Another long chapter. Hope you enjoy it!
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"Jack, would you like to come inside? I feel like I owe you something for all you've done," understatement of the year, Ianto thought. "And I was thinking maybe I could cook you dinner...?" He immediately realised that this was a terrible idea. Jack had already spent most of his Saturday with him, it was absurd to take up more of his time. He should just leave if for another day. And then he would be able to prepare himself better. Maybe even come up with something decent to say to him. He tried to quickly correct the situation. "No, never mind, you're probably tired, and you must have plans. I'll just-"
Jack interrupted before Ianto could say anything else. "I'd love to. Not that I think you actually owe me anything, but we did miss the meal we were supposed to have today. I was actually looking forward to that lunch, to have the chance to spend time with you outside the lessons, so you could see I'm not so bad."
"Oh, God, Jack, no, I-"
Jack interrupted him again. "Come on, let's go inside. I'm getting quite hungry." He flashed Ianto his radiant smile, dazing him briefly. After that, Ianto couldn't even think of arguing any more. Which would have been moot anyway, because Jack was already leaving the car.
Ianto hurried to catch up with him. As soon as he was out, Jack locked the car while already moving towards the front door. He was clearly not giving Ianto a chance to change his mind. Ianto hurried again, so he could open the door to the building.
"So, what are you gonna cook for me?" Jack asked while they climbed the stairs to the third floor.
"Well, you're in luck, because I wanted to treat myself to something nice, so I happen to have all the necessary ingredients to make my favourite, which is also my speciality."
"Hmm, that sounds interesting."
"You shouldn't really get your hopes up. It only means I'm certain it will be edible and won't give you food poisoning." Ianto said with a small smile.
Jack just laughed at that. "I'm sure it's going to be good. What is it?"
They'd reached Ianto's floor, and he was trying to find the right key to open the door.
"A good old Welsh cawl." He replied while opening the door. "My mam taught me when I was about to leave for Uni, so I wouldn't live primarily on sandwiches and pizza." He pushed the door open and let Jack inside first. "Which I still do."
Ianto got in, closed the door, took out his shoes and jacket. Jack followed.
"Make yourself at home. Would you like a beer?"
"Yeah, that would be nice, thanks."
Ianto moved towards the kitchen, while Jack looked around the living room. It was a very small flat, in a very simple building. The living room consisted of a two-seat couch, a small telly, and a tiny bookshelf, which held a few DVD's and some books. There wasn't space in the room for anything else. He assumed the rest of the flat would be the same. He figured it made sense, considering what Ianto had told him earlier. He clearly didn't have any money to spare, and had to live a simple life. Very simple, he would say, if a mere stew was considered something 'nice'. That made him remember their conversation, and he went into the kitchen to ask Ianto.
"Hey, you said you wanted to treat yourself earlier. What's the occasion?"
Ianto had his back turned, going through the fridge and the cupboards to get the beer and what he needed to cook. He started with Jack's sudden appearance. "Oh, it was nothing special, I just wanted something to compensate for-" He trailed back, realising what he was about to say, unable to cover the guilty, nervous look on his face. Jack gave him a questioning look.
"For...?" And then realisation dawned on him. It was a Saturday. The day of their lesson. He needed something to make the day he had to teach him better. And he felt awful. "Oh, God, Ianto. It was because of me, wasn't it?"
Ianto wanted to hide. He wanted a space ship to come to Earth and abduct him. That would be immensely better than to be in this position right now. All the guilt he was feeling earlier came back with full force. To have Jack realise, all on his own, how much the lessons had been bothering him was too much for him to take. He felt like the worst human being on the planet, especially because he was seeing the look of horror on Jack's face.
"My God, Ianto, I'm so sorry. I should've realised earlier. God, I had no idea this was having this effect on you. I'm so, so sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I'll find a way to give you other students, so you won't have to teach me any more. I swear, I'll do something." Jack said it all in one breath, barely giving Ianto a chance to react.
"No, Jack, please, stop-"
But he wasn't listening. He was already turning to leave the kitchen "I'm really sorry. I should go. I'm sorry for imposing on you and your family all afternoon. I feel terrible. I should've realised..." And he started to leave.
Ianto rushed to get to him, grabbing his arm, forcing him to stop and turn back.
"Jack, please! Listen to me!" He finally stopped and looked at Ianto, still looking horrified. Ianto stared back, trying to figure out what to say, now that he'd finally gotten the man to stop talking. He barely knew where to start. "Jack, please... Stop apologising. I... I was... wrong. I was wrong about you."
Jack stared at him, looking stunned. It seemed that he still wanted to bolt, and he still looked ashamed, as if what Ianto had said hadn't registered.
"Please, Jack, don't go. Just listen to me." Jack relaxed a bit, still looking stunned, but seeming to be slowly coming out of the daze he'd gotten in. Ianto thought it was safe to let go of his arm. "Please, take a sit." Ianto turned to get the beers. "There's a lot I need to say to you."
Now Jack just looked confused, but he was still too shocked to react, so he just did what Ianto told him. He sat down, and took a sip of the beer Ianto had just offered him. Ianto mirrored his actions.
He started after taking a deep breath. "Okay, I don't really know how to say it, but I know I have to. I don't even know where to start."
Jack was just staring at him, so he figured he could take his time. He tried to slowly organise his thoughts. He took another deep breath.
"I... I just... Today was..." God, why was this so hard? He looked at Jack, who was still staring at him, the confusion in his eyes growing. Come on, Ianto, get it together. Just say it already. "I realised today that I was completely wrong about you. I misjudged you, and I feel terrible about it. I've been completely unfair and I don't feel I deserve everything you did for me and my family today. I should be the one apologising, but I don't feel there are enough apologies in the world. You deserved a lot better than the way I've treated you."
Jack blinked, for what seemed like the first time in the past five minutes.
"Ummm... What?"
"You were wonderful today, Jack. I would never have expected anyone to be as helpful and supportive as you were, maybe not even my best friend. You barely know me, I'm just your tutor, and you spent your entire afternoon taking care of us. And you did such a good job, a lot better than I would've done if I'd been alone there. Not only you made it up to me for your previous behaviour – to which I now realise I completely overreacted, by the way – but I saw a side of you that is incredibly rare to find in anyone. I feel ridiculous for being so shallow, for sticking to this larger-than-life façade you show the world and not seeing the real, amazing man underneath. And the way I've treated you, it's appalling. I'm deeply embarrassed by that." He finally stopped to take a breath. He still felt like there weren't enough words in the world to make it right. He could talk until morning, and he would still feel awful.
"Ianto, I..." He paused, running a hand through his hair. "None of this is necessary. You were right to treat me the way you did, I was invading you. And about today... I just did the obvious. You and your family needed help and I was there to offer it. It didn't cost me anything. I hardly feel I deserve all this credit you're giving me."
"See, that's what makes you so special. You do something amazing, and you don't even notice, you think it's no big deal. Except no one else in your place would have bothered. You're not an insensitive jerk, and I should never have treated you like one, I should never have made you feel like one. You're the complete opposite, actually."
They were quiet for a while, apparently none of them knowing how to continue the conversation. Ianto still felt awful, feeling like nothing he could say would make it better, and Jack was having a really hard time digesting what Ianto had said. He almost felt like Ianto was talking of someone else. No one had ever said things like that to him, quite the contrary, actually. He felt like what Ianto had reacted to before wasn't a façade, it was his true self. At least that's how everyone, including himself, had always treated it. He was a flirt, who would never really care about anyone Couldn't care about anyone. But what Ianto was saying... He really hadn't given it a second thought. The minute he saw that Ianto needed help, he just offered it. That didn't make him special, did it? Was that really that rare? He tried to remember if he'd ever done anything like that before. Well, it's not as if he'd had much chance in the past, what with...
Ianto interrupted his thoughts.
"Well, I should start on dinner. You said you were hungry... You are staying, aren't you? Please?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm staying." Jack offered him a smile that didn't reach his eyes. He was still so confused about the whole situation, but he still wanted to spend some time with Ianto. If nothing else, maybe it would help him understand what the young man was thinking.
"Would you like another beer?"
Jack hadn't even noticed that he'd finished the first one, but another seemed extremely necessary at the moment.
"Yes, please."
Ianto got two more, and started going through cupboards again, getting the rest of the ingredients.
"Can I help you with anything?"
"No, you're my guest here. You're supposed to just sit back and relax." Ianto turned to look over his shoulder, smiling at Jack. He hadn't been convinced that what he'd done was okay, and he was determined to do something nice for Jack that night.
Jack shook his head to try and get rid of his thoughts. It wouldn't do for him to brood all night. Even if he didn't quite agree with what Ianto was saying, the man was trying to do something nice for him, and the least he could do was not to make things worse for him. If Ianto wanted him to relax and enjoy it, he would.
"I believe we were talking about your family when we were interrupted earlier." Jack said trying to lighten the mood and initiate conversation.
"And I believe it's your turn to tell me something about yourself." Ianto turned to look at him, favouring him with another smile. "You said you had a little brother?"
"Yeah, Gray. He's six years younger than me."
"You said you helped take care of him... Are you still close?"
"We used to be. All of us, we were a pretty tight family. We never had to hide anything from our parents, they were incredibly understanding and supportive, and we loved to do things together. Every weekend we would spend at least one whole day together, going out, playing games, sometimes just talking. We were very happy."
Ianto had already put the meat and onions to cook, and had moved the other vegetables to the table, so he could peel and dice them while looking at Jack. "Were?" He asked, noticing the use of the past tense.
"Well, we grew apart when I started high school. Well, I did. They're all still close, but I started to drift away. Haven't yet been able to get close to them again, although I'd really like to."
"Doesn't moving to another continent make that harder?" Ianto remembered when Jack had told him in one of the first lessons how he had relocated to Cardiff a year before, because of his job.
"Yeah, it does. But at the time I really needed the change. Moving away to get a new start seemed more important than being close to my family." He wasn't about to tell Ianto why it was so much more important to move away. That was way too private, and still hurt way too much. Was that ever going to stop being such a sore subject? Thankfully, Ianto seemed to notice this, and changed the subject.
"And how has Cardiff been treating you since you got here?"
"You know, I'd say great, but that was before I learned I was having problems at work. I really like living here, but if I can't stay at this company, I don't think I'd be able to stay here." Even if the last thing he wanted was to go back home.
For some reason, that made Ianto feel a pang in his heart, although he couldn't identify why.
"Wouldn't you try looking for another job?"
"Yeah, I suppose I could. But if the problem is that people get uncomfortable because they see me as a foreigner who doesn't know squat about this place, I'm not sure I'd do well in other places." He was thoughtful for a while. "Maybe if I tried something where I didn't have to deal with people, but that's what I've done all my life, I don't even know what else I could do."
"I can understand that."
The vapours had started drifting from the pot, and Jack's stomach growled.
"It certainly smells good."
"I just hope you think it tastes good, too." Ianto laughed softly. "It will still be a while, we have to wait for all the vegetables to cook. I think I have a bag of crisps somewhere, if you're too hungry."
"No, it's fine, I can wait. Wouldn't want to spoil my appetite." And again Jack gave Ianto a very open but innocent smile.
Ianto's phone started to ring, and he went to the living room to collect it where he'd left it on the coffee table. He came back only five minutes later.
"That was Rhiannon. She said David is out of surgery and everything went well. He's sleeping now, and he's gonna be fine. Rhiannon is taking Mica home, and Johnny is staying in case David wakes up, so he won't be too scared and confused."
"That's great news. I'm really glad to hear it." He said sincerely. Ianto was once more taken aback by how much Jack seemed to care about people he didn't even know. He was silent for a short while, before he could reply.
"Thank you again, Jack, for everything you did today. You made everything so much easier on all of us. We really appreciate it." He tried to put all the gratefulness he was feeling in these words.
"Honestly, Ianto, stop thanking me. It was nothing." Ianto could see a hint of a self-deprecating smile, and wondered if there was even more to the man than what met the eye.
"It was not nothing. But I've learned today that it's useless to argue with you, so I'll let it go. But you'll never be able to make me and my family feel any less grateful."
Jack gave him a small smile, but didn't say anything.
They kept talking for a while, choosing lighter topics now. Jack was once more doing what seemed like second nature to him, and soon they were both relaxed, the awkwardness from before practically forgotten. Some time later the timer from the oven went off, and Ianto stood from the counter he was leaning on to check if the stew was ready. He filled two bowls with generous servings, got some bread, and took it all to the table, and then got two more beers for them.
They ate mostly in silence, both of them too hungry to consider stopping to talk. Jack only once stopped to compliment Ianto, saying that it tasted delicious. Ianto was sure he was just being polite, but accepted the compliment anyway.
When they were done, Ianto collected the bowls and took them to the sink to do the washing up.
"Are you sure I still can't help you?" Jack said.
"You're still my guest." Ianto smiled at him, looking over his shoulder. "This won't take long anyway." As soon as he was done, he turned to Jack. "Now, would you like some coffee? I've been told I make a very decent cup."
"Sure, I'd love some."
Ianto turned to his coffee machine, to start the whole delicate process. Only now Jack noticed the machine, and he was surprised. He was pretty sure this was the only thing that could be considered high end in the entire flat.
"Wow, this looks like a great machine."
Ianto laughed. "Yeah, coffee is pretty much the only thing I'll allow myself to splurge on. To me, there's nothing better than a carefully made cup."
"Not even sex?" Jack asked before he could stop himself, and immediately regretted it. He'd been trying really hard to avoid any mention of sex, or flirting, or anything that could be construed as him making a move, trying to respect Ianto, and not put him in the same position he had for so many months.
Ianto didn't seem to mind, though. He just laughed. "You can't have sex in public."
"Fair enough." Jack laughed softly, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"Here, you tell me what you think." Ianto said, offering him a cup full of steaming, rich, dark liquid.
Jack took his first sip, and barely contained a moan.
"God, Ianto, this is a lot more than just a decent cup. I think I want to retract my previous statement." Jack said, taking another sip, almost burning his tongue in the urge to get more of the heavenly liquid.
"Thank you, Jack. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Let's have our coffees in the living room. It's slightly more comfortable there."