AN: Wow! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited, or followed the story. I appreciate the warm welcome into the HTTYD fandom. 3 In answer to some questions from the reviews: 1) I don't know how I'll be publishing these - maybe one at a time, maybe more. It depends on how much I get to write! 2) No, I'm not finished. When I am, the story would be marked as "complete". 3) I am writing more Hiccstrid stories. I have one on the go right now, I just don't want to post anything yet. I want to make sure I know where I'm going with it first. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own How to Train Your Dragon or any of the associated characters or settings.

She was nineteen and he was twenty. Everything was different now. After months of struggle between Hiccup and Stoick; after months of Hiccup's Map of the Known World Expansion Project; after years of thinking that his mother was dead – it was all different now and Astrid didn't really know where she fit.

Well, she knew where she fit. She knew how her head fit against his shoulder. She knew how her waist fit against the curve of his inner elbow. She knew how her lips fit against his. But where did she fit in this new Berk? Where did she fit in the Chiefdom of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III?

Hiccup was different, too. He kept himself busy; almost too busy. He stretched himself to his limit when dealing with the problems of the tribe. He was trying so hard to fill in the blanks that Valka's absence over the past twenty years had left in his life. Valka was trying, too - trying to make it up to him, trying to mother him. Astrid found their interactions painful to watch. There was love there – real love – but Hiccup didn't know how to have a mother and Valka didn't know how to be a mother. They spent most of their time flying on Cloudjumper and Toothless.

Then there was Astrid. By the time Hiccup had time for Astrid, he was exhausted. Most of the time, he fell asleep in her arms as they lay in the damp grass on their cliff (Hiccup had renamed it on the map – Mount Ascup). He'd all but abandoned the Dragon Academy, leaving the study plans and training sessions entirely in Astrid's hands. She was glad for Fishlegs, glad that he was willing to help her with the Academy. But she missed Hiccup. As good as she was, as good as Fishlegs was, Hiccup was better. Valka held a wealth of knowledge about dragons, but Hiccup brushed off any suggestion of Valka teaching in the Academy. He was too busy learning what he could from her to be willing to share her with the rest of them.

The truth was, it was starting to get on Astrid's nerves. And not only his selfish hold on his long-lost mother, but all of it. The way he was so doggedly avoiding the real issues. The way he was so doggedly avoiding her. She had known that when Hiccup became Chief, things would be different. She had known that he would be busy in a way that neither of them could have comprehended. She had known she would have to move aside, she'd have to share him with the rest of the Hairy Hooligan tribe. She'd known all this, but she hadn't expected it to happen so soon.

No one had expected Stoick to die. No one had expected Toothless to have been the cause. At the head of all these people was Hiccup and Astrid knew – she knew – that he hadn't grieved properly. And despite everything that Toothless had done to save Berk, Astrid knew that Hiccup hadn't forgiven the dragon. Not fully. Toothless knew it, too. It was in the way Hiccup spoke to him, handled him, rode him. He was building a wall between himself and Toothless and this, above all else, disturbed Astrid most.

She'd asked Hiccup to carve out an hour for her. She'd asked him to meet her at the Academy. She'd asked him to come alone. As she waited, Astrid ran her hand along Stormfly's bright blue scales. Stormfly swayed happily beside her and Astrid thought of Toothless and Hiccup. She thought of their bond, forged first by necessity and later strengthened with trust and loyalty. It wasn't different from her bond with Hiccup, not really. He'd needed her to believe in him and she'd need not to fall out of that tree. He'd needed her not to tell his father about the nest and his will, his determination, and his dedication to a dragon had swayed her heart. She'd trusted him and it had felt as natural as swinging a battle axe. As though she had always been looking for a reason to trust him. To believe in him.

Now, though, things were different. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It was more that he seemed to be losing trust in himself. It was as though losing trust in Toothless was decaying his sense of self. And she couldn't watch it. He could avoid her. He could spend all his time with Valka. He could spend all his time trying to right the wrongs of the village. But none of that would change what was happening in his heart. None of that would fix the fraying bond between him and Toothless.

Toothless landed with the soft, silent precision that he always had. Hiccup didn't say anything in word of greeting as he climbed off of Toothless. Astrid watched him pat Toothless' nose, but it felt forced. It felt like he did it out of obligation. She didn't miss the reproachful look on Toothless' face. The dragon knew he was not yet forgiven. Astrid wondered if Hiccup knew that he hadn't forgiven him yet. She wondered how long he would walk around in this daze of grief if she let him.

Hiccup walked toward her with a determined stride. He caught her chin with his fingers and tilted her face up into a kiss. It was brisk and hard, a greeting without any feeling. Astrid frowned at him.

"What's going on, Astrid?" he asked without looking at her. In fact, he was looking everywhere but at her.

Astrid rolled her eyes, sighed loudly and crossed her arms across her chest. She glared at him until he finally looked at her, frowning slightly.

"What?" he asked.

"You need to stop all of this," she said, gesturing at the length of his body with her hands.

He looked down at himself. "You just gestured to all of me."

"Yes, exactly," she said.

"Okay, well, I thought I was past that point in my life," he said wryly.

"Oh, you were, but now? I'm not so sure."

"What are you talking about? Astrid, I don't have time for this."

"That's exactly it, Hiccup! You don't have time for anything," Astrid said, throwing her arms up in the air.

The dragons startled at that. Stormfly and Toothless watched them closely, unable to determine what it was they were supposed to be doing when Astrid and Hiccup disagreed. How did they divide their loyalties? Did they have to? They both opted to stay where they were and watch.

"Look," he said, holding up his hands as though he were trying to tame a dragon, "If this is about us, if I'm not-"

"Don't. Just don't. Anything you say right now about us is not going to help. This isn't about us," Astrid said, her voice deathly calm, "Look at Toothless."

Hiccup glanced over his shoulder at the Night Fury, confusion crossing his features.

"What about him?"

"No, Hiccup. Look at him."

Astrid walked up to Hiccup and turned his shoulders, twisting him to look at Toothless.

"And what exactly am I looking for?" Hiccup asked, his voice weary.

Astrid looked up at his profile. He was still Hiccup. His mouth was still in that stubborn line. His face was the same; she could draw him in lines and curves and never get him right. There was still a heart of a dragon pumping in his chest. He still had bravery and cunning and intelligence in his soul. But his eyes, his eyes were harder than they should be. His eyes were unseeing.

"You've never needed to ask that before," she said softly.

His hard glance touched her face, but only for a second, then his eyes were locked on Toothless. His face softened and Toothless watched him with an expression that Astrid could only describe as hopeful jubilation. As though he knew that Hiccup was finally looking at him; looking at his best friend and not just seeing the dragon who'd killed his father.

"Toothless," he practically whispered.

Astrid stood back as Hiccup walked up to Toothless. She watched from the distance as he knelt down in front of the dragon, murmuring something she couldn't hear. His arms were around Toothless' head, Toothless responding by knocking Hiccup to the ground and licking his face. Hiccup's laughter filled the arena and Astrid felt the tell-tale pinprick of tears in her eyes. She'd been worried she'd never hear it again.

Hiccup tilted his head back to look at her from the ground.

"Astrid, thank you."

She knelt next to him and patted Toothless, earning a sloppy lick in response. "You're not alone, Hiccup. You have friends. Don't shut yourself off to us."

Hiccup reached for her hand and twined his fingers in between hers, still lying flat on his back.

"It's been hard, you know? With my dad… And Toothless."

"It wasn't his fault."

"I know. I know that. But maybe it was mine. Maybe I should never have brought dragons to Berk. Maybe I should never have tried to take on Drago."

Astrid disentangled her hand from his and ran her fingers along his jaw. "'Maybe' is a coward's diversion, Hiccup. Maybe I should have killed Toothless that night. Maybe I should have turned you in. Maybe I should have stopped you from trying to take on Drago. 'Maybe', Hiccup, doesn't and will never change the facts."

Toothless flattened his head against Hiccup's chest and Hiccup's hands went up effortlessly, without any thought, to stroke him. The sight of it made Astrid's heart swell in her chest.

"Despite everything," he said so softly that Astrid had to strain to hear it, "I don't regret any of it."

"Start acting like it, then," Astrid said lightly, gently thumping her fist against his forehead.

Hiccup looked up into her face and smiled. "What would I do without you?"

"Probably something stupid."

"Definitely something crazy."

"Good thing I like crazy."

"Good thing I love you," Hiccup said, kissing her fingers. Toothless growled happily against his chest.