Boy, you don't look a day over twenty one
But you already feel like half your life has gone

He looked so tired there he sat. Back against the wall. It is hard believing that he was so young. Life had worn him out. Still there was someone inside there. He still didn't want to talk to me. He tried to freak me out by constantly looking at me. I did the same towards him. It was then I noticed what his way of life had done to him. I couldn't help wonder what he saw looking at me. Probably some whore thinking she's better than everyone who is taking away the only joy in his life. How had things come to this? One could never understand Deidara. He was like a rubix cube with ten different colors. It would never add up no matter how hard you tried and you could never figure out what was on his mind. We sat like that for hours. Looking at each other, shaking, smoking, vomiting and drinking. The silence was broken by my stomach rumbling. "You should eat," he said picking up a cigarette. I didn't respond. I could deal with my hunger. This was a battle of will. We both wanted to win. He raised one eye brow waiting for me to move. I didn't, he wasn't going to win this.

Drawing on a cigarette, hoping your head will clear.

I wanted to eat, but I couldn't leave him alone. He should eat too by the way, even if it'll just come back up again. Someone turned on some music. It was pretty loud, made both of our heads turn again the epicenter. Not that we could see who was playing it. It didn't matter, it was something to do. I think we're both getting tired of this. It wasn't fun even the two first hours. I got up and stole a cigarette from Deidara and sat down on the window sill. I liked sitting there, looking out. Used to clear my mind. Deidara took another cigarette too, his fifth this half hour. I might need to get someone to buy him some more soon. I think he was getting bored out of his mind. This world is so plain next to the one he's used to be living in. In the happy world of heroin.

They're screwed up the same

I didn't know much about him. I don't know much of his past, what made him what he is today. Everyone in a place like this have their own past. Some keep them locked up inside for only them to know. I didn't mind sharing if asked something that is rarely. I think there's only one person in this place who knows everything about him here. Sasori, they have from what I've head, had a past. I don't know more than that. I think it was just on the friendly state. I can't picture Deidara being anything but a friend to anyone. My picture of him is tainted by his drugs, but still. He doesn't seem to have a heart. Many times I've wondered if he wasn't a psychopath, wouldn't surprise me. He didn't seem to feel anything but anger, and sometimes a lot of it. He's as said, a complex person. My hunger was starting to get excruciating. I think our little competition has ended. Who lost I'm not sure, might have been me when I moved. Might have been him when he spoke. I'm not sure, and I have no one to ask.

And you want to tell your story but you don't know where to start

I remember the day Deidara had been missing for a few days. He uses to do that every now and then. Nobody cares, if he doesn't get back let's just hope he's found a better place to be. Just that this time he had been missing for longer than usual, and I did care. I found him one morning outside a kindergarten looking at the children. At first I was scared, wondering why he would be looking at small helpless children. He told me why. His little sister was there. She was the brightest one there, her smile could change lives. I couldn't help wondering if he had ever smiled like that. It was that morning he opened up to me. Well, enough to tell me how he ended up here, not why. His family had moved when his mother had gotten pregnant with his little sister. He ended up in the wrong crowd and started doing drugs. He figured that he had caused his family enough pain and ran away. It was better for them not knowing if he was alive or not, so he said. He never told me why he agreed to start taking drugs. Any normal 13 year old would say no to drugs and found new friends. I figured out that he must have been around that age. His sister must have been around 5.

You can wipe the blood from your shoes and the tear from your eye
Even "love will tear us apart" don't ease the pain

I had seen him cry for the first time that day. Not a few tears. He had broken down. Must have been the memories of his once happy family. I'm sure it hurts more to once have had one and then lost it, then to never have known how it is. None of them are right, maybe both just as much, just in other ways. I will never know, it might also depend on what type of person you are. Yet again, what type of family you're in forms you. "How was your family?" I knew it was mean of me to ask. I knew that it was a risk. I could almost see his tears dripping from his eye. "They were, they are great, unn…" I couldn't help being curious of him and his family. I was eager to hear even if it hurted him. I was getting my hands covered in his blood, or just pain. "They were great even when I started using. They did everything to help me quit. It would work for some weeks, and then I'd end up deeper than before. They did everything they could for me, and I disappointed them every time." I looked outside the window. I didn't want to see him cry. "I guess love tore you apart."

And you're close to the edge but you're hanging on
Do yourself a favour, don't do yourself any harm

I'd never been worried that he might take his life. He's always been hanging on, to his drugs or the hope that the time when he didn't need them might come. I don't know what it is, but I'm happy about it. I've seen him throw his life away, ruin it in so many ways. I've seen how he hurts himself with every needle, bringing himself closer to death. "Make me a promise." I stated, he wiped his tears away and looked at me. "You're still young; quit doing this shit once and for all now. You still have your life to live. Don't throw it away like this. Keep living like this everything might end tomorrow." He kept quiet. "You have a family that wants you. You can just quit doing shit and you'll get everything you need and you'll go on living life like none of this ever happened."

But the scars on your arms, well, they're harder to hide

Maybe it was weird and shitty with the little lines between the texts. I just love this song so much. Ehe… Yeah, I'll try and write more and better. I've been social the last days and I've been playing sims something I haven't done in forever. Still I hope you liked it. : )