Chapter 6 - A Family Affair
Killua stood at the eaves of the rooftop of a building, his feet balancing deftly on the narrow raised platform without concern for the perilous drop beneath. He had chosen this location as the best vantage point to scout the balcony gardens at Heaven's Arena. It was the tallest building he could find near-by with a total of 191 floors, yet still dwarfed by the fourth-tallest tower in the world that was Heaven's Arena. From where he stood he had a perfect view of the gardens which stood out on a large balcony connecting a few sections of the 190th floor of Heaven's Arena. Killua and Gon had discovered the gardens in their prior visit to the Arena. They used to go there after their contests sometimes to get some peace and quiet. Gon in particular had taken to the gardens, the green space an appropriate prescription for his emerging home sickness at the time.
Killua checked the beetle phone in his pocket, it was 6:30 p.m. He still had some time before he was scheduled to meet with Gon. While travelling from Yorknew City Killua had decided that it might be a good idea to check things out a little bit early. He really didn't want any company for their final reunion and even though he recalled that the gardens were almost always vacant he wanted to make sure that still held true. It would be just my luck that they would be holding some stupid festival or ceremony there tonight, or maybe a dumb wedding, Killua thought.
But as he looked out over the gardens on the distant balcony he saw no movement, they were as still and pristine as he had remembered. Killua let out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes as he stood on the edge of the roof, arms spread wide straight out from his shoulders. His toes were hanging slightly over the edge and the wind whipped and snapped at his baggy clothes; they were all black, a pair of mesh-style athletic shorts and a long-sleeve black t-shirt. Killua figured black was the appropriate colour to wear to ones own funeral; but he realized the effect was somewhat lost since he still wore his favourite purple sneakers and shorts weren't exactly funeral attire. It's oh so very Killua though, Gon will appreciate it, he thought sadistically.
He let himself breathe in a slow and heavy rhythm as he teetered on the concrete precipice, eyes closed, arms wide with the wind swirling around him like thick swathes of satin brushing heavily against his skin. His fluffy platinum hair danced and weaved every which way pulling gently at his scalp creating a pleasant sensation. Killua found himself thinking absently, it would be so easy to just end it here, just lean forward, just a little bit, and let the wind carry me down to rest, let it blow my memories away. He let the sensations of the world transpire around him, the distant sounds of pedestrians and traffic far below, the whistling gusts of wind that buffeted the numerous structures of the city skyline, the flapping sound of the soft material of his own garments as they tried to tug and pull away from his rigid body. Killua felt a certain comfort at this moment, knowing his time was drawing near. He had waited so long for this, ever since Gon had said those words to him, the words that had turned out the light in Killua's world.
"This means nothing to you…" Gon.
I'm ready, Gon. Finally, I am ready to face you honestly and tell you how much you hurt me. How much I loved you then, how much I still love you now. I'm ready to see with my own eyes again, to see that I mean nothing to you. It's just like you said Gon, 'this means nothing to you…',and I expect it won't. I expect you'll be disgusted with me. Well, I should be equally disgusted with you, leading me on, treating me like you cared, opening my heart to the world only to crush it and leave it bleeding out, alone. You left me, without even saying goodbye. You would have preferred if I left you a disfigured and burnt mess drowning in Pitou's blood. This time it will be my choice, Gon. I will be the one to leave you alone, my heart crushed and bleeding, this time right before your eyes. Maybe then, you'll understand, Gon. Maybe then. Killua recited this promise quietly in his mind, over and over as time passed slowly, the wind his only company.
"Practicing your balance, Kill-chan?" The voice cut through the air as though nature itself would not get in its way.
No. Not this. Not this! Killua thought, the dread that shot up through his spine at the sound of the voice could only mean one thing. I shouldn't have been so careless, when did I let my guard down! Killua berated himself internally. He almost lost his balance as he swung himself around on the edge violently. What he saw then confirmed all the fears he had felt the moment that unnaturally smooth and calm voice had ripped him from his meditative state.
Across the roof-top, walking slowly towards him was Illumi, one hand on his hip, the other swinging in time with that patient, rhythmic walk so characteristic of his older brother. His slick black hair swung gently behind him, floating as if unaffected by the rules of gravity. He came to a stop a few meters away from where Killua was standing on the edge of the roof. His eyes like pools of black oil shimmered dangerously and seemed to freeze Killua in place. Killua realized at this moment that he had backed up and was now barely standing on the roof at all, just his toes kept him in place, calf muscles straining with the effort.
"You look surprised, little brother. Be careful, you're about one inch away from falling over the edge. I wouldn't want to lose you like this," Illumi cooed slyly.
Killua was horrified. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he was drowning in fear and confusion. He had no idea why Illumi was here but the look in his brothers eyes told him that this was no chance encounter. This wasn't good.
Illumi ran his fingers through his hair, strands of black silk retreating through ivory hands and in a voice that anyone could mistake as affectionate said, "Killua, why don't you step down from there so we can chat, hm?"
Killua stepped down from the eave against his better judgment but old habits died hard it would seem; he found that even now, without the Nen needle stuck in his brain, Illumi still had some power over him.
"A-Aniki…" Killua stuttered, putting his hands in his pockets and trying to act casual. He knew the insecurity in his voice had betrayed the attempt already. "What brings you here? Looking to make fools of the Floor Master's in Heaven's Arena?" Killua tried, hoping he could redeem his earlier lack of composure and salvage the situation.
"Oh, Kill-chan, it pains me to see you this way. When did you lose all your trust in me. I'm here for you, of course. You're my sweet and innocent little brother, it's my duty to protect you," Illumi brought his hands out to his sides with his palms open in a gesture that indicated he was here on amicable terms before he continued, "I know you're afraid that I would be mad because of what you did with Alluka. I readily admit I wasn't pleased, what with you taking her away from the family business and setting her free. She was very important to us, very important to me, and you interfered with our plans for her, that was quite the naughty thing to do. But Kill-chan, nothing is more important to me than my dear little brother, you must know that. I can forgive you for what you did with Alluka…" That last sentence dragged, as if Illumi had sung the words out slowly, letting them drift and fill the space between them.
"A-Aniki, you're not upset about Alluka anymore?" Killua said, astonished at Illumi's words of forgiveness. Maybe there was a way out of this, he had to be careful though, he could not be certain of Illumi's intentions.
"No, Killua, I'm not upset about Alluka now," Illumi said, in a tone that Killua did not recognize from his older brother.
Killua stood staring at Illumi, eyes wide, unable to believe the words he was hearing. Yet there it was, Illumi had said the words and nothing in his demeanour indicated that this was a lie or some sort of manipulative tactic. At this point Killua became increasingly uneasy. Illumi had never behaved this way before him. Somehow the gentleness in Illumi's voice was more terrifying than his usual emotionless drawl. There was something wrapped up in his tone, something Killua hadn't initially noticed but now it was unravelling before him. Merciful, Killua thought, he sounds, merciful…
But before that thought could forewarn Killua of the danger that he was in Illumi had closed the distance between them in a flash, reaching out with one of his long arms and grabbing Killua by the throat. Killua gasped for air as Illumi held him there, dragging him up off his feet so only his toes were touching the ground. Illumi's hand felt like ice cold steel, yet nothing could be colder now than the dark look on his older brothers face and in the black aura that had now seemed to consume the entire world around them.
"But this!" Illumi screamed, a killers intensity burning in his eyes that Killua had never seen, "this I cannot forgive Killua! This reunion with Gon, after everything he has done, it, is, unforgivable!"
How did Illumi know about his meeting with Gon, Killua wondered. It didn't really matter though, there was no changing the current situation. At least Killua understood now what the mercy in Illumi's tone had meant. He was here to kill him before he could make the same mistakes of his past. For Illumi it was better for Killua to die than to be taken away by Gon again, living free and happy. Illumi had not guarded Killua so closely to just let him off the hook again. He must have known that Killua had fallen back into a habitual solitude, he wasn't about to let that change again on account of Gon.
Killua began to chuckle maniacally at the irony of it all as he struggled for air. Illumi had no clue. "Idiot…" Killua whispered in-between choking breaths under Illumi's iron grip.
"What did you say!" Illumi shouted.
"You're a fucking idiot…" Killua spat out at his older brother, repeating himself over and over, louder and louder, resisting the pressure from Illumi's grasp, "Idiot…idiot…stupid, stupid, idiot!"
Killua began to feel enraged. He felt the familiar surge of power course through his veins as his Nen erupted crackling blue energy that pushed back at Illumi's brooding aura. Illumi actually looked shocked, Killua thought, perhaps that's because he had been. Killua was now standing about 8 meters away and was staring at Illumi's back. Illumi was hunched over slightly, clutching the hand that had moments ago been throttling Killua's throat. Killua knew it must burn, he had given his older brother a jolt that would kill an elephant.
Illumi spun around swiftly, regaining his composure and standing up straight, "so, you've got some new powers. Interesting. Electricity. You can thank me for that, Kill-chan. I was the one who heavily encouraged your shock treatment as a young child, looks like it came in handy for you after all," Illumi said seemingly pleased with himself.
"Oh it's much more than just electricity, Aniki.." Killua said, using his most threatening tone, "It's thunder, and it's lightning, and I have learned to draw my power from the heavens above into a force you couldn't even imagine." As soon as the words had left his mouth Killua summoned his Godspeed. His hair stood on end in sharp blades pointing to the sky. Killua's whole body flexed, veins popping out of his arms and legs, blue electricity flickering violently around him. His eyes emitted rays of cobalt, as bright as the sun. The sky suddenly opened up and rain began to fall with the cry of thunder causing a concussive force to pass through the air. Large bolts of lightning began to appear, like javelins hurled by some olympian in the sky, creating jagged lines of light down toward the rooftop where Killua and his brother faced each other.
Killua had learned that he didn't need to charge himself with electricity at all to use his powers, he simply had to use his Nen as somewhat of a lightning rod. Once activated, all the power in the sky that nature had to provide was his to use, so long as his body could put up with the energy he summoned.
"You really are a fucking idiot, Illumi," Killua dropped the title of respect reserved for your older brother and called him by his name for the first time in his life it seemed. He saw Illumi regarding him with dark eyes cautiously, not yet ready to approach. "You think I'm here to unite with Gon again on some fucking adventure? Is that what you think this is? What, did you get our fat brother, that piece of shit Milluki, to hack my communications?" Killua noticed a small ripple in the pools of oil that made up Illumi's pupils. "So that is it," Killua continued, laughing hysterically, "you think you're here to prevent that happy reunion, don't you? Well I've got a surprise for you, brother. I came here to die anyway and by my own hand! So why don't you fucking leave me alone!" Killua screamed, he was beside himself with rage. He trembled and all the emotions he had been bottling up for so long began to surface, untethered. Tears began to run down his face, his fists were clenched by his sides. There was no way Illumi was going to stop him from doing this, he was going to fight his way out of here if he had to.
"Killua," Illumi said, a questioning tone, the prior outburst of rage that Illumi had showed seemed to have disappeared, "why would you agree to see Gon if you planned on just killing yourself anyway?" The way Illumi asked the question was direct and matter of fact. He was genuinely curious and seemed completely unperturbed with the lightning exploding all around them.
Killua exploded at the question, "Why? Why did I agree to see Gon? Because I love him Illumi! There, I said it to someone! I love Gon, more than anything! I love Gon more than my own life, I love Gon more than anyones life! I love Gon more than our father, I love Gon undeniably, absolutely and without condition! The time I spent with him, nothing can replace that! Nothing! And all that time I had the hope, the dream that Gon might love me back, " Killua was half screaming half sobbing. "But Gon doesn't love me back, Illumi. It turns out your dark view of the world is fucking correct, I hope you're very proud. But I can't live without Gon, I can't live without his love, and I can't die without knowing that Gon has seen my pain, the pain I went through for him. Maybe then he will feel something, maybe then!" Killua was screaming uncontrollably into the night, unconcerned with who might be hearing him at this point.
Illumi's eyes had changed again, this time they held a murderous gaze even worse than before. "Love…" Illumi whispered through clenched teeth. Emotion appearing on his face for the first time, and it was an ugly one. Repulsion. "Love…" Illumi repeated, the word dripped like acid from his lips, sizzling. "I will never let you admit this, never, you hear me!"
Illumi's aura exploded into a darkness that seemed to eat up all the light in the world. It spanned out from those eyes of his, like a black hole that consumed everything around it indiscriminately. Killua knew he was seeing his brothers real power now, and it was truly fearsome. He knew he was now in a fight for his life. If Illumi won, his life would end here and now. If Killua won, he would at least get that one extra hour, an hour he so desperately needed.
It was as if the heavens were engaged in a war with hell, light meeting dark in fateful clashes as Killua and Illumi began to square off at full force on the rooftop.