Chapter 14

Someone needs to explain to him what a booty call is.

"Will Mina's parents be home?" Dad closes the fridge and pops open a can of Diet Coke before looking at me. I give him the "impatient daughter" roll of the eyes.

"Yes, Dad. It's just a sleepover. Girl stuff."

He takes a sip before answering. "Girl stuff." He pauses, taking another drink. "No boys then?"

Duh. "No boys, Dad. It's going to be Mina and me. Maybe Shade." That's a flat-ass lie.

I haven't seen Sonic since our fight, and I yell at myself every time I realize I'm thinking about it. It's not like I can make anything better or that I want to. I'm done with that craptastic attempt at getting his attention.

Nack's party tonight is exactly what I need to forget this whole frakking mess.

"I don't know…" Dad leans against the counter and it creaks under his weight. "Who's going to watch your sister?"

"I don't need a babysitter," Rosy pipes from the table, her fingers curled in front of her face so she can blow her nails dry. "Mom'll be home at like ten, right?" She flicks her gaze to me then back to Dad. "So I'll only be alone for an hour or so."

Dad grunts and rubs the stubble on his chin. "And you'll behave? Both of you?"

"Yes," we say together.

His eyes go back and forth between us before he lets out a puff of air. "Okay. But Amy, you bring your phone and answer it if your sister calls. And Rosy, no friends, and no leaving this house."

We both nod and Dad chugs the rest of his soda. "All right, I'll see you girls tomorrow."

Late shift. Again.

Always really. It bugs me how much he and Mom work, but not tonight. Tonight I need them gone.

The second he leaves I run upstairs to change. I pull out the purple number I was going to wear at the last party and strip down to my undies. The window isn't even open because I'm done with that. I can't do it anymore. I need to forget about those amazing—yes, amazing—few days I had with him. Because it's not… it can't be what I really want. I've worked so hard to be this person. The girl who goes to parties and gets the boys and who everyone wants to be.

And Sonic doesn't want anything to do with that person. Guess I have to live with that.

Plopping onto my bed, I dig my phone from my jeans. There are a few texts and for a second my brain gets really stupid hoping they're from Sonic. My stomach does a twist turny thing when I open the messages, then drops when I see they are all from Shadow.

I guess I can't blame him for trying to get a hold of me. I never gave him my number—I'm sure one of my friends did—but I did give him some tongue. He's probably waiting for his booty call.

He won't have to wait much longer.

If I'm going to stay popular, and forget Sonic, I better do it right this time. Not halfway.

I'll c u the party 2nite.

I hit send and toss my phone behind me. There's something stinging behind my eyes, but I shake my head and focus on getting dressed.

Yeah, a party and a new boy will cure whatever is wrong with me.

"You're not going to Mina's, are you?"

Rosy leans against my doorframe, not looking at me, but at her feet.

"You going to rat me out?"

"No." She steps in my room and settles on the center of my bed. "I'm a good sister."

I roll my eyes and go back to putting on my eyeliner. "You were in the effing hospital. I had to tell Mom."

"I-I know."

My head whips around, and I swipe a big black mark across my cheek. Rosy's not looking at me, she's picking at a loose thread in my comforter. I don't even know how to respond. She's never agreed with me on anything.

She twirls her finger around the thread and yanks it out of my bedspread. "So, you're going to a party?"

I shake my head and grab a wipe to get the eyeliner off my cheek. "I'm not taking you."

"I wasn't asking to go." Her eyes narrow. "I was just curious."

Yeah right. Like I'm going to believe that one. Unless…

"Is someone coming over?"

"What?"

"Is that why you're okay with me leaving? And why you won't tell Mom and Dad? You've got someone coming over, don't you?"

She huffs a huge breath out her nostrils and crawls off my bed. "You know, I'm not as bad as you think I am. I was actually going to bed." Her hair bounces a little as she storms across my room. "Have fun at your party."

And she's gone.

What the heck? That was so not normal Rosy behavior. I think house arrest has done something funky to her brain.

Either that or she's gotten better at lying.

It doesn't matter. I can't worry about what's going through my sister's head when I'm so messed up myself. Split personalities and all.

Time to convince the world, and myself, that I'm happy with the choice I made to redefine myself.

Because I am happy with it.

I. Am.

See? There's the smile in the mirror. Now, adjust the boobs… and I'm set.

I don't even look at my bookshelf or my window as I walk out.

x.X.x

"This is the part where you tell me the name of that guy you were gushing about the other day."

Mina gives me a huge grin and runs a stop sign in the process.

Ugh. I wish I could go back to two days ago when that's all I wanted to do—gush. But I have to get Sonic out of my brain. Shove him so far away I won't remember why the heck I liked him in the first place.

It's not going to work if my friends keep bringing him up.

"No. He doesn't want anything to do with me, so I'm moving on."

"What?!" she squeals, making a jerky stop at a light. "Is he crazy? You're Amy rose!"

I laugh. "I know, right! He doesn't know what he's missing." I'm totally using a joking tone, but I'm half serious. I'm the popular one. Shouldn't I be rejecting him?

That's usually how the world goes 'round. But both Sonic and I know who the better person is between the two of us.

Oh gosh. Forget about it, Amy.

"Well, I know about twenty guys who are ready to pounce now that you're single. Want to know a few from the list?"

Shaking my head, I force a giggle and flip my hair over my shoulder. "Nah. I just want to have fun tonight."

"That's what I mean." She winks, pulling up against the curb outside Nack's massive house. "A boy to help you have fun."

"I got it." 'Cause I do. Shadow is target boy number one. After all, he's hecka hot, not a bad kisser—from what I remember of that kiss—he's the perfect person to help me get over the freak next door.

The music pumps through my body before we even get inside. Nack always has a DJ at his parties because he can afford that type of stuff. This is also why I'm never a party host. People would totally realize I'm a fake with the money stuff. That and it's too much work. Nack can also hire someone to clean up after. Trust funds. Must be nice.

"Hey, bitches!" Shade calls from the table she's dancing on. "It's about time you showed up!"

She hops down and plants a sloppy kiss on my lips then does the same to Mina.

"Holy hell. Someone's had a few shots." Mina laughs as Shade loops her arm through both of ours.

"Come on. Let's dance!"

I wiggle her off. "I'm gonna go find someone," I shout over the music. "I'll catch up with you later."

Mina's mouth pops open, but I don't hear what she says before she's dragged away.

Now to find drummer boy. There's no way I'm going to look in this crowd. I'd be stopped by a million people before I found him. That and Scourge is trying to catch my eye. Bleck. He needs to stay the hell away from me tonight or he's going to be punched in his diseased junk. Stupid jackass attacking me then spreading rumors.

Just chalk it up to more things I need to forget.

Someone walks by with a shot and without even thinking, I snag it and toss it back. Whew. That'll help the nerves.

Pulling out my phone, I cross over to a less crowded hallway. After a few hugs and "heys" I send Shadow a text.

Where r u?

It's a few minutes before my phone vibrates in my hand, and I have to shake off a guy who appeared out of nowhere to offer me a beer. One shot is usually my limit at these things.

Right here.

Huh? I look up and down the hallway, but I can't see the darn boy anywhere. Taking a step into the next room, a hand wraps around my wrist and whirls me around.

"Hey." Shadow smirks as I whack him in the chest. Then I see his eyes rake me over and as he takes in my skin-tight dress his face flushes. I pucker my lips as I speak, attaching the strings on Popular Amy's next victim.

"Hey." Taking his hand, I pull him upstairs. "Let's go somewhere we can talk."

There's not any conversation on the way to the bedrooms, but he's not fighting me. Why would he? Here's the booty call he's been waiting for.

And this will totally make me forget about…

Oh gosh, I can't think about it now. That's why I'm here. To forget.

We get to an empty room—only took two tries to find one without a we're-doing-it rubber band on the knob—and I open the door for him.

He walks past me and stands awkwardly in the middle of the room while I shut the door behind him. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Pulling him by the arm, I drag him to the bed, shoving him down so I can leap on top of him. He's sitting upright against the headboard as I straddle him. I only see his surprised face for a split second before curling my tongue around his to make my intention clear that I don't want to talk.

I. Want. To. Forget.

He wraps his massive hands around my waist, but instead of pulling me closer, he pushes me back.

"Whoa, Rose," he says catching his breath. "Hang on a minute."

I ignore him and trace my lips along his jawline and watch him squirm underneath me. Moving my hands to the button on his pants, I try to pretend I know what I'm doing, that I've done it millions of times.

My hands shake, and Freak Amy is screaming at me to stop, but I can't. I have to get Sonic out of my head. I have to stop fighting between two different versions of myself. I have to take control over this whole thing I've made a mess of.

When I get his zipper down, I take a deep breath and close my eyes before pressing against him through his boxers. My stomach leaps off a cliff. Holy crap. I'm touching a guy's penis. How did I get to this? Do I move my hand around? Or leave it here? Do I keep going downward?

Oh, I'm totally in over my head with this stuff.

"Um, Rose?" Shadow's voice cracks, which makes me feel like maybe I'm doing something right even though I'm just pressing against him.

"Yes?"

"Is everything okay?"

That's a bizarre question, given the position we're in. Crap, I knew I wasn't doing this right. I whip my hand out from his pants and go back to what I know how to do. Making out is just fine anyway. This whole thing is starting to remind me of what Scourge did to me and it's making me a bit sick.

"Yeah. I just want you." I flutter my eyes and lean in to suck on his neck. His pulse jumps in my mouth, but he pushes me, gently, so he can look at my face.

"You… you don't seem okay."

I'm totally shaking as I look at him. His eyes are the sexy crimson color girls get lost in, and his black quills scream rock star. And he's staring back at me with concern, honest sincerity. Something I don't want or deserve.

And I feel nothing.

No attraction, no physical pull, no emotional one either. I want to stop thinking. Get lost in someone else so I can erase Sonic from my memory. But as I take in his perfection, I wish those crimson eyes were green, his black quills was styled downward, and dyed cobalt blue.

Damn it.

The heat shoots up my neck. I'm not sure if I'm more embarrassed or angry, and my beast of an attitude screeches through my tone.

"You a virgin or something? Seriously, I'm on top of you. You're not going to take advantage?" Because anyone else would.

"No, Rose. I'm a virgin, yeah, but that's not why I'm stopping this."

I crawl off him, taking a spot on the floor instead.

"Then why?"

He sits next to me, stroking my quills from my face. It's the sweetest thing ever, but I still don't feel anything. It's not like how I feel when I'm with Sonic.

"I'm not one of those guys. I've been trying to get a hold of you these past few days so I could talk to you about what happened."

"It didn't mean anything. That kiss at school. You may not be one of those guys, but I'm one of those girls. You should know that already."

"I don't believe that." His hand moves from my quills to my cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb. "I want to be your friend. If you need someone to talk to."

My eyes narrow, and I crane my neck so I can see his face. He's joking right? No guy ever wants to be just my friend.

"Why?"

He mashes his lips together, shifting his position so he's closer to me.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you seem so…" He pauses. Not like the pause people do when they try to search for the right way to say something, but the hesitation before people drop a word they don't want to say, but feel like they have to.

"Lost."

I shift away from him, worry lines spreading through my face. He's onto me. Better set him straight. "I'm not lost."

He raises an eyebrow, and my pulse skyrockets. That's Sonic's thing. Seems everything about this kid reminds me of him. I'm supposed to be forgetting the damn boy! Ugh.

"I'm not," I say again.

"If you weren't lost, you wouldn't have attacked me, twice. You don't even know me."

"That's the point," I say, throwing my head back against the mattress.

"Well, I don't want to be some random guy in your life. The rebound. The one-night stand. The guy you use to forget all your problems."

My eyelids snap shut. I won't cry. Not in front of him. "How old are you again?"

He chuckles as he pulls my chin down to look at him. "I'm nineteen, but not naïve. I know what people say about you, but that's not what I like about you."

What people say about me? My popular rep I hope. That I club and hang out with Mina and Shade and I'm someone who can really kiss. That stuff's okay to fly around behind my back. But besides that, I can't imagine anything else but a hot body being the source of anyone's attraction to me. "Then what?"

"Not sure how to put it. Just something in your eyes. Tells me you've got a lot more going on in there." He prods the center of my forehead with his soft fingertips.

"Are you sure you're not older than nineteen?"

Shaking his head and smiling, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and says, "Pretty sure. I guess I'm mature for my age. Had to grow up fast, you know? Dad ran off when I was a kid, left my mom, sister and I to fend for ourselves."

There he goes again, reminding me of Sonic. It seems like the perfect situation. An acceptable, datable guy who has the qualities of the guy I really want.

But he's not the guy I really want.

"I'm sorry."

He shrugs. "Happened a long time ago."

"Still."

"Yeah."

We sit in a tense silence, his eyes flicking over my face, my body, a smile lingering on the corners of his mouth. And every second he's here makes me ache for someone else.

What was I thinking? Acting like the person people think I am, just because I want to get back at someone for being mad at me. Someone who totally has every right to be pissed.

And I feel dirty. And wrong. This isn't who I am, but who I feel like I have to be.

I have to get out of here. Will there be anyone who will help me get over the boy next door?

No. There won't be. Even when I'm Popular Amy, Sonic is all I can think about. Him, and who I am with him.

The room is getting really hot. And stuffy. I get off the floor, tripping a little on my heels. Shadow reaches out to help me, and I push him back.

"Don't," I snap.

"Rose—"

"Please, Shadow. Just… just leave me alone."

There's a beer with my name on it.

x.X.x

You guys are going to love this next chapter!