Disclaimer: I own nothing.
You are not going to escape these powerful things called my eyes. Where are you?! I, Elsa Pierce, will find you, you little-
"Honey, I'm home!" A shrill voice thundered through my ears causing me to jerk back in surprise, banging my head on the top shelf of the refrigerator in the process. Luckily, it wasn't the lower one, otherwise I'm sure my hair definitely would have tangled in the bars.
"Shit!" Endure the pain! "W-what the hell Punzie?!" I had basically crawled all the way in searching for my secret stash of chocolate to add to my mug when Rapunzel's over-joyous voice erupted behind me. Of course you're home, idiot. It's like six o'clock.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were conjuring up snow particles in there. You know there's already some outside, right?" She, with that stupid smug grin of hers, leaned against the counter. "And can't you turn the heat up? It's freezing balls in here!"
"The fridge was just-" My eyes caught sight of her legs suddenly. "Well, maybe- just maybe it's 'freezing balls' in here because you're dressed like a hooker? Summer's over you know." I straightened, deciding that maybe I'd hidden my chocolate in the cabinet instead. As I made my way to said cabinets, my hand came up to rub the back of my abused head. Girl!
"So I like to sleep in the nude." She shrugged, pulling herself up on the counter.
"You sle- well, I'm glad you at least have something covering your- your-" I pointedly looked away, unconsciously grabbing another mug, leaving the chocolate for now because I didn't feel like sharing my secret extra dose with the already hyper woman.
"Naughty bits? Privates? Tits?" She offered and brushed my glare off like it was the snow she'd mentioned earlier.
"Does your depravity know no bounds?" I asked hastily, jabbing a mug into her hands.
"No." Rapunzel answered just as quickly and slid off the counter so she could pour her own cup of hot chocolate. "Speaking of, I conducted some research for you. Well, mainly on that redhead of yours."
"Do I want to know?" I asked half interested and also thankful that I could relax somewhat since I decided to take it easy on my students this week. Whether or not Anna's stunt had anything to do with it, her impending birthday or, to my reluctance, Jack's return.
"Possibly." She drawled. "Are you on birth control?"
I spit the carefully sipped liquid out of my mouth, causing her to snort in laughter.
"W-w-what kind of question is that?!" I choked out in horror. god she asked it so damn casually!
"So you aren't." It wasn't a question and I refused to dignify myself with an answer. Of course not! I hadn't even felt obligated to act on those feelings until I met Anna... "No matter, it's not like she can get you pregnant even if she wanted to- well, if you two tried anyway."
"E-excuse me? Since when is it alright to go snooping through things that are clearly none of your business?" I growled, knowing she let that slip in one ear and out the other.
"Should I take offense?" She grinned. "Besides, sex is so much more delicious when you don't have to use a condom. No awkward fumbling with the wrapping, no barrier, just raw, hot-"
I left my still full coffee mug on the counter with spillage all over it as well as I shouldered by Rapunzel out of the kitchen. Get away, gotta get away! I only made it to the living room when I felt her grab my wrist.
"Oh, please I was kidding! You damned virgin." She joked.
"Could you not be so- so-" I know my face was so hot that if I stepped outside, steam would be rolling off in waves from it. "Provocative?" At her blank look, I rolled my eyes. "Perverted, open, suggestive, sexual-"
"You had me at perverted, mein lieber. Fine I'll tone down my dirty mouth." She went back to get our mugs and gestured for me to sit on the couch. Once I did, she thankfully sat on the recliner. "Now, back to Anna Jr..."
"Hans, you toss him in that dumpster and I swear I will suspend you right here and now!" I growled like I was the principal himself. Whether or not I had the power to do so was unknown to me but really, I couldn't stand to drag Olaf out of there again. Three times this week was enough. Seriously, there was snow out here too! The nerve of that guy.
"Right. I'll also talk to your football coach to make sure you won't get to play again." An uncanny voice I did not, repeat; did not want to hear sounded behind me. Hans straightened a bit and thankfully released Olaf who gave the guy behind me a dumb look before shoving past Hans.
"You do realize football season is over right?" I couldn't help but snap at him. I have so many inappropriate things to say to you, asshole. Glaring at Frost, I had no choice but to watch as Hans managed to excuse himself.
"You do realize I'm a senior too? So I couldn't play football anymore even if I wanted to." He muttered and I just about called after him about mocking me when none other than Rapunzel appeared, glaring at him first and then directing it to Frost.
"Ah, I thought I smelled a horrible stink down this way. What's up Rapist? How's it hanging? If its still there." She grinned and I felt him stiffen behind me (god, not literally). "Perhaps we can neuter you before they cart you off to jail so those well built beasts don't have to worry about you trying to be the domin-"
"Rapunzel! Shut the hell up!" I finally stepped in, almost horrified. Almost.
"Sorry Sweetie, but you forgot your lunch this morning. You're so forgetful sometimes." She said in such a suggestive way, I felt my face warm a bit. Aw hell, what are you doing?! As discretely as possible, I darted my eyes around because right then was normally Anna's cue to show up out of nowhere. "Wouldn't want you fainting from fatigue now, Snow Leopard. Especially after last night."
Last night? You mean me catching up on Dr. Who and you snarking the entire time about how ridiculous the whole thing was? I'd just about snorted indignantly when the brave brunette then pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek. It left me just as stunned as she was most likely hoping and there was nothing I could do about it except gape at her.
"Wha-" Frost just about stepped in when Rapunzel shot him a challenging look.
"Can it Jack Frost. You will stay away from Elsa or I'll personally go to Weselton myself with my own story of how I walked in on you trying to molest her."
"Would you just let me explain!" Frost pleaded, looking more uncomfortable by the second. What the hell is she up to? I found my own vocals useless as I stared at the stand off. Stand off? No, this can't be-
"All the same, she's taken now and I'll not have you hitting on her every second of every day. christ, you even do it in front of her classroom. A classroom full of her students." She chided bitterly like we were actually...dating! Ugh, Punzie this won't look good to Anna. Again, I looked around and saw who I was at a crossroads of happy and horrified to see. Fuck! Please stay there Anna!
"Wait, you mean you- her- Elsa you're gay?" Frost's eyes widened in his own aided realization.
"Uh-" The first word I could muster since she showed up and it wasn't even a word! Actually, Anna was staring directly at me before sweeping her eyes behind me and she looked completely torn about charging this way or continuing on her own way.
"Totally-" Rapunzel started and I finally snapped away just as Merida hurled herself on Anna's shoulders.
"Punzie, I am perfectly capable of defending myself here." I growled, glaring at her too. Wait, was I? What were they talking about? Damn it. While they waited, I crossed my arms defiantly, trying desperately to pick up where they'd left off.
"Well? Are you?" He insisted and the look he wore was one that said he already knew the answer.
"W-why do you think I kept turning you down?" Was what came out of my mouth. Whether it was out of spite or pity, I didn't know but actually, I really just didn't like him. And the truth shall set you free. I inwardly snorted at myself. Nerd.
"You... think our principal will approve of this- this- fucking-" He raked a hand through his hair like it was really any of his business. "You're a goddamn dyke!" So he had to go that way? My eyes widened in surprise.
"Did it ever cross your mind that it very well may have been you that made her begin to bat for the other team?" Rapunzel had a wicked smile on her face at his enraged one. I swear he was as red as a tomato, like a father figure who had recently walked in on his daughter making out with her girlfriend.
"You're disgusting, fucking gross and I am reporting the both of you!" He bellowed and rushed off.
"Yeah, run to Mother like the little bitch you are!" Rapunzel called and I had to clap a hand over her loud mouth.
"Do you have any idea what you just did?" I hissed at the giggling brunette.
"Enlighten me, Elsa." She said after a minute. "You really think the Weasel can do anything except tell us to keep our hands to ourselves? At least now that jack-hole won't bother you as much and the fact that you can say 'yes, I go to school with the love of my life!' Is a bonus and you are welcome." Again, she kissed my cheek "think of me as your insanely hot gay beard while you stealthily screw the brains out of your pretty redhead. Or you know- the other way around-"
"Rapunzel!" I shouted with my face red as can be and lashed out at her while she jumped away from me in glee.
Honestly, that woman! I refused to think that she'd helped me, even with all the information she'd laid out on me the night before, but deep down I knew she did...in some small way. What if Anna had seen her kissing my cheek? Anna. The image of Anna's apparent naughtiness the other day sent pleasant shivers up my spine, but I relented. Frost was one thing but she still wasn't too keen on the brunette (regardless that her only intentions were platonic ones now). Anna was indeed a jealous girlfriend and I found myself grinning like an idiot. Odin,the very mention of Frost's name had elicited such a strong reaction, I feared that after that stunt, Anna would be a little more bold in our relationship. And now, thanks to that kinky brunette, I didn't have to worry about getting pr- no, I that had not been an issue before hand and I refused to make it one now.
As for the beard part? Whatever that is? I guess that really was a bonus, though I did need to inform Anna about it right away.
Regardless, that thought made my mind go back to had clearly danced around the idea that that particular someone I was with at this school to Frost and said person had remained unnamed and to any passing person she very may as well have been talking about Giselle . Nobody would have suspected Anna- ugh, that stealthy little-
"I already said that Eric had the clippers! You're in on this right, Olaf?" I heard Luis ask conspicuously when I passed Sven's classroom. It made me stop in my tracks when I also heard Merida whisper something to Anna. It might have been hushed, but her accent was distinctive enough and I knew she didn't really talk to anyone else, let alone whisper to. Sven has them in his class too?
"Well, yeah. I saw him shove Anna into the lockers the other day." Was Olaf's sharp reply and when I stealthily peeked in, I saw him give a shy look in said redhead's direction. Even if she wasn't looking at him, I felt my jaw clench unceremoniously, just slightly, but all the same...that look. I was aware that Olaf had a thing for Anna. But seeing it in action. My god, Elsa are you jealous? I pushed the thought away. Why should I be jealous when Anna is-
"Hey St. James, do you have a date for prom?" Olaf asked suddenly and both of our eyes snapped to the dark-haired boy.
Uh...what about now, Pierce? Jealous yet?
A/N: honestly, I'm enjoying Rapunzel's...shamelessness in this fic and I'm sure we all have that one friend (in my case it might as well be me) ^^ Tootles~