Can I just take a moment to appreciate how awesome Portal is? Tyler and Taylor just started playing it. One is good at it- the other is not.

I don't see why it's so awesome. I'm stuck on Test Chamber Nine.

Seriously? Taylor, you need to start thinking with portals.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Calm down, you guys. Roll story.

When Reagan came to rescue the twins from the closet they were huddled in, they both looked at her questioningly.

"That was fast. What happened?" Tyler asked. He recalled his uncle sometimes being relentlessly persistent about things that were not nearly as important as he probably percieved tracking down him and his sister to be.

"I think I annoyed the living hell out of him," Reagan responded, looking somewhat amused by her own antics. "He was lying his balls off, pretending to work for some client of Tony's, so I put on my business face and blocked every punch he threw. I'm pretty sure he got sick of it after a while, because I gave him a way out and he took it."

"I wonder why he lied," Taylor said. "If he thought you were just a secretary or something, wouldn't it make more sense to flash a badge, push past you, and trash the place?"

"That would make sense if it were anyone besides Uncle Phil," Tyler mused. "He's got class. Besides, he was alone. It would take forever to search this house with even a team of people, and Reagan could totally have called security on his ass."

Reagan frowned. "Could I?"

"Well, technically no, but he would have thought you could have."

"Oh! I see what you mean. How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That thing you just did, sort of guessing what he was thinking."

Tyler shrugged. "I guess it's just... I have a sort of extra level of reasoning when I think. It's always been an instinct for me. It's the way I think. I guess for me it makes perfect sense, although I'm usually thinking a few steps ahead of whoever I'm talking to. And sometimes I figure out secrets and don't know they're supposed to be secrets. That can lead to some pretty embarrassing moments."

Taylor laughed. "Like that time you were talking to Justin Hammer with Dad and figured out he was sleeping with his secretary?"

"Well, it's not like they were trying to hide it! His hand was on her ass, not to mention the looks they kept giving each other. I'm surprised everyone in that room didn't figure it out."

"Justin Hammer... isn't he married?" Reagan asked.

Taylor nodded. "Fun fact, one hundred percent of people who commit adultery are married."

"Well, what about that time you nearly put all of the Avengers in comas because you were having a nightmare?" Tyler asked his sister, directing the conversation away from himself.

"That was perfectly reasonable. I thought they were zombies."

"That isn't a reasonable reason to almost murder your parents."

"So, if they were really zombies, you wouldn't be able to kill them to protect yourself? Weakling."

"No. I would try to cure them. And you watch too many zombie movies."

"You don't watch enough."

"I saw one. That was more than enough."

Reagan decided that the once-productive conversation had taken a weird turn and decided to ask a different question.

"So, what movie do you guys want to watch?"

For the next month or so, that was how things went. The twins got into small arguments rather frequently, but usually they were just for fun and junk instead of an actual fight. Reagan kept a watchful eye on the twins, but they never really did anything dumb. Tyler made little progress on fixing Taylor's phone, and it seemed like he was going to have to get help from the genius himself when he got back. It looked like they were just sitting around waiting. What they were waiting for, Reagan saw when JARVIS made an announcement, interrupting a viewing of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

"Excuse the interruption, but there is a newscast on that I believe you will be interested in. It appears that Sir has returned and is holding a press conference," the AI reported as the twins exchanged excited looks.

"He must have built the first Iron Man suit!" Taylor squealed.

Tyler nodded, grinning widely. "JARVIS, can you put that press conference on, please?"

"Of course, sir."

The television switched on to show a ragged and filthy-looking Tony Stark standing at a podium, holding a Burger King package and looking absolutely bombed out of his brain. He was visibly unsteady on his feet, and shook a little bit as he stepped forward to address the crowd. Taylor caught a glint of blue.

"Hey! There's the Arc Reactor!" she shouted, pointing at the little blue light.

Tyler peered closer to the screen, and smiled. "Course, sis. This is back when the damn thing actually needed to be in his chest."

"Oh, right. He wears it all the time anyways. I forget he doesn't need to, sometimes," Taylor admitted.

"He thinks it looks cool, and what would he do with that massive hole in his sternum if he wasn't wearing it anyways?"

"It does look cool."

"That is so not the point."

Reagan coughed softly and pointed to the screen, where Tony was beginning to talk. Both sibling instantly shut up and stared. They had seen this recording tons of times, of course, but they felt an obligation to witness the original speech.

"I have seen young Americans killed by the very weapons I built to protect them. That is why, from this point onwards, I am officially shutting down the weapons wing of Stark Industries,"Tony said before stepping down from the podium as every reporter in the room seemed to come to their feet at the same moment, pressing towards him in a wave of crazed excitement for what could be the next big story. Billionaire Goes Crazy, or maybe Stark Loses It, would be plastered all over the headlines come morning.

Tyler and Taylor both cheered for their father, only to have their happiness transform into anger as Tony was ushered away and Stane stepped up.

"Rat bastard," Taylor swore under her breath.

"Agreed."

"Would it be okay, while we're in the past, to warn Dad not to let that dickhead take over?"

"Well..." This was almost a trick question. There was no telling whether altering anything in the past would significantly change the future or not. "Maybe it would be better to just leave it as is."

"Why?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Nah."

They were just about to turn the movie back on when the door slammed open and Tony Stark was guided inside by a very-much-relieved Pepper Potts. He looked even worse in person and slumped on the couch, looking almost exactly like you'd expect a person who had just gone through trauma to look.

Both twins simultaneously decided that there was really only one thing they could say.

"Hi, Dad."