Embrace so much tighter
This could be our last together
Heaven sheds tears for the wounded hearts
Our forever has been torn apart

Is this the beginning of our last dance?
Once around the floor, can we do it again?
I feel the thrill from words we say,
I love you.
-Endless A Silent Whisper, Urbandub

The next day, as usual, Raph woke up in the afternoon. He was greeted by the munching turtle.
"Hey, lil guy, we're going to buy some things for you because of course, you're coming with me in the tour." He said as he tapped the head slightly, Spike seemed to acknowledge it.
"You know, I'm your owner, right? So, we need to change your name. Not like I don't like Donnie's preference. It's just, it's weird calling "Spike" to two people, right?" Raph chuckled as he gathered some clothes. "Hmm, what would be your new name?" he wondered as he put his pants on and placed his medicine on his pocket. He doesn't want Don to be upset that he forgot to drink them.
He stared at his poster of Saul Hudson, who is half naked and holding a double neck guitar. On it is a silver penned signature from the said rock star. He admired that lead guitarist and his former band. Before, he dreamed and just listened to their albums. Now, they shared the stage together.
"I know! Your new name is Slash!" He shouted in glee. The turtle didn't seem to mind. "But…" He halted and thinking, "We can put it to the other Spike… Hmm… Since his aura is like Slash after all." He mumbled as he pressed Don's contact number to call him.
"Donnie?" Raph talked as he trying to get his keys.
"… Yes?"
Donnie seemed to sound weak.
"I'm coming there. Are you alright?" Raph asked.
"Yeah, Raph. I'm… I'm alright. I'll see you, okay?" Donnie answered as if he is trying hard to speak. Raph closed the call as he is standing beside his motorcycle. Yet, he had this urge to use the car instead. He got on the car and drove away, he had this heavy feeling there is something wrong with Don. Horrified by this thinking, he drove faster.
As he got there, he tried to calm himself down and knocked on the door. He waited but Don didn't answer. He picked his cellphone to call Donnie but he isn't answering either. It made his anxiety go higher. He noticed Don's door is opened and slowly went inside.
"Donnie, I'm coming in, okay?" he said. The living room is too dark. He tried to look for a light switch and once he found it, he flicked it.
His eyes wondered until he saw an unconscious Donatello beside the couch.
"DON!" he yelled.

He rushed quickly to aid Donnie. He was covered with a lot of blankets.
"Don! Donnie! Wake up!" Raph tapped his face lightly, only to notice Don's getting delirious by high temperature.
"Shit! Don! Hang on, okay!" Raph trembled as he noticed Donnie's breathing is irregular and shallow. He carried the bassist outside and laid him gently in the seat then lowered the upper part so Donnie can fully lie down. He hurriedly ran to the other side, burn on the gas and sped off.
"Donnie! We're almost there!"
("Donnie, please! I can't lose you again. I can't…")

"Leo, where's Donnie?" Raph asked. His wounds are minor so he is able to heal faster and can get released from the hospital.
The couple just looked at each other, with sadness plastered on their faces.
"Raph… Donnie is gone." Leo replied.
He must've heard it wrong. He is definitely loopy from the medicines. Confusion etched on his face.
"What? What are you saying? I don't-" Raph halted when Leo's hand went on his shoulder. He stared at Leo, who seemed to hide his sorrow by the usual stoic and serious posture. Meanwhile, Mikey is more open. He had grief and sadness all over.
"He's gone. Donnie's GONE." Leo stated, putting more force on the second sentence he said. "He's never coming back."
Cold waves seemed to wash to the lead guitarist. The words entering his ears are very deafening. He is shaking by the revelation. All of the things he wanted to confess will not be heard anymore.
"… What?" He choked. His sight got blurred because the nightmare. His tears fully went down on his cheeks.
His mind and body just want to lose control. He started to punch everything in his sight. Leo is able to grab Raph.
"No! No, no, no, no, no! No! DONATELLO!" He screamed. He hoped that this is a joke or a prank, that he will meet that warm smile again!
"Fuck it! Let me fucking go!" He shouted. His tears are all over his face by his actions.
"RAPH! Get a hold of yourself! There's nothing we can do!" The vocalist yelled and restrained him.
He wanted to do many things for Donnie. He is supposed to propose a new start with his bassist! He is supposed to give him flowers, treat him to dates, make him feel special and show his love to him!
The adrenaline of anger simmered down as Raph only sobbed and gone to the path of remorse and misery to the loss of his beloved.

He held his head as he sat down and supposed to call April. His worried state to the condition of his love must've triggered that flashback, that horrible flashback that changed their lives. That made him walked to his two year atonement and mourning.
"Thanks for taking care of Donnie for me, Raph. I'm on my way there."
"It's no problem, April. It's my fault anyway."
"Well, he is stable now. I'll notify the others." Said the other line.
After saying their farewells, Raph went inside and saw the resting Donnie.

"Raphie…" Don whispered. "Dinner's ready."
Raph just looked at him and grumbled. He placed Donnie on the couch. After his dinner, Raph just put some tablets and a glass of water on the side table.
"I'm going to the gig," he said.
This is the time when he arrived, he saw April taking care of Donnie. He's been delirious so she rushed there to take care of him.
Raph never did the job right. He never took care or even care to Donnie.

Raph sat beside him and held his hand. He felt the sweat of Donnie's hand. He hated being sick that time because Donnie caught his sickness.

"I'm sorry, Donnie… I'm a bad date to you." He whispered. As much he doesn't want to say it because it's true but it's been bottled up for two years already.
"No, you're not."
Raph looked up. Donnie is awake and smiling weakly. Burst of energy quickly charged to Raph's body.
"Donnie! Do you need anything? Are you feeling better?" He asked.
"Yes, Raphie… I'm okay."
"Don't strain yourself. Rest, okay? You needed that a lot so you can go tour with us."
"What?" he croaked.
"My band wanted your band to front act in the tour." Raph stated. Despite the condition, Donnie smiled cutely and had the aura of excitement.
"You rest, okay?" Raph said as he got his phone and pressed a contact.
"Hello?"
"Leo, can you move the date of our tour?" Raph said. Donnie's eyes widened. "Donnie's need to rest-"
"Leo, I'm alright. We shouldn't bother to move-"
"I'm already on it. April told us what happened. After this reschedule meeting, I will be there. I know Mikey and the others are on the way." Leo spoke on the other line. "Tell Donnie he must be in full bed rest."
"I got him, Leo. Don't worry." Raph reassured then closed his call.
"I don't want to be a burden. I'm already better that we can continue the tour in the original date."
"Don, you are not a burden. Just rest and you're not better. After this, we'll go buy Spike's things. You go relax, I'll be right here if you need me." Raph smirked.
Donnie giggled then coughed a little. Raph's body moved on its own. He leaned forward and pecked Donnie's cheek. He can see Donnie had a reddish shade. It's really cute.
After a few hours, Raph got some food for him.
"I got some soup. Here, let me feed you." The lead guitarist said as he holds the spoon. "Ah! No need, Raphie! I can do it myself." Donnie protested but only met by a spoonful of soup. "No complaints. Eat." Raph ordered, which made Don's mouth to open, with a blush on his cheeks.

The bands soon arrived just as Raph finished feeding Donnie. April ran towards Don and frantically checking him.
"Are you sure you're alright? Did Raph treat you well?" April demanded. Raph sternly looked to her by her questioning.
"It's alright, April." Donnie spoke softly. "Raphie is taking care of me well."
"I'm glad you're alright, Donnie!" Mikey wailed as he embraced his best friend, which made Donnie squeaked.
"I'm better now. Don't worry." Donnie reassured as he hugged back. When he was released by Mikey's grasp, Leo started to speak up.

"We moved the tour three days from now so Donnie can recover and also more time to get everything done. All of us will be in a band tour bus but the bedrooms should be shared." He explained. "Mikey and I will share my room."
"April will share with Casey. Don't worry, it's a double deck." He dryly said. "Tim and Spike will share." Casey just smirked at the annoyed April.
"And then, Raph and Donnie will share Raph's room." The two that was mentioned got stiffened.
"Hey! Shouldn't I be beside Donnie because I'm her guardian?" April reasoned.
"Nope. No choice, yellow pants. Leader's final choice." Casey said, like making second the motion to Leo's decision. "And I don't like sharing with Raph, he snores." Casey continued, smirking.
"Hey!" Raph yelled. "You freaking-!"
"Guys, remember this is a year tour. We will be literally all over the place. Don, when you get better, I want to talk to you about security. Also, there are other offers that are not sure yet so it might take longer and might have the opportunity to travel international again. That's it for now." Leo finished.
"Yes! I'm going to buy a lot of food for us to munch on!" Mikey squealed as Leo just nodded. Meanwhile, the dating couple is furiously blushing.

After a joyous chat, the rest left Donnie and Raph for the patient to rest.
"Raphie, you can go and rest. I'm alright now, actually." Donnie said while rubbing Raph's shoulder. "You got to feed Spike, you know."
"I already told the "other" Spike to feed him." He stated as he gently cupped Don's cheeks. The patient smiled and rubbed his face on it. He never did this to Donnie before. They are still dating yet their progress is improving.
"Raphie, I can sleep on the floor when we share your room together." Donnie spoke.
"Shell no!" Raph objected. "I'll be the one on the floor!"
"No! Raphie! It's your room!" Donnie reasoned.
"Why are we arguing over this, Donnie? If you want to sleep alone, it's alright really." Raph said. He is a little sad that he can't feel Donnie beside him but hey, that's what love does. Treating him like a queen.
"No… It's just… I'm a hugger." He shyly spoke and turned his head away from Raph's gaze. "I mean, I don't want you to be uncomfortable." He halted as Don felt strong arms encircling around him and gently pressed his head on Raph's shoulder. Raph is very happy that Don didn't protest. He really wanted to give hugs to him, he waited two years for this and it's worth it.
"Hey, I have no problems with huggers." Raph whispered then turned his head, pecked Don's cheek again and embraced closer. He wanted to feel Donnie's warmness and how comfortable and happy he is in his arms. Raph closed his eyes.

"Where is Don?" Raph asked the doctor that was assigned. "I… I want to see him." He said. Even though Donnie's gone, he still wanted to see his face and bid goodbye. He still wanted to show his affections for the first and last time.
"His guardian took his body and decided to bury it away from here." The doctor simply replied.
"Can you give us the address?" Leo inquired politely. Raph started to feel uneasy.
"The guardian didn't leave any information." The doctor answered. "I'm sorry."
Raph's sight got black. He is screaming again, screaming his deceased lover's name. He didn't get the chance to say "I love you, Donnie." Despite his yelling, he heard Leo and Mikey trying to calm him down and constricting him from any brash movements. He can't give flowers nor visit Donnie's grave. He can't speak his love for him nor his apologies. Donnie just poof in an instant. He is on his knees, his tears cascading down from his eyes.
He didn't even reciprocate the last affection Donnie did.
An embrace.
A simple embrace and he didn't return it back. He regretted he didn't do it. He didn't even let Donnie experience having a new fresh relationship with him. He lost him.
He lost everything.
"Donnie, I love you."

"I love you too, Raphie."
He blinked, letting his tears fall more because of the memory he wanted to bury but can't. He glared at the patient. "Raphie, are you crying? What's wrong?" Don asked with worry. He heard what he just heard, right?
"Donnie… Say it again..." He choked, trying to speak straight.

"… I love you too, Raphie."