Preoccupied without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl – Puddle of Mudd

Sookie POV

"Allow me to introduce myself," the vampire standing in front of me says. I don't even have to wait for him to say his name before I know it. In fact, I say it with him as he says, "I'm Appius Livius Ocella," with a smile on his face that makes me a bit nervous. Okay, it makes me a lot nervous. I know what he has done in the past, have heard stories about what he is capable of. That alone frightens me. But the smile that is currently on his face, it is just pure evil. It grows even bigger as he realizes that I already know his name, I already know who he is.

"So Eric has told you about me," he states, the smile on his face also present in his voice. "All the truth I hope."

"With how cruel the things were he did tell me about, I doubt any of them could have been made up."

He laughs at that, which is doing nothing to settle my nerves. I focus on the bond I have with Eric, with my connection I have to him now and I feel his anger. I feel his sadness and though it breaks my heart, it also gives me strength. This cruel vampire in the room with me is most likely expecting me to be weak during whatever is he has planned. If I am planning on overcoming this, which I certainly do preferably with the vampire in front of me ending up as a pile of goo, I need to be strong.

Though probably not too strong. It will be a fine line, that's for sure.

"You must be an important little bird for Eric to tell you about me," he says as he starts to walk around me appraisingly. I do my best to keep my breathing slow and even as he moves out of my vision line. I refuse to spin around to follow him though having my back turned to a vampire is definitely not a good idea. I have to go with the thought that if Appius really wants me dead, I would be by now. I don't think that is how Appius works though. Something tells me, okay my previous conversations with Eric do, that Appius is going to keep me around for a bit. He'll toy with me as a way to get to Eric, as a way to torture him. That seems to be the game that Appius like to play.

Here's to hoping that this game is a short one and Appius will be the loser.

"He's in misery now, you know?" he asks as he steps from behind me and enters my vision again. He takes a step towards me and it takes everything in my power to not take a step back from him when he does so. He just looks at me, waiting for me to answer and I have seen Eric do the same thing when he is trying to gather information. Thinking Eric has learned anything from the monster in front of me curdles my stomach and I feel for him once again. He was able to withstand centuries of being abused by the monstrous vampire standing in front of me. I can surely take minutes.

Hopefully, it will not be much longer than that.

I think over my answer as he just stares at me. It's eerie, but I refuse to look away somehow unconsciously knowing that nothing good will come of it if I do. I could play dumb and pretend to not know what he is talking about. I could pretend that I don't know that question is a roundabout way of asking if I could feel Eric. With his vampire senses I know he can sense Eric strongly on me, but I can always pretend to not know that what I am feeling is Eric.

In the end, I opt for telling him the truth. Hopefully, it is not a bad decision. "I don't know if misery is a word big enough to explain what it is he is feeling right now," I tell him, acknowledging the fact that I can feel Eric and have at least that understanding over the bond.

He laughs again and says, "You may be correct with that one." He pauses before looking at me. Giving me a small nod he continues to say, "It certainly is different than what he has been feeling during the last few months."

Those words make me see everything a bit more clearly, or at least I think they do. Eric had been happy these last few months, getting progressively happy as he let himself feel again for the first time in who knows how long. Dear old maker, and I use that term very sarcastically, over here would not have liked that one bit. I may not know why yet but it is clear that Appius wanted to keep Eric feeling pain. He used Karin when the joy of making his first child was more than Appius could stand. He never allowed himself to be completely happy with Pam, always worried what would happen to her should Appius appear back in their lives.

For some reason with me, he was able to open himself up. He was able to feel, to be happy, to love and be loved. My only hope is no matter what the outcome of this he remembers that; he doesn't close down again.

"You can't stand that he's been happy. That he has finally realized how wrong you were all those centuries."

The smile slips off of his face and he loses his composure for the first time as he yells back at me, "I taught how to be strong. I showed him what would make him weak." His voice was loud and he's even breathing hard, something a vampire wouldn't need to do. I just may have found the crack in his armor without even really trying to, or at least trying hard to. I will just have to figure out how to utilize it.

"The fact that he has forgotten his lessons shows that a refresher course is needed."

"I wouldn't say that he has forgotten anything you've done to him. I would say that he finally realized what a load of bull it actually was," I say and worry immediately fills me. I'm so unsure of how this vampire will react to anything I say.

But Appius doesn't do anything but look at me for what feels like hours. He finally says, "Why don't we take a walk, Ms. Stackhouse," while holding his arm out.

"Northman," I say correcting him. We may not have actually changed my name officially yet but I plan on it. May as well get used to it. Though with the look that Appius is giving me now, I may have to work on keeping my mouth shut.

I don't move at Appius' invitation for a walk. I don't want to leave this room and whatever safety it offers. I have no idea what is outside of it nor do I know who else may be outside of it. I know that I should go with Appius if for no other reason than to try and figure out more information about where I am. That's my thought that finally propels me to move forward. Apparently I don't do it fast enough for Appius though, who grabs my wrist and pulls me toward the door.

I feel the pain before I hear the crack. Burning pain shoots up my arm ending with a bone cracking. I cry out in pain and in fear of what a broken, useless arm will mean for me. It could make it much harder for me to escape.

I try to loosen my arm from his grasp but only manage to pull with the strength of my body not able to turn my arm at all. Appius turns back to me, still gripping my now broken arm with a blank look on his face. He had to have known what his grip could do to my arm. I cannot help but feel that this was a test.

And with the smile that is slowly appearing on his face, I can't help but think it was one that I failed.

"Fine," he tells me, giving my arm a squeeze before finally releasing it. I try to keep my painful cry in, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of crying out again but I do not succeed. When my arm is finally free I bring it close to my body, hoping to cradle it. That offers me no comfort, a shock of pain running up my arm when it makes contact with my body. "Have it your way," he adds starting to walk out of the room. I am happy to see him go, at least until he has some parting words for me.

"I was planning on making a call to Eric and had thought you may like to speak with him. Maybe tomorrow night," he says before closing the door and shutting me in the room alone once again. It's then when I realize that Appius might have more goals in this little plan than to simply torture Eric. He's testing me for some reason and I doubt I ever want to find out what that reason is.

I refuse to call out after him, though in my head I am dropping to my knees and begging him to let me talk to Eric, even just to hear his voice. But I will not give him the satisfaction of hearing me beg. Not yet. As much as I want to talk to Eric, I doubt having me beg would change Appius' mind.

I slowly back up until my back hits a wall. As I start to slide down it I press my head to my knees. I can't stop the tears that start to roll down my face. The last thing I want to do is let them, is let him see my tears but try as I might, I just can't stop them.

EPOV

I was surprised by what I first felt when I realized that Sookie was kidnapped. I woke from my rest, anxious that she was not next to me but not concerned, not at first. No, concern came when I felt around the bond for her and I realized she was not near me, much farther away than she should be. I was quickly out of my bed and followed her scent to where it was the strongest – out on the deck.

It was when I saw her blood on the deck, the reason her scent was the strongest there, that was the feeling that surprised me. It was unexpected because it was nothing I felt. I did not feel anger. I did not feel rage or sadness. I felt nothing, felt numb. All of the scenarios that could have resulted in Sookie being taken from me started dancing through my head. They are most certainly not performing a happy dance in my head.

I shake my head making every effort I can to get the images out of it, to not let my imagination run wild. Our thoughts tend to be worse than what actually happens, something that I hope is truthful in this situation as well. It is a tactic used in torture often, the fear of the unknown especially in situations like this.

I hate the thought that Sookie has been taken as a way to get to me but as Alcide mentioned, there is no proof the kidnappers even tried to come into the house; that is a truth that I will have to deal with. This was my one regret with Sookie, the only regret I had when I agreed to start a relationship with her; that chance that she would be hurt and used as a way to get to, to hurt me. I will not lose her again and that is something that when we get her back, I will have to ensure.

I had thought I had already covered it. That is a fact that I find very worrisome.

I have worked hard to establish a reputation where others in my world would think twice, maybe even more than that, before coming after me especially before using anyone I consider under my protection to do so. There are very few who would challenge that and that is something that I am very concerned about as there is a short list about what these monsters will not do.

I was still numb as I called Ludwig; more numb than before as Alcide stumbled into my sight before collapsing as he tried to explain to me what happened. I was numb as I looked and saw the unconscious form of Tray still lying on the ground. I was so numb in fact that I missed the first time Pam called. I did not even realize I had already missed a call until Alcide told me, from his spot on my pavement.

I pick up the phone and say my child's name knowing it is her calling me. I may feel numb but the sound of my voice as I say her name is anything but. It is not until I start to talk to her that my voice starts to take on the numb feeling that I am feeling with the rest of me. Then I am simply reporting the facts as I know them and I know very little of them at this point.

I am still talking to Pam when I manage to pin point Sookie's location. Judging by distance and direction, she is at the Shreveport airport and I am in my car heading in that direction before I can even tell Pam.

This entire evening so far, I feel like I have been floating through a fog. I am aware, far too aware, of what is going on around me but it is like I am simply watching my life instead of living it. I feel the concern coming from both of my children, their concern for both Sookie and myself. I know I put my arms around Pam as I tell her I cannot feel Sookie anymore. I know we open our arms to Thalia when she arrives. I hear the conversation that I have with Octavia, about if magic could be the reason why I can no longer feel Sookie, why I may have been at the airport with enough time to rescue her but with no idea if she were still here. I hear myself talking and I hear her response but it just does not feel like me.

It is when Octavia says that yes, a spell could be preventing me from feeling Sookie that the fog starts to lift. I stop simply watching the events take place and start to feel that I am in control of myself once again. The hope is welcome but with the emotion I start to feel with Octavia's words also bring other emotions to the surface. Anger is the most prevalent. I am feeling an anger stronger than I ever have before and I have had plenty reasons to feel anger in my life.

I have never been this angry before.

I talk and I hear and give orders but at the same time I feel disconnected again. Part of me is worried about these bouts of numbness but I push that concern aside for the moment. My worry for Sookie needs to be in the forefront at the moment.

A phone call from Felicia has me starting to wake up again as I first think her words mean the plane Sookie was on crashed. She is quick to tell me that does not seem to be the case and lets me know where the plane should be. I grab Pam and simply take to the sky, knowing Pam will make the necessary phone calls from the air.

Pam and I get to the coordinates Felicia gave me on where the plane was, on where it is. Pam runs onto it immediately but I can't help but to simply stare at it. The site is so close to the airport that if I could have still felt Sookie, I could have been here in minutes. I could have prevented whatever kind a vehicle switch they did here. I use clues and try to determine what type of vehicle they could have left in but it is impossible. There are car tracks all over the place and plenty of them are recent. There is the scent of fuel in the air, which could mean another plane or even a helicopter could have left here, or it could simply be from the plane my child is currently exiting from.

"She was on this plane," she says despondently. I could have told her that. I smelled her and the three Weres she was traveling with the second we came into the field. Who knows what happened to the other two that we sensed were involved in the kidnapping. I do not recognize any of the scents and will have to talk with Alcide to see if he does when his head gets a little clearer.

"Is there more blood?" I ask. I plan to make my own search of the plane but I need to know the answer to that question. I need to be prepared for it.

"No," she says as she comes up to me and takes me into her arms. I allow myself to sink into her hug for a few seconds before returning it and offering her my own comfort. I am not the only one hurting in this scenario.

"Thank-you for small favors," I say as our arms drop around us and we make our way back onto the plane together to ensure that nothing is missed. Right before I get through the door I grab onto Pam's hand and she holds on just as tightly, both of us needing the contact.

I go to my rest cursing the sunlight. I have done that more since Sookie has come into my life than I had in all my centuries before she had. I was never a vampire that hated the sun; I simply adapted to not being able to have it in my life. Adapted at least until Sookie came into my life. The sun takes me away from her and that is something that I will never get over, as long as she is human. The sun is preventing me for continuing to look for her. I will lose hours, precious hours while the sun is in the sky.

The plane was seemingly a bust; we did not find anything of use but I made a call and it will be taken to one of my properties to be sure. Octavia has mentioned that there is a spell, some kind of reconstruction that could allow us to see exactly what happened. She will need Amelia for it and a night or two to gather supplies.

I am hoping that by the time she has all the supplies needs we have Sookie back.

I hit the wall, wincing when it easily breaks under my arm. As tempting as it is to just destroy this room, this house to let out some of my anger I can't do that. Anger is something that I have to feel, Sookie taught me that, but she also taught me that I should not let it control me. I think back to the violence I felt coursing through me right after Bill's attack, right after learning about what her uncle did to her.

I had lashed out several times and that is not something that I can afford to do now. Poor decisions can be made and that is not something I can allow to happen.

No one else had been able to find much else tonight, which added to my concern for many reasons. One was obviously Sookie's safety but that concern increased when I realized that the person who took her seems to know what he is doing. It is so much easier when they do not.

Felicia is still looking to see if she can find evidence that another craft took off where the first one landed. I had to place a call to Sophie-Anne to let her know, as de Castro could very well be the culprit here. Her first questions were not about the states or vampire politics; they were about Sookie and they were about me. Knowing that her concern is not just simply for Louisiana is a little comforting.

Any comfort is what I need to hold on to at the moment.

As the sun comes up, I succumb to my rest fighting uselessly against it, while happy that I will at least have no nightmares about the possibility of what could be happening to my wife.

Pam POV

I wake from my rest and immediately reach for my cell phone. I have message upon message of what had happened through the day and I am hoping that one of them holds some miracle but that is something that I do not find. Sookie has not been found during the day and Tray has still not woken up.

I am about to throw my phone against the wall when it rings and seeing it's Eric, I answer instead of doing so. He simply tells me to come to his house before hanging up. My phone has escaped its destruction at the moment. Hopefully, I will have something else, someone else to destroy before the night is over.

The only positive thing in any of the reports that I read is that we believe Sookie is still in the country. That is something that we, with Sophie-Anne's help, have been monitoring closely; if she was taken out of the continental US, we should have been able to detect it.

Octavia is going to attempt to locate Sookie using magic which is something that could be fantastic, but it could also be something that blows up in our face if whoever has Sookie also has a strong witch working for them. Octavia seems to think that is most likely with the power needed to mask the bond between Eric and Sookie. I say masked because I refuse to believe that the bond between them is broken, could be broken by anything.

From what I have seen, there is no breaking what's between them.

I call Amelia on the way over for a verbal update on Tray. She had offered to help Octavia with the location spell, but the older witch said the simple magic would not require her apprentice. I know that Amelia would have helped if needed but I also know that both of us are happy that she gets to stay with Tray. I have to believe he knows that she is there, knows that I was there before my rest and will be there whenever I can.

But getting Sookie back, getting our family back together or at least physically in the same place, that's what's important. Amelia understands that and I just hope Tray can when he woke up.

I get to Eric's quickly. Eric and Karin are looking back and forth between papers and a computer, looking for any information that would help us. Thalia is on the phone and from the sounds of it, along with the tears running down her face, it's Jason on the other end.

Eric's phone rings and discussion in the room stops. Eric quickly picks up and says, "Northman," in answer and I can feel the hope flutter through him that this is the phone call that will end this all. But that hope is dashed almost the second he answers, being replaced with other emotions. The one that is becoming the most pronounced is fear. I look to Karin and I know she feels it too and I can tell that she like me has an idea of what it could mean. Why we hadn't thought about this before I don't know.

I just hope it's not our, not Sookie's downfall.

I move closer to Eric and Karin does the same meeting me at him. I don't recognize the voice on the other side of the line but then again, I have never heard his voice, the one that I now feel is responsible for this.

My worry is confirmed when Eric says softly, "Master."

Hello dear readers. I hope you all had a good week and that you enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to let me know your thoughts. As always thanks for reading and leaving your input. I appreciate you taking the time to do so. For those football fans enjoy the game later. Let's all hope for some good commercials, shall we? I'm just hoping I manage to avoid the bulk of the snow they are predicting again.

For those of you who may want to reread, Amnesia is starting to go up on my WP site, under the same name. After Everything, which I don't like to think about too much lol, I will be posting stories there as well.

Jackie69 – Thanks so much for leaving your thoughts. I hope the wait this week wasn't too long and that this chapter was worth the wait.

To my other guest reviewer, well then sticking around for the ride may be something you enjoy. Just remember to buckle up ;)