After his turkey had calmed down he did nothing but sleep. He only woke up to drag himself to the bathroom or to drink. One can only imagine how tired he must have been. Right now he was sitting up smiling like a child. I had given him some pine apple. He loved it, but he was allergic, he had to eat something so I gave him some. Soon his lips would turn deep reed and he would slightly bite down on his tongue because it was so numb. I couldn't but to smile with him. I started laughing a little when I noticed just how well the pine apple matched the color of his hair. He was too busy eating to notice. Unlike every other time we had tried he ate by himself this time. I didn't have to force him. I couldn't help thinking that he was going to make it this time. Since it didn't seemed like he would need something from me anytime soon I went to sleep for a few hours.
Waking up everything was quiet. I guessed Deidara was sleeping again. I had a dream where I had bought a painting of a pin-up girl and a green dog. It was weird, just weird. I looked over to see if Deidara really was sleeping. I couldn't see him so I jumped up. I went over to see if he was in the bathroom, I turned out to be as empty as the kitchen. He couldn't have done this! Not when he was going to make it this time. It was going to be over now. I asked the others around if they had seen him. Deidara had run away unseen. I sat down trying to find out where he had gone. He needed drugs. To get drugs he needed money. He needed to get money somewhere so he had went to someone, Itachi.
"Where is he?" I screamed. I was frantic. I needed to know that he was okey. I needed to know that he was sleeping in Itachis bed. I needed to know that he was safe. "He was here some hours ago, he seemed to be in a hurry, didn't even care that all I had was twenty bucks." I screamed. "What? Something wrong?" I didn't have time for this, he yelled out something after me. I didn't care what. I could feel his eyes on me and I walked towards the park. I walked over to his regular dealer. "Seen Deidara? The blond?" I asked him trying to seem calm. "Yeah, seemed eager to get his smack. He bought 25 dime bags but only paid for two of them. If he's ending things off you owe me 230 dollar with interest. Junkies don't stock their drugs. Sorry to say it girly."
I broke down. Only way for me to find him was on foot. That meant he had plenty of time to take his overdose. It didn't seem like he wanted this, to end his life. He couldn't end things like this. He wasn't the one to kill himself. He just couldn't have done it. I spent my day looking for him. It was hopeless. I wasn't going to find him unless he wanted me to. I was pretty sure he didn't want to. No he would have come home then. He didn't I waited for days. I didn't hear a thing from him, nor did I see him. I still keep looking for him, even if it's been years. The memories of him will never go away.
Even if it was distant in my mind, this boy I once knew, I couldn't help find myself looking for him. If I was in the poorer part of town, where I knew drugs were sold, or just at the street. I would never see anyone with yellow hair shining, claiming immediate attention. No, I should have given up hope long ago. I was grown up now. I wasn't this silly girl who would get high on weed on weekdays. I was all grown up. I had a five year old son. I had even been married. It didn't work out. One says you never forget your first love. I don't know it that really can explain anything. It had been any love between us. We were just two teenagers looking for love. That's all. We had never found it in each other. We had just been together, doing stupid things together. It was still enough to ruin a marriage.
I didn't know anything. What had happen to him? There were so many questions, none to answer. How could I forget him if I didn't know if he was alive or not?