While she is in the kitchen making coffee Harry tries to start the gas fire . She hears his attempts and calls out. "You have to hold down the green button while you press the black one." Harry does as she suggests and the fire bursts into life. If Ruth lived with him in his house, she'd never have to grapple with old technology such as this. He knows he's getting ahead of himself. They have only just been on their second date, and he's already considering how life would be were he and Ruth to be a couple, living under the same roof. This has never happened to him before, not even with Jane. He wants this. He wants a life with Ruth. He knows it will work – him and her – because they are so compatible at work, and if they can work together smoothly, then surely the rest will just follow. Won't it? All he knows is that when she is not with him he longs for her, and his body aches for her. He just hopes that she feels the same way about him.
Ruth carries their coffee into the living room on a tray. Harry stands as she approaches, reaching out to take the tray from her hands.
"You should have asked for help, Ruth," he says, not looking at her as he carefully places the tray on the coffee table. He knows how she takes her coffee, so he pours for each of them, adding the right amount of milk and sugar.
"I'm impressed," Ruth says, taking the mug from Harry's hand, allowing her fingers to linger over his for just a moment longer than necessary as she smiles into his eyes.
They sit some distance apart on the sofa, sipping their coffees in silence. They are each aware of the current of electricity which arcs between them, ebbing and flowing along with their levels of tension. Eventually, Harry puts his coffee back on the tray.
"I shouldn't stay long," he says, turning to look at Ruth, who is temporarily distracted by one of her cats who stalks across the floor in front of them, ignoring the humans on the sofa as he heads towards the fire. "We both have work tomorrow."
"You could stay."
Harry darts a glance at Ruth to find her watching him over the rim of her mug, her eyes wide and dark. Stormy is the word which leaps into his mind. "Are you serious?" he asks.
This time Ruth takes her time over placing her coffee cup back on the tray. When she leans back she turns to him. "I've never been more serious about anything."
"Ruth …... this is only our second date. We have …... plenty of time."
"What are you afraid of, Harry? I'm offering you …... what I suspect you want, and you're ….. backing off."
"Yes, I want that …. with you, but …... I don't want you to be offering me what I want if it's not what you want also."
"It's what I want. Tonight ….. at the restaurant …... it became clear to me that we need to ….. go there."
Harry leans against the back of the sofa and sighs heavily. "Other than a few kisses we've barely touched, Ruth. We need more time before ….."
"Do you need more time?"
Harry turns to face her. "No, Ruth. I've been ready for this for …..." Such a long time. "I'm not sure that we are ready."
When Ruth doesn't answer he turns to see her gazing at a spot on her skirt, and then she begins picking at this spot with her fingernail. This is Ruth closing the shutters. She is shutting down, erecting her walls. Harry slides across the sofa so that he is almost touching her, and then he turns towards her. He reaches out with his hand and stills her fingers, curling his fingers around her own. She doesn't look at him, and he knows she is hurt.
"Ruth," he says. "Look at me."
When she turns his way he can see tears glistening on her eye lashes. With his free hand, he reaches out to wipe under her eyes with his thumb. Then he leans across and kisses her softly. He lingers over the kiss until he feels her responding to him. Then he pulls away.
"I hadn't meant to hurt you, Ruth."
"I'm not hurt. I'm just ….."
"What?"
"I'm pissed off. And if you really must know, I'm embarrassed. No-one appreciates being turned down, especially by someone they …... really fancy."
Harry finds himself smiling at her words. "I'm not turning you down, Ruth. God, I'd have to be mad to turn you down. I'm ….. postponing your offer. I think we both need an early night, then tomorrow night …... maybe then …." Throughout the time he has been struggling to find the right words to say to her, he has been watching her. On the words, maybe then, Ruth turns towards him and smiles into his eyes, her hurt apparently forgotten. "It's just that I'm a bit out of my depth here. I'd been expecting to have to beg you to accompany me to the bedroom. When you turned the tables on me, you …..."
"Shocked you?"
"No, not shocked, but you did take me by surprise. I was unprepared …... and I didn't want to appear too …... eager."
"Are you afraid, Harry?"
"Afraid of what?"
"That you'll …. oh, I don't know …... fall short ….. disappoint me?"
"Neither of those. I know that you will be ….. happy with …... what I have to offer you."
Ruth's face breaks into a wide smile, and then she chuckles quietly.
"What is it?" he asks, slightly bewildered.
"We're talking about going to bed together …... or not …... and yet we've managed to avoid using the words bed, sleep, sex, or anything racier."
"I was trying to be polite, Ruth. I hadn't wanted to scare you off."
"It will take more than that to frighten me."
Harry sighs, clasping her hand tighter in his own. He wants to kiss her again, but he doesn't wish to be placing temptation in their path …... now that they know their desire for the other is reciprocated. "There is something which worries me, though," he says quietly.
"What?"
"Your ….. fear of what others might say should they find out …... that we're …..."
"Dating."
"Yes. Dating. You can't use that as an excuse again, Ruth. It's too distressing."
"I know."
"And if the others find out we're even closer …... then of course they will gossip for a while, but we can't allow that to come between us."
When Ruth doesn't say anything Harry watches her face carefully. She is gazing up at him with fear in her eyes. "I'll try," she says after some time.
"We can see one another in secret, but after a while – maybe in a month or so – something is sure to give us away."
"I know."
"And we can't allow a bit of office gossip to stop us seeing one another away from work."
Ruth nods, and then looks down at where their hands are still linked on her knee, over the spot where she'd scratched at the material of her skirt, anxiety overwhelming her.
"Ruth ….. look at me." She looks up at him, and again he can see the fear in her eyes. "I can protect you now. We're …... closer now than we were ... before, and if you ever feel afraid or anxious or …... that others are bothering you, please ….. please tell me first, and don't end what we have here. It's too precious, too ….. delicate … to have it thrown away by stupid office gossip, which is little more than the product of small and idle minds."
"Do you consider Malcolm to have a small and idle mind, Harry?"
"No, I don't, but then ….. he wasn't gossiping. He was passing on his good wishes. Beneath the surface of their words they all care, Ruth."
Ruth nods, and then pours them each another mug of coffee. They sit over their drinks in silence, each with plenty to think about. When Harry begins again to make noises about it being time for him to head home, Ruth, who has been thinking deeply, speaks.
"I was thinking, Harry …... about tomorrow night ..."
"Yes?" His eyes brighten, as he watches her choose her words carefully. He has deliberately not pushed to see her again soon. He needs to give her time, and if the next time they see one another is her idea, then that is even better.
"Neither of us has to work Sunday." Harry nods, detecting where she is headed. "I would like it were we to …. eat here after work. I am quite a good cook when I put my mind to it. You've given me two lovely dinners, so I would like to cook a meal for you …... here ….. and if afterwards we …... things ….. head in a certain direction, then …..."
"Are you asking me to stay the night, Ruth?" Harry's voice is quiet, barely above a whisper.
Ruth nods, smiling despite her apparent anxiety over having to be so blunt.
"Alright," Harry replies, squeezing her hand in his. "That sounds …. wonderful."
This time, having gained a commitment of sorts from Ruth, Harry disengages from her and begins preparing to leave. Ruth accompanies him to the front door, where they stand a little apart, not touching. They each feel a little awkward, having spent the evening successfully navigating the obstacles which had come between them after their first dinner together. Harry wants to touch her, kiss her goodnight, but nor does he wish to assume anything.
"Don't you want to kiss me?" Ruth asks, and he almost laughs aloud, chiefly with relief.
He settles for a smile as he steps closer to her, grasping her hand in his. With her free hand Ruth grasps his jacket and pulls him closer. This is the first time they have hugged. Very slowly Harry winds his arms around her and pulls her against him. After a minute or so, during which he is sure he has stopped breathing, he pulls away slightly to check how she is travelling. With one hand Ruth reaches up and cups his cheek, caressing his jaw with her thumb. He can do nothing else. He leans down and places his lips on hers. The kiss begins carefully, and then when Harry feels Ruth push herself against him, he allows the kiss to become passionate. It is Ruth who pulls out of the kiss first. Harry could have stayed there all night, just kissing her, holding her, knowing that this time tomorrow they will be climbing the stairs together.
"The sooner you go home, the sooner tomorrow will be here," she says playfully.
"I like your logic," he replies, reaching down to kiss her one more time.
They hear the taxi pull up outside, and so Harry quickly leaves, turning as he reaches the gate to see that she is watching him from the doorway. He gives her a small wave and climbs into the car. How things have changed.