Its been 84 years...
Santana slithered away from the kitchen and stealthily made her way back to her room, putting as much distance as humanly possible between herself and the sickening situation that was currently transpiring in the dining room.
She could hear Schue's maniacal laugh and the light clink of glasses touching each other.
Dinner had been amusing to say the least. Her mom had been excited. Rachel was being Rachel. Puck was just hungry and still buzzing from the Ohio State game. William was being lame. The adults spent the entire first part reminiscing about their old, glory high school days. It was like a Nick at Night family sitcom on crack.
This whole 'rekindling their friendship deal', maybe moving onto something more, didn't sit well with the older brunette.
As she pounded up the stairs she heard Rachel's soft tone, her mothers obnoxious cackle and Noah's low rumbling boom. It's not that she hated Schue either. He just annoyed her. She couldn't put her finger on it, but seeing his face, that smile, the hair! The pounds of gel and hairspray that that man must use everyday alone, single-handedly contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer one freaking little fro curl at a time. He put way too much effort in appearance.
Yeah she couldn't ignore the fact that her mom did seem happy...but she just didn't get it. Clearly they were on the opposite sides of the fence here.
Clearly.
Whatever.
She had excused herself from the dinner table after that last lame joke Schue snorted in between dessert and reached her room in record time.
The second her bedroom door closed, Santana dove for the bed and plopped onto her stomach, quickly pulling out her phone, desperate fingers flying over the screen.
The response was almost instantaneous. The warm feeling that settled inside her belly caused her to grin even wider as the chime of her phone alerted her to the incoming message. The name flashing in front of her screen.
So how did it go?!
Fanfuckingtastic
The little conversation bubbles kept spasming.
That bad?
Schuester was sharing air in front of me...
He shared his air?
It was horrible
But sharing is caring
No...
So he was nice?
NVM
I don't wanna talk about Schue anyway.
...
OK. ur bro looked like he had fun today. Everybody was at that game. Quinn went 2
Yeah she was there with her fam. They ran into her.
I wanna go 2 next time
Def. So what r you doing?
Texting you. :)
And I was thinking bout what u said earlier.
Can't stop thinking bout it actually
...
Her heart began pounding, she could feel it in her ears, she could hear it way too loud, hammering away like an incessant knock.
The actual knock on the door made Santana jump and she inwardly groaned as she clicked her phone off and propped herself up on her elbows.
"Yeah?"
The door creaked open and Puck poked his head in, a mischievous grin resting on his face.
"What!?"
"Claws away Satan. It's just me." He closed the door shut behind him and strolled into the room,"Whatcha doing?"
"Nothing." Santana snapped.
"So? What did you think?" The grin never left his face.
"What do you mean, what did I think? About what?!" She had honestly completely forgotten about the dinner, the panicky sensation that settled just inside her chest moments before had erased all coherent thoughts, rendering her utterly clueless to what her annoying brother was asking.
"Dam San, come on. What's up with you?" Puck pushed the pile of clothes off Santana's swivel chair and spun around to face his sister, "Why are you so mad? Is it really that bad seeing mom happy?"
Realization hit the brunette in the face.
Oh that!
She really didn't want to be having this conversation right now, let alone any. There were more pressing matters she had to deal with. But the way Noah was looking at her, boring his eyes into hers, searching her face, digging. She knew he wouldn't stop until she spoke and gave him what he was looking for.
"He irritates me." She whipped out a quick answer as she sat up and crossed her legs, stealthily flipping over her phone to peek at the screen, the little bubbles taunting her, "I know mom's happy. There's something about him. I can't explain it. But it's just...arghh you know?!"
Her phone buzzed and it took everything in her to resist answering back. She felt her brother bore his eyes into the electronic device that was burning a hole in her hand, but she played it off.
"You mean his hair?" Puck picked up one of the perfume bottles off her vanity and took a giant whiff, scrunching his face in disgust.
"The hair." Santana placed her phone underneath her leg and began ticking off her fingers, "The face. The voice. He's too nice."
"Too nice!?" Puck burst out laughing.
The brunette watched as he picked up another glass bottle and uncapped it. "This smells like Grandma Silvie."
"Well maybe because she bought that one for me genius."
Puck hissed, mimicking Santana's attitude.
She actually laughed, "Catty looks good on you Noella."
"Oh stop" Puck waved his hand in a feminine way, glad to see some of the steam roll off of his sister as he made her crack a smile.
"You have really nice nails."
"Okay, you don't have to take it that far." Puck lowered his hand and flexed his muscles for good measure.
"No," Santana snickered, "Like, for real. The cuticle part. If only you'd stop chewing on them-"
"Chill with the culito shit."
"Cuticle. You totally should have gone with us to get manis instead."
"And miss out on all the college babes?! Psht funny."
"Hey, you never finished telling me what happened at the stadium earlier." The brunette pulled her hair up and tied it in a messy bun.
Puck's brows knit together and he swiveled away from the glass bottles, "How well do you know Quinns dad?"
"Russell?" The brunette leaned back and relaxed on her elbows. "Well first of all, I don't even think he knows my name and I'm one of his daughters best friend. That should tell you a lot right there."
Puck snorted.
"I mean, I don't really know him. He's never around actually. Whenever I'm over there, he's always either away on business or in the middle of some phone call or something in his office. Judy on the other hand. That's a whole other story. Why?"
"Does he have a problem with you? Russell I mean?" Noah leaned forward, all defensive.
Santana frowned and tilted her head to the side, "Not that I know of. Like I said he doesn't really know me...why?" She observed her brother carefully and squinted her eyes as he relaxed his tense shoulders and bit the inside of his cheek.
"Your little friend, Quinn-"
Knock knock.
"What are we doing!?" Rachel poked her head inside the room.
The two glanced at the door. Santana took this brief interruption to stealthily check her texts and felt her stomach bottom out when she saw two giant paragraphs displayed on the screen.
"WE aren't doing anything. I'm talking with San. You're interrupting midget."
"Ha ha very funny." Rachel stuck out her chin, marched into the room and threw herself across the older girls bed. She rolled onto her back, tucked her arms behind her head and glanced back and forth between her siblings.
"Schue's really nice isn't he?"
Puck shook his head and grinned, "Brace yourself midge."
Santana grabbed her pillow and smashed it over Rachel.
"You wanna hit her or should I?" Santana ducked out of the way of Rachel's flailing arms, poking the smaller girl in the sides.
"Stop! No tickling please!" Rachel had managed to squirm her way half off the bed.
"Leave her alone San," Puck laughed, "For the record, I'm with you on this one, Rach. I don't think he's bad at all."
"Alright that's it. The both of you. OUT!" Santana jammed her finger in the direction of her door.
"Why?!" Rachel flipped onto the floor and sat right in the middle of the room, between the swivel chair and the big red bed.
"Apparently Schue's 'too nice'" Puck burped extra loud and rubbed his stomach, leaning all the way back in the chair.
"That's disgusting. No passing gas in my room."
He added an extra burp just for that.
"Santana you can't be serious? Too nice?" Rachel chose to ignore the belching, "Is that even possible? How can someone be too nice?!"
"I can't deal with someone like that. See, you two could. That's why, you two, are the way you are."
Rachel frowned, "What's that supposed to mean? How am I?"
"That's why you're the way you are!" Puck laughed and Santana shook her head in defiance, ready to defend her claim.
"He's too nice. No one is that nice. It's irritating. Either he's hiding something or he needs to grow a pair."
"Santana, are you telling me then, that you wouldn't want to be with someone romantically if they are too nice?" Rachel squinted her eyes, desperately trying to crack the code that unlocked her older sisters brain.
"Yeah, you want a guy whose an asshole?" Puck leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.
"Noah, no. Don't get any ideas! Women want someone respectable, not an a-hole. Remember you have two sisters and a mother." Rachel scolded.
"I'm saying," Santana moved her hands around, animatedly explaining, "I wouldn't want someone who always acted nice. There is no such thing. That's just fake. It's bullshit."
"No swearing" Rachel mumbled and the older two completely ignored her and kept talking.
"Nice isn't real. Nice isn't genuine. I want someone real."
"So you'd prefer Mom go out with someone who isn't 'nice'? Someone who doesn't ask about her day or shows even an ounce of interest in her kids?"
"Someone like dad?" Both girls whipped their heads around to face their brother.
"That's not what I'm saying," Santana growled.
"Girls are so dam confusing."
"I don't think I completely agree with you on this one Santana." The youngest in the room shook her head and folded her legs.
"Yeah well what are you, like twelve?" Santana rolled her eyes.
Rachel's mouth hung open and she gasped rather dramatically, "I'm fourteen! About to turn fifteen thank you very much."
Santana smirked and sat up straighter, "Anyway, my mexican third eye is never wrong. Its just... Its hard to explain."
"Santana...we aren't even Mexican." Rachel turned to Noah, looking for approval and pounded her fist into his outstretched one, causing the brunette on the bed to roll her eyes even further and scowl in their direction.
"Can your mexican third eye explain this?" Puck raised a leg and the sound that came out of his body, accompanied by the smell, sent Rachel running from the room.
"NOAH! THAT'S REPULSIVE!"
"Eww!"
Santana leapt off her bed, palms outstretched, arms ready to swing, as Puck roared with laughter.
"Alright, alright im leaving." He ducked, barely missing the slap to his shoulder, "You can go back to texting your boyfriend now." He managed to close the door before the pillow assaulted him. He almost missed the red tint that stained his sisters cheeks as she yelled out, "I don't have a boyfriend!"
Santana stood in the middle of the room, heart pounding, mind completely overtaken by the unread texts, when the door opened to just a slit, "Tell Jew Fro im looking forward to officially welcoming him into the family."
"Fucking nasty! Don't insult me like that Noella."
The door closed and she pulled the phone close to her chest, ready to read the messages, when the door opened once more.
"I'll find out who it is and if it's anyone from the hockey team I swear I'll-"
"Close my door NOAH!"
A/N: Is there anyone alive out there!?