I had to touch him. Feel if he was real. Know that his smile wasn't a picture of my imagination.

I took a hold of his shirt and dragged him close. His heart was beating, his eyes were set back by the movement. The surprise of my touch. "It's funny, how our life turned out. How we would meet again." I could feel his breath hitting me, it was warm, comfortable, seducing, and perhaps dangerous? "That I would never forget the man who waited for me. How our adventures would haunt me, I might have ignored the memories, but never forgot you."

Maybe it was us standing close or me whispering that made him tense. I don't know.

I looked down on his fingers looking. "Engaged," he replied to my searching glance. I nodded, who was I to think that he have ever loved me that much? What I had done with my life, what I had thrown away for a teenage crush I hadn't seen in years was silly, stupid. Still it couldn't be helped. He had never felt that way about me. He was too busy with his drugs. My excitement turned to anger.

I slapped him.

It could be heard through the empty corridor. He looked like he knew why. Sadness filled his eyes.

"I owe you my life."

That's all what he could say. Nothing more! Nothing more? After all this time, all I got was a thank you?

He grabbed my hand and ran to a door, up some stairs. It was hard keeping up with him. I tripped and he pulled me up again. He stopped in front of a door. Unlocked it and shoved me inside. "I live here."

His reason for taking me there was unknown. "I was so sure you had killed yourself." I was crying now. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so many emotions. I'm not sure if I even have. I hugged him, still not sure if he was real or not. It was like, I have no way to explain it, magical. It felt like this world wasn't real. Nothing was real, I hadn't aged since I was that little insecure girl who just wanted one thing. I was still that girl. I hadn't changed on the inside. Some things never change, and I was back to feeling frightened and worried about the other male I could never figure out. I was once again wondering what he was thinking. I didn't know him anymore, I didn't know much about him, he was still closed on the inside.

He was eyeing me, he was clearly thinking about something. I wanted to ask him what, I wanted to know what. It wasn't a question one could ask. You can never get under the skin of Deidara. He was a mysterious person. He held so many secrets that would never be told. No, he wouldn't have mind telling them. There was simply not enough time to listen to them all. His glare didn't move. He wore a smile on his lips. His eyes shining like a city at night. His chest moving up and down with every breath he took, but left me breathless. No other living person had this power over me. I wonder if my eyes still showed anger, if they told what I was feeling. All this questions he made me rise, but never ask.

He moved his hand over to my arms. I was too caught up in thoughts that I didn't notice the insecure shaking when he first touched me. No, my mind where somewhere else. My focus wasn't on him. My bottom lip quivering, about to speak, but he shushed me. He didn't want to ruin the movement. Tears leaking from my eyes again. I couldn't control myself. I was unsure what to do, too afraid and affected by the moment to move.

It felt like I was going through the seven stages of grief, denial, pain, anger, reflection then next was adjusting. The only problem was that I wasn't grieving. No, I was happy. I wasn't sad, happy. He wiped a tear away. His eyes searching for something. What, I didn't know. I breathed in and kissed him. I wasn't going to let him slip this time. No, we were both here. I moved my hands from his shirt too his hair. He moved his to my back. Both trying to bring the other closer. Our heads moving from side to side trying to deepen the kiss. Yes, we were both still unsecure teenagers. Clumsy, clingy and desperate.

It happened fast. It was something we both wanted, we needed this. We needed closure, but we started something new. "You got high because you had low self esteem, but you were always beautiful." I didn't want to talk. I just wanted him. Was he having second thoughts? We fell down on the sofa. Me on top. He looked scared. I sat down on him, my legs between him. He was scared. "I'm a mother." I told. He nodded. He understood. I couldn't waste my life on him, him that ran away. "You have nice curves now." If it was a comment to me being a mother or not I don't know. He was eying me, I didn't mind. He wasn't like any of the others.

He pulled me down again and kissed me again. It wasn't like only a few seconds ago. He wasn't sure if he wanted me anymore. He was to be married. I couldn't do this. I sat up again and looked down on him. "I'm a father too. I've never seen the kid. Does that make me a bad person? That I don't want anything to do with my own child?" He had tears in his eyes. "I don't think any less of you." I didn't, he had have enough to deal with. Not even I had been told I wasn't good enough to mother my own child. I lay down on him, this time hugging. He needed it. "It's never too late, you're never too old to learn how to love someone." He couldn't help but too cry. He answered me with a question that hurted. "Do you hate your father for leaving you?" I wasn't sure what to say, telling him no would be a lie, everything else might hurt him. "I hate him for what he did, not what he didn't."

All this depressing talk had definitely ruined our mood so we sat down in the sofa. "Care for some tea?" Deidara asked. "No, I need to pick up my son. I'll see you around?" He nodded, and I left.