Chapter 9

Hi, Amy. It's Amy. We haven't spoken for a while.

"It's not like that," I say, cracking my eyes open and grinning like an idiot. I can't help but feel happy he wants to know, even though I feel more guilty about the whole make-out-with-random-guy thing.

"Not like what?"

"We're not dating or anything."

He scrunches up his nose and his green eyes narrow. Whoops, maybe not the best thing to say.

"You always kiss guys you aren't dating?"

Yeah, it was not the best thing to say. I can hear the double meaning behind the question and my insides turn to squash. "It was just… a mistake. That's all. I've had a bad week."

That's the understatement of the year.

"Want to talk about it?"

Yes. I want to be back in his living room with the Xbox controller, spilling my guts about how fake and stupid I am, how Scourge assaulted me, and how every night I hide myself and read comic books. But nothing escapes my lips. It's too much, and I'm not allowed to dump it on him. Since he's not my friend and all.

"I'm sorry I asked," he says, moving in his seat. "I just—"

"Worry?" A smile plasters on my lips, but I don't look at him.

"Yeah."

"Why?" I keep my eyes locked on a speck on the window.

"Why what?"

"Why do you worry about me?"

I hate it when he pauses. Every breath I take during the silence I get more and more self-conscious and question why I say the stupid things I say.

"I dunno. I guess I-I just want you to just smile, Ames."

It doesn't answer my question, but I don't care. I can't help the smile that stays on my face as I finally glance at him.

"Nice."

He furrows his brow at my amused tone. "What?"

I poke his shoulder. "2006 Game"

He raises his eyes to the ceiling and smirks. "Yeah. I think you're right. I didn't mean to steal the line, though. I meant it."

I laugh and he smiles with me.

"I still can't believe you remember all of it."

"I don't have amnesia. And it hasn't been that long."

He nods. "Feels like it has though."

There he goes, sucking the fun out of the conversation again. I try to bring it back. "How was the documentary?"

"You really want to know? You did dive out my window to avoid it."

Darn. Why do I fall so easily into Freak Amy around him?

"No. Just trying small talk," I lie.

He takes a deep breath, and starts picking at a hole in his sweater. "I'd much rather hear about you."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that thing I walked in on? Did it contribute to your bad week?"

Yes, but I'm so not talking about it. "No."

Yikes! I didn't mean to sound so rude. Like, we were totally having a good time and I snap at him.

He leans back, his eyes a bit wide. "S-sorry. It's none of my business."

What the heck? It's totally his business! I mean, he stopped Scourge from… going further. I barked down his throat afterward. And he doesn't look down on me because of it. He worries about me.

Why does he worry about me? It doesn't make any sense! I ditched him. Kicked him right out of my life and kept him far from me so I wouldn't have to endure High School Emotional Hell.

And it's worked, for the most part.

Then Scourge attacked me, and I've tried all my power to forget about it.

But I haven't forgotten.

At all.

And I haven't talked to anyone either.

Tears prick the edges of my eyes, and I blink them back. No, no, no. I'm not going to cry, darn it. I will get through this without crying. That will make it seem like I've made a mistake by being Popular Amy. Which I haven't.

Right?

Taking a large gulp to rid my mouth of the building saliva, I huff out a barely audible response. "What you saw with Scourge… it's not usually like that."

His neck turns toward me so fast I think his head may spin off. "What do you mean?" His tone is soft, soothing, full of concern. You know, all those emotions I don't deserve.

"If you hadn't come over, he would have… I'm pretty sure he was gonna…" Something in my voice box shuts down and I can't continue speaking.

He leans forward, face inches away from mine. If he wants me to talk, this won't help. I can barely concentrate with him so close.

"Why did you lie to me?"

I shrug.

"Amy." He puts his hands on mine. His skin feels so good and my inhibitions about everything, all of it, disappear. I want to talk to him. One-hundred percent as myself.

A shaky breath escapes my lips before I answer. "I was scared." Oh gosh. Here comes the flood. I turn my face from him so he doesn't see it beginning. How can I explain what's going through my mind? How can I tell him without crying? How…? Just… how?

"And I-I deserved it."

His mouth drops open. "What did you say?"

"I said I was scared." I know what he means, but I don't want to repeat myself.

He leans back, letting go of my hands and kneading his forehead. "Tell me why you think you deserve to be sexually harassed."

Honesty, Amy.

"Because I'm a slut." Because I let people believe I'm a slut. Scourge probably thought I'd lead him straight to my pants, and when I didn't—

"No you're not." His face flushes, like he shot off a comment without thinking. I raise my eyebrows. "I mean… I don't think…"

My heart flutters as he tries to find the words. I let him off the hook because really, he's giving me a lot more than he knows. And I'm being stupid anyway.

"Thank you."

"For?"

I blink like crazy, trying to keep those cursed tears back, but I'm not successful. I'm crying, darn it. And I can't stop. "For thinking more of me than I'm worth."

Sonic wipes my cheeks, which isn't helping because I don't freaking deserve his concern right now. So I cry harder.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," he says, shaking as he goes to tuck a strand of my quills behind my ear, but can't seem to get it right. I chuckle and he moves his hand to wipe the tears from my face again. I'm glad the shifter is between us. I think I'm about to lose it and crawl into his arms. I can't do that without wanting more from him.

He drops his hand. "No matter what you think, you don't deserve it."

I open my mouth to argue but he cuts me off. "You. Don't. Deserve. It."

I nod, even though he's only half right. I don't deserve to be attacked, but Popular Amy signed up for this reputation. That's the price I pay for feeling accepted.

My tears turn to sniffles and Sonic leans back. My body aches without him holding onto me and my bottom lip almost juts out.

Come back please. Just hold me a little longer.

The silence stretches between us, but it's not awkward. I feel relieved, like I'm finally being myself for the first time in a long time. A breath of fresh air, a weight off my shoulders, and all those other good-feeling clichés.

He gulps and wipes his palms on his jeans. "You ready to get going?"

I sigh and look at the time. It's getting close to dinner, and I know Sonic needs to get home, but I really don't want him to.

"I guess."

He chuckles. "Unless you want to grab something to eat?"

I want to. I really do. I want to sit with him and talk. Catch up, find out more about his life now, and talk Secret Rings, Black Night, Night of the Werehog, and everything else under the geeky sun. Maybe come up with a few kick-ass quantum theories.

But I can't risk being seen with him. What would mobians think? I wish I could openly date him, or at least try, because I have no idea how deep his feelings go for me, especially after all the crap I've pulled. But I'm too terrified of high school becoming middle school all over again. Besides, Sonic deserves someone way better than me. I can only imagine the swirling gossip, and especially since the conversation I had with Shade today, the repercussions of going out with him would chop the head off of my social status. That shouldn't be what I'm concerned about when I'm with him. But just thinking about it all makes my heart kick-start into a fury and my breathing become freaky erratic.

Calm down, Amy.

"No. You told your mom you'd be home for dinner. You don't want to piss her off."

"Then come over and eat." He smirks at me and I roll my eyes. Another escape from the bathroom is not what I had in mind for tonight.

"Thanks, but I really should go home."

"Okay. But you're missing out on some good food."

I'm sure I am. Mrs. Hedgehogs' cooking is amazing from what I remember. But this whole thing has gone on long enough. Time to get back to the real world.

I turn the key, and smack my hand on the shifter. Sonic buckles back up and sits there watching my arm as I try to shift.

"Um, hello?" I say giving up and waving my hand in front of him. "I still need your help."

He laughs and laces his fingers with mine over the gearbox. "Just remember, I can't hold your hand every time."

But he gives me a little squeeze, letting me know he won't mind if I ask him again.

x.X.x

So what do you all think so far...?

Opinions? Suggestions?