I can still feel you Chapter 7, a twilight fanfic

A new chapter! Okay so from the beginning when I sat down and started writing this chapter I had thought that there would be a lot more Edward x Bella in it. But it turned out that so much happened in this chapter anyway so it would just have been too much to put in the parts which existed originally. So I this chapter has been split into two different chapter instead so that you as a reader can feel that you don´t have to pick up to much information in a very short amount of time.

Before I end this AN I also want to send a thank you to those who have reviewed this chapter and the whole story. You are a great support. I also want to send a special thanks to twilighter987 who helped me to keep on writing by reminding that even though there was a long time between my updates, there were still those who waited for an update on this story. So thanks to all of you ho keep me, and this story moving forward.

Chapter 7

Bella´s POV

"Bells, Jake offered to drive you to school last night and I accepted it. Is that okay with you?" Charlie asked as he sat down on the opposite side of the dinner-table looking at me.

"Doesn't Jake have to go to school as well dad?" I asked with an annoyed tone.

"He said he has the day off today. Apparently it was some kind of special day in the reservation."

"You know another word for that is skipping" I said making sure to put an extra tone to the last word. Charlie just told me to stop being so silly and got back to eating his breakfast. Luckily he had decided not to try his cooking skills again this morning and I could have an eatable breakfast consisting milk and cereals. Not a word had been spoken between us the whole morning, well except for the small conversation just now. I knew Charlie was trying to make me feel guilty for leaving Jake´s house last night, but if he thought he could wait me out he was dead wrong.

I was never going to feel guilty for (in my point of view) trying to keep my sanity. If I had stayed with all those loving couples I would have, literally, had a mental breakdown. Okay maybe I was exaggerating a little, but that was what it felt like that the moment.

"I´m leaving now Bells. Jacob should be here in five minutes. Be careful!" Charlie said before he stepped out the door.

Yeah, like I could be anything but careful with a bodyguard around me. I was not stupid. I knew that Jake had offered to take me to school because he and Sam wanted to keep an eye on me. I had even heard their conversation last night before Jacob talked to Charlie. Somehow I felt betrayed by their lack of trust. I knew that they just cared about me, but why didn´t they trust me knowing what was best for me and being able to take care of myself? I was 17 years old for God´s sake and older than Jake with two years. No matter what loss of sense or handicap I had.

Suddenly the cereal left in the bowl tasted like sawdust and I rose from my chair, emptied my remaining breakfast into the sink and put the bowl away. That was when I heard the doorbell ringing. Slowly I went to the front door and opened it.

"Hey Bells!" A happy Jake said before he hugged me. Half heartedly I hugged him back and told him to wait while I got my bag and shoes. For some reason he didn´t insist on helping me and I was glad for that. My new realization suddenly didn´t make me very comfortable in Jakes presence any more. What did you think he thought of you? In his eyes you have always been weak and fragile. As much as those thoughts hurt me, they also seemed true. I quickly thought back on my life and I asked myself; who had ever seen Bella Swan as anything else but a small child except my mom? The answer was quite terrifying because I couldn´t think of anyone. Until last night I would have counted Sam into that league as well, but now I wasn´t sure any longer.

"We´re here Bella, you can let go of me now." Jake chuckled and I was suddenly aware of all the voices around me. I felt how nearly every single eye was focused on me and Jake. Everyone was whispering different theories about our relationship to each other and they all seemed to become more horrifying than the last. But there was one presence which stood out from the rest of the crowd and seemed to draw me in, wanting my attention. When Jake finally had pulled my helmet off my head I turned in the direction my mind was carving me to turn my attention to. When I was finally "staring" at the person in question I just knew immediately that it was Edward.

He and his family were standing around his car and even though I still couldn´t feel the difference between him and Jasper, I knew it was him. Somehow knowing that he was looking at me caused a warm feeling to spread in my body.

"Bella are there any friends that can help you to your class?" Jake snapped at me with a sharp voice which made me turn away from Edward and I "looked" at him confused. He was shaking again and he was radiating anger. What was his problem?

"Yes I was going to meet up with Ang…" I began before I was interrupted by a shrilling voice screaming my name. Jessica. And next to her walked a girl who could only be Lauren. Both of them seemed excited and nervous from what their heartbeats were telling me, but I couldn´t be sure.

"Are you two friends of Bella?" Jake asked when they stopped in front of us and I could hear the doubt in his voice. At least he knew me good enough to not believe that I would stand these two. I mean both of them had to have brains in the same size as a small rock. Probably with as many brain cells too.

"Yes we met each other yesterday and really bonded. My name is Lauren by the way." Lauren said with a silky sweet voice which made me want to gag as she placed a hand on Jake´s left arm.

"Good to see you Lauren and I´m already taken." Jake said with very polite voice and I had to try really hard not to giggle. That Lauren was glaring at me, assuming that I was Jake´s girlfriend didn´t bother me for a second.

"I will come and get you then after school Bells, Charlie said he had to be working late. There was some kind of case he was working on." Jake said embracing me and placing a kiss on my forehead. For a second it felt like he was the old Jake again, the one I truly trusted and who didn´t see me as a small kid, but then that moment was destroyed as he sat up on his cycle and said with a serious voice; "Be careful". It felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over me. Why did he have to say those last two words?

"So Bella, I thought you didn´t have a boyfriend." Jessica said next to me, her voice vibrating with curiosity and excitement about this new information as Jake drove away.

"I don´t" I said "Jake and I have been best friends since we were little. Our fathers have always been friends as well so it just became natural for us to meet every weekend and become friends."

"Well it didn´t seem like you two were just friends." Lauren spat at me.

"We have always been close, but I love him like a brother. He is dating a girl from the reservation. Vanessa Wolf I think her name was. Have you heard of her?"

"Ohh well then I guess he really is taken" Jessica said still with a cheerful voice. Something told me that within ten minutes everyone in Forks High would know that Jacob was dating Nessie and that I was the best friend who wanted to ruin that relationship so I could take her place. Yeah right! Like that would ever happen.

"We'll see you later Bella." Lauren suddenly said and both of them started to walk away. For a minute I felt very lost. I couldn´t just walk away as if I could see and I couldn´t just stand here either. Then I heard silent steeps walking towards me.

"Hey Bella, we would meet before class and when I saw Lauren and Jessica leave you here I thought you might want a hand, or a pair of eyes." I heard a shy voice saying to left.

"Angela" I breathed relived that she, unknowingly, had saved me from my dilemma. I reached my hand out in her direction and she carefully took it as we began to walk to class. Her comment about me needing to borrow a pair of eyes didn´t bothers me a bit, it was true after all, and I told her that when she started too apologize for choosing such a bad expression.

"It was really mean of Lauren and Jessica to just leave you there in parking lot. Especially after they´d lured your friend away." It was quite a relief that Angela seemed to think of Jake as my friend and not my boyfriend. Then there were at least one person less on this school to convince.

"They don´t like me very much do they?" I asked her. I was actually a little curios to know why they didn´t like me. I had never before had the chance to ask anyone why girls always seemed to have that reaction against me. I felt Angela eyeing me for a few seconds before she answered. It was almost as if she was trying to see if I was hiding any emotions saying I wasn´t hurt by their behavior.

"No they don't actually. Or I don´t think Jessica really care that much. She really is just about the gossip of this school and as long you won't try to go after Mike she will not care about what you do. It is Lauren who is the brain behind it all if you say so. She talked about you yesterday on our lesson in PE. She tried to hide it but I could see that she feels threatened by you. She has kind of been the head of this school for so long that she doesn't want to let anyone else take over that position."

Hmm… It seemed as if Lauren had gotten this whole situation wrong. Very wrong. I didn´t understand why though. From what I knew, I had never been considered a threat before, so why now?

"But I have no intention to become popular, quite the opposite actually. Why would she see me as a threat anyway?" I asked Angela with a disbelieving voice trying to figure out what had caused Lauren to get these feelings towards me. From what I had learned she was not going to let this go and that was the one thing I wanted her to do. But as long she was determined to try to keep me out of the way she wouldn´t leave me alone.

"You needing to ask a question like that make it very obvious that you´re blind. You are beautiful Bella. A hundred times more beautiful than Lauren will ever be and she is scared that you are going to take advantage of that beauty to overthrow her." Angela´s voice was totally honest when she said that and nothing I could pick up from her told me she was lying. Before I had a chance to protest our lesson started.

Neither Angela nor I took up the subject Lauren again after that conversation. Instead we tried to learn more about each other, even though I made sure Angela did most of the talking. I don´t think she ever had talked this much to a person who really was interested in everything she had to tell. But I really was interested in what she told me about her life. It was very strange hearing how different her life was compared to my own.

She had grown up in a very loving family. They had never been rich, but they had always had each other and they always stood up for their family members. Angela also tried to describe the world she saw every day and that she had been taken for granted before she met me. That was another thing that showed her inner kindness. She told me about when she was little and she used to look at the stars every night, seeing creatures and making up their life stories. Sometimes she would blush and excuse herself for boring me. But each time I would tell her that I wasn´t bored and that I really wanted to know more about her, and each time she would give me a big smile before she kept on talking.

She seemed to know that I didn´t want to talk about myself and just asked me a few questions that I tried to evaluate as good I could. But it was very hard for me to open up to her and I started to wonder if I would always be closed as a shell.

The day went by very fast and soon it was lunch. When we were heading towards the cafeteria Angela suddenly stopped. I tried focusing on what had caused her to do this, but there were too many humans for me to be able to pick one out. Then I felt how someone stopped in front of us.

"Hi Angela. Would you like to sit with me at lunch today?" A much more confident Ben asked her. I felt how Angela threw a look at me before answering.

"Actually Ben I had promised to sit with Bella, but you can join us if you like." She told him. No way. I was not going to let her miss this opportunity to get to know Ben before she went to the movies with him on Sunday. Before Ben had the chance to replay I spoke.

"Angela, I actually have quite a headache and I don´t want you two to have to whisper all lunch. You go sit with Ben, we can have lunch tomorrow." She was eyeing me before I felt how realization came over her.

"If you say so Bella, I don´t want to make your headache even worse. I would love to sit with you at lunch Ben." She said looking at him.

"Great!" He said. "I will go fix us a table." And with those words he started to make his way through the crowed.

"You didn´t have to that" Angela told me as we started walking.

"I know" I said. "But now you will know if you are going on a date with a total nerd or with a pretty decent guy." I said with a teasing voice and a small smile on my face.

"Pretty decent?" She said questioning, but I could hear that she wasn´t far from laughter.

"Oh yes, guys our age can´t unfortunately be any more than that. They are so controlled by their hormones that they can´t think straight when they see a pretty girl. We are lucky they aren´t like dogs."

"Oh really?"

"Yea, it would be very annoying having ten guys running after you drooling and breathing loudly. But then again I think some of them actually have done that sometime, so maybe they are closer related than we know." Hearing that comment Angela burst out laughing and it didn´t take long before I joined her too.

I was sitting at a table in the back of the cafeteria playing with an apple. Angela had helped me to choose some food and then helped me to a table near the one she was sitting at. That made it possible for me to hear what she and Ben were saying. But I had decided not to listen to their private conversation. More than the first five minutes that is and it was just to find out if Ben really was a decent guy. From what I had heard he was. He had even risen to draw out Angela´s chair before she sat down. It was really cute and reminded me about the novels I had been reading.

The noise in the cafeteria was very loud and I tried not to listen to anyone's private conversations so I laid my whole focus on the apple in my hand. I could feel every single line on the shell and every single cell inside of it. I could tell that this apple would be very juicy if I ate it, the fruit juice was poring through little tunnels following the moments that was created as I turned the apple in my hands. But I was not going to eat it since I wasn´t hungry. I never was in the middle of the day.

The hearing of someone saying my name made my body tense and I focused my hearing on the person speaking, the apple forgotten.

"…Bella today." The voice was small and pixie like. Alice.

"I will not sit with that…freak Alice! She already knows too much about our family. Do you want her to know even more? To figure it out! We would be doomed forever! The Volturi would come after us." That was defiantly Rosalie speaking. She sounded angry, but I could hear the panic and stress in her voice. No one else would ever be able to pick it up, but I had heard it before.

"You are being silly Rose, Bella would never hurt our family I know it." Her sister just said.

"It is always the ones you think you know that will end up stabbing you in the back." Rosalie sounded like she was in pain and I wasn´t surprised. Extremely protective of her family, hate and panic against strangers and obvious pain. I had heard and sensed it all before. I knew that all this symptoms pointed to one thing and the knowledge made my heart ache for this girl.

"Come on Rosie I want to talk with the girl who have finally made Eddie´s heart beat." The guy named Emmett said with a pleading tone. For some reason his words made my heart flutter and my cheeks to become warm. Then I heard someone smacking him in the head and I just knew it was Edward. His presence stood out and I was much more aware of him than any other person in the whole cafeteria.

"I agree with Emmett, come on Rose!" Alice said with a chirpy voice not noticing her sister's discomfort. Rosalie obviously had no idea how to handle this problem and something told me she hadn´t been questioned like this before. I knew it was very hard for someone in her position to dare taking a step forward, because it felt as if with that one step your whole world could come crashing down. It was time to help her to take that first step; otherwise she would never become better.

"I know how it is standing at the edge Rosalie; dreading to take that final step. But you must understand that you cannot live with the pain for all of your life. It will consume you and finally destroy you. In the end there will be nothing left but a shell of who you once were. I have seen it happen, I have been there. It is time to move forward." My voice was only a whisper and my lips were barley moving as I had started to play with the apple again. Just the tension coming from the Cullens told me that they had heard me. All of them were staring me, their eyes boring into my skin before I heard light a pair of light footsteps walking towards me. Then someone pulled out a chair and sat down at my table.

Rosalie had placed her full food try on the table and was still staring at me while I ignored her. She would have to talk first. I noticed how silent the cafeteria had been and the only thing breaking the silence was six pair footsteps now also moving in our direction. The rest of Cullens sat down at my table as well. Edward was sitting closest to me and it felt as if sparks were flying through the air between us though I managed to ignore them, for now.

"What did you mean by that?" She asked me with a small voice and I let my head turn in her direction. If I had been seeing I had been staring at her. For a long time we looked at each other, then she started to move in her seat and Emmett placed his arm around her shoulders glaring at me. Just before he opened his mouth I turned away and to stare at the apple.

"I have been where you are and met others who have been there as well." I was only focused on Rosalie.

"And where am I?" She asked, her voice mocking.

"You´re at a crossroad and have been there for a long time. You don´t know if you are going to go right or left, because you can´t see were either of those two roads will lead you. So instead of choosing one of them you allow yourself to get lost in the past, even though it is a past which causes you pain and suffering each day. Still you except that because you are afraid of the future and change, you believe it is better to dwell in your pain than to heal and having to go through it once again." Silence was my only answer before I heard her in draw a shaky breath.

"That is how I feel, but how could you know?" She sounded both scared and amazed.

"I have met many people in my life who have acted similar to you and they all shared the same horrible experiences. And all of them were afraid of what would come." I felt sad thinking back that those moments in my life.

"What do you mean that they acted similar to my Rose?" Emmett asked me, and I couldn´t help but to sigh before I decided to tell them, in my own way.

"So brave she was the first of the three" I began. I was sounding older than my 17 years and my voice was full of sorrow. "Never showed her parents her pain and suffering, helped them to go through the hard time while she was dying on inside. Only to a young girl, understanding and alone, she showed her true self and cried for hours. But she never allowed anyone near the ones she loved and she hated the world in secret. She protected her family like a lioness protects her cubs. Everyone believed she was happy and loving, when she in reality was cold as ice. In the end she just wanted to feel again, get away from her numb state. The knife against her skin, slashing it open became her salvation until the need became so strong that she no longer could survive in this world. She was gone forever to live in the darkness.

The second girl never said a word again; she was lost in her mind and her pain. Screaming when anyone came near and only seeing the shadows and evil in this world. No one could be trusted. No one was true or good. She was now only trash to throw in the garbage, and it was all her fault. After months things seemed finally to get better. She talked with the little girl living in the dark, blind to the world. But when the one she trusted was taken away from her the pain of being alone became too much and in the end she no longer had to draw the breaths which had felt like burning knifes in her chest.

The last girl cried and screamed. She talked and hated, blamed everyone for not being there when she needed them to be. Questioned the order of the world and doubted in herself. To the one with no sight she talked for hours and listened to what the sightless told her. She demanded justice and fought for her rights. She stayed true to her family and allowed them to see her pain. She dared to take small steps which grew for each day. In the end she was free from the pain and the dark, never the same, but stronger than ever and with just a small scare on the inside. Married with children she today is happy and will one day fall asleep with a smile, to see the light and joy that she has created in this world."

When I stopped talking I heard that the others in the cafeteria were now talking as normal, but many was still staring at my now full table. All the Cullens were also staring, frozen in their seats, trying to grasp what I had just told them. I felt how disbelief was pouring from Rosalie for a long time before she spoke.

"You really do know what I have been through?" She whispered to me.

"I know." I told her, keeping my voice just as low as hers.

"Who am I?" She asked, her voice trembling.

"A mix of the first and the second, but you don´t have to be either of them. Dare to be the third, dare to take a step forward."

"I don´t know how." She sounded as if she was crying, but I could tell no tears were falling from her eyes. Strange.

"Trust that I won´t hurt you or your family." I told her, my voice securing and calm. Her whole family was now looking at her and in the beginning I didn´t think she was going to do anything, that she already was too far into the darkness I knew was eating her up from the inside. Then to my big surprise I felt how she reached over the table, hesitant, before she took my hand which wasn´t holding the apple. The information shoot through me. Rosalie truly was beautiful, not a single fault from what I could tell.

"I think I can trust you, but please don´t make me regret that trust." She said with a small voice which was very hesitant. I only gave her stone hard hand a small squeeze before I let her hand go. She knew with once what I wanted and drew her hand back.

"You are the girl in the stories aren't you?" Alice asked serious.

"Losing a sense is very hard but being born without one is a lot easier I think because you have nothing to miss. Unfortunately some believe that the girl with "bigger" problems can help those who don´t want to live to understand what they have. In reality though a blind girl can´t help a teenager who has been beaten, raped and thrown away like trash by the one she loved." I said.

"I am sorry." The brother named Jasper said.

"Don´t be. It was not your fault was it? Now what made you want to sit with the new girl today? Are you curios about the weather in Phoenix during the weekends?" I tried to ease up the atmosphere and I succeeded as I felt how it did become lighter.

"Why would anyone ask you about the weather on the weekends in Phoenix?" Edward said next to me and I couldn´t help to feel how my heart speed up a little. It was very embarrassing since I knew that the Cullens could hear the change.

"I don´t know, you have to ask Jessica. But then again that might not be a good idea; you don´t want to be infected by the waves of dumbness which seems to come over her sometimes. Plus she is wearing a lot of perfume today trying to hide the smell of alcohol she drank this morning." I said remembering the smell which had hung around her. Emmett started laughing loudly at my comment along with Jasper.

"To bad it is true." Alice said and that only caused Emmett to laugh even louder. Everyone was staring at us now again but the Cullens didn´t seem to care so I ignored it was well. Then I heard how the old speakers came to life with a lot of cracking and banging in the cafeteria before we all could hear Mrs. Copes voice.

"All students who have biology today with Mr. Banner is allowed to go home after lunch. Mr. Banner is sick and no substitute teacher is available. End of massage." A big cheer was heard along with a lot of groaning from those who wasn´t getting out of school. The ones who did though began running out of the cafeteria. I on the other hand was neither cheering nor groaning. How was I going to get home? I couldn´t call Charlie and there was no way in hell I would call Jacob. Guess I will be walking and be busted at the same time. I thought bitterly.

"Bella do you have someone to pick you up and drive you home?" Alice suddenly asked.

"Umm… no but I can always wait here till Charlie comes off from work."

"I can drive you if you want. My siblings took Rosalie´s car to school today anyway so they can always get home without me driving them." It felt as if my heart had stopped before it started beating rabidly. Edward Cullen just asked me if I wanted to get a ride home. With him. Alone.

"That would be very kind of you Edward. But I will only accept it if it doesn't cause you any trouble."

"No problem at all." He promised me, sounding very happy. Did he want to get to know me as much as I wanted to get to know him? Maybe he was feeling this strange connection between us as well? That thought made me very happy and then something hit me. I already liked Edward Cullen and as I was taking this final step there was nothing that was going to keep me from falling. Let´s just hope it will be one heck of a fall. I thought to myself.

Edward´s POV

It was early in the morning when I returned back to our house. After I had left Bella standing in her window I had decided not go home again since I wasn´t very eager to hear my families thoughts during the night. Instead I had been walking around in the forest, trying to find Bella´s sent from two days ago when I had seen her for the first time. She had to have walked through the forest to get to our house and it seemed very strange that it only had been two days since I saw her emerging from the forest. So much had changed since then. Things would never be the same or go back to the way it once was.

After a few hours I had finally found her sent, but not on the ground. I had picked up a small part of her sent when a small squirrel had been running from me as I walked by. I still hadn´t figured out how that creature could smell a little like my Bella, but I guess there was a logical reason for it.

"Edward where have you been? Now I won't have time to pick your outfit!" I heard how an angry Alice came stomping down the stairs yelling at me as she did so.

"Alice we are vampires and you has the ability to see the future, I don´t think time will be a problem." My sister was quiet for a long time trying to argue with me but she knew what I was saying was the truth and she had nothing to put against that.

"Don´t you be such a smart ass Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" She screamed before stomping up the stairs again. I followed her, chuckling a little to myself. I knew that Alice wasn´t really angry, she just didn´t like when someone put her into place. Then suddenly I saw me in a pink pair of trousers and a pink shirt before she began singing the national song in her head.

"If you put that on me you will never have the chance to pick my cloths again Alice." I said my voice dead serious.

"Stupid mind reader" She muttered before she turned around and stuck her tongue out at me. Then she turned back to the closet looking for something she thought would fit me today.

I knew where you were tonight Edward. I saw it before you jumped out the window.

I glared at her as she saw what I was going to answer.

No I did not tell Jasper or anyone else for that matter. I know how much you go through every day and still you don´t try to interfere in our relationships when we have a fight or something. I mean you know us as good as we know ourselves. So you don´t have to be so angry at me since I didn´t tell them. I actually think it was very cute of you to look after her. Perfect!

She had pulled out an outfit and threw it at me with vampire speed so I nearly didn´t have the time to see what she had thrown at me. But before I had the time to chase after her she was already out of the house in Rosalie´s car.

Rose and I take her car to school today, have fun! She thought before I heard how Rose started to speed away from our house, both of them laughing. Shaking my head I went to my closet and picked out another shirt. The one Alice had given me I threw in the trash, but I could still see the text where it stood: "After over 100 years I have finally discovered that I like girls!" with big golden letters.

"So Rosie and Alice drove to school themselves today?" Emmett asked me from my right in the passenger seat.

"Yes." I said very annoyed since he had been asking the same question over and over since we got in the car.

"Because they pulled a prank on you?"

"Yes"

"And they knew you would get angry?"

This time I didn´t even answer him but just glared at him instead.

"So Rose and Alice are not going to ride with us to school today?" I let out a frustrated growl while Jasper shook his head smiling a little in backseat.

"I think we have made that one clear now Emmett." He said.

"Cool! So now what do you guys think of that Bella Swan girl? Hot isn't she?" Emmett suddenly said causing me to cough and Jasper to hit him in the back of his head.

"What?""

"If you didn´t miss it Emmett you already have a mate, who would kill you if she heard those words leaving your mouth." My youngest brother said as I increased the speed a little. I could hear from Emmett´s thoughts where this was leading and I wasn´t in the mood right now. Having to explain later today to my parents why Carlisle would have to fix Emmett´s arm would be a pain as well.

"There is nothing wrong with appreciate a beautiful girl when you see one. Especially not when said girl even manages to get little Eddie here to notice her." Emmett said as he moved one of his fingers in front of my face. Wouldn´t hurt him too much to lose a finger would it? I thought to myself as I tried to shut him out. This was going to be one long journey.

When we finally reached the school Emmett was still intact, nearly. When he had become to annoying I had hit him really hard in the head, nearly causing it to crack, but my stupid brother had only laughed and said that I couldn't hit him hard enough. I had heard Jasper in the backseat wondering if Emmett had a death wish and I had been thinking the same thing.

I saw there was a free spot nest to Rose´s car so I parked there just as my two sisters opened their car doors to great their husbands. Alice pouted a little when she saw that I wasn´t wearing the shirt, but I could also see the teasing glint in her eyes.

The parking lot was nearly full and everywhere other students stood in groups talking with each other. I could see Jessica and Lauren talking to their gang and I could see Angela standing there as well. Mike and Tyler were messing with some senior girl trying to ask her out while she completely ignoring them as she kept on talking to her friends who look annoyed by the company. When they saw me looking at them on the other hand all of started smiling in my direction, giggling and tried to be flirty. They didn´t interest me one bit so I kept on looking for the one person I wanted to see, but Bella was no were to be found. That I couldn´t hear her mind also made it impossible for me to know if she was inside the school.

Then everyone on the parking lot could hear the loud sound of a speeding motorcycle. Just my family knew that sound, while the rest of the students started asking each other who had a motorcycle in Forks. Was it someone they knew? Then the black motorcycle drove into the parking lot, the dog driving and Bella holding onto his waist. Mike, Tyler and Eric all stared at the dog with hateful eyes, Jessica was nearly bursting with joy over the chance of new gossip and Laruen was fuming.

The dog riding the motorcycle stopped in the middle of the parking lot, his back to us. His mind told me that he had noticed us the second he came close to the school and that he wasn´t going to let Bella anywhere near us. Apparently he and his pack of mutants thought that we were after the chief's daughter since he had told them that she had been over at our place earlier and had been talking to us yesterday when he came to pick her up.

For some reason he couldn´t figure out, Jasper could read that Bella was feeling sad and angry, but also a little excited. We could hear how the dog chuckled as he lifted my angel of his motorcycle and pulled her helmet off.

To my big surprise Bella turned around the same moment she was free from her helmet and her white eyes bored into my own. I simply couldn't look away from her burning stare as I saw the life that lived in there despite her blindness. Her eyes nearly seemed to glow and I felt how a slow fire started to spread in my chest.

"Bella are there any friends that can help you to your class?" The dog suddenly snapped and my angel turned around to face him, our connection broken. I swear to the old spirits that that bloodsucker is trying to do something to our Bella. How else could she know where he stood? I have to tell Sam. The mutt´s thoughts echoed angrily in his head.

Then Jessica and Lauren walked up to Bella and him as they introduced themselves as Bella´s friendssince they had been hearing the dog´s question. When we saw Laurens horrible attempt to act sexy and flirt with the mutt and he just brushed it off all of my siblings laughed. I on the other hand became completely cold inside as a thought hit me. What if Bella was dating this thing? He had said that he already was taken and he and Bella hadn´t exactly acted like they were just friends yesterday. They had actually acted like a couple. I had been too busy worrying about Bella earlier to actually think about how their acting against each other could tell me about their relationship.

Then it felt as if my heart would crack when I saw how the mutt gave my Bella a kiss on forehead before he hopped up his motorcycle and drove away as he gave my family a death glare. What hurt the most though was seeing the look on Bella´s face. She looked broken when he drove away, as if her whole life drove away on that motorcycle. I could feel Jasper trying to ease my pain a little but right now I didn´t care about that. Had I been alone for over a century just to lose the person who could be one? Had I done something in my earlier life to deserve the pain which was ripping trough me now? What scared me was that I nearly didn´t know Bella and I had already become so attached to her. Then I heard something that made hope come alive once more.

"I don´t" Bella said to Jessica who just had asked her a question. "Jake and I have been best friends since we were little. Our fathers have always been friends as well so it just became natural for us to meet every weekend and become friends."

"Well it didn´t seem like you two were just friends." Lauren spat at her thinking that she was lying.

"We have always been close, but I love him like a brother. He is dating a girl from the reservation. Vanessa Wolf I think her name was. Have you heard of her?"

"Ohh well then I guess he really is taken" Jessica said, already thinking out a different story to tell everyone at our school to make this gossip a little juicer. I on the other hand felt how the small hope grew a little stronger again. She is being honest Edward. I then heard Jasper thoughts and I knew he was talking about Bella.

"We'll see you later Bella." Lauren suddenly said and both of them started to walk away from my angel who looked very lost and confused, now standing in the middle of the parking lot alone. Without thinking I took a few steps in her direction before I saw how Angela walked up to Bella and how her face turned into one of relief. Not slowing down my speed I simply just changed my direction a bit. No human would ever been able to see that I had had any other intention then to walk into the school just a few seconds ago. My siblings on the other hand did and I could hear their worried thoughts from behind me. None of them had thought that what I felt for Bella already had grown so strong and I could tell that Alice, Rose and Em all felt guilty for teasing me earlier. But instead of waiting for them I simply just kept on walking.

Alice and I were having our usual lesson in English. We were sitting in the back of the classroom as I stared out of the window, not listing to the teacher.

I´m sorry Edward, for earlier. I didn´t know you already liked her so much. I could suddenly hear my sister thinking to me.

You if anyone should know. You can see the future. I told her bitterly through one of her visions.

I am a little afraid Edward and Jasper is as well. Her thoughts confused me and I turned to look at my favorite sister. She did have sad expression on her face.

"Why?" I asked her quietly.

It has all gone so fast and you are already so in love with her, don´t try to deny it. Your face earlier today, I have never seen anyone so broken. It was as if you were burning up on the inside. I just don´t want to lose my brother. I could see how tears started to well in her eyes as I understood what she was thinking. She was worried that I would go to the Volturi if I lost Bella. I took her hand and forced her to look in my eyes.

"I am not going anywhere Alice. I promise. And even if Bella, by a miracle, ever will be able to love something like me in the future you will still always be my sister."

She will. Alice thought to me as I saw the same vision I had seen earlier, the only difference was that it now was a lot stronger than before. I have never seen anything so clear. She told me.

After Alice and I had had our "talk" the day went by pretty slowly. A few times I had gotten a glimpse of Bella walking in the hallways between two lessons and each time she was talking to Angela. They really seemed to have bonded and never before had I heard Angela´s thoughts being so happy. For the first time she felt as if she had found a real friend that she could talk to. What also amazed her was that Bella seemed so interested in her life since Angela herself thought it was very boring. Bella on the other hand seemed to find every single detail more important than the last.

When it finally was lunch I met up with my family as usual outside of the cafeteria before we walked in together. At once I started searching for Bella and it took some time before I found her. She was sitting in the back, playing with a blood red apple in her white hand. The contrast was the same as it had been if there had been a vampire holding the same apple. It looked as if she was totally focused on the fruit in her hand and didn´t pay any attention to what was happening around her.

"I thought we could sit with Bella today." Alice suddenly said as we stood in the food line filling our trays. Rosalie froze for a second before her expression turned murderous and I heard how Jasper tried to figure out why his true love had decided to walk directly into enemy land. Emmett was also worried about his sister while he looked at Rose trying to figure out what she would do next.

"I will not sit with that…freak Alice! She already knows too much about our family. Do you want her to know even more? To figure it out! We would be doomed forever! The Volturi would come after us." Rosalie more like yelled than whispered at Alice with a furious expression on her face.

"You are being silly Rose, Bella would never hurt our family I know it." Alice just said referring to her visions but I saw how she threw a very quick glance at me so I gave her a calming smile.

"It is always the ones you think you know that will end up stabbing you in the back." Rosalie said while Emmett paid for our food and both Jasper and I could tell that she was thinking back at the last night in her human life. I could read it from her thoughts and Jasper could feel the pain she was feeling each time she thought back at that memory.

"Come on Rosie I want to talk with the girl who have finally made Eddie´s heart beat." Emmett said with a pleading tone since he wanted our sister to finally open up just as much as we did and let go of her horrifying past. I knew that even if I was the mind reader of the family it was Emmett who suffered the most. He knew that there always was a part of his beloved that he couldn´t reach no matter how much he tried because she wouldn´t let him in. Still I couldn´t stop myself for smacking him in the head of his remark.

"I agree with Emmett, come on Rose!" Alice said with a chirpy voice trying to convince Rose and putting some pressure on her. We could all see how Rosalie´s eyes were flashing between our faces, trying to find anyone to find some support in. We were all so focused on her that we hadn´t given a thought to that Bella could hear us or that she might be listing. So when we suddenly heard her voice we all were a little startled.

"I know how it is standing at the edge Rosalie; dreading to take that final step. But you must understand that you cannot live with the pain for all of your life. It will consume you and finally destroy you. In the end there will be nothing left but a shell of who you once were. I have seen it happen, I have been there. It is time to move forward." Without vampire hearing we never would have heard her and her lips were barley moving as she spoke. I looked around the cafeteria and saw that no one had noticed that Bella had said anything, but many of them were looking at us trying to figure out why we were standing in the middle of the cafeteria not sitting down.

She knows. She has to know and understand. There is no other explanation. How could she otherwise know how I feel? How could she know understand and how could she say she has been there? Rosalie´s thoughts were a mess and she hadn´t even realized herself that she was moving towards Bella´s table, leaving us behind watching her. She walked as in a haze towards Bella who was now playing with her apple once again, looking as if she had been doing it all along. When Rose reached the table she drew out a chair and sat down, still trying to get Bella´s attention. Bella on the other hand just seemed to ignore her.

The rest of my siblings looked at each other before we all made our way over to our sister and Bella. We noticed how the cafeteria had become complete quiet. Everyone staring in pure shock as we, the Cullens, for the first time ever choose to sit down at a table which was already occupied. That had never happened before and no one had ever dared to come and sit with us after Rose had given the death glare to the first person who tried. When we reached Bella´s table I noticed that I would have to take the seat closest to her left. The closer I came to the table the stronger some kind of energy between Bella and me seemed to grow stronger and stronger as well.

When I finally sat down her sent washed over me, but somehow it didn´t bother me as much as it had done before. The electricity became so much stronger that it felt as if a magnet was trying to draw me into touching the wonderful creature sitting next to me.

"What did you mean by that?" My sister asked Bella who finally looked up at Rosalie. For a long time the two of them just starred at each other as Bella´s white eyes seemed to burn into Rose´s soul. In the end though Rose got very uneasy looking into the white orbs and started to turn a little in her seat as Emmett placed his arm around her trying to ease her discomfort. He felt very protective of her and was about to ask Bella to "spit it out" when she began talking looking down at the blood red apple once again.

"I have been where you are and met others who have been there as well." She just said as she began rolling the apple in her hands again.

"And where am I?" Rose asked, her tone mocking trying to hide her anxiety.

"You´re at a crossroad and have been there for a long time. You don´t know if you are going to go right or left, because you can´t see were either of those two roads will lead you. So instead of choosing one of them you allow yourself to get lost in the past, even though it is a past which causes you pain and suffering each day. Still you except that because you are afraid of the future and change, you believe it is better to dwell in your pain than to heal and having to go through it once again." None of knew what to say and at the same time it didn´t feel as we were supposed to say anything. This was a conversation between my sister and Bella. We were just listening.

"That is how I feel, but how could you know?" Rose was amazed over the fact that Bella had been able to figure out how she had been feeling for so many years in such a short time. At the same time it scared her to death. She still couldn´t let go of the fact that Bella had said she had been there. Was there a possibility that she had been forced to go through what Rosalie herself had gone through? The thought made the monster inside of me to rise to the surface and demand the blood of those devils if that was true.

"I have met many people in my life who have acted similar to you and they all shared the same horrible experiences. And all of them were afraid of what would come." Bella said answering my sister question with a thoughtful expression.

"What do you mean that they acted similar to my Rose?" Emmett asked, not being able to contain himself. For the first time he felt hope that Bella would have the knowledge to help his wife. With sigh Bella then began telling a story in the strangest of ways. Her voice was full of sorrow and she talked as if she had been watching the destinies of three different humans. The most horrifying was that we all could see parts of Rosalie in the two first stories, the ones that we understood had ended with suicide.

I could both hear and see how slowly Rosalie began to understand what she was doing to herself and where it was a huge possibility that she would end. It frightened her to no end and even though she couldn´t be blind to the evidence, her brain still tried to find new ways of telling her that she wasn´t like the two girls who had committed suicide.

When Bella was done all I could do was staring at her. How did she know what kind of person Rose was after meeting her only three times and spoken to her once? It seemed impossible and still here she was, knowing what my sister was going through and what she felt better than anyone else.

"You really do know what I have been through?" Rosalie was the first one to speak, her voice very low.

"I know." Bella simply said.

"Who am I?" Rose asked afraid of the answer.

"A mix of the first and the second, but you don´t have to be either of them. Dare to be the third, dare to take a step forward."

"I don´t know how." Rose was sobbing by now and we all felt for her. Never had we seen her this week and woundable. For the first time she understood what we all had seen for so long and she had no idea how to go on or to make a difference. She had been lost for so long.

"Trust that I won´t hurt you or your family." Bella told her looking at her again. She was radiating calm and warmth to all of us.

Trust her? How can I trust anyone again? But she knew all of this without asking me and she doesn't use it against me. She wants to help me even though it is obvious this hurts her as well. I wonder what she has been through to make her understand this. And if what she says is true then one day I will have to leave Emmett and I can´t do that. I have to trust her. Rose thought before she slowly reached over the table to take Bella´s hand.

"I think I can trust you, but please don´t make me regret that trust." She said not sure if her decision had been the right one to make. Bella gave her a small smile and her hand a small squeeze before she let go of my sister's hand. Rose drew her hand back trying to read Bella´s facial expression.

"You are the girl in the stories aren't you?" Alice asked serious and wanting to find out if her theory was true.

"I am sorry." He said not really knowing what he was apologizing for. He just felt as if he had the need to do it.

"Don´t be. It was not your fault was it? Now what made you want to sit with the new girl today? Are you curios about the weather in Phoenix during the weekends?" Bella then said changing the subject. Her statement was very weird. Why would we ask her that?

"Why would anyone ask you about the weather on the weekends in Phoenix?" I said speaking my thoughts out loud. To my big surprise Bella´s heart speed up a little when I spoke and Alice gave me a sly smile while Emmett started humming in his head.

Her reply of Jessica´s dumbness and her smelling of alcohol caught us all little of guard before Emmett started laughing. That was the kind of humor he liked, making fun of other to my big pain since I was his favorite victim.

"To bad it is true." Alice said and that only caused Emmett to laugh even louder. Everyone was once again staring at my family and Bella but we all ignored it. Not that I would have cared anyway, I was sitting next to the most lovely girl in the world and it seems that she might like me as well. Why else would she react on my presence and not to anyone else? Emmett stopped laughing when we heard how Mrs. Cope's voice started to flow out of the old speakers.

"All students who have biology today with Mr. Banner is allowed to go home after lunch. Mr. Banner is sick and no substitute teacher is available. End of massage." Every student who had Mr. Banner after lunch cheered loudly and I heard how Mike and Tyler started to plan their day while Jessica tried to get Mike to ask her out as they started walking out of the cafeteria.

"Bella do you have someone to pick you up and drive you home?" Alice suddenly asked.

"Umm… no but I can always wait here till Charlie comes off from work."

She didn´t have anyone to drive her? Apparently not since she said she would wait for chief Swan. But he could be working for hours and Bella couldn´t just wait here at the school. That wouldn´t be fair to her.

"I can drive you if you want. My siblings took Rosalie´s car to school today anyway so they can always get home without me driving them." I heard myself saying not even noticing I was asking her to get a ride with me before the words left my mouth. I threw a quick glance at my siblings and saw that they were all looking in different directions trying to hide the smiles in their faces.

"That would be very kind of you Edward. But I will only accept it if it doesn't cause you any trouble." My angel said looking a little embarrassed and… happy? Did she really want to spend time with me? Well she didn´t turn you down did she? My better sense told me as I was trying to control the rush of feelings that came over me.

"No problem at all." I promised her, but I didn´t manage to keep the happiness out of my voice. Something both Emmett and Jasper started to tease me for directly in their thoughts. Still not even my younger brothers making fun of me could break my mood and it was surprisingly easy to shut them out. This was my chance to get to know Bella and I didn't want to miss a second of it.

So next chapter Bella and Edward will be alone, finally ;) The reason because this chapter grew so long was because now I had the chance of giving you a small part of Bella´s past and because I wanted Rosalie to accept Bella, more or less. It also gave the Cullens a small insight in Bella´s thoughts and they all get a bigger picture of her.

Love Lysistarte