Theories often become outdated and replaced- casualties of the great pursuit called science. One person's invaluable ideas, dominant and held as truth for centuries, could be overturned in a day's experimentation. It's a beautiful property that all scientific knowledge holds; it is testable, it is falsifiable, and it is transformative. And the results of such malleability are incredible. Flat planets have become spherical, atomic electrons have transform from static orbitals to clouds of probabilistic distribution, and elementary units of matter have become composites of infinitely small particles.
After the verbal assault Pearl had railed against his dissertation yesterday, Alan felt like his own personal slice of scientific knowledge may be due for a transformation. He sighed and placed it dejectedly on the desk in the main office.
Of course, that is assuming that Pearl is something more than some crazy... liar person or something.
Alan held his head. It was another morning fresh out of the supply closet, and he couldn't think straight with all of Greg's-
"What's she mean I can't just take my son to the beach without telling anyone!"
Greg was flailing his limbs about animatedly, flinging water from the hose he was wielding like an elephant taking a very frantic bath. A hefty amount accumulated on Alan's head until he was staring, blankly, through a wet curtain his hair.
"Mist- no, uh, Greg. Greg? Maybe you shouldn't-"
"I mean, I get it! He has important g- uh, weird stuff to do and he shouldn't be out when they might need him and it's probably pretty hard to protect him when they don't even know where he is and my goodness Pearl's right."
With his last, defeated stanza, Greg disarmed himself of his hose and flopped his arms to his sides. Alan took the opportunity to swoop the hair out of his eyes in a vain attempt to keep his face from getting more wet. In the corner of his eye, he saw something- no, someone approaching. Someone very short, very excited, and with very curly hair.
"Is that someone we should know?" Alan asked. Greg gave him a questioning look, then followed his gaze to-
"Woa-hey, that's my son!"
A bobbing, curly-headed ball of happiness was running towards the car-wash, brandishing a huge grin and what looked like a giant cheeseburger with straps on it. As he got closer, the curly-head took a deep intake of air, held it for a moment, then transformed it into the largest, most joyful salutation Alan had heard in all of Beach City.
"HE~Y DAD!"
"Son!" Greg exclaimed, matching his son's enthusiasm in staccato'd reply. The boy ran straight into Greg and hugged him as hard as his small arms could manage. Greg's entire face cracked into an enormous smile and, laughing uncontrollably, he picked up the boy and swung him back and forth like he was trying to shake him off. Alan could do nothing but stare in disbelief. How could such pure joy exist out here, on the cracked pavement of an old, beat-up car-wash? What place was there for an employee in his boss' heartfelt family moments?
Certainly none. I can't image how awkward it would be if I tried to address him while he's-
"Hey dad, who's that?"
To Alan's abject dismay, the boy was now pointing at him. And he was certainly referring to him.
No, wait! It's going to be awkward and I-
"Oh, yeah! That's the new guy I hired to help me run the 'wash! Hey kid, come on over here and meet the family!"
Oh no, nono. I can meet the family some other time. Any other time. Or maybe never, if we're counting that as a member of the domain consisting of all of the available times to meet 'the family.'
Despite himself, Alan walked stiff-leggedly towards the happy pair sitting on the pavement. Half of whom was directly responsible for his sole source of income.
"Alan, this is my son, Steven. Ah don't look so nervous! C'mon, he's the sweetest thing this side-o' the Atlantic. And Steven, this here's Alan. He's workin' here now."
Alan offered a salutatory smile that he was almost sure didn't look nervous. Though it's not like he had a mirror to check. "It's nice to meet you," he managed.
"Hey! Thanks for helpin' dad out with the ole' washy biz'!" Steven replied. It elicited a choppy, nervous laugh from Alan, who waved his hands in a 'it's-no-problem-he's-actually-helping-me-a-lot-more' sort of way. If simple physical gestures could encode such complex linguistic information.
"So, watcha got for me today Stevie-O?" his dad pressed.
"The gems and I are putting on a play!" Steven reached into his cheeseburger and pulled out several messily stapled stacks of paper. "Pearl's been all crazy about teachin' me lately! Keeps talking about 'earth knowledge' and how I should 'have it' and 'not be left behind by my human peers' and a bunch of other junk like that. But hey! I'm learnin' all I have to learn from..."
Steven took on a stoic air, placing a hand over his heart and looking upwards into the morning sky.
"The single. Greatest. Source. Of wisdom. Out there."
Greg scratched the back of his head. "The internet?"
"No dad it's you!"
"Well, it's nice to get some praise around here every once-in-a-while. But you better pay attention to Pearl anyway. Ya know, just in case."
"Haha, I know. She picked up a buncha books from the library and we found a play in one of them!" Steven shook the papers around excitedly. "I'm gonna be an electron."
Alan's brow furrowed. What sort of textbook has educational plays about subatomic particles?
"Cool deeds, Steven! Mind if yer old man comes to watch?"
"Of course not!" Steven proclaimed loudly. "We're inviting everyone we know! It's this Saturday at sunset. Be there."
Alan's brow furrowed further. Is this a dramatic pause or is he done tal-
"-or be square."
"Well done, son," Greg chuckled, "now we oughta get to work. Who knows how many hundreds of cars could come flyin' through here at any second!"
Noticing the confused look on Alan's face, Greg waved him over and offered an explanation.
"Sometimes I like to let him help out at the 'wash. It's sort of a father-son work-bonding sorta deal. Ya know? Anyway don't sweat it, kid. You've got the day off today! Consider it a bonus for working the joint all yesterday by yourself."
"O-oh! Well, um, thank you, sir-"
"Haha, it's Greg. None of that 'sir' stuff, there aren't any knights around here or anythin'. Go on, enjoy yourself!"
Alan gave him a genial smile. One that he felt was real, even as it spread to the corners of his mouth and tugged them upwards "Thanks, Greg. I'll see you later."
"See ya Al-ee-oop!"
Alan turned at the strange nickname and saw Steven, waving energetically at the person he had met not ten minutes ago and whom he already considered a boon to his family. It was strangely comforting, though the stiff wave Alan gave in return displayed none of that comfort.
There were still many questions about that odd girl, Pearl, that Alan wanted answered. As he walked away, one goal drew prominent in his mind. Where would I find this Pearl?
Alan wandered about, unsure where to begin or where he would end up.
Judging by our previous encounters, the data suggests that Pearl will either be at the car-wash, where I will definitely not be returning, or at the library.
He passed by the donut shop he had seen when he first drove through the town. The same two teens he had seen back then were slouching together at the counter, like two lazy sentinels carved into the same pose. Same elbow-resting-on-the-counter pose, same head-supported-by-a-limp-hand pose, same eyes-barely-open-but-technically-still-awake-because-they're-at-work pose. Driven by some urge to know more than four people in the town, Alan decided to disturb their stasis and buy a donut. Upon hearing the bell jingle above the door, both teens sprung quickly into service oriented alertness with Pavlovian-like reflexes.
"Welcome to the Big Donut," the shorter one piped in greeting, "what can I get for you?"
"One glazed. And... I was hoping you could tell me a bit about someone in town. Do either of you know Pearl?"
"Pearl?" the shorter one said, stuffing a donut into a bag and placing it on the counter. "Oh, that Pearl. Well, we don't really... know her. But we know of her."
"Hey isn't she one of those magic ladies that Steven hangs out with?" the taller one contributed with an exaggerated hand wiggle at the term 'magic ladies.' "What are they like his aunts or somethin'?"
His aunts?
Alan thought back to his first drive around Beach City. He was sure now that it was Steven he saw back then on the pier, but he had assumed the woman with the large hair and dated sunglasses was his mother.
Wait, just what does he mean by 'magic ladies'?
"Just what do you mean by 'magic ladies'?"
"Well whenever anythin' weird goes on around here it's their fault!" the taller one complained, brushing his tongue with one finger like he was trying to scrub off a bad memory. "And Steven's one of 'em. He's got a magic belly-button and everything."
"C'mon Lars, it's not always bad," the shorter one chided. "They did bring back the ocean that one time. By the way, you new around here, sir?"
"Yeah, um, Alan. It's Alan. My name, that is. How'd you know?"
"Well, everyone who lives here already knows about Steven's... aunts. I'm Sadie, and this is Lars. You ever need a donut, you know who to talk to!" Sadie concluded with the perfect employee's smile.
"Haha, yes, well, if you ever need a, uh... vehicle, um, washed then... I work at the car-wash."
"What, with Steven's dad?" Sadie asked, taking Alan's dollar for the donut. "How'd you get a gig like that?"
"He sort of just gave it to me. Without asking my credentials."
"Well, word of advice, sir," Lars said, leaning over the counter conspiratorially, "don't get mixed up with those gems. They're nothin' but trouble!"
Sadie elbowed Lars in the ribs, eliciting a small yelp. "Alright, alright! They're other things than trouble. B-but still, mostly trouble!"
"I... see. Thank you for the warning. And the donut."
"No problem, sir. See ya around!"
Munching on his donut while wandering the town, Alan considered the new information he had acquired. 'Gem' was the colloquial term that residents of Beach City applied to the women tentatively considered Steven's aunts. And, apparently, they were 'trouble.' Whatever that meant. Alan sighed to himself.
Maybe I won't look for Pearl. Sounds like a complicated family situation, with... complicated family members.
Carried by familiarity to the only other establishment in Beach City he'd visited, Alan found himself in front of the library. He chuckled to himself and entered the building, resolving to read a book or go over his dissertation again instead of seeking out that strange girl.
I mean, what are the odds of bumping into her here again? There's no way she's-
"Excuse me, do you have any more educational textbooks like this one? Preferably on different subjects."
Alan stopped mid-thought and mid-stride.
No way.
There, in the foyer, standing at the reception desk, defying all odds, was Pearl. She was holding Electricity and Magnetism, For Kids! in front of her and talking to someone. Someone very confused and very sweaty.
Mayor Dewey?
"N-now now, Miss Pearl. I've ah- I've told you that I am just here to greet the patrons of this fine establishment, sponsored by yours truly, so as to-"
"But you're standing at the receptionist's desk."
"I- yes, I understand that, but-"
"And you're the only one there."
"I... am. I am, true, however-"
"So what function would you be serving at the receptionist's desk, by yourself, if not to receive patrons?"
The mayor yielded a sigh. "I'll... I'll check the records."
Pearl smiled smugly, turning her head upwards, just so, in victory. Alan took the opportunity to try and sneak around, but before he could complete his maneuver their eyes met.
"Oh, hello, um... Alaric."
"It's Alan."
"Ah. Well, I was only three letters away. I've been meaning to... apologize. For yesterday. Someone very dear to me informed me that making fun of flawed human knowledge was 'not very nice.' So... yes. I am sorry."
She's... apologizing? Why? There was so much information in those few short minutes of ranting! So much to be collected and analyzed and tested. There's just-
"So much you can teach me."
Alan's face blanked.
Oh was that my outside-the-head voice that's not what I-
"W-what?" Pearl managed in a startled tone.
I said it, it happened. No regrets!
"There's so much you can teach me!" Alan repeated excitedly. "Trans-dimensional particle interaction? What does that even mean? And why do you think quantum mechanics is so wrong? I mean, it's been the source of valuable predictive models for the past century and here you are claiming that it's a crude crutch humanity's been leaning on for answers, it's astounding! Is there more? And why do you keep talking about humans like they're some outside group! What are you? Where did you learn-"
"Haha oh, um... I think I left the, uh, dryer. On. I left it on very, very high! Oh, what a waste of electricity! I had better go... tend to that. Goodbye!"
With that, Pearl turned on her heels and gracefully stepped past Alan, disappearing into the afternoon. Alan scratched his head.
I guess I handled that wrong.
"Hey, where'd she go? I just found some comparable reading material for her. There's a whole For Kids! series of textbooks back here, isn't that crazy? Hah, well... I'll just put these on hold for her. Then she'll have to come back. Hey, didn't I see you yesterday?"
"I... don't think so, Mayor Dewey," Alan said evasively, turning for the door.
"Well, just remember who sponsored this building!" the mayor called after his retreating frame. "And remember who to re-elect!"
Alan found his way back to the car-wash at the end of his mostly unproductive day. Steven was just giving his dad an enormous good-bye hug, and Greg was making sure his son was ready to go home.
"You got everything, bud?"
"Yup!"
"Yeah? Well where's yer cheeseburger?"
Steven gasped. "Cheeseburger backpack!"
"Hah! Woah there kiddo, don't panic. It's on the desk with all your scripts."
Steven ran towards the main office, leaving Greg and Alan to ruminate in the light of the setting sun.
"Didja like your day off?"
"Hm? Oh, yes, it was pleasant enough. Say, can I ask you something?"
"Sure thing, kid!"
"Is Pearl your sister-in-law?"
Greg guffawed, eyes widening in surprise.
"Is she- what! Hah, no way, man! She's one of the-" Greg stopped himself, searching for the right words. "She's one of Steven's guardians. She just... helps takes care of him, that's all."
"But I heard she was magic."
"You heard she- double what! Of course she's not magic! That's- there's no way that that could be a, uh, thing about her."
Alan kicked himself for believing so easily in a couple of tired teens working the midday shift at a donut shop. Of course she's not magic. Of course. But still, an inkling of a doubt worked its way into Alan's head.
What if there is something special about her?
The young physicist found new determination.
Yes, there must be something to go off of; at least she may be able to substantiate all the strange rumors floating around of Beach City.
Steven flew by with a hurried "See ya later, dad!", cheeseburger strapped tightly to his back and face adorned with the frantic look of someone who was supposed to be home much earlier. Alan headed for his cozy supply closet, picking up his dissertation from the main office desk as he passed by.
...Except it wasn't there.
Alan did a frantic double-take. His hands were empty. The desk was empty. The floor was... filthy, but not full of dissertations. It was gone. He let out a long, exasperated sigh, emptying his lungs to properly express his disappointment at the state of the universe.
Okay, so my hypothesis has so far been rebuffed. By talking to Pearl, I did not, in fact, learn anything new. But that was just one data point. The prediction could hold if I keep trying. Yes, that's it! Tomorrow, there shall be more trials to run. And... more dissertations to print.