17. "Not Alone"

Darren's POV on chapter 18 of As a White Knight on His Steed
...

Have I mentioned (once, or twice, or twenty times) how everything was more fun when Chris was around? Well, laundry was no exception. There was something about the domesticity of it that I really loved. It felt so grown up, one minute, and then like we were little kids playing house the next.

Once the wash cycle was done, I tossed our clothes in the dryer, then fumbled with the controls, wondering once again about my mom's strange reluctance to get rid of that old relic and replace it with something that actually worked.

"Which setting should we choose," I asked Chris, "damp or burnt?"

Chris arched one eyebrow at me. "I take it that dryer's trouble, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. I don't want to see you hanging out with this dryer. This is a bad, bad dryer!"

Chris snorted. "Oh, I see. So, has it been a bad influence on you, then? Is that where you learned how to be too hot for your own good?"

"You know it!" I teased back, wiggling my butt at him as I turned the dryer on.

Chris slapped my ass playfully, then stepped forward and pressed me against the now vibrating dryer. Oh. My. God. Why had I never thought to try that? I gasped, torn between leaning into the dryer and wriggling back against my boyfriend, who'd apparently been possessed by some sort of flirty sex-monster.

Chris made the decision for me, though, stepping back and spinning me around to face him. "Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the laundry room. "If you spend any more time with that dryer, I'm going to get jealous."

Well, I wasn't too reluctant to be dragged off to the living room, especially since once we got there we ended up making out on the sofa. Which was totally awesome, until my parents showed up. And even that was totally awesome, 'cause of course I'd been right about them loving Chris.

Once we got past the "Chris being nervous about meeting my parents" part, though, I started to feel nervous about what I had planned for later that night. 'Cause I'd been working on a song for Chris, and I was finally going to sing it for him.

I'd been writing songs pretty much all my life, starting with little ditties when I was a kid, along the lines of:

Jingle bells, the farmer tells

Dirty jokes all day –

Like "The pig fell in the mud

When the chicken laid an egg!"

But I'd never written a song for someone before. It began kind of accidentally, like most of my songs, and very tongue-in-cheek, also like most of my songs. As I was taking a shower one evening, my usual stream-of-consciousness singing (I'm using the soap… Now I'm using the shampooooooo…) morphed into:

I would kick a goal for Christopher Colfer,

I would dig a hole for Christopher Colfer,

I would pay a toll for Christopher Colfer,

I would rock and roll for Christopher Colfer,

I'd dance on a pole for Christopher Colfer,

Yes, I would sell my soul for Christopher Colfer...

Not Grammy material, obviously, but it had a catchy tune, and it quickly became my go-to shower song.

But then something Chris said to me one day stuck in my head and developed its own melody, and suddenly the song I was working on was serious. Which was kind of scary. 'Cause all kidding aside, music to me is the sound of meaning, it's the embodiment of things you can't put into words. And yet I had put my feelings – or at least, some of my feelings – about Chris into words.

So that night, at Chuck's gig, I only had half of my attention focused on how fantastic my big brother's band sounded, while the other half of me was running through the song I'd written in my head, praying I wouldn't forget the lyrics.

As soon as the rest of the Freelance Whale took a break, Chuck invited me to come up and sing with him, like I knew he would, and my parents made a big deal of encouraging me to go for it, like they always do. I love how proud of both of us they always are, but sometimes they do go a little overboard. Before I left the table, I whispered to Chris, "If you hear any screaming girls… it's probably my father."

He laughed and gave me a little push toward the stage.

Chuck and I launched into "New Morning," which we'd been singing together since we were kids. Harmonizing with him is one of my most favorite things in the entire world, and it was just what I needed to steady my nerves.

Once the song ended, and the applause died away, I whispered, "Is it okay if I do a solo number?"

Chuck nodded, and told the audience, "Before the Freelance Whales come back on, I'm going to turn the stage over to Darren for one more song."

I sat down at the keyboard, thinking this is going to be the most crazy, romantic thing I've ever done in my life! This is going to be amazing! We're gonna run off and love each other forever and ever until we DIE! I took a deep breath and announced, "This is a song I wrote for my boyfriend, Chris. It's called 'Not Alone.'"

And then I just sang my heart out.

I've been alone

Surrounded by darkness

And I've seen how heartless

The world can be

And I've seen you crying

You felt like it's hopeless

I'll always do my best

To make you see

Baby, you're not alone

Cause you're here with me

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down

Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you

And you know it's true

It don't matter what'll come to be

Our love is all we need to make it through

Now I know it ain't easy

But it ain't hard trying

Every time I see you smiling

And I feel you so close to me

And you tell me

Baby, you're not alone

Cause you're here with me

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down

Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you

And you know it's true

It don't matter what'll come to be

Our love is all we need to make it through

I still have trouble

I trip and stumble

Trying to make sense of things sometimes

I look for reasons

But I don't need 'em

All I need is to look in your eyes

And I realize

Baby I'm not alone

Cause you're here with me

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down

Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you

And you know it's true

It don't matter what'll come to be

Our love is all we need to make it through

As the last note faded away, I rose and moved toward Chris. He rushed to meet me halfway, flinging his arms around me. That hug was like all kinds of love explosions.

Leaning his head on my shoulder, Chris whispered, "I'm so glad I'm not alone."

End Notes: Darren's warning about the dryer: youtube dot com / watch?v = pRubvckRDnU&feature = youtu dot be&t=10s
Darren's comment about his dad screaming like a fangirl: youtube dot com / watch?v = UscnS1LHbg8&feature = youtu dot be&t=1m54s
Did you recognize any other Darren quotes? There are at least 5 more that I snuck in here (not counting "totally awesome," which I've had him use in nearly every chapter). Whoever finds the most wins! (But no fair waiting until other people review and then copying their answers.) ;D