Note/Warning: Tcest (RxD, LxM], Rock band stuff, OOC-ness, bad language, tragic stuff, mature stuff, music will vary on degrees
Inspired from AmorTortuga's Time To Pretend fanfic in DA!
The one with the ITALICS are Raph's flashbacks or can be called as memory triggers. I see a lot of fanfics regarding amnesia that the one who had memory loss is the one who had triggers, I made it the opposite since it adds effect because of Raph's guilt and conscience.
The one with (" ") is usually Raph's thoughts.
Lift your head, baby, don't be scared
Of the things that could go wrong along the way
You'll get by with a smile
You can't win at everything but you can try.
Leo admits, Mikey often sang out of tune whenever he listens to tunes. But he is very different when he gets serious by it. This lover of his really had the talents. Oh, how he love him so.
In a world where everybody
Hates a happy ending story
It's a wonder love can make the world go round
The two professionals got to admit, these two really had the musician blood. Well, Mikey is a given, as they worked with him before. They were in their first band, with Mikey and Donnie, which known as "Shell Shocker".
And don't let it bring you down
And turn your face into a frown
You'll get along with a little prayer and a song.
As the vocalist is finished, Raph and Leo clapped in delight. April went up the stage after.
"Tim, still need your help." She smiled as Timothy went to the drum set.
"I think you know this one." April grinned as her slim fingers started to play that familiar lead riff. Surprisingly, the bass riff came in. Raph is impressed at the music, especially those rich, thick bass coming from a certain purple musician.
Without warning, Leo and Mikey joined along in the vocals.
In being an audience, Raph knew Mikey chose the right people for this band. Leo grabbed the mic and emphasized "He got eyes of the bluest skies" while teasing Mikey.
It's been a long time since he seen a band jamming and messing around like this. If only he turn back the time, he would really change it, especially the former relationship of Donnie and him.
The song finished and Raph just made thumbs up then clapped his hands.
"Seemed you will definitely in the front act." Leo said as the band members made a high five… Or three to Don and Mike.
"Oh my, we didn't realize it's a little late." April said as she looked at the clock. It's already past 5 PM. "But we had one last performance." She said.
"We had?" Mikey said.
"Well… One of us had an extra talent." April smirked as her eyes went to Donnie.
"No… No, April! No!" Donnie refused as April shoved her guitar to him.
Now, this is getting interesting.
"Come on, Donnie, I know you loved to play that song." April said and left him alone in the stage. He sheepishly become nervous and embarrassed, if he had long hair, he would so hide in it.
"This song is special to me… For some reason. I really apologize if I made mistakes… A-and… It reminded me of someone… I can't remember. But I knew he was important to me…" He shyly said as he touched the neck of the guitar and started to play.
Raph knows that song. That song he played in the veranda last night.
It was a quiet night and sweet strings of acoustic tunes are heard as Donnie really loves the music. He is pleased it hit the bassist's heart, just as planned. All part of the plan by this bet between his best friend and him.
"R-Raphie…" Donnie muttered softly. He is flushing. Now that he remembered it, he is beautiful that night.
"Yeah?" Raph replied, he placed the guitar down and sat beside him.
He can see Donnie gulped and sighed.
"Yes, Raph."
"Huh?" he said, being astonished.
"I would like to be your boyfriend." He shyly said.
Of course the usual reaction to that are happiness and an embrace. Wow, he realized he is a good actor. It was the start of Donnie's misery.
Since Donnie "died", he always played that song at night, hoping he would hear it. That song is both a sweet dream and a nightmare, as he met a happy Donnie and he made him miserable.
His tears are threatening to fall. He never cried. He didn't want to show he is vulnerable. He is a freaking rock star!
After the song, all he did is leave the studio.
When he left, a complete silence occurred.
Donnie is clearly upset by what happened. "Well, I can't blame him if my lead guitar work is horrible." He said as he took off April's guitar.
"Well, Raph had an attitude. Don't mind him." April said.
"But we never saw Raph that miserable." All eyes set to Leo when he said that. "That song is very special to him. It reminded him of someone… He loved dearly." Leo looked at Donnie, hoping he would understand him.
Donnie stood up firmly, "I'll go talk to him." He said at Leo and April, who just signal him to go ahead.
Raph stayed on the small stairs before the entrance inside. He breathed deeply and stared at the night sky. He remembered. Donnie remembered that song.
"Mind if I join you?"
His eyes blinked. That voice. Above is a shy Donatello, which had a bag of food.
"Well, it's my turn to give something."
("Donnie, you gave too much to me.")
He just patted the stair level as he looked away. He can't use the sarcastic remarks, he is too disoriented to talk and he doesn't want to make Donnie distance to him more.
"I didn't buy beer, only some sodas and buns. Is that alright to you?"
He got more overwhelmed by the flashing memories. It's getting a lot painful.
Donnie went back, all soaked and panting from the rain.
"I can't find any beer at this time… And I only got steamed buns… Is that alright?" he asked and put the plastic bag on the table.
He yelped when Raph's fists hit the table in displeasure.
"Why you can't get anything right?!" he shouted. He remembered he could see how scared Donnie is. He really wanted to beat the shell out of his former self. He treated him like a fucking servant, groupie or nothing at all. He didn't treat him as his boyfriend at all.
"Sir?" he asked with tone of concern. Raph blinked back.
"Y-Yeah… It's alright. I don't drink beer anymore." Raph grabbed a can of orange soda.
"R-Really?" Donnie said as he gets his own.
"Yeah…"
Awkward silence covered the scenery.
"Leo, I think we need to set out the mood for them." Mikey said while grinning. "We can play the song earlier."
Leo smiled as Mikey called Tim to grab the beat box and repeat the song.
Baby, you don't have to worry
'Coz there ain't no need to hurry
No one ever said that there's an easy way
"L-Look… I'm sorry I played the guitar really… Really bad." Donnie rubbed his arm automatically. Raph wondered why Donnie is apologizing for this.
Oh, shit.
"Donnie…" He spoke his name for the first time and it felt weird. "You played it great. I-It… Just reminded me of someone." He said. He can't believe he is talking his distress to someone and that someone is Don. He wouldn't even tell Leo anything about this. He is definitely disoriented and a lot worse than being drunk.
"I'm sorry… I'm not aware… I just loved that song… Especially when you played it."
This felt a knife sliced his heart. But wait… He never played it ever since he…
"I'm sorry… I just saw it in my T-Pod, you know, the bootlegged versions." Donnie tried to explain, as if not being like a stalker. When Raph didn't respond, he felt he talked too much. "I'm sorry Mr. Ra-"
"Raph… Just call me Raph." He said. "Short for Raphael Hamato."
When they're closing all their doors
And they don't want you anymore
This sounds funny but I'll say it anyway.
Donnie just blinked at him and smiled after. "I'm Donatello… Or Donnie."
He tried to stop those memories going on his head. Well, his father is right, about this karma. But he felt "better" in the definition when they are talking like this.
Lift your head, baby, don't be scared
Of the things that could go wrong along the way
You'll get by with a smile
Now it's time to kiss away those tears goodbye
They are both munching some buns when Michelangelo just screamed between them.
"Donnie! You didn't offer me some!" He wailed.
"Ah! Guys, did we take long? I'll go to-"
"Donnie, its fine. We just packed up the things since we are calling it a day. We still have practice tomorrow before the gig." April explained.
"O-Oh!" Donnie said as she gave the bass guitar to him and slung it over his shoulder.
"It was a great day, guys." Leo said. "I can tell your band will soar."
"Thanks, well, we better get going." April said. "Donnie, where will you go?"
"Uhh, right near to our meeting place. It's nearer." He said.
"I'll go with him. I left my bike there. Is that alright with you?" Raph asked. The bassist just nodded with a red shade on his cheeks.
"Are you sure, Donnie?" April said. "You can come with us if you want."
"It… It's alright, April. I'll let you know if I'm home." Donnie said.
"Leo, can we go to the convenience store before going back to the condo?" Mikey asked. Leo chuckled as he nodded. They knew the look as they bid their farewells and separated.
Leaving Raph and Donnie alone.
Now the reason why Raph is guilty is now revealed! Yes, it all started by a simple bet. The bet thing actually happened by this friend of mine. With A Smile is one of the 90s songs here in my country.
I made April do the lead of GNR because it's so badass in my head (I always play that lead riff just for fun). It's a coincidence Mikey had light blue eyes too! I can see Leo charming him while singing that lyric.