I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut

And my weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real – Papa Roach

Sookie POV

When I see Pam's face as she comes into the office I know the phone call isn't a good one. When I see Eric's face pale and his face show worry, anger, and despair as he listens to the voice on the phone, I know there is trouble. But when I hear Eric say the name of his oldest child in a shaky voice, I start to understand just how much danger we are dealing with.

Even without vampire hearing, I can hear her voice through the phone as she just keeps repeating, "He's here! He's here! I saw him!" in a voice that matches the look that is currently on Eric's face. I can see the desperation in Eric's face, his posture. Everything about him right now is screaming at him to comfort his child and to make sure that she is safe, which is hard to do because she is half way across the world. But something tells me she won't be for much longer.

Eric starts to pace and when it is the way humans pace instead of the usual two or three steps vampires take when they are pacing, I know just how bad this is affecting him. I want nothing more than to take him in my arms but as he can't seem to stop moving, I know he will not respond well to that. So I do what I can and take Pam in my arms as my friend is trying hard to keep it together.

Eric says something sharply in another language and suddenly I can't hear Karin's voice through the phone anymore, or at least my human ears can't. Eric's tone then changes completely as he talks to Karin in a calm and soothing tone. It's still not English so I have no idea what he is saying but it seems like he is doing his best to calm her down. Of course, he seems to be getting more and more agitated as he wears down the carpet in his office.

When he switches over to English, I assume it's because he has managed to calm Karin down. I only hope that when this is all said and done, I can calm him down just as well. He's going to need it.

"Where did you see him?" Eric asks, his voice still thick with his accent. That is another clue to just how tense he really is about this, if his clenched fist and jaw wasn't anything to go on. I can only guess who the 'him' is that Eric is referring to. Granted, I don't know much about Karin's past but I do know one male vampire that would surely stir that kind of reaction out of her. When Pam whispers softly, "Appius, the bastard," my thoughts are confirmed.

That vampire needs to fall on a sharp piece of wood. Of course, a quick death like that would be too good for him. But that thought has me going back to when Eric had to kill Bill. I know Eric would have liked to have Bill for a few hours, days, probably even years down in his dungeon, and I feel a similar way about Appius for the pain he has caused those I love. But Eric killed Bill quickly to show him he wasn't worth the effort of anything more. Appius deserves to feel nights of pain, centuries of nights with pain for what he has done. But that would show him that he still has power over Eric, over us. It will show him that Eric hasn't moved on, hasn't realized just how worthless his maker truly is.

And that is when I understand just what Eric was trying to express to Bill while giving him a quick death.

"Did he approach you?" Eric asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. He closes his eyes and stops pacing for a few seconds. The tension leaves his body for a split second before it is back and he soon resumes his pacing. "He does not feel close to you. He has gotten closer but he is still far away."

Pam gasps at that and whispers, "That would put him closer to us too." I don't know if she is saying it for herself or for my benefit but whatever the reason, the news is definitely not good.

"It was not him, Karin," Eric says gently. "I know, I know," he adds as I can start to hear her voice again through the phone. She's not loud enough for me to understand her words yet but her anxiety is clearly picking up again. "It happened here too," Eric tells her before starting to explain our experience with the vampires that looked like Appius. His voice is shaky with anger when discussing Appius. When he reminds Karin about the vampire that looked like her it's still shaky but this time there is pain mixed in with the anger.

"He must be trying to use you to get to me. We need to get you here, but we need to do it smart. You cannot just jump on a plane and come here," he says as he slams down his hand on the desk in frustration. "And there is not enough time left before sunrise for you to start it tonight," he says more to himself than to Karin at this point. I can tell he's thinking something through. We do need to get Karin here but we need to make sure that it happens in a way that gets her here safe and Eric knows that.

Pam leans further into my embrace and just this one time I wish she would make a completely inappropriate comment about it. The fact that she hasn't is a sign of just how much she is affected by this as well.

"Here is what I want you to do," Eric starts as he tells her, and Pam and I, his plans. It will still take her a few nights to get here but hearing it, I know it's her best shot. Eric explains that Karin will go out tomorrow night and meet up with someone Eric has sent to guard her, a vampire name Ezekiel. Ezekiel, though he is paying off a favor to Eric really hasn't associated with Eric, or the US for that matter. Because of that he shouldn't be able to be tied to us. The two of them need to appear very close and Ezekiel will suggest taking a trip, which will start Karin's journey to us. I know Eric and Pam still aren't happy she can't get here more quickly; hell, I'm upset that she can't get here more quickly, but we need to get her here safely. That's what's most important.

"He is still far away from you, Karin," Eric tells her but I think he is repeating it more as a comfort for himself at this point. "He is obviously watching you though. That's why it needs to be Ezekiel that suggests a getaway. That way we can get you on a plane tomorrow, right before dawn." Again, the idea to have her travel during the day was not a favorite among us, but it gave Karin and Ezekiel the night to make sure their little affair looked genuine to anyone who may be watching. It also let them leave quickly before anyone could interfere.

Hopefully.

The two of them discuss plans as Pam and I watch Eric as he talks to Karin. Needing to do something except watch Eric as he tries to hold it together, I ask Pam what happened to Amelia. "When Karin called me, she called Tray to come and pick her up knowing that I would want to deal with this."

I try to read Pam's face but it is as stoic as ever, which makes it hard for me to tell if she is upset that Amelia didn't stay with her, stay for her. Pam could also be appreciative that Amelia left so she could deal with this. Of course, with this stoic look on her face, Pam could also be systematically plotting the death of the threat to her sister. That's what seems more likely.

And given the threat is Appius, and I already have a bone to pick with him, that's what I am currently doing in my head.

As soon as Eric is off the phone I have him in my arms somehow knowing that's what he needs. Pam is right behind me, seeking comfort for the potential danger for her sister from her maker. I cling to the both of them hoping that I can provide some comfort. "She'll get here," I say softly to them. "She's going to be here soon. She will be safe." I keep repeating those words to them.

I just hope I am telling them the truth.

Eric POV

We just cannot catch a break. It is looking like it will be impossible to do so. It is a good thing that I do not need to breathe, for I feel like I would not be able to catch my breath. And with that thought, I feel guilt at bringing Sookie further into this world, into my world. I would not change it and she does not seem to want to change it either, but that does not mean I do not feel guilty.

I feel similar as I felt when I did not remember anything from the time that I had amnesia, due to Hallow's spell. I once again feel like I am drowning. I feel like I am getting further and further away from the surface, and am being pulled further down by the night. I am worried that I will not be able to protect the ones that I love.

I fear I will not be able to protect my children from my maker. I have managed to keep Pam away before now but I have already seen what he is capable of or what he could do to them with Karin. Throwing Sookie into the mix well, that is something I do not want to think about. Her delicate human form would not stand up to much of what he could do to her. Then there are her Fae relations. I do not know what they want. I do not know all of their capabilities. Could they take her away from me? Could they take her against her will to their world?

And that is just considering the threats we do know. With whatever is going on with de Castro, the possibilities are seemingly endless.

But Sookie wraps her arms tighter around me and snuggles into me, her warmth giving me comfort. Pam clings to me and I feel her offering me comfort through our bond, even as she seeks and receives it from me. And even though the reason for it may not be the most pleasing, I would not give this up for anything. The feelings that these two women, and others that are not here at the moment, evoke in me are priceless and I would not trade it for anything. Wanting to keep these feelings, needing to keep feeling these emotions, that will be what gets me through whatever is coming for us. I am no longer just fighting for me or even for my children. This is more than that, deeper than that. I am just starting to realize what I have and I am not going to lose it.

So as Sookie's chant that Karin will get here safely starts to trail off, I pick it up. Because she is right, Karin will be here soon. She will arrive here safely. Only I add that we will beat these threats. We will come out stronger than ever when we do.

I kiss both of their heads before pulling away from them. "Far away," Pam asks as I start to walk to my desk.

"Far enough," I tell her starting to pick up my phone. The truth is though that I wish it were further. Appius is closer to her now than when I had searched for their location after the Karin look-a-like showed up at the bar, which suggests that he is trying to unnerve us. Or it could be a complete coincidence. But with the look-a-likes coming to the bar as well, the coincidence theory is very weak.

"Is Appius behind the look-a-likes?" Sookie asks gently causing me to put the phone down for a minute.

"I do not know," I say honestly. "A few months ago I would have said he would have never been this subtle. He would want me to suffer and he would want me to know that he was the one causing my pain. But now I see that his obvious actions were not as bad and it was actually his more subtle ones that had a longer impression. The physical wounds I could heal in a night. The emotional ones well, I find that I am still working on them.

"What do you think?" she asks me, her voice even more gentle than it was with her last question.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair at her question. I am unable to bring it back to my side however as when I lower it, Sookie grabs it and grasps it tight. I squeeze it back needing to feel something physical at the moment. "What I think," I start before hesitating. "Is that my maker has sent the look-a-likes to unnerve me. I think that we now have another threat to deal with besides de Castro. What I do not know is why."

"Does he need a reason, Eric," Sookie asks me with no antagonism in her voice. She is simply curious if Appius would be doing this just for the hell of it or if he would have a purpose. I take the time to think over her question but even after thinking about it, my answer does not change.

"Yes," I say to her nodding my head. "It may not be logical. It may not be reasonable, but he will have a reason that works for him. If we figure out what his reason is we will have a better understanding of what he is trying to do. That will help him stop us."

Sookie does not have another question after that. I look to Pam who has stayed unusually quiet and wrap my child in another hug. I chose to separate myself from Karin, foolishly thinking that it was best for her; that simply being around her would hurt her as she remembered what I did to her, what Appius forced me to do to her. In reality I hurt her by staying away but my choosing to stay away also hurt Pam. It hurt the relationship they could have had. I am not going to let that suffer any more.

Giving Pam one more kiss on the head, I pull away and again pick up my phone. I apologize before explaining that I have to make calls to ensure everything runs smoothly getting Karin here. "And I believe you have a phone call to make to," I tell Sookie, hoping she will make arrangements to meet her Fae cousins. I want her to have an opportunity to expand her family if she can but I will admit to also hoping that they can offer more information, and therefore more protection, about the warnings Niall had for us.

"Tomorrow. They probably still won't be up," she says, stalling because of the uncertainty I can feel coming off of her.

"Claude owns a club," I tell her gently. "He will most likely be up." I want to encourage her to do this, but I do not want her to feel forced.

It is Pam who finally speaks and tells her, "The longer you wait the more you will think. We all know how dangerous that is."

My child may have never been more correct in her words.

It does not take any more prodding after Pam's words. Sookie takes a few seconds before holding out her hand for a phone. "Just in case," she says as I give her one I have here at Fangtasia. In theory it is not traceable and she is correct to ask for it. As she said, 'just in case.'

Sookie and I both make our phone calls. I make the necessary arrangements and Sookie manages to get through to Claude with little issue, though meeting at night so that I can be present does cause an issue with the faery. I can hear him through the phone but Sookie makes it clear they will be in no danger from me and this is a non-negotiable term. In the end Claude agrees but only because Claudine starts pestering him to.

Done with the phone calls the three of us all sit down on the couch and simply are with each other. I am not sure what the two women are thinking, but I am going over every possible scenario I can think of in my head and making sure I have back up plan after back up plan for every scenario I can come up with. I am not sure how much time goes by before I find myself with Sookie sitting across my lap and Pam having moved over to rest her head on my shoulder.

And that is how we are when the door to my office opens again.

Thalia POV

I managed to complete my duty. The Stackhouse boy made it safely to his house. It was never specified however, that I had to drop him off and go right back to Fangtasia. I find myself not wanting to.

And I'm not exactly sure what to do with that feeling.

I was able to stay quiet on the way to his house. Jason had more than taken over the conversation; it seemed like it was natural for him to do so. I couldn't help but laugh at his jokes, laugh at his stories, laugh at how full of life he is. It reminds me of someone else I knew, someone else I knew very well.

I say goodnight to Jason as I start to get out of his truck. That is when he smiles at me and says, "You're not leavin' yet, are you?" Seeing the smile on his face makes me something stir in me that has not in centuries. Or to be more honest, I haven't let it stir in me for centuries. The simple thought of it was not something that I could stand.

Until now, and I am trying to figure out, trying to remember what it means.

But I can't say no to that smile and more importantly, I don't want to. So instead I accept his invitation inside as he shows me around his home, his home where he spent too little of his childhood. I can't help but smile and then laugh as he shows me the spot in his house where he got his first cut that needed stitches and the first dent he made in the wall getting a concussion.

All too soon, it is time for me to leave. I do have a few things I need to check on before sunrise, unfortunately. Jason walks me to the door like a gentleman, which after hearing his sister's tales about him is a surprise. I walk out the door and turn to him before leaving and am surprised when he is closer than I thought, even with my vampire senses. His eyes catch mine and I'm not exactly sure what they see but he takes a step away from me. I try to ignore what I feel when he does that. But a smirk appears on his face as he asks, "So you hang out with Sookie often?"

I nod at that and the smile grows bigger on his face. "I may just have to visit her more often then," he says before winking at me and closing the door.

I don't know what to make of that. I don't know what to make of him.

What I do know is I like the way I feel with him. That's a start I guess.

I start to head back to Fangtasia, running as I do not have a car, more confused with tonight than I have been in along time. I, like Eric, haven't felt much in a long time. But Eric was tricked into not feeling anything; he was in a way forced to keep his feelings clamped down. I had suppressed feelings for an entirely different reason but I am finding it hard and harder to keep them suppressed. In addition, for the first time in a long time I find myself not wanting to. In fact, for the first time in centuries I want to embrace them.

And like Eric said, that's a scary feeling at times.

As I enter the club, everything seems like it's going well. No one, at least no human enjoying the club, would recognize there is anything wrong. But I can sense it as I walk across the dance floor. Felicia and the other vampires out front don't seem to know what happened.

That just tells me how bad it is.

I make my way back to Eric's office, which is where the three would be if they are still here. No one saw them leave but that doesn't mean anything. I see that they haven't left yet as the three of them are cuddled on the couch together as I open the door to Eric's office. They look like they have been through the wringer in the short few hours since I had left them. The look on their faces tells me much of what I need to know and I am sure I will get the details later.

So I join them on the couch and I'm not sure if I would call it cuddling, but Pam switches her head to my shoulder as I do so. Sookie spreads out a bit more so that though she is still on Eric's lap, her legs are resting across Pam and I. She softly asks if Jason got home okay and I tell her yes, trying to maintain a straight, vampire face. I can tell by the smirk on her face, I fail. The smirk doesn't last long though as the silence of our thoughts soon returns to the room.

After another few minutes I can't stand it any longer and ask, "Okay, who do I have to kill," not entirely joking; okay, maybe not joking at all. Because for these three sitting on the couch with me, and maybe one or two others, I would kill for no questions asked.

Because in the vampire world, that's what you do for those care about.

Hello dear readers. I do hope that you enjoyed this chapter on this chilly Sunday, chilly where I am at least. Thanks for reading!