Part Two: Teenage Rebellion
Now comes the part where you dear reader, choose whether you hate me or sympathize with me. The next few years of my life are not ones that I'm proud of. I have no remorse or shame about them, but if given another chance, I would have used them more wisely. Read on, if you wish; and learn about the birth and death of Loki of Asgard.
As I fell, I wondered at why the voices were silent. Maybe they had fled, fearing for their lives. All other thoughts were jarred out of my mind by a blow to my back which sent my head whirling with pain. For a little while, I fell into unconsciousness, forgetting all my troubles for a few blissful hours.
I was rudely awoken by a sharp jab in my gut. Shaking my head to clear the fog, I became aware of a foreign object protruding from my stomach. I followed the object to the hand of a creature much like the Other, why, it must be another Chitauri.
Wait a minute; Chitauri? Where was I? I was supposed to be dead, but this was neither Hel nor Valhalla.
I looked around me, taking in my surroundings. I was indeed on the same rock pile I had seen when my spirit had wandered. Then I realized that somehow, against enormous odds, I had survived my fall. I suppose I must have chanced onto one of those places where worlds connect. I was still trying to process this when something pulled itself out of me. I looked back at my stomach, and I saw blood bubbling out of an open wound there. My brain finally registered the pain I had been experiencing, and it came in a torrent. I felt as if every bone and muscle in me must be torn and shattered. My stomach as if a spear had been poked all the way through it. Then again, I suppose that's what must have happened. I blessed the fates for Asgardian resilience.
Nevertheless, my eyes began to blacken, and I tried to scream, something, anything to express my pain. But nothing came out of my throat. Instead I heard myself cough, and felt hot liquid roll down my neck. Not good.
I looked up at my assailant, and he seemed surprised that I still breathed. Sitting up, I ignored the blaring sirens and gouging needles in my head; I froze his leg, making him scream satisfyingly. I felt myself hit ground again; causing several excruciating cracks to resonate within me. I coughed once more, feeling my eyes water and breathing hitch. I was wondering what I should do, but then it was decided for me. For just then, I got heaved onto one of the Chituari's shoulder. It was then that I noticed the pain was fading, and everything moving slowly. I felt my life-force slowly draining, and managed to beat back death only by slipping into a deep coma willfully.
When I woke, it was different. For one, I was not laying prostrate on a rock. Instead, I was in some kind of containment cell. I was also held upright, strung up in mid-air by my arms and legs, stripped down to my pants only. In short, I was completely helpless and in the most agonizing pain imaginable; which was made worse by the stretching my limbs were subjected to. Never before in my life has the urge to kill something violently seemed more attractive; though I'd become quite accustomed to that craving in years to come. I was positively feral; yet, my physical strength was gone. So I confined my raging to my mind, woe to the unwary that passed too close.
It was then that an unlucky guard came into my cell. Without even trying, my mind tore his to bits, leaving him dead on the ground. After a few minutes, and several other dead guards, I felt rather than saw five greatly armored guards come cautiously in. They had nothing to fear however, my small reserve of energy was completely spent. I sensed them place something heavy and painful on my head, then felt my mind become dull and useless to me: A telepathic lock. They had taken everything; I had nothing to do but give myself up to their intents, no matter what they were. But, unfortunately for me, I soon found out. In the meantime, I watched my blood and sweat slowly drop from my head and side to the floor, then gradually dry there. But the drops never slowed.
I didn't realize I had slept until I was woken by my own screams. I felt my heart stop for several agonizing seconds, and then start again with a painful lurch. Looking down, I noticed an armed guard jabbing me with some sort of evil blade. It glowed black and blue as it dug itself into my chest, only a few inches away from my heart. This was too much; I could stand pain, but a magic leeching artifact? No. I focused on the blade, and saw it breaking in my mind's eye. Then I felt something tighten over my temples, and blood roll down over my eyes. Right; no telepathy. Damn it. I screamed again, trying uselessly to throw the cursed thing out of me. But it was no use, the more I struggled, the deeper it burrowed into my flesh. I hung my head and felt it drag torrents of raw power from within me, leaving only enough so that I could re-charge for what I guessed would be the next day's extraction. The blade was removed, now flashing green and gold. My colors. I felt as if only half of me was still alive. They had taken part of my very being, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Now, a regular person would most likely have given up. Not cared anymore. But not me, I got angry. If they thought I would allow them to steal from me without one hell of a fight, then they had made a fatal mistake.
So I bided my time, let them get used to my passiveness. I convinced them that I had given up hope on escape. When all the while, I was regaining my strength, running on sheer will-power; the one thing they couldn't rob me of. Then one day, I knew I was strong enough to break my bonds with ease, and then I could see what I would do about escaping. I waited for my guard to come in with the blade.
He entered laughing to another of his kind. The newcomer hesitated at the door, eyeing me suspiciously. I concealed a smirk; obviously my reputation was a dangerous one.
My guard cackled contemptuously. He said something to the skeptic in his language, which I had learnt almost perfectly over these past few months:
"What are you afraid of? This one? Hah! Not he, he's not moved for months. Besides, he can't move a muscle, even if he tried, and his mind is completely bound. No, you've got nothing to fear from this one."
I raised my head then, startling the two of them. I spoke to them in their dialect quite fluently (I had to do SOMETHING with all that idle time, so I learnt their language.):
"I have a name creature. My name is Loki, of Asgard. You've been stealing from me." My voice was horse and cracked from dehydration and disuse. But there was nothing wrong with my tongue; it was nimble as ever.
My guard was speechless. He tried to look away, but I just laughed; a hollow, dry, humorless laugh, allowing my eyes to bore into his. He chuckled nervously, and his companion advised him to get extra security. Then I acted, breaking my bonds in one quick motion. I gouged my concealed knives out of my thighs and dispatched the two quickly. Ripping that accursed mental barrier off my head, I strode out into the hall, stumbling over my now weak legs. I killed every creature I came across and burst out of two doors at the end of the dungeon's hallway. I looked around quickly, recognizing the room before me as an audience area. Audience area, meant a king. I glanced about for a throne or dais. Then, to my left, I saw it. I walked swiftly towards the king past bewildered onlookers. As I neared the dais, I heard what must have been a cry of alarm. I ran the rest of the way up the throne's steps. Grabbing the figure on the throne, I held my knife to his throat calling out in a husky voice:
"Creatures of this realm, I am Loki of Asgard, and I have been held in your prison for months now against my will. I am here now, triumphant over all your defenses to demand an explanation. I fell onto your world by sheer accident, and even now, the wounds I have from the fall are not fully healed. Why was I imprisoned without crime or trial? If I am guilty, tell me now. For nothing is more infuriating than to be held without reason, and I assure you: It is dangerous for you."
The king spoke up saying that I had maimed a patrol man for life with frost-bite, and I was imprisoned until it could be determined how dangerous I was. When I killed yet another guard with telepathy, it was decided that I would need to be held until I could be identified. No-one knew me, so I had stayed down there, with my magic being drained as a safeguard.
It was a good explanation, but my constant solitude had driven me mad, making me quite unreasonable. So I denied that explanation screaming for the truth, threatening to destroy them all.
Then I was stabbed in the back, literally; I felt my body suck in whatever the blade was enchanted with; I was magically deprived, so anything of the arcane was absorbed instantly. And for one awful second, I loosened my hold on the man. My mistake, the ruler jumped out of my grasp and called for guards to shoot me. They did, and I was put full of holes. I remained standing though, refusing to give them the pleasure of seeing me kneel before their petty monarch. Instead I spat at his feet and hissed:
"You will regret imprisoning me like this."
With that, I was dragged to a deeper, darker place than earlier. This time magically bound to the walls and all my weapons were found and taken, the room itself blocked my telepathy. So I was left in the same position as I had been in before. Then the torture began in earnest.
The first thing my captors did every day was take turns slashing at me with a lead tipped whip; leaving infected wounds all over me, the gouges never ceased to burn infernally. The next thing done was to force tubes down my throat and leave them there. Using these, they pumped a vile liquid down into my stomach daily, and if I were to throw up, it would just go right back down. I know not what that substance was, but it threw me into convulsions every time I was subject to it. It felt as if my insides were burnt up each time; while leeching at my strength and leaving me gasping for air. I do believe it would have killed me if left pumping for long enough. But they always stopped it, just when death began to sound sweet.
I slipped into a state where I didn't notice myself hurting anymore. I needed to focus hard to feel anything at all. I recognized this as a symptom of malnourishment and fatigue. But I daren't sleep, lest I forget myself and pass into the next world. I still had a hard seed of determination to get out of this, and dying did not enter any of my calculations. There is one thing the reader must understand about me: once angered, I would always have my revenge, whether it took days or years; it didn't matter how long I had to wait. No-one could control me and get away with it. Ever.
When I was in that state, I had a good deal of time to think of what I had done. And I thought about it all, often, tearfully; yet the tears I shed were of bitterness, not remorse. What brought me through that time was not what might be expected. But I thought of Frigga. I thought of seeing her again, and realized that I wanted to; very much actually. I yearned for her free acceptance and love; and that brought me out of thoughts of vengeance and death. She was my single star in an endless sky of black despair.
Days dragged on; I had long given up on counting them; though I still didn't dare to sleep. Then one time, I looked up with a start. Something was different; something had diverged from the monotonous routine of agony. There was noise coming from above me. I looked up, realizing it was the sound of many feet rushing somewhere. But what from is what I couldn't tell. I soon found that out too.
I heard an ear-splitting crack. And just like that, the cell across from mine was broken open. My mind raced, if a prisoner escaped, I could have a singular chance at convincing him to remove my bonds. I closed my eyes and prayed my tongue had not turned lead from dereliction.
Sure enough, a humanoid strode past my clear cell wall. I got his attention by successfully spitting out those cursed tubes. When he directed his attention to me, I recognized him as a Jotun. I nearly screamed with joy, and promptly transformed into my natural form. He looked surprised, then Jotun loyalty kicked in, and he asked me where the release button was. I told him, and felt my bonds drop. I wasted no time in breaking the glass then, and we strode down the hall together, each of us grinning for different reasons.
When we reached the audience hall, I turned on my savior and, in front of all the watching Chitauri, I killed him. Then I directed my attention to the real cause for panic: one of the Kursed dark elves. I blessed that huge book for its information on Malekeith and his legions. I engaged the Kursed in battle by smashing a piece of ice over his head. Then, dodging his blows of retaliation, I set off one of his grenades; while just barely escaping in time. I then returned to my Asgardian appearance, and faced the Chitauri. But this time, I used telepathy to neutralize all their weapons beforehand.
"Hello again mortals. I suppose I just saved all your lives."
Many murmurs were circulated, but most admitted that, yes, I had indeed saved them all from certain destruction. I smiled and looked at the king, who was a different person than the other time I came here. This time, there was a figure who looked more regal and strong. Someone I wouldn't threaten lightly.
"Well your majesty, I most certainly won't go back into that hellish cell. So, I'm here to negotiate. I have at my disposal, the power to recall that beast if I so wish it, so I would advise you to listen." That was a bluff, but it couldn't hurt.
The King's response was quite prompt.
"I shall listen. Bring this man a drink."
I was not a fool though, and I dissolved the stuff before I swallowed it.
"Now, what I want is safe passage off of this realm back to mine. What you want," I took an educated guess, peeking into his mind: "Is something stolen to be returned to you. You've wanted this for a long while. And I know where it is."
"You know of the Tessaract?" He seemed rather dubious.
"Of course. As a prince of Asgard, I know all about it." I said dismissively.
That was not a bluff; I had indeed stumbled upon the subject in the library. I also took this chance to play my royalty card. It evoked the desired reaction:
The crowd erupted into turmoil. They knew Asgard's army was much too powerful to challenge, and now that one of the princes had a bone to pick… It looked pretty bad for them. The king spoke up then:
"Prince? We'll see about that. Guard! Bring me the Asgardian Census."
This was done with haste, and when the King was satisfied, he looked at me with a careful respect. I forced down the urge to laugh.
"Well Highness? Are you willing to make a compromise?"
And he was more than happy to. I had the good fortune of attaining the Other as a go-between for me and the King. In the end, our deal looked something like this:
"Prince Loki, of Asgard pledges to locate the Tessaract for Lord Thanos at all costs, supported by Lord Thanos' military and intelligence forces. In return for the Tessaract's location, Lord Thanos will release Prince Loki from his custody, allowing him safe return to Asgard without pressing charges for the 43 murders he committed. But, in the event of Prince Loki's failure, Lord Thanos declares his life forfeit, and he will pay for his crimes in full." Signed: His Lordship, Thanos of the Chitauri Loki of Asgard
"Does that sound fair princeling?" Thanos asked contemptuously.
"Quite. I'll not fail you, rest assured." I grinned. This would be too easy, the relic was on Midgard. Of all places, that was the easiest target. In addition, Thor loved that pitiful place, so he'd come running. I'd be able to see him, and show him what I was capable of. I was positively dying to unleash the beast within me.
We were to set out the next morning, and for the first time in what felt like years, I was under the scrutiny of a doctor. Apparently, my bones were still all fractured, but held together with living ice. This intrigued me; I wouldn't need to worry about it when my bones broke, I could still function normally. With extreme pain though; that was a drawback.
I proceeded to melt that ice, and allow that doctor to set my bones in the right positions; something I would later learn to do myself. As soon as I stopped focusing on keeping the ice melted, it re-froze, this time encasing my bones, making internal casts. This was extremely convenient; I needed no bulky slings or painful healing spells. So I walked out of there without a limp! Though still in much pain however.
I was then shown to a room, quite comfortable compared to what was previously given to me here. There was a clean, soft bed, a bathroom with fresh water, and a rug on the floor. Incredible luxury, compared to the cell of a few hours back.
I realized then, that I had not washed for several months, maybe years. So I went immediately to the bathroom; and after around two hours, I emerged, feeling cleaner than I had ever felt before. I even had new clothes thanks to hammerspace. Anything I could not achieve manually, I disguised magically. I brushed off the stubble on my chin, and slicked my hair back by manipulating static electricity. Looking in the mirror, I was able to see some of the man that used to stare back at me. But mostly, I saw a thin, scarred and angry boy. I scowled and looked away. My face was open, exposing to anyone who looked that I was not as confident as I said. Composing myself properly, I looked at myself again; and was much more satisfied this time. I saw what I wanted to see: A cold, calculating, handsome young man; with not a hint of indecision. Practice really did make perfect.
I walked around my temporary quarters, taking in my surroundings. I knew I couldn't trust these creatures, royal pledge be damned. I extended my senses freely for the first time in ages, and felt emotions coming from the several thousand other beings on this rock-pile. I was happy to note that I felt no hostility near me, only slight fear coming from the rooms beside mine. But that was to be expected.
I looked at the mirror again, scrutinizing my wounds and scars. I had a large warped spot on my stomach, from that spear I suppose, not quite healed. Another few much like it, but confused and ragged on my chest, from the magic blade; also not fully healed. On my forehead, just above my hairline, I had several deep gouges in the same condition. For that I blame the cursed mind shackle. I looked at my arms, and saw several red angry wounds there. And my eyes were sunken in to a horrifying extent. Besides that, the only thing noticeable was my pale complexion gone ghostly. I attributed that to my lack of sunlight, and the expected lash marks. But of all these, the only one that really concerned me was the stab mark in my back. Its scab had broken off, leaving a huge, festering wound dripping with blood and puss. The weapon that had stabbed me was no normal one; I wouldn't have been surprised if there was a curse on it. I knew that needed attention, but I didn't trust the doctor here anymore than I did Hel herself. But, on the other hand, I knew I needed to heal it soon though, or the infection would spread to my heart. So I tried that ice trick again; freezing over the wound. The bleeding stopped, and the skin surrounding it turned from yellow to red, so I suppose that was an improvement. I sighed, not able to do anything else for now. I let myself drop onto the bed, barely noticing the jab of pain from my spine. Compared to what I had dealt with every day; well… that was nothing. Just as I was slipping into sweet, natural sleep; my voices decided to return.
I swear I could have blown my own brains out then. It was Landr, the optimist who spoke first:
"Well, that could have been much worse. You pulled through well!"
"Aw shuddup, he was just about to get to sleep you moron!" Umber reprimanded.
"He doesn't need sleep dolt! He needs to get back at those guards before thinking of rest!" Skrell shrieked, causing me to grit my teeth in anger.
"I disagree with all of you; right now he needs a plan for tomorrow! He's about to attempt the conquering of a world, with no plan! That is highly dangerous." And with the addition of Data's voice, my little drama troupe was complete. But I refused to allow them to keep me awake tonight.
"Shut up all of you, NOW. Where were all of you when I really needed guidance? You each fled and left me for dead when I fell. But now that I'm healthy and back on my feet, you all decided that I could use some "friends" again. Well I've had it with that. Now leave. Get out of my head. You take up too much of my time, for what? Nothing. You never helped me, for my own sake. Actually, you've only hurt me. So I'm ordering you out."
They all silenced. Skrell was the next to speak, laughingly.
"Forget it Laufeyson, we'll sleep, but we'll never leave. There's nothing you can do to get us out, we've been here too long."
And then they were gone. I was too tired to do anything else about them now. I'd have to do it later. For now, I let myself sleep.
In the morning, I was woken by a sharp knock on my door. I rose, dressing into regular attire magically; then called out for whoever it was to come in.
A guard had come to say that breakfast was served, and I was expected in the great hall. I simply told him to lead the way. When we arrived in the hall, everyone present, including Thanos rose to acknowledge me, though I was careful to keep my face emotionless.
His Lordship himself spoke then:
"Fellows, let us show the Prince the hospitable side of our kind, and make amends for previous treatment."
With that, several servers came in with all kinds of foreign dishes and drink. I pulled the dissolving trick again though; I was still quite wary of their "hospitality"; though I was agonizingly hungry. I spoke amicably with the people surrounding me, and I put on the best possible show of complete forgiveness. But inside, I still had it in for them; I didn't forgive easily, and I never forgot.
After breakfast, I was given my directives, introduced to the army and presented with the infamous scepter. The thing seemed to sharpen my senses to a needle point, and sent energy hissing through my veins. This, along with the return of all my magic completed my materials. I was then teleported to Midgard. It was there that I located Dr. Erik Selvig, and by virtue of telepathic control, possessed him. I enjoyed this, feeling at last what it was like to be a voice, rather than hear it. After about a week of this, I had all the information I needed; so I made my first public appearance on Midgard. I arrived, ironically, using the power of the Tessaract.
The initial surge of energy made my adrenaline rush, and as I looked up, I tasted sweet triumph. My main mission was completed, by using the Tessaract; I had released its unique energy signature. This allowed Thanos to read his instruments, and track it with ease. Now, I could go on with my personal plan of domination. To be honest, I wanted a throne, but more than that, I wanted to show just what I was capable of. And if I failed at ruling these people, then I'd still make them pay in blood for each of my defeats.
"Sir, please put down the spear."
I acknowledged this order by looking at my scepter as if I were contemplating this, and then blasting the man with an energy ray. I proceeded to make short work of their highly trained guards and assassins, easily killing each superfluous one. After I had secured the area, I went ahead and tested my scepter`s ability to brain-wash. I grabbed at the closest agent's arm and scanned his memories. He was loyal, and was a champion of his division of work. But most importantly, he had undying loyalty.
"You have a heart." With that I pressed the blade of my scepter to his chest, watching his eyes glaze over and emerge blue. Satisfied, I hurriedly did the same for the other people I'd need. I then accosted the man who'd first spoken to me; Nick Fury, as I gathered from the other's minds. He was foolishly trying to get away with the Tessaract.
"Please don't. I still need that." I said with mock cordiality.
"This doesn't have to get any messier." He replied tensely,
"Of course it does. I've come too far for anything else. I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose."
"Loki… Brother of Thor!" Erik spoke up then, I grit my teeth.
"We have no quarrel with your people." Nick was trying to pacify me. That and the very mention of my "brother's" name caused me to drop all pretenses of politeness.
"An ant has no quarrel with a boot." I spat. I was rapidly losing my patience with this man.
"Are you planning to step on us?" Nick seemed rather surprised. I couldn't believe the ignorance I was dealing with. I decided to make it simple, and replied using their mindset, though drenched in sarcasm:
"I come with glad tidings. Of a world made free."
"Free from what?" Nick persisted.
"Freedom. Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart;" I whirled, putting Selvig under my control to illustrate my next point: "You will know peace."
"Yeah, you say peace. I kinda think you mean the other thing." He alluded to war, obviously. Well, maybe man was not as dense as all that.
"Sir!" Barton spoke up then, grabbing my attention. "Director Fury is stalling. This place is about to blow and drop 100 feet of rock on us. He means to bury us." I silently thanked Barton for this. It would have been quite an embarrassment.
"Like the Pharaohs of old." I could feel Fury's rage towards Barton then. I loved it.
"He's right, the portal's collapsing in on itself. We've got maybe two minutes before this goes critical." That was Erik. I turned to Barton:
"Well then."
He obediently shot Fury and I hurried out, my minions in tow; the Tessaract secure. Though in honesty, it was a strain to move, I nearly fell over several times.
We escaped to my base, leaving none of our pursuers alive. I proceeded to tell the Other that I had the artifact, and if it would please Thanos, I'd like to use it to unleash his army on the city.
The Other said Thanos consented. He had the Tessaract tracked now, and even if I lost it, he could always retrieve it himself. I had pretty much been given a carte blanche.
So I proceeded to launch my attack on Midgard. The first thing I needed was a type of chemical to use the energy as a portal, so I headed to Germany. I was aware of course of the shield agents within my own ranks, and skulking around every corner, playing at stealth. I pretended not to notice them. But I gave them plenty to report back to their master. 80 people dead in 2 days is way off, actually. I killed nearer 200. But that's just a minor detail. Really, what's important to know is that I manipulated them all. Every agent, every report, I knew exactly what was said, and what was known. How? Simple. I had perfected my astral projections so that they had every aspect of a human being; in other words, they could be touched without disappearing, and could react properly, with all of my own sass and sarcasm. Yet I could make them take any form I wished. I could be either male or female, Midgardian or Asgardian; the options were limitless.
In all actuality, I was never truly in any danger, except in Germany. It was the real me that got captured and flown off in a helicopter, the real me that was roughed up by Thor, and the real me that was imprisoned in that cage. But, I had remote access to the whole base. I used this ability to stir up fights between the Avengers. Also, I will claim credit for that fine bit of mind playing I did with Agent Romanov. I knew before she walked into the room that they were out to get my plans, and I decided to reveal them to her, just to boost their confidence before I crushed them each in a personal way.
I had but one flaw in my plans.
I had underestimated the resilience of that man: Nick fury. He actually managed to get the Avengers together even after I had thrown them apart. That was the only flaw, for I had counted on them resisting in small pockets for their own reasons. But instead, I faced a trained force of powerful and unified individuals. I must say though, that I stayed good on my oath to make them fight tooth and nail. So much so that, the man of Iron did the un-thinkable; he gave himself up for lost just to stop me. And in my opinion, he deserved the honor of dying in battle then. But, unfortunately for him and the rest of Midgard, he survived. Also, I had gotten back at Thanos for my treatment. After I saw that my defeat was imminent, I influenced Selvig to allow for a kill code in the portal generator. I knew if that was done, the Tessaract would end up in one of the Avenger's hands, and Thor would offer to bring it to Asgard. So, in effect, I cheated Thanos by a seemingly tragic oversight.
In the end, I had the last laugh on everything:
The Tessaract was, at no obvious fault of mine, out of Thanos's evil hands.
I had survived the worst ordeal the realms could throw at me, and was stronger for it.
I had even gotten exactly what I wanted out of a deal with what might have been Hel herself: Safe passage to Asgard; and pardon for my 43 murders.
So it was with a light heart that I went back to Asgard to face judgment. I knew that in Asgard, even life in a cell would seem close to Valhalla compared to what I had been through.
Thor didn't speak to me as we walked back to the palace. But his mind screamed of agony and confusion. I just smiled. He'd understand in a little while. I wasn't done yet. I'd just bide my time. But first, I needed to get in touch with the Dragon's Order. I'd been MIA for a while now, and needed to re-establish my position there.
I thought all these things as I walked behind my would-be brother.
After a small conversation with a guard, he escorted me to one of the cells in the Asgardian Dungeons. As I expected, the cell was more than twice the size of a Chituarian one. And, though bare (save the bed in a corner), it was spotlessly clean. I settled myself down into my new residence, for I knew that from now on, at least for a while, I'd need to content myself with remote freedom. This pained me, but there was nothing to be done.
I used this now unusual time of solitude to create a clone at the door of the syndicate. I then allowed my consciousness to pass into my clone, making my physical body look like it was sleeping on its bed.
I walked through the door, hurrying to my room. As I expected, someone was occupying it.
"Out. Now." I demanded.
The light elf looked up from sharpening a knife with a jerk.
"And who are you to tell me to do so?"
"I am Loki Laufeyson, and this is my room. Now, you have five seconds to get out."
He didn't move. Stupid elf.
I lunged at him predictably, dagger in hand, causing him to parry with his knife. Then, I phased myself behind him, pausing only to give him a warning:
"Next time, think twice before denying me."
Then I plunged the knife deep into his heart, taking great pleasure in watching him sag to the ground, going through all the throes of a painful death. Stepping over his corpse, I took the elevator to his master's room. He happened to be my old one; so things went rather smoothly. I explained my absence, (with a complete fabrication), and told him of the events of the past five minutes. He accepted the facts I presented, and turned back to his work.
His mistake, I did not hesitate to kill him; taking the head to his superior. This effectively sent me up a level. I repeated this process six more times, varying in my approach, but always with the same outcome. I would have continued further, but my physical body was telling me to return. So I retired to my new quarters, and after writing a note to whoever my new student would be, explaining my nonappearance; I dissolved my clone, and recalled my conscious into myself.
I "woke" and looked around me, noticing a guard standing over me. He announced that the Allfather would see me now. This was a surprise; I had expected for him to take several days to get around to me. But it had only been a few hours. To be frank, I felt slightly flattered.
I got up, and allowed myself to be shackled hands and neck. Following my guard to the end of the hall, I noticed many of the prisoners had retreated to the back of their cells. Apparently, I was a well-known danger. Either that or they thought I was a ghost. Most likely the latter.
As we walked, my single guard grew to an escort of six. Again, I felt flattered.
We entered the Allfather's throne room, and I was sent into a river of memories. I could recall only too clearly the feel of Gungnir in my hands, the view that dais gave. But that was long out of my reach. I had forfeited any chance at those things ever again. I had bigger ambitions now.
I walked up to the throne, with a show of Midgardian zeal, I stood at attention. Odin was not amused.
I will abstain from writing down that rather painful conversation. But I will say the three things I learnt from it:
1. No matter what I told myself, I truly had desired Odin's approval. That ache would not soon ease.
2. Frigga loved me, she did not just tolerate me; she loved me. And I had hurt her, badly. The wound that caused would never heal. Just seal up, and pretend not to exist.
3. I was fated to hurt and destroy the people I loved most.
It was due to the last realization that my face dropped as Odin gave my sentence. I went back to my cell willingly, and collapsed onto my bed, shedding silent, angry tears.
The next year of my life, was one of the most miserable I had ever experienced; my range of freedom being limited t space with my communications cut entirely. The only comfort I had was my remote clones, but it was not the same. If I experienced anything, it was as if from a great distance, mellowed by the long trip. Frigga did bring me books, and for this I was grateful. Unfortunately, at the speed that I read, I could easily consume five in one day; and Frigga could only bring in ten every month; and more often than not, I'd already read them. Nevertheless, few books were better than none. I needed more than that to fill the long hours of silence though. In these times, my mind invariably wandered to my past choices, to all the "could have's" and "should have's", "if's" and "but's"; they were slowly tearing at my sanity. What was worse, the voices would not be silenced. In short, I had no peace, not ever; I couldn't hold a proper chain of thought!
Eventually, I lapsed into a state where, no matter what was happening, if it wasn't affecting me, I ignored it entirely. To be honest, I was too busy trying to follow the conversations inside my head. It was at this time that I began to really realize what the voices were; I had demons, lots of them. The number grew by the week; and runes began to appear etched into my skin, I'd learn what they meant later.
During these long periods of motionless contemplation, I ascended the ranks of The Dragon's Order; until one day, I found myself among the top 100. These people were the realm's most highly intelligent, highly trained killers. If any of us slipped up, even once; it meant death. I saw this myself: Every second day, a meeting was held; discussing the conclusions of yesterday's goals. Every person who failed to perform to the expectations of their masters was called up, lined up, and systematically slaughtered. Maybe 2 or 3 were taken each time. Thus, the trickle of new people was never-ending; masters had to keep their senses razor sharp, because everyone was trying to get into higher ranks.
To those who had survived this rigor for more than a year, respect was accorded them. One could hardly help it, for someone to last that long, it required massive amounts of focus and intelligence. It was this that kept the Grand Master high in everyone's esteem and fear. He had started this syndicate himself, 20,000 years ago; and had held his position as overlord through it all. No-one actually saw him much, besides the unlucky few who were audacious enough to attempt an assassination. These efforts were sporadic, always ending the same way; their bodies were found burnt to a crisp in their own quarters. It was thus that the whole of the organization was kept in check; no-one daring to even mention his title above a whisper. It was commonly doubted that he would ever be replaced. Obviously, I made doing just that my long-term goal.
But I would need to wait a long, long time.
Meanwhile, I thrived; never feeling more alive than when I had just killed someone. The thrill of hunting an individual who could match my wits and the rush of being hunted; it made me into a new person, and I liked what I had become. The only drawback was that I did it all remotely, at no actual danger to myself; this made me much bolder though.
Back in my cell, I received no visitors, except Frigga, but she could only see me twice every month. I was, effectively, abandoned; again. This thought didn't bother me though, neither did the fact that if Thor or Odin died, I wouldn't know about it until who knows when. In fact, I realized that I really didn't care at all. They had left me to rot, so why in Helheim should I give a Fang of Fenrir if they died? Whatever you may have thought, dear reader, I didn't. Or, that is what I told myself day and night.
Then one day, something happened. There was a crash coming from a cell further into the dungeon; I experienced a large jolt of deja vu. I considered this reason enough to stop my bored fidgeting and look at what was happening. Then before my eyes, one of the Dark Elves Kursed creatures broke out of his cell, using another prisoner's head as a battering ram. I have to admit, that was clever. He then walked down the hall, releasing all the prisoners he could. He soon had a large assembly, but when he got to my cell, all his followers drew back, causing him to hesitate.
I walked up to him, staring him down. Daring him to release me, and risk the consequences. I saw his gaze falter, and I drew back, smirking. He started to walk off; smart choice for him. I called out after him quietly, hearing Thor's distinctive footsteps above:
"You might want to take the stairs to the left."
He looked at me dubiously, but nevertheless followed my advice. Then was gone, and I was left innocently inside my cell, thus safe from blame for the prison break. That would have been the last thing I needed.
The next moment, Thor with co burst through the dungeon doors, and the freed prisoners were all malice 'n murder.
I pitied them, Thor may be an idiot, but he definitely knew how to knock some heads; they didn't have a chance.
"If you go back into your cells, no harm will come to you, you have my word." Thor offered,
A club hit his face then though. Strike one, they're all out.
"Very well, you do not have my word." And the battle started, lasting for almost exactly 3 minutes; with all the prisoners lying unconscious at the end of it. I had by this time re-settled myself back into my routine of either staring at the wall, or staring at the ceiling.
The next hour I cannot tell you in any other way than what a guard reported to me, though I'm sure you know what happened.
Apparently, that beast of a dark elf found his way into Frigga's chambers. I was told that she was killed, 3 hours after the fact.
I lost it.
When I heard the news, I nodded to the guard, indicating that he could leave; which he hastily did. After I was sure he was gone, I got up and walked to the center of the room; showing all the signs of someone calm and collected, while fighting furiously to keep my walls from crumbling yet again. I clenched my fists in frustration, accidentally releasing a wave of telepathic force; subsequently smashing all my furniture. I fought for a good ten minutes against myself; swallowing bile, gnashing my teeth. But eventually, everything snapped, and I fell to my knees, giving way to a burning rage; losing all control over myself, degenerating into the raving mad, desperate mass of painful anger that I really was.
Looking back, I thank the fates I was confined then, for if I wasn't who knows what would have happened to innocent bystanders. I was consumed by white hot anger, I couldn't feel anything except excruciating pain, and that made me all the more furious. I didn't want to believe it. She was gone, my one solid rock; my one guiding star was gone and I was left drowning in the sea of my insanity. Not only that, but the last interaction I had with her was me disowning her; I was such a stupid, god forsaken monster! I hadn't meant it, and now there was no way to tell her that.
For what seemed like hours, I screamed and wailed, trying desperately to fill the gaping hole that had appeared in my heart. I resorted to destruction, ripping my books to shreds, and then decimating the furniture. When I ran out of things to destroy, I began to claw at myself, finding solace in pain. My nails turned blue, sharp as knives; I didn't stop until I had covered them in blood. Screeching in agony, I dug deeper into my flesh, desperately trying to distract myself from the voice in my head.
"Idiot! Worthless! Monster! Beast! Just die already!"
I tore at my hair and threw myself at the wall, pounding at it desperately. I needed to hide, go somewhere deep, dark and secret, to try and re-piece my shredded sanity. This cell was brutally white and light stabbed at my eyes like daggers, causing the tears to come even heavier. Eventually, my strength gave out, and I sagged down the wall sobbing heavily, without bars. Giving way and allowing the demons to run rampant, condemning me, pointing out my every mistake.
People who see me think I commit atrocities without remorse or apology; even I say that I regret nothing. But in moments like this one, it's perfectly clear that I have never told a greater lie.
After a long time, I had calmed down sufficiently to put up the illusion of me reading serenely. Meanwhile, I wrestled with my conflicting sides, they both held equal ground. I was divided completely in half, needing only the tiniest thing to tip me off of either edge. It was literally the choice between life and death. I felt the voices coming from my own throat; in a way, I was talking to myself; the notions being my own sentiments distilled and voiced:
"Well, we really did it this time. We killed Mother, our one supporter. Why not just be done with it?"
"Because we didn't mean to, it wasn't our fault!"
"Shut up! It was our bright idea to let that beast go anywhere near Mother's chambers. Of course we killed her! In fact, the only beast around here is us! WE DID IT! We killed the one person who loved us unconditionally, so if you'll excuse us, we need to die now."
"Stop it. We aren't going to die yet. We still have something to live for, the Dragon's Order, our Brother!"
"He's not our brother. And what kind of life is that? Living as a possessed maniac whose only drive is power?"
"It actually doesn't sound-"
I cut off then, since someone was approaching my cell. I looked over and, speak of the devil, it was Thor himself. I yearned to confess to him, cry on his shoulder like days of old, hoping against hope that he would still accept me. Instead, I heard myself speak in brutal tones:
"Thor, after all this time, and now you come to visit me; Why? Have you come to gloat; to mock?"
"Loki enough. No more illusions."
I was shocked that he could tell. But then again, he knew me better than anyone else living did, plus my mind wasn't exactly sound right now; I allowed my illusion to slip away.
"Now you see me brother."
And indeed he did, in all my bloody, disheveled glory. I couldn't help myself, I asked him:
"Did she suffer?"
He didn't answer. What should I have expected? Instead, he offered me something.
"I know you seek vengeance as much as I do. And if you help me escape from Asgard I will grant it to you, vengeance; and afterwards away with this cell."
I glanced around, wanting horribly to get out and stay distracted, but I smelt something irregular about this. He never asked me for help. I forced a laugh:
"You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?" His response was very quick and cold.
"I don't. And you should know that when we fought each other in the past, I did so with a glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere. That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me, and I will kill you."
With some effort, I fought down tears at another blatant rejection. But outwardly, I simply smiled wanly.
"Hmm. When do we start?"
Ten minutes later, after a quick visit to our rooms, we were marching down the hallways like old times. I was grinning with fake enthusiasm; though visiting my room had done me worlds of good. It gave me a chance to re-fabricate my realities; to put my walls back up, stronger than before. This time, I promised myself, no-one would ever get in again. To put it simply, this un-expected outing had tipped the balance inside of me, and my vitality had returned full force. To outsiders, I looked downright jolly, but really, it was a front. I was focusing all my attention on the current events to try and keep the pain under control.
We continued down the hall, Thor being sullenly silent, and me making attempts at alleviating the situation's tension. Internally, my thoughts were screaming at me:
"Idiot, what in Helheim are you doing? Do you really think that pulling all these antics will cause your grieving to end?"
Thor was not amused either, he silenced me by virtue of his colossal hand clamped over my mouth, when I inquired why, he indicated a troupe of soldiers passing us on the other side of the hall. Annoyed, I asked him exasperatedly:
"You could at least furnish me with a weapon, my knife, something!" I was testing him, I already had my concealed knives.
He nodded as if in consent, and I smirked.
"At last, some sense!" My smile froze, seeing my hands, they were bound. I raised them up for him to see, Thor smiled:
"But I thought you liked tricks!"
Outwardly I brushed it off:
"You lied to me. I'm impressed." But inwardly, I was hurt; yet another harsh reminder of my broken reputation. This would take some work to fix; if I actually wanted to that is, I was still deciding that.
We walked on until we met up with Sif and Jane Foster. I introduced myself, eliciting a slap from the mortal.
"That was for New York."
Great, I thought; yet another person who judges me without listening to my side of things. Outwardly, I wouldn't dream of showing my disappointment.
"I like her." I said to Thor smiling. I then proceeded to comb through her mind until I knew everything about me that she thought she knew; if that makes any sense. As I expected, all she knew of me was that I had smashed some skyscrapers in New York for seemingly no reason. Stupid Midgardians.
At that moment, a troupe of soldiers was heard coming towards us in the hallway. Sif immediately unsheathed her weapon, ready for battle. Thor nodded to her and started in the opposite direction. I began to follow, but was stopped by cold metal to my throat.
"Betray him, and I'll kill you." I smirked, moving against Sif's sword without fear.
"It's good to see you too Sif." She removed her blade and tried to stare me down. I simply ignored her gaze and walked off grinning; she had actually noticed me. When I caught up to Thor, he and Jane were walking past Volstagg, who was guarding the Dark Elf ship, I went to follow, but was held back by his big arm.
"If you even think of betraying him," I cut him off:
"You'll… kill me? Evidently, there will be a line."
I brushed past him then, boarding the monstrous ship behind him. When I got in, Thor was hitting at random buttons confusedly. I watched him for several seconds, becoming irritated at his incompetence. Sif was most likely overpowered by now, and Volstagg couldn't take them all on for long.
"Whatever you're doing brother, I suggest you do it faster." I said impatiently.
"Shut up Loki!" He snapped back.
"Don't hit the buttons, just push them gently."
"I am pressing them gently!" He yelled, hitting all the harder in his agitation. Then suddenly, it started up, much to Thor's delight. He then proceeded to turn the huge thing around, flying out the other end of the throne room; decimating all the remaining pillars on the way out. I sighed. He really wasn't meant to be a schemer…
"I think you missed a column."
"Shut up!"
We flew out into the open, missing archways and houses by mere inches. I let out the breath I'd been holding.
"I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing."
"I said: How hard can it be?"
If my hands weren't bound, I would have pinched my nose in frustration.
"Look, why don't you let me take over, I'm clearly the better pilot."
"Is that right? Well out of the two of us, which one can actually fly?"
This silenced me for a spell. Until he swooped low and scared the living daylight out of some civilians. Then of course he couldn't resist going through narrow alleyways while he was at it. I nearly threw up. We were shot on the wing, causing the ship to lose some lift and scrape a bridge. When Thor tried to right us, he managed to smash straight into a defense turret. This of course would alert every guard in the city to our location. I was about to remark, but Thor beat me to it.
"Not a word."
I looked behind us, and saw three or so guard ships on our tail, I quickly informed Thor:
"Now they're following us."
The ship then shook violently, causing my heart to go into my mouth.
"Now they're firing at us!"
"Yes, thank you for the commentary Loki; it's not at all distracting!" I was incredulous. This was nothing short of insanity. He had no plan; I should never have gone with this idiot. We headed to an archway next, clipping our wing on a statue to the side. I groaned internally; could he do nothing without spreading general chaos?
"Well done. You just decapitated your Grandfather." I said, covering my rising panic with oozing sarcasm."
We scraped by that passage and came out, flying almost level with the Bi-frost Bridge. The stress of this situation seemed to be too much for Jane, who collapsed onto the floor. I swear my heart skipped two beats then. But, for my reputation's sake, I acted mildly curious:
"Oh dear. Is she dead?"
"Jane!?" Thor was much more frantic, almost leaving the controls. Thankfully for us all, Jane assured him:
"I'm ok." She sounded weak though. I had had enough. I stood facing Thor, confronting him angrily for taking me on this damned escape.
"What a great idea this is brother, let's steal the biggest most obvious ship in all of Asgard and use it to destroy things on our way out."
"Shut up." He tried to silence me, but I wasn't done yet.
"It's brilliant Thor! Simply Brilliant!"
"I said, shut up!"
He cut me off again, throwing me out the doorway while the ship was in full flight. For a second, I freaked. My hands were tied, stopping me from swimming. I couldn't believe he would… *Crack* I smashed into a waiting ship then, landing painfully on my back, in the same manner I had the last time I was thrown from his sight. I was sure my back wound was bleeding again. Thor and Jane soon joined us, and I heard a mocking voice behind me:
"The dungeons have left you much less graceful Loki!"
I grit my teeth; Fandral. I didn't reply, feeling sure that if I did, any scrap of goodwill I had left from Thor would dissolve. So I bit my tongue until I tasted blood, then bit harder.
The Dark Elf ship flew on above us, leading the pursuing guards on a wild goose chase. Thor turned to me then:
"Now, take us to this passage."
I smirked hollowly, my back still aching. But I did as he asked; when I touched the controls of the boat, I immediately remembered long days of freedom and started grinning openly; almost forgetting my pain. I sped us into the right direction, not getting far before we were spotted. Fandral spoke up then:
"This is farewell; good luck!" He stared long and hard at me, though I ignored him.
"For Asgard!" With that he swung over to the guard ship behind us and turned it around.
After a few minutes we had come to the mountain that held the rift between realms. I headed straight for the mountain face.
"Loki…" Thor asked what I was doing with his tone. I quickly replied:
"If it was easy, everyone would do it."
As we got close, I saw the narrow crack that we needed to enter. I sped us up to acquire the momentum we needed to not get caught between worlds.
"Are you mad?" Thor sounded really concerned now. I smirked:
"Possibly." Was my only reply, for then we catapulted through the tunnel and flew out into Muspelheim.
"Ta-daa!" I crowed triumphantly. Thor's muscles visibly relaxed.
I turned to watch as Thor made Jane comfortable while she struggled against the power of the Aether. I was slightly hurt; he hadn't even so much as asked if I was well. Which honestly, I was not. Outwardly I said:
"What I could do with the power running through those veins." Thor responded quickly and shortly; impersonally:
"It would consume you."
"She's holding up alright. For now." I cut to an issue that had been bothering me; why was he so infatuated with such a fragile being? He immediately defended her, managing to insult me at the same time:
"She's strong in ways you'd never know." That did it; I switched from curious to antagonistic. I hit him on what must be a sore point:
"Say goodbye."
"Not this day."
"This day, the next, a hundred years, it's nothing." I stood up "It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready. The only woman whose love you prized will be snatched from you." I said this with no small amount of venom; my jealousy of Mother's attentions showing.
"And will that satisfy you?" He asked angrily, I was in no mood to be silenced, so I snapped back:
"Satisfaction's not in my nature."
"Surrender's not in mine."
"The son of Odin," He cut me off, his tone rising.
"No, not just of Odin! You think you alone loved mother? You had her tricks, but I had her trust." I was hurt; badly. What did he know?
"Trust? Was that her last expression? Trust? When you let her die!?"
"What help were you in your cell?"
"Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE?!"
He lunged at me then, pinning me down and raising his fist against me.
"You know damn well; you know damn well who!" After a pause he added: "She wouldn't want us to fight." He was close to tears. This brought me to my senses; I was bound, so I wasn't in the position to combat him. I put on an apologetic face, shoving my poisonous hatred aside for now.
"Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked."
"I wish I could trust you." He said, looked at me sadly, tears in his eyes. Searching in vain for any sign of human emotion; I returned his gaze carefully, telling him the same thing I told my demons:
"Trust my rage."
Within the next few minutes, all was silent; the two of us brooding over our lost past. I summed it up easily to myself:
Miscommunication, jealousy turned to hate. So much hate, for people we love. If only we could swap places, he needed to understand what went on inside, everything else was a lie. But that would never happen; not if I could help it. I needed to disconnect completely for a while; I needed to start over, without the ties and bonds of Asgard. In a few minutes, I had figured out how. It would take a little bit of acting, but nothing I couldn't manage. At that moment, we saw the Dark elf mother ship on the horizon; Malekeith.
We stopped at the top of a hill, just out of sight, and discussed the plan; leaving Jane completely out of it, for her sake. It went something like this:
I would stab Thor and kick him down the hill; he would then try to get up, causing me to kick him to the ground again. I would speak to Malekeith, offering him Jane and Thor. Thor would then reach for his hammer, I would stop him by cutting off his hand; hopefully sealing Malekeith's trust in me. If all went well, he would take the Aether out of Jane, leaving it suspended in the air, vulnerable for a few precious seconds. In this time, I would restore Thor's hand and heal his side, allowing him to use Mjolnir to destroy the thing. After this, we would need to fight our way out of Muspelheim; Thor would try and distract the Kursed, giving me time to escape with Jane to safety. He warned me not to look back if he were to fall. I had no intention of listening though, I had other ideas. That beast had killed my mother; there was no way that I'd let him get away with killing my Broth- Thor as well. Besides, I needed my revenge on him.
"You know, this plan of yours is going to get us killed." I said.
"It very well may, but we have no other options."
I nodded, seeing his logic. I held out my bound hands to him; it would be quite impossible to do anything with the shackles. Thor looked at me skeptically.
"You still don't trust me brother?" He looked at me hard hesitated. Pleading with his eyes for my loyalty.
"Would you?" he asked of me. I looked down at Malekeith, flooding my mind with malice.
"No, I wouldn't." With that, undid my own shackles easily; I'd never actually been securely bound. Thor looked frightened, but he held out a knife to me, but it wasn't a good one, dull and ill-forged.
"No thanks, I'll use my own."
I reached down and gouged one of my concealed knives out of my skin. Thor was horrified, I nodded at him slightly, then stabbed him; not gently either. I still hated him; but I just happened to hate Malekeith even more.
Thor rolled down the hill, with me shouting out curses and laughing cruelly:
"Do you really think I ever cared? All I ever wanted was you and Odin dead at my feet." Thor reached for his hammer, and I cut off his hand at the wrist.
Hook,
I hailed Malekeith and his party, who seemed rather bewildered.
"Malekeith, I am Loki of Jotunheim, and I bring you a gift." I then thrust a frightened Jane towards him.
"All I ask in return is a good seat to watch Asgard burn."
Line,
The Kursed spoke to Malekeith then, saying in their language:
"I know this one, he is an enemy of Asgard." This made Malekeith turn to Thor as he began to draw the Aether out of Jane.
Sinker.
"Loki, now!" I reacted within the instant, restoring him his hand, allowing Mjolnir to smash into the Aether, shattering it. The resulting explosion was too violent for my comfort; I lunged towards Jane, shielding her from the brunt of it. Then we all watched in horror as the shattered pieces floated off the ground and right back into Malekeith.
Damn.
His purpose accomplished, Malekeith went on his stately way, telling his minions to "Kill them all." Figures.
Mjolnir rocketed towards his retreating figure, but the Kursed got in the way. Thor looked at me, and I knew he expected me to protect Jane and get out. But that's where I began to execute my own plans.
You see, Malekeith was mistaken; the Aether was not potent enough to darken all the realms. The worst that would happen was some havoc and mass disturbances of the peace. But he would never achieve his ultimate goal, which was to return the realms to full darkness. There simply was not enough dark matter to accomplish this. But I stayed quiet about this; it wasn't necessary for Thor to lose his drive. He'd gotten in enough trouble already; time to remove myself from his list of problems and worries. But first, avoid death; by the hands of dark elf assassins. I was of course, surrounded; Jane was a safe distance away though.
I let my senses extend, feeling rather than seeing their every move. One lunged towards me on the right, and I lashed out with a knife, slitting his throat neatly. The next came from behind; I whirled and cut his face open. The last two were running at me from the left and right. I cloned myself, and jumped back invisibly, watching them shoot themselves. I looked over to see one of the matter grenades go off near that mortal. I cursed under my breath and shoved her out of harm's way, foolishly getting myself caught in its pull. I had no time to even contemplate death though, because my wind was knocked out of me by Thor's mass crushing me under him. That wasn't expected; I hadn't done anything for him to want to save me. Nevertheless, I owed him one. My chance to repay him came very soon, since Thor went back then trying in vain to destroy that Kursed beast through head-on combat. I watched for a while, modifying my plans until I had perfected them; as Thor got pounded into the earth again and again. It was in the moment that Thor's death was seconds away that I gripped a dark elf sword and ran the beast through. That got his full attention moved to me. As expected, he was still quite alive; he turned and faced me; I braced myself for the pain that was coming. He shoved me onto the blade that protruded from his stomach; right through my heart. How fitting. With sleight of hand, I set of one of his grenades on his own back. I fell to the ground, breathing heavily.
"See you in Hel, monster."
With that, he was destroyed. And I was left to struggle with keeping myself conscious. Hold on now, just a little longer Loki. Just a little longer.
I heard Thor yell then, falling to his knees beside me. He propped me up to look at my face.
More pain.
"Fool, you didn't listen." His tone verged on panic.
"I'm a fool, I- I'm a fool. I didn't listen, I'm a fool-" I coughed up blood then, my head in a haze. Just a little longer.
"I'll tell Father what you did here today, you'll have an honorable-"
I cut him off:
"I didn't do it for him."
That was a pointed jab. This was what I wanted him to remember. Despite the hate, despite the betrayal, I still loved him. He was, and always would be my brother. And when it counted, I would support him. With that, I froze my bloodstreams, allowing them to begin healing; painfully, allowing my system to slow to where you couldn't hear a heartbeat. But I was still alive; barely. It was dangerous to do this, I was playing with hellfire, literally; but it was enough to convince him.
I heard Thor cry out in sadness, as if across miles of distance. I could see his face twist into painful tears, but it was as if I was remembering it vaguely. I felt him get up after what seemed an eternity, and leave me; for what I hoped to be forever. Or at least a long, long time.
With this move, I had completed what my subconscious had been working towards for my whole life. Every tie, every little obligation and debt to anyone in all of Asgard was severed. I was a free man, truly. No-one expected anything from me anymore; I was liberated to do whatever it was I pleased, with no remorse or fear. I could essentially re-start my life.