flash of unnatural violet light, and was momentarily confused- Bethany? She realized after a moment that Bethany could really only do elemental and some healing magic, so it couldn't be her sister. Another apostate, maybe? The spell cast a cloud of smoke that cloaked the fighters so she couldn't see them anymore. She waited impatiently for the smoke to clear; the sounds of more hacking and slashing of swords were still audible, along with that of a growling dog. When it did finally clear, she was surprised to see the bandits' corpses littering the ground, with three humans standing over them and sheathing their weapons and a Mabari hound sitting beside them. She slipped back into the shadows of a nearby tool shed so she could watch and remain hidden.

The first human she noticed looked to be in charge. She (or, at least, it looked like a woman from this angle because of the slim figure) strode forward purposefully to kneel next to the bandit's bodies and loot them for gold or any other useful things. She had expensive-looking leather armor, although it was well-worn from travel and fighting. The hilts of two daggers poked out of sheaths on her hips.

A glint of metal caught her eye next, and Hawke's gaze swept over to an armor-clad, muscular figure. He carried a heavy-looking shield on his left arm and a fairly big sword in his right hand. As she watched, he yanked off his helmet to reveal a vaguely familiar face and fairly short blond hair. Even from this distance she could see his expressive brown eyes narrow in irritation at a few whispered words from their other companion. He opened his mouth, readying a retort.

The other woman was strange, to say the least. She had a sharp, mocking expression and honey-gold eyes. Hawke was startled to recognize a magic staff in her hands. Ah, so that's the apostate... She wore few clothes, but the outfit covered the important parts, at least. Her hair was jet black and pinned up. She had a slightly wild, independent look to her features.

The Mabari hound bounced around next to the man. It was sleeker, larger, and obviously more well-bred than her own Fang. It definitely looked more ferocious because of the war paint that darkened its flanks.

Fang, standing at her side, uttered a low growl, obviously scenting the other Mabari. Hawke absently scratched his ear, frowning at the strangers. She had the vaguest sense that she had seen the man before, as well as the Mabari. She waited impatiently to see the other woman's face.

Finally, the leather-clad woman straightened, and she recoiled in shock as the face instantly clicked with a memory.

The new Warden!

Hawke hadn't seen her since Ostagar, and even then, she'd caught only brief glimpses. She looked older, tired and more experienced but still fiercely determined, a character trait that Hawke had noticed the first time she laid eyes on the Warden. She now recognized the man with the shield to be Alistair, another Warden. How many Wardens actually survived? She doubted very much that any had, besides these two; she'd seen most of them slaughtered before her very eyes, and there weren't many to begin with.

Hawke watched even more intently now, determined to read as much of this woman as she could from her expression. The Warden's face was a proud, noble one- she recalled that the woman was the youngest child of Teryn Cousland.

Who was now dead, killed by Arl Howe's men according to this woman's own account.

Hawke noticed a lot in that first, brief glimpse of the Warden's face. She saw a mysterious, slightly amused and sarcastic quirk to her lips and eyebrows. She saw the memory of a rather stiff noble life in her posture, almost ramrod straight with her shoulders drawn back proudly. She saw a stern glare as the Warden teasingly scolded the golden-eyed woman for making fun of Alistair, who was quickly turning a light shade of pink. She saw rough days in the recent past in her messy bronze-colored hair and slightly sunburned cheeks. She saw long days of training in the way her weight shifted and she way she held her daggers. But she learned the most from her eyes.

The Warden's eyes were a mesmerizing emerald green color, almost as bright as Hawke's own icy gaze- to most anyone else, her expression was reserved and nigh unreadable, but Hawke recognized the expressions, as she often saw the same look in her own mirror. Amusement and rebuke warred as the dominant emotion in the Warden's slightly narrowed gaze, which sparkled with intelligence and wisdom beyond her years. But behind that glittering mask of emotions, Hawke saw a deep, clear pool of intense sadness and grief. She looked very... tense, as if she was under a lot of pressure- as if the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. Hidden behind even that, though, she observed a blazing flame burning for revenge, waiting for the right time to surface while slowly licking away at her insides.

But there was something else. Her sharp expression softened when it rested on Alistair, and her eyes glowed with a light that Hawke was almost unable to recognize, she had seen so rarely. From even this distance, she could see the strong bond of friendship that linked the Warden and Alistair. I suppose getting cornered in a tower by darkspawn does that to you. She was almost jealous. Almost.

All that information she gleaned from just a brief glimpse of the Warden's face.

Hawke slipped into a crouch, burying her fingers in Fang's fur as she processed the information with a rather glazed expression. The Warden turned away again, hiding her face from Hawke's view.

She recalled that the Warden's family had all been killed with Arl Howe's invasion of their estate in Highever. That could explain at least some of the grief. She guessed that the death of all the other Wardens in Ferelden was the source of her tension. It must be a terrible burden, Hawke concluded sadly, to be one of the very few remaining Grey Wardens in the country. She guessed that the female Warden and Alistair were the only two free Grey Wardens left- any others were either traitors or sitting in the Regent Loghain's dungeons right now. And she was positive that the golden-eyed woman was not a Warden.

Hawke mused over that with half her mind, focusing the other half on watching the Warden's movements. Lady Cousland- for Hawke couldn't remember her first name- had settled the argument and was now leading her companions into Lothering. She rose slowly to her feet. Fang jumped up as well, his ears pricking suspiciously.

Hawke watched the Warden approach the village- and her hiding place. Her wariness increased with every step the Warden took. Fang sensed her tension and growled deep in his throat, causing Hawke to scowl disapprovingly at him, but it was too late. The Warden's Mabari seemed to hear, for he stopped in his tracks and drew his lips back into a frightening snarl.

"What is it, boy?" Alistair asked, peering down at the dog, concern pulling his brows together.

"He's not going to answer you," pointed out the other woman, rolling her golden eyes mockingly. "He heard something, obviously. I swear, even with the dog you're still the dumbest one here..."

"Hey!" Alistair protested loudly, rounding on her and scowling with annoyance. The golden-eyed woman opened her mouth to retort.

Suddenly Hawke realized that the Warden wasn't standing next to them anymore. Shit.

"Don't move," a voice growled in her ear. As disobedient as Hawke was, naturally she did the opposite. She hissed in annoyance and struggled hard. She broke free, her eyes widening in slight surprise at her success, and whirled away, drawing her daggers with one fluid movement as she spun to face her attacker. Emerald met sapphire as their gazes locked. The Warden also held a pair of daggers, she noted, much nicer-looking than her own, and definitely sharper. They exchanged wary glances, sizing each other up. Alistair and the golden-eyed woman were surprisingly silent, watching the Warden with respect and Hawke with amused pity. Rage thrummed through her veins as she realized that the Warden had planned this. She knew Hawke had been watching them. Dammit.

Hawke struck first. She danced forward, moving to graze the Warden across the chest with her dagger, but she purposefully held back a little, wanting to learn the other woman's fighting style. The Warden parried and struck back with surprising speed. Hawke sidestepped, and they exchanged a flurry of blows. Both women moved swiftly and gracefully, dancing back and forth in a deadly game of flashing daggers, but neither was able to touch the other. Hawke sensed that the Warden was also holding back, and she gritted her teeth at the realization that Cousland was playing with her. She dodged another attack and leaped away from the other woman. She slipped her daggers back into their sheaths and held up her hands, grimacing, although she couldn't help but feel a grudging respect for the other woman. It had been a long time since she'd met someone her equal in dueling.

"Alright, you win," she sighed, stepping back and brushing a sweaty lock of hair off her face. She wasn't tired yet, not really, but she wasn't about to keep that up just for Lady Cousland's amusement, not when the darkspawn could spring up and attack them any time. It scraped roughly against her pride, though.

"I thought so." The Warden smirked slightly and lifted an eyebrow as she lowered her own daggers. The self-satisfied sneer fell from her face and she frowned down at Hawke. "Why were you watching us?" Hawke grimaced, fingering the hilts of her daggers as she pondered her answer; a wrong one could likely get her killed. From her periphery, she watched the golden-eyed woman and Alistair close in on them. On her.

"I saw you approaching, and I was curious... and a little suspicious," Hawke admitted, scowling at the ground. "And then I recognized your face, and I wanted to know, 'Why has the Warden, Lady Cousland, graced this small town with her presence?'" She lifted her gaze just in time to see Cousland's physical response to her remark. The Warden reacted in undisguised surprise, her eyes widening and her mouth opening slightly. The somewhat condescending shadow on her expression had fallen, to Hawke's relief.

"How do you know who I am?" she asked. Her voice was clear and sharp, that of one who wasn't used to being disobeyed. It also held a note of uncertainty, though.

"I saw you at Ostagar," Hawke replied, sadness and grief darkening her voice and her expression.

"I didn't know anybody had survived but us," the Warden remarked, her eyes still wide.

"How did you escape the darkspawn?" Alistair asked, his gaze narrowing with suspicion. He looked... distressed. His face was a little pinched, and he was frowning. He lost somebody close to him in the battle, Hawke guessed.

"When we realized what Loghain had done, my brother and I gathered as many soldiers as we could and sprinted our asses off to get back here. Most of them didn't make it." Hawke sighed, grimacing. She was aware that they were still watching her suspiciously, but she forced herself to stay relaxed and hopefully she could avoid being attacked again... "How did you survive? I thought all the Grey Wardens were killed."

"We were sent to light the signal for Loghain." The Warden spat his name with undisguised hatred. "We were one of the lucky ones."

"I don't believe you," the apostate woman declared, her golden eyes flashing. She turned to Cousland. "This woman is probably a spy for that traitor Loghain!"

"Why would I spy for Loghain?" spat Hawke, disgusted. "He left all of us in Cailan's army to die, including the king, and then he blamed it on the Grey Wardens! I have no more liking for this man than you do."

"Back down, Morrigan," the Warden snapped. She turned to Hawke, eying her appraisingly. "He blamed the king's death on the Wardens?"

"He claims that it's the Wardens' fault King Cailan died," Hawke answered with a fierce scowl. "I was there. I saw what happened; it's not true."

"I see." The Warden frowned with irritation, but she didn't look at all surprised. "What's your name?"

"Hawke." She paused a moment before speaking her first name. "Rathina Hawke. But you can just call me Hawke."

"Hawke," the Warden mused. "A strong name." She eyed Hawke, waiting for her reaction.

"If I had a sovereign for every time someone told me that..." Hawke bit back a sigh of relief at the turn the conversation had taken. The ability to talk herself out of most any situation was definitely a valuable one... The Warden laughed.

"It's true, nevertheless. Arianna Cousland, at your service, but please just call me Arianna. This is Alistair-" Hawke nodded to Alistair, who nodded in response- "my Mabari, Fluffy, and Morrigan." Morrigan scowled disapprovingly at Hawke, who just shrugged. She hesitated, then took a step forward and lowered her voice.

"You ought to be careful in Lothering," she warned. "There are a lot of templars crawling around here. Way too many, if you ask me..."

"I don't need advice from you," Morrigan snapped, her gold eyes hardening.

"I'm just trying to help. I don't like the Circle any more than you do," Hawke answered uneasily, her gaze dropping briefly to the ground. Arianna lifted a curious eyebrow, and Hawke winced inwardly, cursing at her momentary lack of composure. She couldn't afford to let it slip; the Warden was most definitely not an idiot. Morrigan just rolled her eyes and turned to Arianna.

"Can we quit exchanging pleasantries with the locals? We have a country to save," she growled.

"Oh, right." Arianna sighed dramatically, glancing at Hawke with slumping shoulders and apology in her gaze. "It was nice meeting you, Hawke," she said, her eyes gleaming momentarily.

"And you. Ah, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine meeting a real live Warden!" she laughed, smirking at Arianna, who grinned in reply. "Perhaps we shall duel again someday?" she added, a little hopefully.

"Perhaps," Arianna acknowledged with a chuckle. "I don't think I will forget you, Hawke."

"I just have that kind of personality. Totally unforgettable." Hawke shrugged and leered. Arianna laughed again. She turned to leave.

"Wait." Alistair hesitated. He watched Hawke with curious eyes. "Why don't you come with us?"

"To kill an Archdemon, you mean? That's totally out of my league." Hawke's eyes were wide with surprise and dubiousness. Arianna was watching her with a shrewd gaze; she knew the answer, saw it in Hawke's eyes, she was sure. "I can't," Hawke admitted. "I have other... obligations." That was true- she had her family to take care of- but she also had an intense feeling- more like an urge- that her destiny was not to help the Warden. Considering this, she was hit with a dawning realization that she probably wouldn't be in Ferelden much longer, and she doubted if she would return any time soon. Alistair arched an eyebrow.

"More important than saving your country?" he asked. "You realize that the darkspawn will most likely come here next, right?"

"I'm aware of that," Hawke answered sourly.

"What if we invoke the Rite of Conscription?" he asked, his eyebrows still raised.

"You haven't the resources to force me to go through the Joining," she pointed out. "Besides, if you did, I think you'd find me most... disagreeable."

"Alistair, leave it," Arianna intervened softly, placing her hand on his arm for a fleeting moment before pulling it away. "It's not her destiny to come with us. She belongs somewhere else." Hawke blinked in surprise. Maybe she underestimated the Warden before. It seemed that she could read people almost as well as Hawke herself, unless she was an exceptionally good guesser. "Until next time, Hawke," she added. Alistair was watching her curiously, but he looked a little admiring, as well. Like a puppy.

"Take care," Hawke answered with a nod. Arianna turned and led her gang away, into the village and toward the tavern.

Hawke's mind churned with everything the Warden had said, but most especially what she'd left unsaid. She stood there for several moments, rooted into place by her thoughts. Then everything clicked into place, and she knew what to do. There was a faint roaring in her ears as she turned and darted to the Chantry. She headed immediately to the garden. It was empty, except for one red-headed Sister who knelt over a rose bush.

"Leliana!" Hawke called, her gaze glowing with excitement. She bounded impatiently on her heels.

"Rathina!" Leliana exclaimed, jumping to her feet, startled. "Can I help you?"

"No. It's the other way around, actually. You want to go on an adventure, right? Here's your chance." Hawke's eyes glittered. "I just ran into the Warden on her way into Lothering. They're headed to the tavern now."

"Loghain's soldiers are there," Leliana pointed out, but Rathina's euphoria was spreading, and her gaze widened with the exciting implications as she realized her friend's plan. They knew each other well, Hawke reflected.

"I know," Hawke answered, still jumping up and down with a wide grin. Leliana hesitated, conflict burning in her gaze. "Go on!" Hawke urged. "You can't ignore your calling! Go with her, and save Ferelden!"

"You're right." Leliana smiled, a mischievous, adventurous smile that Hawke had seen only rarely. "Thank you, Rathina." Hawke stopped bouncing on her heels and hesitated, her smile a little sad now. Ah, she was about to lose a very good friend, but her feelings weren't important to the rest of Ferelden, which was what Leliana fought for.

"Good bye, Leli, and good luck!" she responded, stepping forward and hugging her friend tightly. She had a nagging feeling they wouldn't see each other again for a while, and when they did, everything would be different. Her heart lurched with excitement and anticipation.

"Take care, Rathina," Leliana answered, her tone a little quieter. She hesitated before kissing Hawke gently on the cheek. "I shall see you again, I swear it!" she added as she pulled away and started for the tavern.

"Keep the Warden safe!" Hawke called after her teasingly. Leliana just waved.

Hawke turned and left the Chantry courtyard. She frowned as the roaring in her ears grew louder, into a familiar "ruk-ruk" sound. "Ah- damn!" she groaned. She glanced toward the Wilds, and sure enough, she saw the telltale shadows darting through the trees. She sprinted for her house.

"Darkspawn!"