Liara

I walked through the grand foyer of the house, chilled by the silence. My footsteps echoed off of the highly polished stone floor, coming back to me as the sound ricocheted off of the walls. I clutched the railing of the stairs as a wave of dizziness overtook me. This stairway would lead to my room, to the memories of who I was before I had left Thessia. I wondered if Benezia had kept it as it had been when I departed, if she had retained some sentiment for her rebellious daughter.

You have always made me proud, Liara. My heart ached.

It did not seem right that I should remember the words she had spoken before her death. Not in this place, not where she had lived, established her sanctuary, and counseled both the wisest and weakest of us.

My father left you, I spoke to Benezia in my thoughts, wishing that she could reach out, that the love of the universe could return her to me, as it had given Avi back to Shepard when she needed it most. Did you feel that loss, mother? Did your heart ache less because my father still lived? Or did it hurt all the more, feeling the chasm between the two of you and knowing that it would not be mended?

My lips trembled and I felt a phantom blade slice clean into my heart. Slow, a chill spread from the metal that did not exist, and I could not face myself. I could not return to my own room. I could not face my past, to see what I had been, and how that had changed.

The Liara of before had never used biotics save to ward off wild animals on faraway digs. She had never held a weapon with any familiarity, nor chosen violence as a recourse. That same asari did not exist now. I had broken the bones of an asari commando without thought. I had cast her from my gates and let her lie in the dark, suffering, in pain, perhaps not even living any longer.

Once, I might have felt compassion. Once, I might have known regret. But not now. I turned from the staircase and walked further into the house, to the back, where a locked door protected Benezia's private rooms. A simple hack and the door opened and I stepped through, turning on the light with a command.

I stumbled and clutched the wall, thrown back by the sculpture standing in the back of the room. It was not the eclectic lines of the statue that moved me, nor the skill of the craftsman who had created it. Instead, the shock lay in the pure silver sheen of the sculpture, a color that reminded me of eyes that same hue. Eyes that flared with passion, that sang with grief, that glittered with the promise of damnation for the evil of the world.

I closed my eyes, remembering how Serena's gaze could wrap around me, isolate me in the galaxy, until she and I were alone and together against the world. I bit my lip as I imagined the heat of her hand resting against my skin, over my heart, absorbing its beat and luxuriating in the melody. How she would look at me with wonder in her liquid silver eyes, cherishing me as a singular good in her tragedy-littered life. How I had felt warm, safe, and whole in her presence with our bodies pressed together, our lips locked in concert.

"Why?" I whispered to the cold of my mother's room. "Why did you leave me?"

I received no answer. I searched, believing that our love, though new, had been strong enough to call her back to me across time and space. I believed that I would see her again, as she and I had seen Avi Rivera.

Until then…I grabbed the coverlet from my mother's bed and flung it over the sculpture, unable to look at the color of my lover's eyes, unable to be near a reminder of her absence.

But it became worse when I turned to the bed. The sheets were silk, a rich, sinful cloth that Benezia had adored, an export from Earth…another connection to the human whom I loved. But it was the color that screamed at me, more painful than the silver of the sculpture. The silk had been dyed deep crimson, the color of human blood, the color that had covered my hands as I held my lover after the Battle of the Citadel. Rich, decadent, evocative.

Without thinking, I shed my clothes and crawled beneath the sheets, ignoring the heat of the room, for it reminded me of Serena's warmth. I wrapped myself tight in the color of blood, inhaling the faint scent of valendria flowers, Benezia's favored fragrance. I clutched a crimson pillow and pulled it tight against me, pressing it against my breasts, attempting to soothe my longing, exhausted body. The smell of flowers vanished, replaced in my mind by the heavy scent of copper and salt…the distinct odor of human blood.

I found it comforting. Serena had shown me a darker world. But she had been in that world, a light, a force, a sacrifice. She had bled for this galaxy…and I could not bleed for her. But I could sleep amidst the shades of her blood…a rich gift. A blessing.

For the first time in more than a day, I closed my eyes and let exhaustion take me.

"Liara?" I hear a voice, so sweet, so soft, so longed for. "Liara." a warm hand on my shoulder, callused fingers playing along my crest. "Wake up, álainn anam."

I open my eyes and feel a slow, sedate smile spread across my lips. I look into beautiful silver eyes, basking in the sense of awe they still hold within them, close to their carefully guarded heart. I reach out and run my fingers through the flaming strands of tousled hair that obscure Serena's features.

"Are you real?" I ask.

Her brow creases, making the scar across her face ripple. "Of course I'm real, sweetheart." she reaches up and rests her hand against my forehead. "Are you feeling all right?"

I sit up in the bed, pressing my fingers against my closed eyes, attempting to remember what had been so troubling. She had pulled me from a place of darkness, a place of horror and fear and grief…a world where she did not exist.

"I…I do not know." I answer, reaching out, feeling her fingers lace with mine and ground me in the waking world. "I believe I was dreaming."

"Yeah?" she sits up as well, wrapping her legs about me, pulling me back against the heat of her naked body, the slight swell of her breasts. "Good dreams? Bad ones? Are your nightmares getting worse?"

I sigh and lean back against her shoulder, turning my face into her neck, smelling the dusky salt scent of her skin. She is always worried when I wake from nightmares of Feros, Noveria, Virmire…that last fateful confrontation on the Citadel. I know that the dreams haunt her as well; I have held her after she awakens, feeling the tremors of her muscles, hearing her rasping, panting breaths. I have been bruised in the night when she lashes out, unconscious of her actions.

"This one was new." I reply. "I dreamed…I dreamed that you were gone."

Her arms around me tighten and she presses a kiss to my forehead. "I'm here." she says, and her voice is a promise that can never be broken, because her word is the strength of her resolve. Her strength is the sort that can bear a galaxy to safety.

Yes. An inner voice comforts me. She is here. With you. Safe. Nothing can assail you here. No harm can come.

{Hey, commander.} Joker's voice echoes over the speaker {There's a ship on our radar. Can't get a read on it.}

"Roger that, Joker." the timbre of her voice vibrates through my skin and it is soothing. "I'll be down in just a second."

With a second brief kiss she untangles herself from me and throws on a sports bra and her favorite black t-shirt with the N7 insignia imprinted over her left breast. As she pulls up her cargo pants and belts them, the ship shudders.

{Shots fired!} Joker shouts over the PA. {I repeat, shots fired! Brace for evasive maneuvers!}

I roll out of the bed and pull my clothes on as Shepard shouts orders. The ship shakes again and Shepard rushes for the door. I follow her, losing my balance and falling as she enters the elevator to the CIC and the doors close behind her. My heart flutters in my chest and pain slices through me as I get to my feet and slam the elevator doors, forcing them to open, wondering where I have felt this before…where I have known this panic and this dread, this cold gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach.

The elevator doors break under the force of my biotics and the ship bucks as it is struck once more. The jolt throws me through the broken doors and I cry out as I fall through the shaft and land on top of the elevator. I struggle to breathe, to right myself as the ship continues to shake under the onslaught of our as yet unseen enemy.

I reach for the hatch to enter the elevator and tear it open, dropping to the bottom and landing harder than I wish. I begin to get to my feet, stopping as the sight before me rips my heart open.

Shepard lays on the elevator floor, propped up in the corner, one hand clutching the piece of metal protruding from her stomach. Her silver eyes are wide, her legs trembling, her breath coming in stuttering spurts.

"No." I breathe, kneeling beside her, removing the hand that would attempt to pull the shrapnel from her body. "No no no no no no no no. Serena," I use my free hand to turn her eyes to mine, "Serena, stay with me." I beg, surrounded by the scent of smoke and blood.

"Li…ara…" she gasps, and droplets of red fleck her lips. "The…hell…h'ppened?"

"Lie still." I whisper, harsh. "I've got to get Chakwas."

"No." Serena reaches out, her fingers grazing my sleeve. "Ship…not…safe…"

I see the elevator doors are buckled, damaged, and sheared. A piece of that metal is embedded in my lover's body, killing her. I coil my biotics in my fist, ready to break these doors open as well and get Shepard the help she so desperately needs.

"That doesn't matter." I tell her. "I am not going to let you die."

"Yes." I turn my head and look at her, wondering what she means. "Yes…" she coughs and blood slides in a thick line from the corner of her mouth, "…you…are…"