Well, you only need the light when it's burning low,

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,

Only know you love her when you let her go.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,

Only hate the road when you're missing home.

Only know you love her when you let her go,

And you let her go.

-Let Her Go, Passenger

Irma was surprised that Raph visited to an unusual time and also with someone.

"Good afternoon, Irma." Donnie greeted as she just nodded. The two took a seat at the Science and Technology section beside the one with the flowers.

Donnie brought out a book, which is about Physics.

Mikey is walking aimlessly, trying to calm his head down. He thought he was Leo's first love and his first boyfriend. He thought he was first in everything in Leo's life! First friend, first best friend, first love, first boyfriend, first kiss, first date, first dance… Yes, even first sex.

He was proud of that yet… This ruined everything.

He stopped by this tracks when he was being surrounded by a gang.

"Look, another of those costume freaks! You walked in the wrong turf, you little piece of shit!"

"You know…" Donnie said. "I often saw flowers and gifts in that spot. Irma told me it's from a man mourning to the loss of his love. I think it's sweet."

Raph just remained silent for a couple of seconds. "I'm that man."

Donnie blinked and gasped.

"I'm deeply sorry for your loss… I'm not aware."

"Donnie, its okay… It's alright." He muttered while staring at the emptied spot with dried purple flowers. It's extremely awkward that Donnie is the loss that he just said earlier but in his condition, Raph thinks that he will not understand.

"If you want to talk about it to feel better, I'm all ears." Donnie offered.

This is the chance to express everything even though Donnie doesn't remember a thing. As long he is there listening to him, its fine. It's still the same Donnie. The same Donnie that loved him before.

"He was a big fan of my band before, especially to me. I was a little off to him because if I could remember, he was in a different culture. He left it to practice bass and join my band. Then, Casey and I had a bet that if I made him fall in love and stayed in a relationship with him in a month; he'll give the vintage guitar I wanted."

That simple bet controlled Donnie's life. He remembered how he used his affections to him. To sum it up, Raph is unforgivable.

"I courted him and he became my boyfriend. But I didn't treat him like one. I'm the worst boyfriend. I become disinterested in dates. He became my groupie carrying all of my stuff. I'm flirting with women even in front of him. I didn't take care of him when he was sick and so on… But the worst part is… I humiliated him."

Donnie's eyes widened, seemed to be the subject they talked about last night is the same person. Their bassist was his lover. But he felt extreme sadness and grief from the lead guitarist.

"But I fell in love to him already. I don't know why I did that… Maybe because of jealousy. He didn't talk to me… I want to apologize and start over if he wanted to. I called him but he didn't want to answer."

"Donnie… Donnie… Please answer the phone. Please meet with me outside tonight. I'm going to show you something."

It's been Raph's fifth voice mail. He is frustrated, he had to show up. But his anger is rising up…

"If you didn't show up, I'm going to break up with you."

"It's the worst thing I've ever said but he did show up… He climbed on my bike… We drove off and it was raining… Before I could, it…" He started to shudder and covered his eyes. "Next thing I knew, he was gone."

Donnie knew his deeds are unimaginable and he deserved it yet he knew it made Raph devastated. Raph can feel Donnie's comforting hand rubbing on his back.

"I didn't know where he is buried. But he always loved this library and that spot. I visit him every day, giving him flowers and books like I should've done that time he and I are still together… And saying sorry every time. I want him to know…" Raph looked at the empty spot. Donnie can see Raph had sad, tired eyes. "That I don't want to make it up with him… I know he will not forgive me…" he sniffed. "But I just want him to know I love him dearly."

Raph took out his wallet and picked up a small silver ring.

"I was supposed to give this to him that night. That he and I will have a clean start. That I'll be the boyfriend he dreamed of. Yet, as you know, it didn't happen. I always sing that song for him every night." He mumbled, finally his tears are flowing freely as Donnie witnessed it. In front of him is not a famous and talented rock star but a broken hearted man. "I didn't have the courage to smoke, drink beer or even do drugs because it reminded me of him scolding me. I want him to know I've changed. I want his forgiveness and the opportunity to love him." Raphael placed the ring beside the flowers.

They remained silent.

"I think he knows you didn't love him before." Donnie said. "I think he always hoped for you to love him back. His love is rare."

"I know… And I'm stupid not to notice it." Raph sighed. ("If you only knew Donnie…")

"Do you think he'll forgive me?"

Donnie put his thinking cap on. "Well, I'm not the guy for that. I think he already has and he just wanted you to be happy." Donnie said and he placed his hand on top of Raph's. Raph's eyes went to the gesture.

He interlaced his fingers with his. He felt his soft, delicate hands.

"Thank you… Thank you very much…" Raph whispered. He can see Donnie blushing at them holding hands. Donnie is there supporting him. Raph felt a huge lift from his shoulders like a big rock is gone. But it could be better if Donnie had his memory back. But he had a feeling that if that happened, his judgment will change if he knew everything.

Yet, he still felt very happy.

"I think he is in a happy place." Donnie said and smiled at him. Raph knew if this is the old Donnie, the happiness is being in his arms and Raph will give it right away, including his heart.

Irma is pleased that Raphael's burden is lessening significantly.

The two still held hands when they went out of the library. They stopped only to learn that it is still raining and its worse. A flash of lightning made Donnie removed his hand from Raph's grasp and covered his ears. He flinched when a loud thunder is heard.

"What are you sitting down there for? We got to go!" Raph said, being irritated. The subsequent lightning and thunder made Donnie immobile.

"Don't be a wimp! Why are you so scared in a freaking lightning and thunder?!"

He face palmed himself, says the one who had a phobia to insects, specifically cockroaches.

"You know, lightnings are beautiful." He said as he made Donnie to stand up and put Raph's hands to his ears instead of his hands. He heard the purple clad turtle squeaked and flinched again by the lightning.

But they are great to see in another perspective. He didn't hear any thunder because of Raph's big hands on the sides of his head.

"I'm a scientist yet I despised this particular phenomenon in weather." Donnie spoke. "But thank you. Your hands are warm." He giggled.

This time Raph is the one who blushed. They remained like that until the rain is in a drizzle and forms of lightning and thunder are not visible anymore.

The couple started to walk to the car when Raph froze and held Don's arm. The brainiac can sense extreme fear to Raph's face.

"Oh!" Donnie said when he saw it. He looked around and saw a large stick. He picked it up and killed the cockroach.

"Sorry, I forgot your phobia." He said.

"… How did you know?" Raph asked. He knew Donnie didn't have memories from the past.

"The whole fandom knows." He giggled as he gets in the car. Raph had a neutral face when he got in the car and drives off.

"You really had to show me that fandom of mine next time."

Raph's phone is blaring again.

"Donnie, can you pick it up from my pocket?" he asked. Donnie nodded and got the phone.

"It's Leo," he said as he pressed the "Answer".

"Hello?"

"Raph?! Donnie?!" The other line seemed stressed and livid. "HELP! Mikey is-"

"Leo, calm down. What happened to Mikey?" Donnie asked with concern. This is his best friend they are talking about.

"He passed by a gang territory! He is injured on his arm!" Leo said, starting to panic. "I'm on my car with him right now!"

"Okay, let's meet at your house and I'll treat him." Donnie said.

"O… Okay." Leo stammered. "Raph knows the way!"

"Alright. Just calm down, Leo. Ready some bandages and water." Donnie added.

"Okay…" Leo said and breathes out. Raph can feel the tense in Leo's voice.

Donnie bid goodbye to Leo and closed the call.

"Is Leo's house far from here?" Donnie asked.

'It's not that far. We will be there shortly." He answered. "How will you able to cure Mikey?" He asked then.

"I had my medic bag with my bass bag…" He explained yet a little bashful. "I'm a trained medic."

Raph got a little surprised by the information. But he smiled after. His Donnie really is a full package. He wanted to punch his past self that he already got the right one before. But he let him go.

"Well, hold on tight. I'll speed a little to get there."

This one, he will never let Donnie go.

The one with the ITALICS are Raph's flashbacks or can be called as memory triggers. I see a lot of fanfics regarding amnesia that the one who had memory loss is the one who had triggers, I made it the opposite since it adds effect because of Raph's guilt and conscience.
The one with BOLD are the text messages.
The one with (" ") is usually Raph's thoughts.