Thessia

Sen lowered her eyes as Liara fell silent. She had no idea where the strength to ask the archaeologist of her grief had come from, or how she had been willing to accept entry into the T'Soni estate, where no asari but the owner ventured. She did not understand all that had happened, how Mira had been caught in the accident, how Liara had been able to discover the information that she had.

And now…now…Sen wished she had never asked. Liara looked frail, much more so than she had looked when dressed in a hospital tunic and under Sen's care. Even then, Liara had carried a veil of strength that now, between them, had vanished.

Sen understood what Liara had meant when she spoke of a lack of tangible proof. She had read the report of Mira's condition, but it was not the same as seeing her, holding her hand, willing energy into the universe to bring her back, healthy and whole. What she did not understand was how Liara had sought to leave the company of the crew. Dr. Chakwas had been kind to her, and though Liara had not mentioned it, Sen was certain that Ashley Williams had been devastated by the loss of her battle-sister.

Sen could not imagine leaving this place now without a friend at her side. She shuddered at the thought of being alone, with no one to wake her from her nightmare. No one to offer her kindness.

"Did you truly do it?" Sen broke the silence with an exhausted, tear-stained voice. "Did you leave the crew of the Normandy behind and return here?"

Liara nodded, worrying her lower lip with the edge of her teeth. "I did." she said, barely above a whisper.

"Why?"

"I was young. Stupid, young, and heartbroken for the very first time in my short life." Liara replied. "There was an emotion at the back of my mind that, aboard the STG ship, I had no knowledge of. I thought of Kaidan Alenko's death, and how the crew had endured their time of mourning and then continued on with the mission. I could not bear them treating Shepard's death in the same manner."

"I can understand that." Sen nodded, wondering who would grieve for Mira besides Sen and her father.

Mira had spoken of friends, a foreign idea in Sen's mind, until she had met Liara. It comforted Sen in some odd way, to know that more than family and a lover would grieve Mira's loss, if such a tragedy were to transpire.

"The STG commander aboard that ship was close with Captain Kirrahe, who was with us on Virmire. Because Kirrahe respected Shepard so much, the commander allowed me to take the ship's shuttle and fly to the nearest inhabited planet to obtain transport to Thessia. I did not even say good-bye to the crew."

"Were they not your…friends?" Sen asked, bewildered by the cold words from Liara's lips.

The asari sitting beside her had never seemed heartless, had never spoken of connection with another as anything to be hidden or subverted, but rather to be celebrated and cherished. It seemed anathema to her character to leave without bidding those she cared for good-bye.

"I could not think of them as such." Liara said, shaking her head, the residue of ancient shame still stamped clear on her features. "As they were preparing the shuttle for my departure, the voice in my head grew louder, telling me to revile them, telling me that their weakness had gotten Shepard killed. The strong were meant to protect the weak…but not to die for them. I loathed Joker with everything I had in me. I loathed his stubbornness in not abandoning the cockpit, making Shepard have to return for him. I loathed the frailty of his body, of his hand that could not retain its grip, that was broken for the trying. I hated Ashley, who had not allowed the shuttle to return to the wreckage. I hated Karin Chakwas for admitting Shepard's death so soon. It took me too long to realize that I never hated them at all."

"What?" Sen asked as the house VI entered bearing another tray with a steaming tea kettle and two cups.

Liara poured tea and handed the cup to Sen, who wrapped her chilled hands against the ceramic with a grateful smile.

"How could I hate them?" Liara mused, staring off into a world where Sen could not enter. "How could I hate them for things not of their own doing? Shepard had gone of her own free will to save Joker, when escape protocol dictated that he be allowed to die. Ashley had followed that same protocol in refusing to return to the crash. Chakwas had done what she knew…and called the time of death. They were not my enemies."

"Did you turn your hatred inward?" Sen asked, believing such an occurrence entirely feasible.

The thoughts running through her mind whispered that she should have been there. That, had she been, a biotic barrier would have been in place around Mira, or that a different route home would have been chosen, or that if she had begged Mira to return home with her, the human would have relented and none of this would have happened.

"No." Liara whispered. "No, even though I should have. It might have made more sense, to a logical mind. but I had lost logic at that time."

"Who did you blame, when the anger overcame you and superseded the grief?" Sen asked, taking a sip of the scalding tea, letting it burn down her throat and soothe her spirit.

"I began to hate Serena." Liara replied. "Though it took me quite some time to come to that realization. When I returned here, to the home I had left decades ago, I still hated the crew of the Normandy. And when I arrived here, I let that hatred fester and grow in the dark until it rationalized itself foolishly and dominated my mind. Because, when I opened these doors, I found neither peace nor forgetfulness."

Sen's brow creased.

"What did you find?"

Liara traced the embroidery on the coverlet with an elegant, callused fingertip. She answered with a single word.

"Ghosts."