Warnings: Talk of past noncon/dubcon, that is pretty much it for this chapter

A/N: Okay, I'm officially changing the update day for this story. I keep thinking I'll have time to write during the week, but then I don't so I end up rushing on Saturday to write the new chapter, and often don't end up posting it on time, so now I'm saying fuck it, I will update of Sundays. So there's that.

Word Count: ~ 4, 300

To Kurt's disappointment, Blaine returned to his silence and after spending the majority of the morning talking and seeing Blaine as he should be, carefree and relaxed and chatty, it was even weirder than it was before. They went back to the kitchen for lunch and ate in silence, then they went back to the room and Blaine hid under the covers again, though Kurt wasn't actually sure if he was sleeping or just avoiding him. They repeated the process at dinner, then for each meal for the next three days.

Finally on the fourth day, Kurt took Blaine on the tour of the castle. Blaine followed behind him obediently, nodding along as Kurt explained what each room was and occasionally looking mildly curious about something, but he held his tongue.

Kurt didn't know what to do, how to fix it, he didn't want to force Blaine to talk since it was obvious he didn't want to, but he didn't abandon him again. Kurt spent as much time in the room as possible so if, by chance, Blaine decided he wanted to talk, or at least be in Kurt's presence, he would be there for him.

As more time went by and Blaine remained mute, only leaving the bed to eat or shower, Kurt started to go a little stir crazy and his father picked up on it, requesting they go for a ride the next morning. Pavarotti, Kurt's horse, was being severely neglected by the prince, and while there were plenty of slaves that took care of him, feeding, washing, and riding him, he missed his master and Kurt knew he needed to stop ignoring his horse so he agreed.

He shook Blaine's arm, or what he hoped was Blaine's arm as it was hidden under the duvet with the rest of him, to wake him. Blaine's head poked out just enough for Kurt to see the questioning raise of his eyebrow.

"I'm going out for a ride with my father, I don't know how long I'll be gone, but you can go to the kitchen and get food whenever you get hungry, okay?"

Blaine gave him a curt nod before burrowing back into his blanket nest. Kurt sighed and stood, slipping into his riding boots and leaving with a wistful glance back at the bed.

Burt and Kurt rode in silence for the most part, Burt occasionally pointing out a deer of a chipmunk, Pavarotti ambled along the trail happily. They enjoyed the sounds of nature around them and the escape from the pressures of running a city. They rode deep into the forest until they hit a small creek at about midday and stopped to let their horses rest and get a drink.

Kurt spread out the blanket he'd brought under a tree and started unpacking the lunch Carole had made for them, chicken salad sandwiches with apple slices and celery sticks.

"So when are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Burt asked as he ruefully ate the celery sticks Kurt handed to him.

"I don't know what you mean," Kurt feigned innocence, tearing the crust off his sandwich carefully. Carole had stopped cutting them off for him years ago when he'd gotten upset about being treated like a child, even though he didn't really like the crust. Now he just didn't want to make more work for her so he didn't ask her to start again.

"You know what I'm talking about, Kurt. A week ago you were always out caring for Pavarotti or hanging out with Finn and your friends, and when you weren't with them you were sitting in the garden reading, studying, and sometimes even sleeping. You did everything you could to avoid your room, now you barely leave it. What's going on?"

Kurt sighed, "I guess I'm just… having trouble adjusting."

Burt frowned, "Adjusting? You mean to Blaine?"

Kurt shrugged, "I just don't know what to do with him. I thought at first I'd leave him alone but that… ended up with him starving in complete isolation because he didn't know he could leave the room. So then I tried to talk to him and that went great until I asked the wrong question and upset him and now he won't talk. At all. And I'm trying to be there in case he changes his mind so he's not entirely isolated again, but nothing has changed and I don't know what to do, or how to fix things and make it better, and I'm really starting to think I can't and I don't know how to deal with living with a boy who doesn't talk and sleeps all day for, potentially, the rest of my life!" Kurt's voice cracked, face crumpling as he stubbornly fought back tears.

"Everything is complicated and confusing and I didn't even want him in the first place. And I thought it would be bad losing my virginity to someone I don't know, but someone who hates me is so much worse and I just wish it hadn't happened this way," Kurt squeezed his eyes shut as his father enveloped him in a tight hug.

"It was supposed to be perfect," he sobbed into his chest, fingers curling weakly into the fabric of his shirt, "I was supposed to be in love."

It was shortly after noon when Blaine stepped into the kitchen to find it buzzing with activity, many slaves working together to make lunch. He stood awkwardly by the door, trying to stay out of the way while he scanned the room for Carole, not sure what to do. He'd never seen this many people in the kitchen, him and Kurt always showed up after the meal rush when the kitchen was barren with only Carole around.

"Hey, sweetie," Blaine jumped as Carole appeared beside him, "I'll go heat your food up for you, do you want to eat it in here, or take it back to your room?"

Blaine noticed that Carole had started to do that over the past couple of days, referring to the room as his and Kurt's, not just Kurt's. Maybe it was supposed to make him more comfortable, feel like he belonged. But the room couldn't feel further from being his and he wasn't sure it ever would.

"I-I'd like to eat in here… if I won't be in the way," he requested softly.

Carole smiled, "Find a place at the counter, there's enough space for them to work around you." She gave him a swift, motherly kiss on the cheek before heading off to retrieve his food. Blaine found a seat at the end of the counter, a little ways away from the closest worker. He sat quietly, with his hands folded in his lap, watching the other slaves as they worked. A boy a bit older than him caught his eye, mostly because he had a mohawk and he was a bit surprised as the majority of the other slaves had simple, conservative cuts. He was trying to roll out pizza dough, and apparently failing if the frustrated furrow of his brow and the girl hovering around him muttering instructions was any indication.

"I suck at this, I know!" he suddenly shouted, making Blaine flinch. The boy dropped the roller on top of the dough angrily, stepping away and folding his arms over his chest as he glared, "I can haul wood even with a bum knee, I shouldn't have to be doing this shit."

Carole came up beside him, "Burt doesn't want you making your injury worse, you know he has your best interests at heart," she said gently, putting a hand on his arm. The boy softened a bit.

"I know," he sighed, "I just… don't understand how to do this. It's not my skill set."

Carole gave him a sympathetic smile, "Lily," she addressed the girl that had been hovering around him, "you roll the dough, Puck can add the toppings." Lily smiled brightly, grabbing the roller and starting to fix the misshapen pizza crust Puck had been making.

Carole came back over to him with his food in tow. Just as she was sitting it down, another boy came crashing into the kitchen. He barely paused before spotting Carole and making a beeline for her. "Mom, Mom, Mom," he said excitedly, "guess what just happened?" he plopped himself down in the seat next to Blaine, immediately reaching over and stealing a hash brown from the plate Carole was pushing towards Blaine. Carole said nothing, snatching it back and placing it on Blaine's plate again. The boy frowned.

"So what just happened?" distracting the boy and his smile stretched across his face again.

"Okay, okay, so, yesterday, there was this little girl, I think she's the daughter or the granddaughter of someone on the council, or maybe a visiting noble, I'm not sure, but she was asking to ride one of the horses. And I thought, sure, why not, she was like, twelve, so not young enough that I'd worry about her getting hurt. So, I saddled Pavarotti for her, since he's the sweetest, and also Kurt's kind of been neglecting him lately, so I figured he wouldn't be out to ride him."

Blaine startled a bit at the use of Kurt's name, did all the slaves just call him by name?

"Anyway, she was riding around, and I was keeping a close eye on her, and she was good, but I still ended up correcting her form a bit, to make her better. And apparently, her nanny saw me and said that I should give lessons. I didn't think anything about it, because I'm a slave and a stable hand, who would want lessons from me, right?

"But today, Burt came to me and asked if I would like to take over some of the lessons. With me teaching more kids can come and learn that wouldn't be able to pay for Joe's lessons, since he demands such a high salary, but I don't get a salary, so the prices for my lessons can be lower. Isn't that awesome?"

Carole smiled fondly at her son, "That's amazing, Finn, you'll be an incredible teacher, when do you start?"

"They want me to do a few lessons with Joe first, watching him to make sure I know what I'm doing, so a few weeks, maybe," he shrugged, "Burt didn't give me all the details yet, but, still, it's happening." He was bouncing excitedly in his seat and Blaine couldn't help being reminded of a dog. A big giant St. Bernard, adorable, but able to suffocate you if they get too excited and tackle you too hard.

Then Finn turned to him, brow furrowing as if he just realized he didn't know the boy sitting quietly next to him. "Who are you?"

Blaine didn't answer, not sure how. Did he want a name? Did he want to know why he was here? Did he want to know what his job was? Luckily, Carole answered for him.

"This is Blaine."

Finn's eyes widened comically, "Like… Kurt's Blaine?"

Blaine nodded carefully, surprised that Finn knew who he was.

"Uh- wow, I thought you were like… a total hermit, but, wow, nice to meet you finally."

Blaine offered a small smile before turning back to his food. He heard Carole gently chide him for calling Blaine a hermit, but Blaine couldn't blame him since that was kind of what he was. If not leaving bed for almost a week didn't make you a hermit, Blaine wasn't sure what did.

"Uh, dude," Finn said, nudging his shoulder lightly to get Blaine to look at him, "I know my mom's food is amazing, but I swear it's just as good in the mess hall with the rest of us. I was just going to head there, if you want to join me…"

Blaine swallowed nervously, glancing to Carole who just smiled encouragingly. Blaine shrugged and nodded, grabbing his last piece of bacon before standing. Finn looked at him strangely but didn't comment, standing as well.

Carole stopped them before they could get too far. "Oh, please take Puck with you as well, I think he's trying to make penises with the olives."

"So Kurt wasn't kidding about you not talking," Finn said when they sat down at their table. Blaine choked on his pizza, surprised, because not only did Finn know who he was, Kurt himself had apparently talked to this boy about him.

"Wait," Puck said, mouth full, "you're Blaine? I thought you were just new."

Blaine shook his head, sipping on his water to ease the burn.

"Well it's great to finally meet you, what's it like to have sex with Kurt?"

Blaine choked on his water this time, startled by Puck's forwardness. He pushed his plate and cup away as he coughed, deciding it would be best for his survival if he didn't have anything in his mouth during this conversation.

"Dude," Finn cringed, "I don't want to hear about that."

"What?" Puck said, "I'm curious. Is he commanding in bed, or sweet and gentle, or is he shy and lets you take the reins? He could easily be any of those, he has a very multi faceted personality."

Blaine was a bit shell shocked, not sure how to respond to Puck's questions. He just kind of sat there, blinking awkwardly while Puck stared at him expectantly and Finn feigned uninterest. He was saved for a few seconds when a blonde boy sat himself next to Blaine.

He paused with pursed lips when he noticed how quiet they all were. "Umm… what's going on?"
"I'm just trying to get Blainey here to tell me what it's like to have sex with Kurt but he seems determined to keep up his selective muteness." Puck said, not taking his eyes off of the smaller boy.

The other boy scoffed, "Yeah, because Kurt would actually have sex with him," and promptly dug into his food.

Blaine wet his lips, not sure if he should be offended on his own behalf or Kurt's. Did this boy think he wasn't good enough for Kurt? Or that Kurt was incapable of having sex?

"You've heard him thanking Carmichael for his present, telling him how wonderful he is at his job," Puck pointed out and Blaine's stomach dropped. Kurt talked to Carmichael about him, Kurt thanked him, talked about him like an object, a toy. But the other boy was quick to counter.

"He was obviously lying. Of course he has to act like he loves him and he's being a perfect little slave, or Carmichael will use his gratefulness as even more fodder for the council to hate him, so instead he lies because he wouldn't even touch this boy because he can't consent."

Blaine shifted anxiously in his seat, not sure what to make of this boy's speech about Kurt. Kurt had had sex with him, but he hadn't touched him since in anyway but helpful, so was the boy right or wrong?

Two girls came and sat at the table, quickly joining in on the debate as to whether or not Kurt had really had sex with Blaine or not, and Blaine was starting to feel overwhelmed with the amount of people surrounding him, too used to being in isolation with only the sound of magazine pages turning or whatever movie Kurt was watching for company. Suddenly there were five people around him, all talking about him.

"What's wrong with the puppy?" the blonde girl asked and all eyes turned to him. His breath was coming in shaky and his face was pale.

"I have to go," Blaine mumbled, standing quickly and turning to leave but running promptly into a strong chest. Hands grabbed his biceps to steady him.

"Whoa, are you o-" they broke off abruptly when Blaine looked up and his breath stopped.

"Nick?" he gasped, tears clogging his throat.

"Blaine?" Nick's face was mixture of surprise and joy and pain. Blaine couldn't focus too much on it as he threw his arms around Nick, burying his face in his shoulder. Nick carefully wrapped his arms around him to hug him back and Blaine broke, the weeks and weeks of pain and fear and confusion breaking through the numbness he'd built up to hide it away and all he could do was cling to Nick and cry.

Blaine wasn't sure how long they stood there, everyone else turned back to their meal, conversing quietly again after a bit and Blaine couldn't tell if they were still talking about him or not, but he couldn't bring himself to care, because finally there was someone he knew, someone he could let his guard down around, someone he could trust, and that was what he needed the most.

Kurt sat back, wiping his eyes and sniffling a bit. "Blaine has it so much worse," he mumbled quietly, picking apart the crust he'd pulled from his sandwich, "I have no right to cry about this."

Burt covered Kurt's hands with one of his own, still his anxious movements. "Blaine's pain, or anyone's pain for that matter, doesn't diminish your pain. It doesn't matter if it's worse or not. You have a right to be feeling what you are feeling and no one and nothing can stop you from feeling this pain. You lost something important to you, it's okay to be upset about that."

Kurt shook his head, "I didn't have to have sex with him, no one was holding a gun to my head. I needed to, but I didn't have to. He had no choice in the matter. I lost the dream of my perfect first time, he lost everything."

"Carmichael put you in a difficult position, he made you choose between you own morale and your need for the council to accept you. He wanted this to be hard, he wanted you to lose something no matter your decision, he's at fault here, not you."

"I'm lying anyway, telling them I'm using him when I'm not. Maybe I should have just lied entirely, never even touched him. Taken him back to the room and tucked him into bed. Maybe then he wouldn't be so terrified of me."

"You've never told them you're using him, only that you have used him, they don't know how many times or how long it's been. You're not lying, that was the point, to keep you honesty intact."

"What good is honesty if I'm a rapist?"

Burt sighed, "Have you explained any of what's going on to Blaine?"

Kurt shrugged, "Not really, I told you he doesn't talk."

"He doesn't have to talk, he just has to listen. Right now, he's just confused, he doesn't know what's going at all. He expected one thing from you, and it's not what he's gotten and he doesn't know why. He deserves to understand."

Kurt ran a hand through his hair, "That's what Carole said."

Burt smiled, "Well, Carole's a very smart woman."

"I just don't know how," Kurt said in frustration. "How do I explain to him why I raped him? How do I explain that the council is full of assholes who don't want me on the throne? How do I explain to him that Carmichael chose him because he knew he'd be terrified? How do I tell him any of this? Because I don't know."

"I don't know either, that's one you'll have to figure out on your own."

Eventually Blaine and Nick sat down again, Blaine tucked close to Nick's side. They'd never been overly affectionate with each other before, too scared of their parents reading into it and figuring out their biggest secrets, but now Blaine had to make sure Nick was real and that he wasn't leaving him again. Blaine scooted his uneaten Pizza over to Nick, since he was currently the reason he couldn't go and get his own food.

"Are you not hungry?" Nick asked softly.

Blaine shook his head, "I ate earlier."

Nick ate in silence, everyone else was chatting and Blaine was glad to hear they had moved topics to whatever Puck had done to his knee. He wasn't paying close enough attention to keep up with what seemed to be a wild story. He was content to sit with Nick's arm around his shoulder, holding him close and together so he could fall way and break again. He knew he should have a million questions to ask him, but at that moment all he wanted to do was bask in the presence of his friend who he thought he'd never see again.

But good things don't last for Blaine and soon enough everyone was watching them again.

"So…" the blonde boy, Sam, Blaine thought he'd heard Finn call him that, started, "are you two like… together?"

And that question stirred something in Blaine, the question he desperately needed an answer for. "Where's Jeff?" he asked, excitement gripping his chest as he sat up straighter, looking around, even though he logically knew that if Jeff were in the room he'd be sitting with them, "Is he here? What's his job?"

Nick's face fell and he swallowed thickly, "Uh, no, Jeff isn't here, he got sold somewhere else."

Blaine deflated back into Nick's side, his hope crashing down on him, making his heart feel heavier about the loss of his friend than it had in years. A part of him wanted to ask about Quinn and Mike but he was too scared of getting the same answer so he stayed quiet.

"Um, to answer your question, Sam, no, we're not, we're just friends who haven't seen each other in a long, long time," Nick said, rubbing Blaine's shoulder soothingly.

"Good," the Latina girl, Santana, said, "I don't think the prince would have appreciated his fuck toy having a boyfriend."

Blaine tensed, blushing furiously. He didn't want Nick to know what his job was, he wanted to pretend that wasn't what he was supposed to do, that he worked in the kitchen with Carole, or the stables with Finn, but now Nick knew. He was Kurt's fuck toy, even if he was vastly unused.

"So you're the present Carmichael gave him," Nick mused and Blaine nodded weakly. "He's nice though, right? Treats you well?"

Blaine thought for a second, "I think he's trying to."

"But the question still remains," Puck interjected, "have you actually had sex with him?"

"I don't think that's any of your business, Noah," Nick said, angrily.

Blaine swallowed, glancing around the table before whispering, "Yeah… yeah, I have."

Sam gasped in outrage, "No!" he shouted, making Blaine flinch and cower into Nick's sid, "No! No, no, no! Kurt wouldn't do that, not in a million year would he have sex with a slave, he'd marry a woman before he did that!"

"Of course he would," Puck said, "out of duty or fake gratitude or some stupid noble shit like that. What really speaks to Kurt's character is how many times they've had sex." He turned to look pointedly at Blaine.

"J-just the once," he stuttered out.

"On the first night, I'm guessing?"

Blaine nodded.

"See? Just what I thought, he has sex with Blaine to accept the gift out of honor to the council and Carmichael, and then to uphold his own personal honor, he hasn't touched him since."

Sam still looked incredibly upset about the whole thing, "He was gentle though, right? He made it good for you?"

"Yeah," Blaine said quietly, "he, uh, he didn't even make me go all-all the way. I think he could tell I was scared."

Finn's brow furrowed, "But you said you had sex…"

"Finn, if you think penetration is the only way to have sex, I feel seriously sorry for any girl you've been with," Santana snapped.

"There are other ways to have sex?" Finn asked, genuinely surprised.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Give me a list of every girl you've had sex with inside this castle so Brittany and I can go make up all the orgasm they didn't get from you."

Finn flounder, stuttering out a response but a small voice interrupted him.

"My unicorn must be so upset about this," Brittany said quietly, looking stricken.

"What do you mean, Brit?" Sam asked.

"He wanted to be in love when he lost his virginity, and Carmichael made him give it to someone he didn't know."

Blaine's jaw dropped, "Kurt was a virgin?"

"It's not like he had many options," Nick told him, "homosexuality isn't exactly accepted so most people that work in the castle are either straight or in the closet. There are a couple of other gay slaves, but Kurt wouldn't have sex with any of them because he could never really know if they were saying yes because they wanted to or yes because they thought they had too. He hoped to find someone and fall in love one day, but it wasn't really working out. He was determined to wait for 'the one' though. Looks like Carmichael ruined that for him too."

Blaine frowned. He hadn't even thought about Kurt being upset by this, he had felt so wronged by the whole situation and he couldn't understand that Kurt didn't want any of it either but was under pressure to live up to expectations and use him. He suddenly felt horrible for how he'd ignored him, he hadn't even given Kurt a chance to explain the things he still didn't completely understand.

"I hope he falls in love with you," Brittany said with a kind smile, "so then it will be like his dream came true."