AN: I continue to be honored by your support. Thank you for your PM's, reviews, follows and favorites. I apologize for erratic updates, but as I'm sure you can imagine the content of this story can be difficult to write.
TRIGGER WARNING: Self harm
Regina quickly approached the yellow bug, seeing that her lover and son were sitting in the back seat together. Henry had his arm around Emma's shoulders protectively, and her head was resting on top of his. A loving smile appeared on the mayor's face as she opened the driver side door, reaching into the back seat to take the blonde's hand in hers. She gave it a gentle squeeze before turning the key that was already in the ignition. She pulled away from the curb and began heading back to the mansion.
"Wait, Regina can you please drive me to Mary Margret's apartment?"
"I don't think that's such a good idea Emma..."
"I just want to collect some of my stuff. Then we can go back home."
"Okay dear." Regina was secretly thrilled that Emma had referred to the mansion as "home".
She pulled up outside the apartment building, pleased to note that David's beat up pick up wasn't in its usual spot. "I'll be right back guys, don't bother coming in this will be quick."
Entering the apartment Emma practically ran up into her room and began packing a bag. She grabbed her lap top, her music, a few books and most of her clothes. She then grabbed a tattered box from the back of her closet and decided she could call everything else a wash.
She ran into the bathroom to grab her toiletries, pausing for a moment before reaching up and grabbing her blade from it's hiding spot on top of the shower stall. She left the apartment she had briefly shared with her parents with barely a glance behind her. Anything she was leaving behind she no longer needed in her life.
Once back home it became clear to Regina that Henry was sad and confused after seeing the way the grandparents had hurt his mother. It was also clear that Emma wasn't ready to talk about it. She told Henry he could watch a movie while she and Emma prepared lunch. Once she heard the opening theme of Harry Potter, Regina knew they'd have some time to decompress before being inundated with questions from their overly curious child.
She watched as Emma slouched over the table while she began preparing sandwiches for lunch. She decided to give the blonde a few minutes with her thoughts and didn't try to talk to her until after had an appetizing platter of finger foods prepared for the three of them. Regina approached the table and placed her hands gently on the sheriffs stooped shoulders. Emma immediately stiffened under her touch, but Regina didn't move her hands. After a moment the blonde sighed and relaxed, leaning back so her head was resting on the brunette's chest.
"I love you, " Regina said before placing a gentle kiss on top of Emma's head. "Now let's join our son for some food and couch snuggles." Without waiting for a response she grabbed the tray of food and headed into the living room.
After several minutes the sheriff joined her lover and son on the couch. They made an Emma sandwich and put the plate of food on her lap practically forcing her to eat something. Although the blonde did her best to look engaged, it wasn't hard for Regina to see through her fake smiles and laughter. Once the food was finished she brought the platter into the kitchen and made a discrete phone call. As the credits were rolling and Emma was still visibly uncomfortable she decided to put the poor woman out of her misery.
"Henry, how would you like to spend the night with your father and Hook on board his ship?"
"Really?!" Henry yelled.
"Yes, really darling." His response was to run upstairs and begin packing his over night bag.
The queen reached out and placed her hand on Emma's tense thigh, "I'm going to bring Henry over to the docks. Why don't you unpack your things? I'll be back in a little while."
"Thanks Gina" Emma murmured. She unfolded her long limbs from the couch and followed her son up the stairs.
As Emma closed the bedroom door behind her set left out a sigh of relief. It was so amazing to have Henry and Regina to support her, but she had always gone through things like this on her own. She had no idea what to do with the love they were offering her. She set about unpacking her clothes into the drawers Regina had already cleaned out, hanging her collection of leather jackets in the closet next to Regina's business suits.
She pulled out and plugged in her lap top and iPod, putting on her go to play list. She put her toiletry bag on top of the dresser and reached into her bag for the last item. Carefully lifting the lid of the tattered box Emma began removing each item reverently.
There were a few pictures of Emma at various stages of her childhood. In each she was wearing clothes that were a little too big or a little too small. Her hair fell in tangled curtains around her face. Her eyes were slightly sunken from lack of proper nutrition and her skin was slightly too pale from lack of sunlight. Next were several letters she had received from a few of her foster siblings over the years. She couldn't bring herself to read them. Then there were a few snap shots of her and Neil, before he had abandoned her. There was one picture of her holding baby Henry, and she ran her fingers gently over his tiny face before placing it on her new night stand.
Last there was her baby blanket. The only piece of her parents that she had for so long. Her name had been carefully stitched unto the fabric, beautiful ribbon had been woven into the edges. It had taken a lot of time and care to make that blanket. To her it had symbolized hope. It had shown that someone loved her at some point, even if it was only briefly. Now that blanket seemed full of lies. As she clutched it in trembling fingers a sob was wrenched from her throat. She threw the blanket on the ground, grabbed her toiletry bag and ran into the bathroom.
Regina came home to the sound of the shower running upstairs. She figured she had a few minutes until Emma was done, so she poured herself a glass of cider and began preparing dinner. She had prepared root vegetables and stuffed chicken breasts to roast. After putting the food in the oven, Regina was surprised to hear that the shower was still running. She gulped down the rest of her cider, turned off the oven and headed upstairs, a knot of dread forming in her gut.
The brunette found the discarded pile of memories on the bed, and tripped on the blanket strewn on the floor. She picked it up, and gaped at the embroidery. Knowing the pain this particular memory must hold for Emma she went straight for the in suite bathroom, not surprised to find the door locked. With a flick of her wrist the door was unlocked and open. She was met with a face full of steam. Under the humidity she could pick up the faint scent of copper. Taking a deep steadying breath she quickly stripped off her clothing and made it to the large shower stall in a few long strides.
Regina steeled herself and wrenched the door open. She found her lover curled up on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chin. The water fell against her inert body. Blood was trickling down the drain and pooling thickly under Emma's prone form. The queen threw herself into the spray, belatedly realizing how hot the water was. She again flicked her wrist, adjusting it to a more tolerable temperature.
She knelt down and scooped Emma into her arms in an uncharacteristic display of brute strength. Placing Emma in her lap Regina took a seat on the tile, leaning her back against the marble wall. From this position she could see how much damage was actually done. A discarded razor blade lay in a puddle of blood. Emma's entire body trembled and was warm to the touch from spending so long under the overly hot water. She was pink, but not burned for which Regina was grateful.
Looking down at the blonde's thighs Regina was surprised at how much Emma's injuries upset her. She knew the blonde was a cutter. She herself was a cutter, and had often done similar damage. She was unprepared for how overwhelmed she was seeing the actively bleeding lacerations on someone else. For a moment she considered using magic to heal Emma, but ultimately decided against it. She knew how livid if the roles were reversed and Emma somehow stripped her of her own injuries. These cuts were the only things Emma felt in control of, and Regina would never take that control from the woman she loved.
After several long minutes of being silently rocked in Regina's lap Emma began to come back to herself. She slowly uncurled her legs, looking down to see blood still running off her thighs and mingling with the water around them. She had a moment of panic looking at her blood all over Regina but was stopped in her tracks by a firm hand under her chin. She was forced to the make the eye contact she had been avoiding and was instantly relieved. All she found looking back at her was love and understanding.
She leaned in a placed a needy kiss on generous lips. Her kiss was returned, but it was obvious that Regina wasn't going to let things escalate. Pulling away Emma looked into dark brown eyes, "I just need to feel something." she said.
"I know you do. But first we have to get ourselves cleaned up a little and then I need to make sure you're taken care of."
They stood in unison and began washing each other. Regina avoided Emma's thighs, focusing on removing the blood from the rest of her body and hair. The cuts were still bleeding, and she knew that they were deep. Once satisfied they were both as clean as they could get, Emma turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Regina wrapped them both in luxurious towels, and folded down the lid on the toilet. "Sit." she commanded.
Emma sat and watched as Regina gathered supplies from under the sink. "This is going to hurt." she warned as she knelt on the floor in front of Emma and began cleaning the her thighs with antibacterial soap and warm water. The only sign of discomfort the blonde gave was a slight tensing of her muscles. Regina was efficient and soon had the many lacerations pulled together with butterfly stitches and covered in clean gauze. Satisfied that her lover was no longer bleeding or in immediate danger of infection, she scooped her up in strong arms and carried her to their bed.
She placed Emma at the top of the bed, and the blonde could only look on in awe as Regina neatly folded her blanket and put it in the bottom of the old box. She covered the blanket in a layer of photos and letters, only stopping once to trace the contours of Emma's young face. She put the lid on the box and placed it on top of the dresser. She then climbed into bed next to Emma and opened her arms.
Emma didn't hesitate, she threw herself against Regina and took the comfort that was offered. The blonde wasn't even startled when with a snap of her fingers the brunette had them dressed in pajamas and under the covers. The mayor rubbed soothing circles on her back and gently combed her fingers through her slightly damp hair.
"I love you Gina. Thank you." Emma said in a small voice.
"And I love you Em. You don't need to thank me, this is just what you do when you love someone." Regina replied.
Emma grasped her queen by the wrist and placed Regina's hand over her heart. She then mirrored the gesture and placed her own hand on her lovers chest. The princess quickly fell asleep, comforted by the pulse of the strong heart beneath her hand.
AN: Longest chapter yet. Thanks for reading.