Fenris found himself standing next to Isabela in the elf woman Arianni's house. Hawke was speaking quietly with Keeper Marethari, and Anders was eavesdropping indiscreetly. He inched a little closer to the pair, and she turned and leveled a glare at him; he instantly backed away, looking for all the world like a dog that had been scolded for stealing food from the dinner table. With that image in mind, Fenris turned away from them, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth.
"What are you smiling at?" the pirate snickered, raising an eyebrow.
"A dog," he answered vaguely, glancing at Hawke out of the corner of his eye.
"Does this dog have a sexy ass?" she asked with a smirk. He was saved the necessity of answering as Hawke strode over to them, looking troubled. Her eyebrows were pulled together, and she chewed her lip in an uncertain sort of way.
"We should be able to ward off the demon," Anders spoke up softly. "Extreme measures won't be necessary."
"Shut up, Anders." She reached up a hand and brushed a lock of hair out of her face, the way she did when she was nervous. Fenris lifted an eyebrow. She saw and smiled, somewhat apologetically. Anders scowled, looking a little offended. She ignored him. "Keeper Marethari is preparing the ritual. Arianni has cots for us, and sleeping potions- we have to be asleep to enter the Fade." Fenris grimaced in distaste but he nodded his acquiescence. Marethari walked over and gave them a briefing, similar to the one they'd received from Anders the night before, so he didn't really pay attention.
Within minutes, they were lying down on the cots and closing their eyes.
Hawke's eyes flew open. They stood in a marble hall, columns lining the sides. Familiar-looking statues were built against the columns.
"Slaves," she whispered, horrified.
"The Gallows," Fenris agreed quietly. Then she heard a deep voice behind her- she started and spun around, reaching for her daggers, before she realized that the voice emanated from Anders.
"I had not thought to return to the Fade in such a way," he commented. Glowing blue lines rippled along his skin, and his eyes gleamed the same blue color. She took an involuntary step back. The somewhat menacing voice went on. "It is good to feel the breath of the Fade again, not the empty air of your world."
"Does this happen every time you're in the Fade?" she asked dryly, hiding her surprise well. She'd assumed that Justice would take a separate form once they were in the Fade...
"I am Justice. Anders has told you of me." Justice-Anders sounded annoyed. Hawke couldn't exactly blame him.
"Ah, indeed. A pleasure," she answered blithely. Justice-Anders wisely chose not to retort to her comment and said instead, "Come, I sense the boy's mind straining. We do not have much time. I will lead the way, if you do not mind."
Hawke bit back her annoyance and took a step back, giving Justice-Anders a curt nod to take point. He moved ahead, stepping confidently with shoulders back and chin held high, much unlike the normal Anders. She exchanged an irritated scowl with Fenris and followed the spirit.
He led them into a sort of courtyard, with stairs on either side leading to other rooms. They descended the set of stairs in the middle to find a demon waiting for them. Ah, shit. Hawke sighed inwardly and stepped forward to confront it. Justice-Anders glowed menacingly.
"A demon of sloth. It exists to make men forget their purpose and their pride. Be wary of it," he cautioned. You don't have to tell me twice, she thought with another inward sigh. Spirits are so annoying.
"Call me Torpor," the sloth demon told her. Its tone was enticingly silky, a low hiss. She shuddered as its voice slid over her ears. "I have a proposition that might interest you." She didn't even bother to consider it.
"I'm sorry, I don't deal with demons," she snapped. "I will not give in to your temptations!"
"Have it your way," it hissed. She was already moving. Two other Shades joined it, but Hawke and her companions made short work of all three of them. She sheathed her daggers when they were finished and glanced around warily.
"There are no more demons in the immediate area," Justice-Anders told her unnecessarily.
"You don't say," she answered dryly. "Which one first?" She gestured to the doors on either side.
"I like that one," Isabela suggested, gesturing to the one on their left. Hawke shrugged and strode up to it. She swung the door open, and her form shimmered and changed as she stepped into the room. She glanced down and saw a skirt- she shivered inwardly- and sandals that didn't belong to her, but they looked somewhat familiar. She heard voices, and looking up again, she saw the lad Feynriel as a young boy sitting behind a desk with a man beside him. Feynriel called him Father, mentioned something about visiting Antiva, and turned to look at Hawke with wide, pleading eyes. Oh, he sees me as Arianni, she realized. How strange. She disliked the feeling of inhabiting someone else's body, but she toyed with the idea of messing around a bit before firmly reminding herself that she had a mission to accomplish.
"Don't trust your father- he never wanted anything to do with you," she reminded him softly. She zoned out a bit while the father spoke again, guessing that he was the demon. No need to listen to its silky, poisonous words and let it change her mind.
"But... why can't I remember you?" Feynriel asked, sounding confused and frustrated.
"This is a trick, Feynriel. He wants something from you," she said, impatience growing. Feynriel started to realize something was up and he protested. The demon growled and changed forms, becoming a desire demon. Hawke suppressed the urge to glance back to make sure that Fenris wasn't staring mindlessly at the demon's figure, glowering instead at the demon. She felt her own form change back, and she was momentarily relieved to be herself again. Feynriel screamed girlishly and ran away.
"You! You turned him against me," the demon complained, scowling at Hawke, who shrugged.
"Oh, dear. I was trying to help, honestly," Hawke retorted.
"Well, take away my pets and I'll take away yours," the demon purred. To Hawke's complete and utter horror, she turned to Isabela. "Your lovely pirate queen here misses the open seas. What say you to a brand new, beautiful ship, and a hundred lads to answer to your every whim?"
"Mmm..." Isabela wasn't resisting the temptation. Hawke watched her face transform, the wariness disappearing and her eyes glittering with the thought of a new ship of her own. With the temptation.
"Should I turn now to allow you to stab me in the back, or would you rather it be a surprise?" she found herself uttering. Her eyes widened and she inhaled sharply at her own wit. Me and my big mouth. Dread coursed through her as Isabela smiled cunningly.
"Aren't you the sweetest," the pirate purred in a fashion not unlike the desire demon's from just a moment earlier. "I do like big boats, I cannot lie."
"Dammit, Isabela!" Hawke growled, whipping her daggers out and leaping to the side, just as Isabela drew her own daggers and advanced on them. Fenris lifted his sword in a huge arc to take her out almost instantly, so Hawke turned to the demon. Yet again, it was an easy battle for them, even without Isabela.
Hawke turned shimmering eyes to Fenris. Betrayal glittered keenly in her icy blue eyes.
"I can't believe she did that," she groaned. "I hope she'll be okay..."
"She'll be fine," Justice-Anders answered with an impatient scowl. "She's probably just woken up."
"Come on, Hawke," Fenris urged, disturbed by her grief and more willing than ever to leave that hellhole. "We have to keep moving." Hawke blinked and nodded slowly. She grimaced and straightened, running a hand through her hair.
"You're right," she sighed. "I'm sorry. Come on."
It was with a depressed air that they crossed the courtyard again and opened the other door. Hawke hesitated on the threshold.
"Why did we stop?" Justice-Anders snapped angrily. She ignored him, turning to Fenris with pleading eyes. He was a little taken aback by her expression.
"Don't fall to the temptation," she begged. "Stay by my side."
"I will," he promised rashly. She relaxed and nodded with relief, perhaps seeing the fierce determination in his gaze. She stepped forward, muscles coiled warily. They sidled down another hallway, and Hawke determinedly threw the door open. He watched her form shimmer again and change into an elf- a tall mage with silver hair. Fenris recognized the elf as First Enchanter Orsino, from descriptions he'd heard of the mage. He felt himself turn invisible again, as he and Justice-Anders had in the previous room, and watched as Hawke-as-Orsino confronted Keeper Marethari and teenage Feynriel. He guessed that the demon had taken the form as the Keeper. She cunningly convinced Feynriel that it was a trick yet again. Hawke regained her form, and he and Justice-Anders became visible again. And, as before, the Keeper transformed into a demon. He recognized this one as a pride demon.
"Why do you interfere with my plans? With my power joined with his, Feynriel could have changed the world!" the demon growled.
"Have you ever seen an abomination? They are ugly," Hawke sighed sardonically.
"You put such stock in appearances! That may be why your friends' loyalty runs only skin-deep." Fenris inhaled in shock and horror as the demon turned to him, and he instinctively reached for his sword. Hawke turned at the movement, and her eyes widened. He saw terror flicker across her expression before she swiftly composed it, and he couldn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach. "You think this slave would choose you over his freedom?"
"Cast your eyes elsewhere, demon," Fenris snarled. He stepped forward to stand level with Hawke as he glowered at the demon. "I won my freedom from the magisters long ago." His eyes narrowed with hate. He saw Hawke's shoulders drop with relief, and then stiffen again as the demon replied.
"But you fear them still! With my help, you could be free forever. You could have power enough to challenge any who would claim you." The demon looked him straight in the eye, and he felt his determination waver. Memories flooded through his mind, and he again wondered at his reasons for leaving Hawke that night. He wanted to protect her. Maybe this demon could help him protect her, and they could be together again... His previous determination was replaced by cool consideration. He barely heard Hawke's murmur.
"If you accept, you are no better than the magistrates," she whispered. He forced himself to look away from her. If he gazed into her persuasive blue eyes, he knew that he wouldn't be able to go through with his new decision. His resolve almost crumbled at her next words, spoken in a tone even lower than the previous one, low enough that the others couldn't hear. "Please, Fenris." There was such pain in her soft whimper, such fear... but there was another emotion he didn't immediately identify. Thinking back on it, he would realize that it was resignation, and wonder if she expected him to betray her.
"I... but to be an equal to the magisters..." He hesitated. He was unwilling to explain his true reason for considering it. His mind was hazy, as if clouds had descended over it and blocked his rationality, making his thoughts feel sluggish and stupid. "What would you require of me?" he asked, lifting his eyes to the demon's again. The demon's eyes gleamed with satisfaction.
"Just a moment of your time, nothing more..." it purred. Fenris turned with narrowed eyes, drawing his sword; his mind was totally fuzzy, now, and he moved almost methodically. He had a vague moment to register the overwhelming horror and grief in Hawke's gaze as he faced her.
"Fenris, no!" she shrieked, but it was too late. Justice-Anders hit him with an ice spell, and he froze into an ice statue. Only then did he realize the appalling consequences of his decision, and instead of struggling, he stood rooted in the ice, his mind frozen with dismay that seemed to melt the clouds away. Damn. I did it. And I promised her I wouldn't... He miserably watched Hawke; she seemed frozen in place as well. A dozen emotions flitted across her face before she controlled her expression again. She slid forward, her expression eerily calm. Her composure cracked visibly as she drew her daggers. "I'm sorry, Fenris," she mouthed with a heartbreaking expression. She drew her arm back in preparation. The last image he had seared into his mind before he awoke was of the single tear that slid down her cheek as the ice shattered.
"Hawke!" Fenris bounded to his feet. He staggered at the grief and torment that coursed through him, and he leaned against the wall, uttering a soft moan.
"She's fine." Isabela's voice intruded on his thoughts, and he turned to face her with an agonized expression. Even she looked dismayed for once, but the dismay disappeared when Fenris met her gaze, to be replaced by a slightly amused, sympathetic smirk. She gestured to the other cots. Fenris ignored the one that Anders lay on; he strode over to the only other occupied cot and knelt beside it.
Hawke twitched in her sleep, her eyes moving restlessly under her eyelids. She grimaced and hissed aloud as he watched, and he flinched along with her, hoping that she wouldn't be hurt too badly. Her expression was one of extreme sadness, and he blinked sorrowfully, knowing that he had caused that sadness. Ignoring his strict rules of no touching, he reached out a hand and brushed her hair out of her face. It was sweaty, he realized dully... or were those tears? He bit his lip. He cupped her cheek in his hand and just gazed at her.
"She isn't as good at controlling her expression when she's asleep," commented Isabela. He started; he'd almost forgotten she was there. He scowled at her. She raised her eyebrows and lifted her hands innocently. "I think it's sweet, how concerned you are for her... Why did you leave her, anyway?"
"I don't want to talk about it," he growled, turning his back to her.
"Whatever." He heard footsteps. When he turned, she was gone. Fenris sighed and turned back to Hawke. He hesitated for a moment before he leaned forward. He pressed his lips gently against her soft, unresponsive ones. He pulled back a moment later with a sigh.
"I'm sorry, Hawke," he whispered, stroking her hair. Then he turned and strode out of Arianni's house without a backward glance.
Eight hours of pacing and several bottles of wine- most of them now decorating the wall- later, Fenris finally threw himself down in the uncomfortable armchair. His feet ached from kicking the wall, and the only thing that kept him from punching it was the knowledge that Hawke would make Anders heal his hand if he did- he definitely couldn't deal with the double humiliation of betraying Hawke and then needing Anders to heal him. He couldn't stop thinking about the agonized expression on her face as she drove her dagger through his spirit self, or the slightly smug expression he thought he'd caught on Justice-Anders' face.
Worst of all, though, he couldn't forget the way the demon had looked at him and enticed him to even consider a pact with it. He was aware that it had twisted his mind to benefit itself, but now that he considered the idea with a clear head... he felt absolutely repulsed. He dreaded seeing the expression on Hawke's face, the thinly disguised disappointment in her clear blue gaze...
Then he realized that she would be even more disappointed with the way he was handling it now- he realized with disgust that wallowing in self-pity wasn't helping himself or her. Maybe he did brood...
Alright, that's it. He jumped to his feet and turned toward the door. Whether he wanted to talk to her or not, whether she wanted to see him or not, he had to apologize. Before he could reach it, though, the door opened quietly.
"Fenris," she breathed, stepping inside and shutting the door behind her. Was that... relief in her voice?
She was cloaked in darkness- the firelight didn't reach the entry room, and he hadn't bothered to light the lamps by the door- but her vivid blue eyes still stood out, dancing with her usual charm that seemed to show everything, but betrayed nothing. "I thought you..." She didn't finish her thought. Her shoulders slumped a bit, but a moment later she straightened up, as if with an effort.
"I've been thinking about what happened in the Fade," he began, speaking quickly so he wouldn't lose his nerve. Her silence and calm blue eyes urged him on. "That a demon could have played so easily on my fears... disturbs me." He paused a moment, lowering his gaze. "I failed you. I won't let that happen again."
"Fenris, the demon used magic to twist your mind around," she pointed out, eyes narrowing with concern. "It's not your fault."
"And yet you resisted its temptation," he replied bitterly.
"Everyone gets one free demonic possession before I hold it against them," she answered with weak sarcasm.
"Good to know," he stated caustically.
"Fenris, I... I was a little surprised," she admitted. "Of all my friends, I thought you'd be the least likely to fall prey to a demon's temptation." He blinked, a little surprised at her confession. Then he felt even worse; she'd believed in him, and he had let her down.
"No more surprised than I was," he replied with a slight shrug.
"I'm sure," she agreed with a sigh. "Well, if it helps, Isabela gave in, too, so you weren't the only one."
"What did you do with the boy?" he asked after a moment.
"I sent him to Tevinter, so he could learn to control his powers," she sighed, looking relieved that she hadn't had to kill him. He must have given away some sign of distaste at the mention of his previous home country, as her own features twisted a little in response.
"Well, I guess we'll see if he regrets the mercy you provided him," he said humorlessly. "But that's not important anymore. Let's hope we face nothing similar in the future."
"Definitely," she agreed with a sigh. "The Fade really isn't the best place for vacationing." He smirked, and she seemed to relax in response. She turned back to the door. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, then. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"Thanks," he answered honestly. "See you tomorrow, Hawke."
"Good night, Fenris," she said; he thought he detected a slight note of sadness in her voice. And then she was gone, and he was left alone in his stolen mansion.
A/N: This thing was being shitty, so I'll probably keep my comments at the bottom from now on. Anyway, sorry it took so long to get this up, I've been working on the story that will take place after the game- I hope to have that up soon! :D Thanks for reading!
I need some input from you guys, so here's another poll: what should I write the next story about? Here are the options: the Mark of the Assassin DLC, Demands of the Qun (the end of Act 2), Ostagar, or the prologue of the game.