Thessia

Sen looked at the sunlight peering through the tall windows of her borrowed room. It did not seem right that the sun should be shining. Not in light of what had happened to the woman she loved. Not in light of the memories...nightmares...she could see inside Liara's eyes. Without thinking, the cardiologist rose from the bed and pulled the dark, heavy curtains across the window, eliminating the sunlight.

Darkness is nothing to be feared, Sen remembered her mother's words from when she had been but a child. Even light gets tired and needs its rest.

The words had been simple to the child's mind, to the fear in her heart of the unseen and the unknown. Now, they rang with deeper wisdom, a wisdom with which Sen could translate Liara's story. The archaeologist had stood beside, been part and parcel with, the light of the galaxy. That light had not been allowed to rest, had not been given the time to adjust and process. It had been forced to keep shining, and Liara with it.

Therefore it came as no surprise, to Sen, that when the light had gone out, darkness had swallowed Liara whole. Even now, recalling what had happened centuries ago, her friend's hands shook, her eyes filled with tears that did not fall. Her regret for that time was clear, and Sen believed she had not yet heard the worst of it. Still, Liara's tale of her journey into the void struck Sen's heart with something akin to jealousy. The fearlessness of Liara's search, her boldness in the face of the attack by the Blue Suns, her confrontation with The Illusive Man, and with Aria T'Loak, still reigning Queen of Omega.

Sen had wished for that manner of boldness on so many occasions. Her professional life had often required it, but she had failed herself too many times, taking orders that made no sense, shouldering the burden of her colleague's disdain. Her initial love of her work, of mending hearts and saving lives, had been colored and tainted by her lack of self-defense. It had become so much a burden, and less a gift.

And my weakness is what tore me from Mira, Sen thought, grief striking her anew as she thought of her lover, fighting for her life all alone on a foreign planet. I left her for my work on a consistent basis, attempting to earn favor that never arrived…that I might have been given if I had one ounce of the courage Liara possesses. The courage to say no when necessary…to earn respect instead of hoping that one day it will be given.

A wave of self-loathing swept over the doctor and she sat back down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Sen's eyes turned to Liara and she nearly began to weep at the look of compassion in the older asari's gaze.

"It is not something to be admired, Sen." Liara spoke and Sen's eyes flared with shock as her friend seemed to read her mind.

"Courage is always worthy of admiration, Liara." Sen replied, her tone gentle, her mind still berating herself for her lack of bravery.

"Yes, it is." Liara agreed. "But what I showed in that time was the furthest thing from true courage. All I had within me was rage, grief, and my thoughts, which would turn from hate to love in the span of a second. I had no desire to face those emotions and thus they burst forth from me in obscene shows of brutality and bravado that should have gotten me killed. I was like a firework…an impressive flash of sparks and power that frightened and protected. But it faded in an instant, and left me once more in the black."

"Then what do you consider courage?" Sen asked. "Because taking a stand cannot simply be bravado. Fighting for something that you love must come from something deeper than rage. Especially given the scope of those you were working with and against."

Liara looked down at the comforter, tracing the intricate sworls of the pattern with her fingertips. Her eyes closed and Sen saw a shadow cross her face, a shadow that made her look young, vulnerable, but possessed of such beauty that it caused Sen's heart pain.

It is no wonder that Shepard loved her, Sen thought to herself. She is so passionate, so wise, so caring. Even the hardest of hearts would break from seeing the depth of hers.

"Courage is something achieved with wisdom." Liara answered after a long pause. "It is not the ability to pull the trigger, because any coward will fight for his life. It is not bravado in the face of those more powerful, because any braggart can be brash and insouciant. Courage," Liara looked up, her blue eyes glimmering with memory and a power that transcended any physical force, "is being able to look at yourself without shame and without fear. It is holstering the weapon you hold because you do not fear your enemy. Courage is, not only understanding mercy, but extending it. Courage is the endurance of mockery and the clinging to the truth, no matter how ridiculous it might seem." Liara smiled, soft and gentle. "It is the ability to forgive, Sen. It is being at peace with peace itself, yet knowing and accepting that it might fall apart at any moment."

A single tear, like a drop of blood, slipped from Liara's eye. Sen watched as it traced down the asari's cheek. She wanted to wipe it away, to erase the pain it represented, to comfort the hurt that it carried from Liara's soul. But she did not, because Liara seemed so untouchable in this moment. Sen had never witnessed grief carried with such grace, and burdens borne with Liara's immense clarity and calm. The fact that the elder asari grieved for the centuries past only indicated and solidified her strength.

"Courage," Liara continued, as though she needed to finish this thought, as though it were paramount above all else, "is looking into the eyes of love and still being able to whisper that it is time. Courage is turning from heaven and walking into hell. I know that now…but I did not know it then. I had thought that nothing could take Serena from me, because she was so powerful. At that time, I did not realize that power had many definitions."

"Oh?" Sen asked, muted but intrigued.

"Yes." Liara reached up and brushed her tear away with an elegant hand. "Aria T'Loak is very powerful, but when she dies, there will be a whisper of relief through the galaxy. This is true of many of the powerful in this galaxy, because they are feared, or because they are unknown. I would know this, because I am one of those with that manner of power."

Shock filled Sen's eyes, but she said nothing. She could see that, in certain moments, Liara inspired fear. She knew that the archaeologist had killed, both in battle and in cold blood. She did not know how Liara had acquired the information that she had, but she could see something in Liara's eyes that unnerved her. And it was the power that she spoke of. The secret menace that hovered just out of the reach of exposure and comprehension.

"That manner of power is transient and temporary." Liara went on. "Because it dies with the person who holds it. But true greatness, true power," her eyes sparked with life and the ghosts of memories and longing, "transcends the small word we give to describe it. When one who holds true power falls…even their enemies mourn."