A/N: These chapters are going to come at a really fast rate guys so be prepared. This is a long one but I hope you enjoy it, it's extremely central to the Phoenix storyline and gives some insight into The Experiments as well. So from what I'm reading in the reviews I get the impression that you guys really like Phoenix's character, which is awesome. I also have a feeling that you guys weren't fans of the cliffhanger on the previous chapter, and I'm sorry but this one ends on an even bigger cliffhanger. Please don't hate me, the next one will be uploaded ASAP I swear. Anyway guys, don't forget to read, review and enjoy.
Phoenix stared down at the tablet in her hands, the email attachment had been opened, but she couldn't bring herself to read it. Natasha's expression was enough to confirm Phoenix's fears. There was something wrong with her.
"What does it say?" Phoenix asked as she titled her head upwards and stared ahead, rather than keeping her eyes where they might wander onto the page.
She felt Natasha's hand move over her own, attempting to reassure her. "It's better if you read it for yourself Milaya Moya," Natasha spoke softly, guiding Phoenix's hands back to the tablet.
Phoenix gave in and looked down, her eyes skimmed over the brief summary of who she was, Phoenix didn't need to read that. It was the results that Phoenix wanted, and when she found them she had to stop for a few moments and gather herself. She had no idea what it would say but it was bound to be bad news.
Phoenix read the first section, titled with the subheading of Sleeping Disorders. It mentioned somnambulism, essentially a sophisticated word for sleepwalking. It also discussed night terrors in great depth. There was nothing honestly supposing on that page, except that Phoenix wasn't sure why this constituted towards poor mental health.
What calm next jolted Phoenix slightly. "Phoenix suffers from a form of amnesia, most likely a form of dissociative amnesia." Amnesia? The reason why she can't remember her childhood is because of amnesia? That couldn't be all it was, there had to be something else, none of this made sense.
Natasha noticed that Phoenix was caught up in the reasons why she had amnesia, so she gently guided her hand further down the page. "Milaya Moya I'm sorry, but it gets worse."
Phoenix looked up at Natasha in fear and she was met with sad eyes that she had never seen Natasha wear before. Trembling, Phoenix continued down the page and found the next section. It was long winded and went on for about ten paragraphs but it was easily summarised into four words. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
"Phoenix is a clear sufferer of the trauma related condition, PTSD, as exhibited in such symptoms as; flashbacks, nightmares, intense distress when reminded of the trauma, difficulty staying or falling asleep, outbursts of anger, hyper-vigilance, easily startled and jumpy, guilt, self-blame, feelings of mistrust and betrayal and suicidal thoughts. Since Phoenix suffers from an extreme case of the disorder, treatment is recommended immediately as Phoenix poses a danger to both society and herself."
Phoenix finished reading the paragraph out loud and completely ignored Natasha's attempts of reassurance. PTSD doesn't just happen, if the trauma came from when he kept her locked up, then why hadn't she exhibited signs when she was still with him?
It wasn't right, this couldn't be PTSD. They had to be making it up or lying to her. It would've been easier to stamp Phoenix on the head with the word 'unfit', because that's practically what they've done. PTSD boiled down to one thing, it meant that Phoenix wasn't permitted to complete missions.
Her only purpose in life, the only thing she was good for, and now she couldn't even do that. She had finally reached the point of uselessness.
"Keep reading," Natasha's voice came out as an echo, solemn and regretful.
Phoenix continued down the page and her eyes found something that sent her whole body rigid when she read it. Natasha saw the expression on Phoenix's face and grabbed her hand, soothingly she rubbed her thumb across the back of Phoenix's hand. Trying to calm her down was t working, Phoenix was well past the point of calm.
Dissociative Identity Disorder.
No. It was impossible. It couldn't be right.
But it was. It all made sense now. He had created a monster, and it was a part of Phoenix.
Phoenix sharply rose to her feet and retreated away from Natasha, tablet clutched in her hand Phoenix began to read one of the paragraphs.
"Phoenix has a secondary personality that formed as a result of the extreme trauma handed down to her. This personality appears to be driven by extreme rage and a dangerous urge for chaos. This personality only appears when Phoenix is overcome by uncontrollable rage or if there is a significant threat present. The personality is uncontrollable and when unlocked during our session, the personality did not speak, and eventually retreated when the threat was removed from the situation."
"What the HELL!" Phoenix screamed, tossing the tablet into the wall with such a force, that it shattered on impact. "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! THERE WAS NO OTHER PERSONALITY!"
"Phoenix calm down," Natasha raised her hands and slowly rose to her feet. "I'm sorry, but you know that this isn't a lie. Think about it Phoenix, you have regular blackouts, you told me that yourself just last week. You had a blackout during the session didn't you?"
Phoenix covered her mouth as her face changed to an expression of horror. "No," she breathed shakily, taking a step backwards she turned away from Natasha and covered her face with her trembling hands. "This isn't right," she mumbled.
"Milaya Moya I'm sorry," Natasha took slow steps in Phoenix's direction as she spoke in a comforting tone. Phoenix knew what Natasha would say next, but the news still hit her like a knife to the stomach. "You're compromised Phoenix. You can't go out into the field until you get better."
"Get better?" Phoenix repeated in question, angrily turning back around to face Natasha. "You can't fix me Nat, and this report proves it. I know that dissociative identity disorder can't be treated, which means I'm never going to get better. This?" Phoenix pointed at the shattered remains of the tablet. "This is my death sentence. The only thing I was ever good for, and now I can't even do that."
Phoenix threw her hands into the air and turned around, moving fast towards the door in an attempt to make her escape. Natasha followed after her, calling her name and begging her to listen, but Phoenix refused to stop. By the time they reached the hallway that Phoenix's room was in, they were making enough noise to stir the other Experiments from their bedrooms and out into the hallway where the commotion was occurring.
"Phoenix stop!" Natasha cried out as Phoenix placed her hand on the doorknob to her room. "You cannot keep running and avoiding the problem! Hiding yourself away does nothing, we can deal with this and I can help you! Please, just listen to me!"
"I can't be saved," Phoenix responded, her voice hard and gravelly. Phoenix glanced briefly at the Experiments standing around her, before turning back to Natasha, her head sunk low. "They're right. No matter how hard you try, you can't change what I was. What I am."
With that, Phoenix walked into her room and slammed the door behind her, the chink of a lock signalled that Phoenix had barricaded herself in and would not be emerging any time soon. Natasha slowly turned her head towards The Experiments who had watched the exchange with stunned expressions, still wearing their pyjamas.
Without exhibiting any emotion whatsoever, Natasha pointed at them. "Get dressed right now," she commanded coldly. "Meet me in the living area in five minutes and if any of you are late there will be hell to pay."
Five minutes later, The Experiments did not disappoint and arrived exactly on time. Clumped together in a tight group, they scuttled into the living room and towards the nearest couch and sat down in front of Natasha and Clint, who were both stood waiting for them.
In her arm, Natasha appeared to be holding a stack of papers, some of which had been stabled together. She was as emotionless as always but her companion standing next to her was practically the opposite. Clint was fuming and looked prepared to strangle anyone in the room who ticked him off further.
The only sound in the room was the raged breathing of The Experiments, and Natasha's shoes as she walked up and down the row of teenagers sat on the couch, distributing them each with papers that had been compiled and stapled into what looked like a report.
"Your Mental Health Evaluations from last week," Natasha announced as she dropped a paper into each person's lap. Resuming her position next to Clint, Natasha folded her arms and looked down on all of them with empty eyes. "You're all mentally unstable. Congratulations."
The silence hit the room like a bomb, wide-eyed stares turned to Natasha as The Experiments fell into a state of complete shock. "What?" Heather's voice eventually shattered the silence in a flat tone. She was staring straight ahead at Natasha, looking as if she was on the brink of anger. "You're making this up."
"Read it for yourself," Natasha challenged, looking down at the report in Heather's hand. "I guarantee you, this isn't made up. Although I'm starting to wish it was."
They exchanged brief and fearful glances before looking down at the papers in their laps. Natasha watched them carefully as they read their reports, looking for any signs of severe distress. While there was expressions of confusion, hurt, and regret; no one looked as if they would tip over the edge.
As they finished reading, each pair of eyes traced upwards until they were met with Natasha's blank stare. "This is a serious problem," she informed them. "We think that the serum you were all injected with, had a very serious effect on your mental and emotional capabilities, making you easily prone to mental disorders and disabilities, as well as violent mood swings."
Heather looked down, and fighting back tears turned her results around so she didn't have to look at it. Mark still had his eyes glued to the page like he couldn't believe what he was seeing and Sam clinched his fists while Josh bit his lip, scrunching up his face in distress.
"It just keeps ruining our lives in every possible way," Bella choked. "What does this mean for us? What the hell are we supposed to do?"
"This isn't something you can ignore," Natasha answered. "You need treatment. Preferably by counselling, but if we conclude that whatever condition you suffer from is too severe, medicinal treatment may be required. It all depends on you."
Heather let the report slip out of her hands, onto the floor where she stared at it furiously. Josh reached a hand across to try and comfort her but she smacked his hand away and began to trace circles on her knee with her index finger. The report lifted off the floor and once it reached a point where it was level with Natasha's line of sight, it sped through the air like a bullet, hitting the wall before falling into a trashcan.
Heather shot to her feet, and furiously stormed out of the room. Without a look back, she stepped into the elevator and slammed her fist against the buttons, the door's closing on her as she stood there with folded arms and wearing an expression of pure rage.
With Heather's abrupt departure, the other Experiments seemed to feel that there was no need to involve themselves in the conversation any further. They rose to their feet at the same time, and hesitated before walking hurriedly in the direction of the elevator.
A thought occurred to Mark as he was halfway across the room and stopped, hitting Sam lightly on the shoulder, he whispered something in his friend's ear. Sam nodded and continued walking with the group while Mark turned around and walked back over to Natasha and Clint.
"Um, where's Phoenix?" he asked awkwardly. "Is she… is she ok?"
Natasha looked Mark up and down. He seemed torn about something, but given the results he still clutched in his hand it was hardly surprising. However, there was something else. He was concerned, and looked as if he was ashamed of something.
Clint looked down at him with a scowl. "No, she's not ok," he answered bluntly and with a sharp edge to his words. "She's locked herself in her room and is refusing to speak with anyone. If you want to know why, take a look at your results and then think about everything that's ever happened to Phoenix. Imagine what her results might be."
Mark looked down, his head hung in shame as he turned away and began walking away slowly. Sam was waiting with the other Experiments in lift, holding the door open for Mark with a pitiful smile. He thought Mark had been discussing his evaluation results, he had no idea about Phoenix.
Mark stepped inside and Sam removed his hands from the door, letting them close on the faces of the four pain-stricken teenagers. Bella's first sobs coincided with the exact moment the door closed. She turned to Sam and buried her face into his chest, while Josh placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Why did it have to be us?" Bella questioned as she sobbed. "What did we do to deserve this?"
Sam placed an arm around her shoulder and held her close, trying to comfort her. "Let's stay together as a group for the rest of the morning," he suggested diplomatically. "I don't think now's a good time for any of us to be alone. Especially Heather, she seemed to take it the hardest. We should find her and make sure she's ok."
The lift opened onto their floor and they all stepped out, heading in the direction of Heather's room. Mark waited behind and moved towards his own door. "I'll be there in a minute, I just gotta do something first," he lied as he wrapped his hand around the doorknob of his own door.
Sam nodded to him in acceptance of his answer, while Josh knocked on the door to Heather's room. After a second there were let in, and Mark waited until they had all gone inside before he took his hands away from the door and stepped backwards.
He rubbed his hands together nervously and he walked over to her door. The whole room omitted a dark aura that disturbed any of the Experiments that went close to it, which is why they never gave it a second glance or refused to acknowledge that it was even there.
Mark stopped in front of Phoenix's door, a fist raised to knock. He waited for several seconds, trying to hear if there were any signs of movement within. He could hear nothing, the whole room echoed with an eerie silence that made Mark's skin crawl.
He rapped his knuckles against the door timidly, and waited for her to acknowledge his presence. Still he was unable to hear anything but as he bent down to look at the crack underneath the door, he saw a shadow move, and immediately knew that Phoenix was on the other side.
"I'm sorry for what I said last night. You know I didn't mean it Phoenix it just came out," he took the chance to apologise and waited for Phoenix to say something back or open the door. She didn't, so Mark continued talking. "We got our evaluation results back and well, it's not good."
Mark stared at the door, hoping that by some miracle Phoenix might open it and express her forgiveness. Mark chuckled dryly, his voice dripping with cracked humour. "I have PTSD can you believe," he admitted, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. "And depression. So add that to the icing on the freaking cake."
Mark waited for another second, but there was still no sound or any signs of movement. "I – um," he stammered as he struggled to get the words out. "I know what it's like to be tortured, in a way. My mom and dad aren't exactly good applicants for the parents of the year award. They um – let's just say my history of broken bones isn't because of accidents."
Still nothing, so Mark tried one last thing. He leaned against the door and looked down. "Phoenix I just want to know that you're ok," he spoke softly. Mark gave up after he still received no answers. So taking one last look at the door, Mark turned around and walked off in the direction of Heather's bedroom.
Phoenix curled herself further into a ball, the hard wood of the door pressing into her spine as she buried her head in her hands. She looked up briefly, eyes falling to the shattered glass all around her. Phoenix lowered a bloody hand and picked up a shard, clutching it tight in her fist, she welcomed the pain.
Just after six o'clock Natasha got the call, picking up the burner phone, she listened intently to the speaker on the other end of the line. Once satisfied with the negotiations, Natasha hung up, and took off at a run out of her bedroom and into the living area.
She managed to find Steve and told him everything, and the two of them hurriedly devised a plan before they both took off to gather everyone for a meeting. Natasha was tasked with finding The Experiments, which was easy enough considering they were all gathered in Heather's bedroom.
Phoenix heard a knock on her door and upon hearing Natasha's voice, her eyes darted left to right in a panic, but thankfully, Natasha didn't enter. Natasha told Phoenix what was happening and waited several seconds for a response. When she received none, Natasha continued on her way.
The Experiments all piled onto the one couch as usual while Tony and Bruce sat together and Clint took a seat on the same couch as Natasha, but perched on the back of the couch. Steve sat next to Natasha, being the last to enter the room after he gathered everyone.
"Hanora made contact," Steve announced. "She's agreed to return to Asgard and return the weapon to Odin, if we give her Thravi. She wants to make the trade tomorrow, but we have no idea when and where she wants to meet."
"And she's most definitely lying about going back to Asgard," Natasha added. "I'm certain she'll double-cross us the moment she gets her son back. We have no idea how many Frost Giant creatures she has under her control. We may not be able to fight all of them."
"It's about control," Phoenix spoke up in a cracked voice as she entered the room. As all eyes turned and fell on her, she sunk her head and moved to the wall, placing herself in a position where she could watch everyone, but to look at her they were forced to turn their heads. "By being vague in her communications, Hanora has the upper hand over us. She's trying to keep us in the dark to throw us off."
Natasha took stock of Phoenix's appearance with a feeling of dread that crawled up her spine. She was a mess, and that was putting it lightly.
Phoenix was wearing different clothes to what she had on this morning. Now she wore a grey sweater far too big for her that hung on her skinny frame, and a different pair of jeans. Her hair was a disaster that she had half-heartedly attempted to contain in a messy ponytail that hung over her right shoulder. But she always looked like that.
What wasn't normal, was that Phoenix had a red mark on her jaw that looked like it would soon develop into a nasty bruise, and red lines on her cheeks that looked like fingernail marks. There was dried blood caked under her fingernails and a faint tremor in her hands. The dark lines surrounding her eyes and her sickly pale skin made her look like a ghost, and her reddened and watery eyes didn't help that point either. She nervously tugged at the sleeves of her jumper, trying to pull them down even further, almost like she was hiding something.
Clint noticed it as well, and made eye contact with Natasha that expressed his distress. Phoenix was looking everywhere but at the people who were staring at her. Natasha realised that Phoenix had only emerged to find out what was going on, and would most likely dart back to her room once the meeting was over. The best thing to do was continue the meeting, and Steve knew this as well.
"Phoenix is right," Steve returned to setting out their plan. "We need to be prepared for whatever this woman will throw at us, which I imagine will be a lot. There's no way any of us will be able to take her one-on-one, so we'll need to work together closely on this one. By the time she sends us the location and the time of the meeting we won't have time to scope out the area, which means we need to be prepared for different scenarios."
"Let's just start with the basics," Bruce suggested, with a sideways glance at Natasha. "Romanoff's the best at espionage, so she should be the one to make the exchange."
Natasha tilted her head and turned to Steve to see what his response would be. "You're right Dr Banner," Steve agreed, completely ignoring the fact that Natasha was staring at him. "I was thinking that Romanoff and I will make contact and do most of the talking. Stark you can be nearby us, or further away, I haven't decided that point yet. Barton you've got the best eyes, I'll need you up on the high ground scoping out the area and watching everything. Banner, I think it would be best if you kept your distance until we need the Hulk."
"I assume that our prime objective here is to use the kid as bait, and then snag supermom," Tony guessed as he leaned forward to reach a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. Breaking the shell, he popped it into his mouth and chewed as he talked. "We gotta keep the blue man group off us as well, so I'll work on some sort of heat weapon," Tony clicked his fingers at Phoenix. "Or maybe Phoenix can do it."
"Phoenix won't be coming on this mission, and neither will any of the other Experiments," Steve shot down his idea with a stern glare. The Experiments looked relieved at this news, all except for Phoenix, who was only hearing about this news for the first time. She stared at Steve, but was significantly more disappointed than surprised. "I'm organising an escort to take you all somewhere safe while this is going down. It's just a precaution."
"I can help," Phoenix pleaded in a cracked voice, placing a hand on her collarbone directly below her throat. "I-I can use my ability."
"Phoenix the safest thing is for you to go with the other Experiments," Steve told her calmly. "I promise you, everything will be fine."
Phoenix shook her head furiously. Heather, who had been staring at one spot on the coffee table throughout the entire conversation, scoffed irritably and rolled her eyes. "Why don't you just let her stay, she's an expert in cold-blooded murder after all, she's perfect for this" Heather quipped dryly.
Phoenix looked away, her face contorted into a mixed expression of shame and distress. As he looked at Phoenix, Clint finally snapped. The rage had reached its boiling point as Heather took one step too far over the line. Natasha saw his face change, and made a move to stop him but Clint was on the brink of a rampage.
He shot to his feet and jabbed at finger at Heather. "I've had it with your bullshit Heather!" he snapped, causing both Heather and Phoenix to flinch. "You need to cut the crap, ok! Do you have any idea how traumatised Phoenix is because of her past? ANY IDEA?"
Natasha raised a hand to Clint's wrist, trying to get him to stop. Natasha looked up and made eye contact with Phoenix who looked on the verge of tears. Clint smacked Natasha's hand away and continued on with his rant. "Phoenix has been having mental breakdowns constantly for the past two weeks, and it's been happening ever since you arrived and started attacking her! You want someone to blame Heather? Look at Doctor Blake, or even better, take a good look at yourself!"
There were collective gasps of shock from around the room, some of them placed a hand over their mouths and others simply stared. Natasha shook her head and buried her face into her hands. He'd done it. Clint had been stupid enough to mention Doctor Blake. There was a clatter to Natasha's left, and she looked up to see that Phoenix had taken a step backwards and run into the wall, knocking a bottle to the floor which had shattered on impact.
Heather, who was completely consumed by rage at Clint's comment, heard the noise and turned her attention to Phoenix. Natasha drew in a breath and rose to her feet, braced for the onslaught of what was coming. Phoenix had seen it to, and had frozen in fear where she stood.
"Stop pretending to be a victim!" Heather hissed menacingly, rising to her feet, she took a step in Phoenix's direction. "Doctor Blake's mansion, Navy Pier, SHIELD Headquarters. Hundreds are dead because of you. You were designed to destroy and kill, and that's all you have ever been good for. You lost your humanity the second Doctor Blake put his hands on you. He turned you into a monster, and that is a fact you cannot ignore no matter how much they try to groom you into being something you're not. You're nothing but his pawn, his little toy soldier. You should just kill yourself, that way you might actually do something good for once."
Phoenix chocked back a sob, not wanting to break down in front of everyone, she slid along the wall trying to make for the door, but Heather just kept advancing. "I don't belong to him," Phoenix cried, her voice wobbly and close to breaking as she tried to look anywhere but Heather's eyes. "I'm sorry, I thought I was helping people."
"Helping people?" Heather questioned in outrage, her voice rising in hysteria. Natasha moved closer to the two girls, hoping that she could prevent what might happen, but she couldn't get too close. Both of the girls had strong abilities, and weren't known for their control. "You've never helped anyone, all you ever do is destroy people's lives."
Phoenix pushed herself off the wall and began moving quickly towards to elevator. "Don't turn your back on me!" Heather's voice neared a scream. She stamped a foot on the ground in frustration and clenched her fists as she shirked. "You play the pity card and they all gather around you like you're some lost soul that needs to be saved! I'M SICK OF IT!"
A plate rose off the coffee table by itself and everything that happened next moved in slow motion for Natasha. By using her hand to guide it, Heather directed the plate at Phoenix and it moved close to the speed of a bullet, heading right for her. It collided with the back of Phoenix's head with a thud and then a crack as it hit the floor and broke into pieces.
Everyone froze as Heather glared ahead at Phoenix, who had stopped dead in her tracks, her whole body went ridged as her eyes widened. Natasha watched as something changed in Phoenix's expression. All signs of distress and fear vanished as her face was drained of emotion. A second passed, until Phoenix's expression twisted into one of pure rage.
Natasha signalled to Clint who seemed to realise the exact same thing. He silently signalled for everyone to get down on the ground as Natasha took a hesitant step backwards. "Heather back away now," she warned in a hissed whisper, furiously waving a hand in the direction of the girl.
Too late, Phoenix turned around and mouth pulled back into a snarl, she locked eyes with Heather and her arms completely ignited in flame. Heather eye's widened, but she was unable to do anything to react. Phoenix launched forward with a scream, hands moving for Heather's throat.
"PHOENIX!" Natasha cried.
Phoenix gave no response or any signs of hearing Natasha cry as she grabbed Heather's neck with one hand and raised her up above her head, slamming her into the wall in a furious rage. Heather screamed as she tried hitting Phoenix's arm away and felt the flame searing into her flesh.
Natasha heard a commotion coming from behind her as The Experiments reacted in fear. Natasha ran to Phoenix's side, but the girl standing in front of her wasn't Phoenix, and it wasn't the first time Natasha had seen the other personality either. She was hit with a nauseating wave of Déjà vu as she remembered the day she had witnessed Phoenix burn Doctor Blake into nothing but ash. No, not Phoenix, the horrifying personality that had taken over. Natasha couldn't let the same thing happen to Heather, so she did the worst thing she could've possibly done in that moment.
Natasha raised a hand, and with as much force as she could muster, slapped Phoenix across the face so hard that the sound echoed around the room. Phoenix released her grip on Heather's neck and jumped backwards, Heather falling to the ground coughing and wheezing with her hands on her own throat.
Phoenix, the real Phoenix, was jarred back into reality by the shock, and with one hand on her face, she looked around in confusion. She saw Heather slumped against the wall, with her hands against her neck. Phoenix saw the red marks around her neck that signalled the beginning of what would develop into a second degree burn.
Phoenix stared at Heather with a horrified expression, hand covering her mouth, she looked to Natasha for answers. Natasha looked at her regretfully and the realisation of what Phoenix had done finally struck her. She looked around the room and saw faces filled with fear staring back at her.
Phoenix took a shaky step backwards, her feet nearly crumpling beneath her. She made a horrific choking noise in the back of her throat, hand trembling as she held it over her mouth. Natasha moved towards her and so did Clint, but Phoenix shook her head in fear.
"Get away!" she wailed, using one hand to wave them away. "I don't want to hurt you as well."
"Phoenix you're not going to hurt us," Natasha raised her hands, try to sooth Phoenix with a calm voice. "It's ok, that wasn't you."
"NO!" Phoenix sobbed, her cries nearly making her words indecipherable. "I'm a monster, all I do is hurt people. I-I can't be around people, all I ever do is hurt people. Oh God, I'm so sorry."
Natasha took a step forward to try and stop her, but Phoenix turned around and took off at a run, darting into the stairwell as fast as she could possibly move. Natasha and Clint simultaneously ran after her but she moved too quickly and had too much of a head start.
By the time they reached the lobby and exited onto the street, Phoenix had already vanished amongst the crowds of New York.