Chapter 5: Drawn To Crime Like A Magnet

You know, sometimes it's hard to come up with a good chapter title based on what happens in the chapter. But, I think I did a good job with this one. Trust me, you'll see. Oh, did I give away the joke? Nah, probably not. You'll see what I mean by that later this chapter. But, enough of my rambling, let's get to the story already!

xxx

What Sun expected when he went to the VCPD was to arrest some people, get into car chases, and say cool one-liners as something blew up in the background. What he didn't expect was him spending his first day on the job sitting in a shitty van, after arresting absolutely no one the entire time he'd been out on patrol.

Seriously, he had started his patrol around 9:30 in the morning, and now it was 1:45 in the afternoon. Every time Sun heard a crime happening over the radio, it was responded to by a different patrol car before he could even pick up the mic at all. It was as if he had nothing to do all day today. No, it wasn't as if, it was exactly that.

Right now, Sun was sitting in his van, parked across the street from a noodle stand that Neptune was getting lunch from. Sun kept on watching people walk by on the sidewalk. Any one of them could be a massive drug lord or most wanted terrorist. All he needed was one call from dispatch and he was more than ready to spring into action. He wasn't dressed as a loose cannon cop on the edge for nothing.

As Neptune climbed into the van with the food, he heard Sun sigh loudly at the window. Handing Sun's cup of noodles to him, Neptune asked, "Still nothin', huh?"

"No, actually I stopped a buncha bank robbers and got the key to the fuckin' city. Whatd'ya think?" Sun snarked, frustrated with his day so far.

"Look, I'm sure that something'll come up. We just need to be patient," Neptune said while poking his chopsticks at something in his food cup.

Just as Sun turned to face Neptune to shoot down that sentence, he noticed the cup in Neptune's hand. He felt really confused at what he saw. Apparently, it was a slice of pizza inside a cup of miso soup.

"The fuck is that?" Sun couldn't help but ask.

"The guy called it 'Neo Kobe Pizza'." Explained Neptune. Then he blew away some of the rising steam, and took a sip of the soup.

"The fuck's a Neo Kobe?" questioned Sun.

Neptune simply shrugged as he ate a chunk of pizza with his chopsticks.

"…Why didn't you get me that?" Sun asked, gesturing to his cup of regular ramen.

Swallowing, Neptune replied, "How was I supposed to know what you wanted?"

Sun grumbled into his ramen, "Whatever…" and slurped down a bunch of noodles.

As Neptune and Sun munched on their lunches, they listened to the police radio for anything to respond to. But, since the way their luck so far still held up, anything that they could have responded to was picked up by a different car within a minute it was announced. Either their area already had a large police presence, or the chief shoved them off somewhere where they would be out of everyone's business. Either way, it just wasn't sitting right with either of them, with Sun more so.

Eating the last of his noodles, Sun crumpled up his paper cup and tossed it in the well between the two front seats. Now that he was done, he was in the position to hover over the radio, and respond quickly to any call. He hovered his hand over the receiver, ready for the sound of the dispatcher to come over the speaker.

Noticing this, Neptune quickly slurped down the last of the miso and chunks of pizza. "Bro, what're you doing?" he asked once he swallowed.

"Waitin' for the right moment," Sun responded. To Neptune, he had the air of someone who was fishing. There was just some serene determination there, as if all he had to do was strike at the right moment to get something good.

Neptune's observation was proven right as Sun heard the radio crackle, and snatched up the receiver in an instant.

"Units in Maxwell Flats, there's a report of shoplifting at Dust 'Till Dawn, 0093 Quess Street. Nearby cars, please respond," came the crackling voice of dispatch.

Smiling to himself, Sun said into the receiver, "Car A-12 copies that. Heading over there now."

"Copy that," said dispatch before the voice disappeared again.

"We're on the case now, boy!" Sun cried as he started up the van and turned on the sirens.

Sun had a manic grin on his face as he peeled out of his parking space and floored the gas pedal, zooming off towards the address given over the radio. This was it! This was his first way to prove himself to be a badass cop!

xxx

Less than five minutes later, Sun screeched The Gabby into the closest free space near From Dust 'Till Dawn. This store had suffered more than enough robberies in the past few months. So really, Sun wasn't all that surprised that this place had another thing stolen from it.

Turning off the engine/sirens and hopping out of the car, Neptune and Sun walked through the store door. The little chime attached to the door handle rang, alerting the storekeeper to the people who walked in.

Waltzing up to the front counter, Sun flashed his badge and lowered his sunglasses. "Sun Wukong. Detective. And this is my partner, Neptune," he said, gesturing to his suit-clad partner right next to him.

"Neptune Vasilias," the blue(?) haired hunter introduced himself.

"Oh, thank god! I need you to stop that thief!" the elderly shopkeeper exclaimed.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, old man. What'd this thief look like?" Sun asked.

"Oh, uh… she had reddish… nah, orangeish hair and a pink bow, I think…" mentioned the old shopkeeper.

"What about her clothes?" Neptune added.

"A dress… with green lines on it?" the shopkeeper thought out loud.

"Okay, and what did the thief steal?" finally asked Sun, taking mental notes on the description.

"…A few refrigerator magnets…" the shopkeeper mumbled, as if even he found the idea of someone stealing magnets from him ridiculous.

Sun and Neptune raised their eyebrows at the same time. "Magnets?" Neptune parroted.

"Yeah. Schnee Dust Company ones," clarified the old shopkeeper.

"Ah… okay, I think we got it. Don't worry, we'll get your stuff back," Sun said to the shopkeeper. Then, turning to Neptune, he said, "Let's roll. Shoplifter couldn't have gone that far,". Nodding, Neptune headed out the door, with Sun following after him.

Once they climbed into The Gabby, Sun started up the engine and began to cruise down the street. "Be on the lookout for a ginger with a pink bow, okay?" he advised Neptune.

His partner nodded, and Sun drove down the street. Like he said to the store owner earlier, the perp couldn't have gotten far. They had gotten to the scene of the crime shortly after the call. And, reason stood that if the thief was on foot, then they still were probably around this block.

Sun cruised down the block, also keeping an eye out for someone matching the criminal's description. He scanned one side of the street, while Neptune kept his eye on the other. Since it was an afternoon on a work day, this part of town didn't have that many people walking on the sidewalk as compared to, say, the downtown district.

Suddenly, Neptune tapped Sun on the shoulder to get his attention. "There!" he cried, pointing to a figure calmly strolling down the sidewalk. If anything, that person looked downright relaxed. The girl with the orange hair and pink bow was walking as if she had no clue what was going on. Well, Sun would have none of that.

Hoping not to draw attention to himself, Sun parked The Gabby a little up the sidewalk, hoping to nab the girl when she passed by.

Turing off the engine, Sun turned and spoke lowly to Neptune. "We wait for 'er to pass. Then, we get out and get her. Got it?"

"Yeah, got it!" Neptune said in agreement.

The girl with the bow and dress with green stripes walked past the police van. It looked like she didn't even notice how the car was marked with the VCPD logo, or that there was two people inside waiting to jump out. Just what the duo wanted.

"Now!" Sun signaled, and then he and Neptune got out of the van.

The junior detective duo quickly closed the gap between the perp with their speed walking. "Excuse me, miss?" called out Neptune.

At that, the girl with the pink bow turned around to face where the noise was coming from. "Salutations!" she greeted.

Now Sun decided to act like how he was dressed. He wasn't dressed like a loose cannon for nothing. So, he grabbed the girl by the shoulder and growled, "Where are they?!"

The girl looked confused. "I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"

Neptune furrowed his brown in frustration. What the fuck was Sun doing?! Shoving his partner's grip off, he said to the monkey Faunus, "I'll get this." "Fucking asswipe," he added in his thoughts.

Then, turning back to the girl, Neptune flashed his badge and said, "Lady, we're cops. We've heard a report of a theft around here." He paused for dramatic effect. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, eh?"

The girl's eyes briefly dilated before she answered. "N-no *hic*!"

Neptune and Sun shared a brief glance before Neptune continued his questioning. "Well, a person matching your description was said to have stolen a few things from From Dust Till Dawn. Now, let me ask again: do you know anything about that?"

"I… no *hic*!" the girl replied, awkwardly shuffling away from her interrogator.

"She's got a fuckin' tell!" Sun thought to himself. She was clearly lying, and she kept on hiccupping when she did! Plus, she wasn't hiccupping when they saw her walk down the street, so this could only be a tell.

"Stop lyin'! Where are the goods?!" Sun yelled at the girl.

"I don't know any- *hic* thing about magnets!" the girl cried, her eyes shifting back and forth.

"I didn't say anything about magnets," Neptune stated. He had to give it to Sun a little, at least his yelling got the girl to slip up.

"I… I…" the girl said, before slumping her shoulders in defeat. "I took the magnets."

"Great! Now hand 'em over!" Sun demanded, holding out his hand.

Looking dejected, the girl stuck her hand into her pocket, and pulled out three magnets. She then offered her hand to Sun. Sun tried to grab the magnets out of her hand, but for some odd reason, they refused to come off. He tried to pull harder, but to no avail. They seemed stuck to her hand.

"Is this some fuckin' joke?" Sun grunted as he kept on tugging at the magnets. All he got was an ashamed look from the girl.

Over his shoulder, Sun ordered to Neptune, "Help me with this, bro!"

Shrugging, Neptune got behind Sun and pulled on his shoulders, hoping to increase the strength of his pulling. After another minute of grunting, sweating, swearing, and tugging, the prize finally came in Sun's hand.

"Got 'em!" Sun smirked. He tossed the magnets in the air, planning on catching them as they fell.

Instead, the magnets changed course mid-air, and made a beeline straight to the girl's forehead. With a loud think, the three magnets collided with the girl's head, making her stagger back a step.

The hunter pair watched on in confusion. Why were the magnets attracted to the girl's head? But, before they could ask her for anything that might clarify that question, the girl began to act oddly.

"OoooooOOOOoooohhhh~! Daisy… daisy…" the girl moaned, her voice taking on a slight metallic and tinny tone. Her eyes rolled around wildly, and her body kept on making small spasms, almost like twitches.

"The fuck…?" Neptune and Sun said at the same time. This was easily the most confused they felt, even compared to the last time that ever happened. (That one involved accidentally renting gay porn when they thought it was an action movie. They agreed to never bring it up again.)

"Oh fantasticccccccccccc~!" the strange girl cried once more before collapsing to the ground like a limp fish. She couldn't stop twitching and drooling, however.

Now Sun and Neptune were at a complete loss on what to do now. Hell, they didn't even know how the heck this happened. How were they expected to handle someone reacting to having magnets attracted to their body and suddenly having a weird, almost orgasmic sounding fit?

"I… think we should call an ambulance," suggested Neptune.

"Yeah, good idea," swiftly agreed Sun. Whipping out his scroll, he quickly dialed the number for emergency services. They needed to get this girl some help, criminal or not. It should always be an officer's duty to keep their suspects alive, after all.

"Hello? Yeah, can you send an ambulance to Quess Street, just down from From Dust 'Till Dawn? We have a chick here, and I'm thinkin' she's havin' a seizure or something. Right next to a police van. Get here soon!" Sun said into his scroll. After hearing a confirmation on the other end, he hung it up and returned his gaze to the odd girl.

"I guess we shouldn't do anythin' to her…" Sun thought out loud.

"Yeah. We don't know if she'll hurt herself or not," agreed Neptune.

So, all the wannabe super-cop duo could do was watch while some weird girl sounded like she was getting off on magnets stuck to her head, while also having a jerking seizure. So much for their first bust as junior detectives. But, it could be worse. They could be dead, or on fire, or something like that.

Oh well. To live is to endure. And Sun and Neptune would have to do just that.

xxx

You know, with all these references to a certain game, I could probably just turn this story into a RWBY version of Snatcher. I mean, you got the food, you got the robot girl, all I really need is to put someone in a sweet trench coat and have them drink as much as Rick Deckard from Blade Runner. Hmm, maybe I'll come back to that idea. It sounds pretty awesome to me. I'll tuck that one away for later. Anyway, enough about awesome old games. I should probably wrap up this chapter. As always, be sure to leave me either a comment or review, those are always appreciated!

This has been The Draigg, and I'm bidding you all adieu for now!