Jacob awoke feeling, well, not refreshed, but he knew he would after his morning routine. He pulled the torn and tattered sheets off, then stood from his bed that was far to small for him, his feet touched the ground, but they recoiled nearly immediately.

"Ick. Cold," he mumbled softly before putting them back down onto the cold flooring. He stood, the shorts he'd been wearing in his sleep falling past his knees from where they'd been bunched up near his upper thighs.

He yawned and stretched, popping the strained muscles in his back and neck. He drug his feet toward the bathroom. His eyes caught his own eyes in the mirror and he shot himself a cocky grin.

"Todays the day Jake, you're gonna get the girl." He took a few deep breaths and rolled his shoulders before pulling his toothbrush from its holder. He grabbed his mint toothpaste and popped the cap with his thumb.

It popped with an echoing 'click'. He carefully squeezed the tube aimed at the head of his toothbrush and...nothing happened.

He frowned slightly and squeezed a little harder but still nothing happened.

"What the hell!" Jacob shouted loudly in frustration.

"Language Jacob!" Came the reply of his father from somewhere else in the house.

He muttered and squeezed as hard as he could but still nothing came out, "I am a Chief's grandson!" He grunted out.

He sighed before he stopped squeezing and he raised it to his eye.

The toothpaste took this as an opportunity to escape and shot into his eye. Jacob dropped the tube of toothpaste into the sink and gave an ear splitting wolfly yelp.

In a moment's time his father had knocked the door open and was looking at him in complete confusion.

"What's wrong son?"

"Toothpaste...! Eye!" Jacob gritted out while trying to wash his eye out.

"That's it? Pssh, why when I was your age...," Billy Black began to ramble on about a story from his youth regarding him and a rambunctious Charlie Swan getting into trouble. Something involving a live trout, two bras, a clown, and a bullfrog. "...and did we complain? No!"

Jacob stared at his father in silence while holding his eye.

"Anyway, let me see it son," Billy motioned for Jacob to remove his hand from his eye. His eye was extremely bloodshot and swollen.

"Ah, you'll live," Billy chuckled and wheeled himself to another room before shouting at Jacob to eat something. Jacob mumbled quietly before putting down his toothbrush and putting the toothpaste on the counter, "I'll come back for you later."

Quietly he walked into his room and slid off his shorts. He walked over to his closet and dove deep looking for his hidden items. He pulled out the black fabric and smiled to himself. With a grin he slid on the skin tight clothing.

He stepped back and admired himself for a moment.

"Alright Jacob, warm up," he smiled and started stretching before moving into the first pose. A few minutes in and he was really into his poses and stretches.

"Jacob did you go e-," his father barged in on him mid pose and froze upon seeing him. There was a moment of silence before...

"Ahhh!" Jacob yelled and quickly covered his chest as though he had something to cover.

"Ahhh!" His father's eyes widened in surprise at Jacob's yell and he yelled back at him.

"Ahhhh!"

"Ahhhh!"

"Dad get out!" Jacob finally yelled before rushing toward the door.

"Wait are those yoga pa-," the door slammed shut with a confused Billy Black behind it. Jacob sighed and went into the bathroom. He washed his face because it was hot from embarrassment. He let out a another sigh before going back into his room and dressing in shoes and a sleeveless shirt with shorts.

He walked casually into the kitchen like nothing had happened but sighed in relief when he found his father wasn't to be found.

"There are pop tarts in the cupboard!" He heard the shout from the living room and he threw his fist up in victory.

"Yes," he mumbled and checked the cupboard but found only the dreaded Cherry pop tarts.

"Dad! There's no brown sugar ones?" He shouted.

"No I got your favorite! Cherry!" His father shouted back.

"That's your favorite!"

There was a long silence before an, "Oh yeah," and a low chuckle.

Jacob sighed and took a package of pop tarts and tore them open. He stuck them in the toaster and pressed down the lever. They popped after a minute and he pulled them out, expecting them to be at least somewhat warm but frowned when he found them as cold as when he'd put them in.

He heaved a deep sigh and put them back in and pressed back on the lever. When they popped back up he grabbed them. They burned his hand terribly and he let out a small yelp and droppedthe scalding hot pop tart. He stared at his violently red hand with a whimper. It should heal soon but his pride was hurt.

Could this day get any worse?

Of course his father failed to tell him of the tear in his shorts that revealed that Jacob was going commando on the basis that, 'Eh, he'll figure it out.'

He didn't figure it out.

He didn't figure it out on his way down the path to the woods or on his run through it to Sam's house.

Nor did he figure it out when his pack mates laughed their asses off at him.

No, it wasn't until Leah stopped and asked him, "Jacob, I know it's time consuming to have to take off your shorts to drop a deuce. But no one wants to see it."

Jacob cocked his head in confusion, "What?"Leah rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand and put it on his ass where he felt the large hole in his shorts. His eyes widened and his cheeks reddened (the ones on his face) and he ran out of there so fast he was gone before Embry could open his eyes after blinking.

As he ran through the door, he caught a glimpse of Charlie and Bella inside. He stopped for a second and stared at Bella before smiling like a dope, "Hey Bells."

"Hey Jake. In a hurry? I thought maybe we could hangout. Edward went...out with his brothers," Bella glanced at Charlie for a moment before giving an obvious look at Jacob.

"I'm sure Jacob would love to hangout with you. As soon as he changes his shorts," Billy said and Jacob 'huh'd' and turned around exposing his ass to them and gasped when he remembered his shorts had a hole. He'd never been so embarrassed in his life. He ran to his room as the laughter of Billy and Charlie rang out.

And Jacob was never the same again.