AN: Sorry for the long wait! I got all caught up in this Modern AU thingy I started and couldn't stop. And other projects. And real-life. This one was rough to write guys. To the guest reviewer "ages" - thanks for pointing that out about the ages. I went back and fixed that. When I started this, I hadn't really intended it to be a chaptered fic so I hadn't really thought too hard about their age difference. For the record, my headcanon is that Hiccup's birthday is February 29 (as per canon) and Astrid's birthday is sometime in early September (Sept 8 in my headcanon). Anyway, thanks again!

He was twenty-two and she was twenty-one. Hiccup was furious. He couldn't move fast enough. As if he didn't have enough to worry about with Eel Pox sweeping through the village, now he had to worry about Astrid's bravado on top of that. What the Hel was she thinking? Two months. She had two months left. She couldn't wait two months? Gothi didn't want her doing anything extra. She should be in bed; she should be tied to the damn bed. But no, instead she was saddling up Stormfly and getting ready to do a lap around the cursed island. Hel's rotten teeth, Hiccup was angry with her.

It wasn't the first time he was glad for Toothless' speed and he doubted that it would be the last time. Hiccup had to admit that it wasn't the first time he'd been angry with Astrid for being reckless, but it was probably the most intense time.

"Why would she do that?" he muttered to himself as he and Toothless sped on a rapid course to the other side of the island.

Hiccup could see them from up here, Stormfly's blue scales catching the bright sun's rays. Astrid turned at the whistling sound of the approaching Night Fury. She twisted back to Stormfly and continued adjusting the straps on the saddle. Toothless landed and Hiccup threw himself off him and took angry, stomping steps toward her.

"What are you doing?"

He hadn't meant for it to come out as a shout, but it had. Astrid glared at him.

"I'm going to do a lap around the island," she said evenly.

"No, you're not."

She narrowed her eyes at him and settled her foot into the stirrup, pulling herself up onto Stormfly with some effort.

"Astrid!"

She glowered at him. "You need eyes out there, Hiccup. You can't do everything."

"I don't need your eyes out there. Get down."

"Who else is going to go?"

"I'll worry about that. Get down," he repeated, struggling to keep his voice from rising in volume again.

Gods she was stubborn. If this child had half of either of their stubbornness, it would be Hel to manage.

"I'll be fine, Hiccup."

"Gothi said—"

"It's a flight around Berk! It's not like I'm going to take on Outlaw Island!"

"And what happens if you see Outlaws out there? What then?"

He'd taken hold of Stormfly's saddle, a steadying hand on the dragon's side. Astrid shrugged.

"I'll do what's necessary."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Hiccup muttered.

Astrid scoffed and threw her hands up. "I'll come back, obviously. I'll get back up."

"You'll hand it off to someone else," he said. His voice had taken on the authoritative tone that Astrid referred to as his 'Chief Voice'. She hated it.

"Don't you use the Chief Voice with me."

"Astrid, get off of Stormfly."

Astrid shook her head and laughed bitterly. Hiccup knew there was a better way to deal with this; he knew that giving Astrid direct commands was not the most effective way. He didn't have time to wheedle with her. It all happened too fast. He reached for her arm at the same time that she kicked Stormfly off the ground. His hand found hers and he held tight, pulled her off balance. Hiccup didn't have time to register what had happened until it was happening. Astrid fell, sideways and rapidly from the saddle, hard into the ground. There was an audible, soft thud when she hit. Then she'd lain there, on her side, unmoving and Hiccup couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe or move or scream or do anything. All at once he did all those things.

"Astrid!"

He was next to her, turning her. Blood on the corner of her mouth, closed eyes. She was breathing. Thank the gods, she was breathing.

"Astrid? Astrid?" He kept repeating her name, his voice growing more and more hysterical.

Stormfly landed and walked around nervously. Hiccup wanted to shout at the dragon, to tell her to back off, but he couldn't. Astrid wasn't waking. Astrid had fallen and she wasn't waking and it was his fault.

"Astrid," he moaned, his tears falling on her face.

Her eyelids twitched. Astrid blinked her eyes open.

"Hiccup?"

"Astrid! Thank the gods."

He hugged her tighter than he probably should have, rocking her reflexively. She moaned and tried to push upright. She paused mid-motion and gripped at the swell of her belly. There was a gasp of pain and then an outright scream. Hiccup's heart pounded erratically in his chest.

"Astrid?"

"The baby," she managed.

He was carrying her and mounting Toothless without thinking about it. None of this was registering. Astrid was hurt; the baby was hurt; it was his fault. He needed to get her to Gothi. He needed to get her there now. He needed to go back in time and undo everything that had just happened. Why couldn't he have just let her go? Why had he tried to grab her arm? Why was this happening?

Hiccup kicked open the door to Gothi's hut only to find it empty. The Eel Pox. Of course. Gothi was at the Great Hall. He couldn't bring Astrid there. Gods, that stream of blood from her mouth. He wiped it with his sleeve and she moaned. He settled her onto the bed in the main room.

"Astrid?" he whispered, kneeling beside her.

She was weaving in and out of consciousness. He had no idea what to do. Hiccup ran through the door of the hut and looked for someone, anyone. He couldn't leave Astrid alone, he wouldn't. Everyone was at the Great Hall. He should have told Snotlout to follow him to Astrid instead of bounding off to play the hero. He hadn't. He had no back up. Astrid had always been his back up. What do you do when your back up needs back up?

"You back them up, idiot," he muttered to himself. "Toothless! Get Gothi. Now!"

Toothless bounded through the streets of the village and out of sight. Hiccup fell to his knees beside Astrid and held her hand. Beads of sweat had formed on her brow, her lips had lost colour. If she died, he would die. If the baby didn't make it, he would never forgive himself. But if he lost Astrid, he'd have no point to continue. She mumbled something and he kissed her hand.

Where was Toothless? What was taking so long? Damn the Eel Pox. Damn all of Berk. Astridneeded help now. Hiccup stood up and stormed to the door, glaring at the empty street as though it would make Toothless just appear with Gothi. Astrid cried out behind him and he rushed back to her.

"Hiccup," she muttered, eyes closed.

He pressed his lips to her clammy hand. "I'm here."

"The baby's coming."

Hiccup bit his bottom lip so hard he was sure it would bleed. "Gothi's on her way," Hiccup whispered, hoping it was true.

The door to the hut opened and Gothi hurried in, glaring at Hiccup. What happened? She didn't have to scratch runes into the ground for him to understand the question on her face. Hiccup stood up and stepped away from the bed so that the healer could examine Astrid.

"She fell off her dragon. It was my fault. I pulled her. Gods, please help her. She said the baby's coming."

Gothi glared at him and then turned back to Astrid. Hiccup watched in abject horror as she opened Astrid's eyes and peered into them, silently shaking her head. She put her hands on Astrid's belly and shook her head. The door to the hut burst open again and Hiccup looked over his shoulder at the tall, reedy girl that Gothi had taken on as an apprentice. Her name was Milkweed and she was three or four years younger than Hiccup. She flashed him a sympathetic, worried smile.

Gothi made a number arm gestures, pointing and directing Milkweed toward a shelf of herbs. Hiccup stood uselessly in the middle of the room until Gothi swung her staff at him and pointed angrily at the door. She was throwing him out. He looked at Astrid, pale and sweating and being force fed medicines by Milkweed. I did this, he thought.

"I don't want to go," he said numbly.

Gothi hit him hard in the shin with her staff, but Hiccup barely felt it. Milkweed looked up at him.

"She says you're in the way," Milkweed said, "She says you'll be helping more if you prayed to Freyja and waited outside."

Astrid tossed her head to the side, a strange cry escaping her throat. Hiccup's breath hitched, tears streaming down his face unchecked. Gothi gave him a rough shove toward the door with her staff. He went, numbly and sat on the step outside of the hut listening to Astrid's muffled cries and burying his face in his hands.

"What's happened? Is it the baby?"

Hiccup looked up, face wet. Valka dropped into a kneel in front of him, warm hands on his face, in his hair. Her eyes scanned his face.

"What happened?" she asked again, her voice quiet.

"It's my fault," Hiccup said shakily, "If she dies, it's my fault."

Valka wrapped her arms around her son, but Hiccup didn't feel like he deserved her sympathy. Astrid cried out again and Hiccup flinched.

"Tell me what happened, exactly," Valka said, her voice heavy with command.

"We were arguing. She wanted to patrol; I wanted her to stay on the ground. I grabbed her arm when Stormfly lifted off—"

Hiccup couldn't tell her anymore because a sob caught in his throat. Valka pressed her lips to his forehead.

"It was an accident, Hiccup."

Hiccup shook his head vehemently. It wasn't an accident. He'd pulled her. Why had he felt the need to put his hands on her? Why couldn't he have been calmer? Why couldn't he have talked her down? Why had he argued with her? Now he might lose her.

"I'm going inside to see what I can do to help," Valka said softly, her hand stroking his hair.

The door closed behind her with a clatter and Hiccup stared at his hands, tears drying on his face. Toothless nudged him with his nose and warbled worriedly. Hiccup rested his hand on Toothless' nose. He wished he had something he could say to the dragon; he wished he had comfort in him to give. He had nothing to give. He was numb and sick with worry. Astrid was in this hut, crying out in pain, and he had done that.

Hiccup didn't even acknowledge when Gobber came to sit next to him. He didn't think he could acknowledge anything at all.

"Baby's coming early," Gobber said. It wasn't a question.

"It's my fault," Hiccup mumbled. It was becoming his mantra. I did this. It's my fault. I did this. It's my fault.

"No one's fault but Freyja's."

"She fell off her dragon. It was my fault."

"Was it your fault she was on the dragon?"

Hiccup turned and looked at Gobber blankly. "What?"

"Did you put her on the dragon?"

"No."

"Well, can't all be your fault then, can it?"

"I pulled her off," Hiccup insisted emphatically.

"On purpose?"

"Yes. No. I just wanted her to stay grounded. I didn't mean for it…Stormfly lifted off…my hand was on her arm."

"Hiccup."

"I didn't mean to," Hiccup continued.

"Hiccup. Did I ever tell you about the day you were born?"

Hiccup shook his head. His face felt stiff and hard, unpleasantly dry.

"Oh, you were born early, too. Couldn't do anything the normal way, even then. But you shouldn't have been. Stoick had been on a raid. He paced and roared the whole time. He wanted to get back to Berk. Back to Val and back to you in her belly. He was young and stupid, much like you are now," Gobber explained.

"Thanks, I feel so much better," Hiccup said dryly.

"He was so excited to be home that he bashed open the door to his house and knocked Val clear to the floor. At first everything seemed fine. Val laughed it off; they had a happy reunion. But your mother, oh she's a stubborn one. She didn't tell Stoick about the pains in her belly. She just laughed and carried on like nothing was wrong, "Gobber paused to sigh at the memory, "She went into labour in the middle of the night. You were two months early, Hiccup. No one thought you'd make it. No one but Stoick. But do you know what he did the whole time Val was in labour?"

Hiccup shook his head. He couldn't imagine his father in his own predicament, guilty and worried about his mother. All he could see was Stoick the Vast, strong and unwavering and constant.

"He sat where you're sitting now, crying into his hands and saying 'it's my fault'."

Hiccup drew in a sharp breath. "It was an accident," he whispered.

Gobber nodded. "So is this, Hiccup."

Hiccup drew in a long breath.

"You couldn't have stopped Astrid, Hiccup. Thor knows you should know that by now."

"I shouldn't have grabbed her."

"Nope, you shouldn't have. Remember that in the future," Gobber said, knocking Hiccup in the shoulder with his good hand, "You married her because she has a mind of her own. You're going to have to find ways to work with that mind and it won't be with your hands."

"What if –"

"Nuh uh. We're not going to talk 'what ifs', Hiccup. There is no 'what if', only 'what is'. And what is happening now is a lot of waiting."

They sat there for what felt like hours. The sun had set and the night's chill had taken root. Hiccup was glad he was sitting there in the cold, listening to Gobber whistling tunelessly beside him. It seemed fitting. It seemed deserved. He wondered if Gobber had done the same thing with his father when he was born. Sat there and waited. There was a comfort in his presence beside him, as though Stoick were there by extension. Hiccup wished Stoick was there. I did that, too, he thought. Then he shook his head. He couldn't spiral down there. He could hear Astrid's voice: "Drago did that, Hiccup." They'd had this argument many, many times.

Astrid's cries had stopped sometime in the night. Hiccup didn't know whether he should be worried or glad. Her pain wasn't something he could handle and every moan, every whimper made him nauseous. But her silence could mean something far worse and he wasn't ready for that either. His head whipped around when the door opened, a tired looking Valka stood, blood on her clothes. So much blood. Hiccup couldn't bring himself to look at her face for fear of the worst, so he focused on an angry circle of blood on her overdress. Astrid's blood. He felt sick.

"Hiccup, come inside," she said softly.

His leg felt leaden and stiff as he pushed himself upright. He still couldn't look at Valka's face; he stared at the ground as he walked into Gothi's hut. His steps were slow and heavy, as though his body was trying to protect him from the horrible possibilities that could await him.

"Hiccup," a familiar voice said.

His eyes snapped up to the bed, where Astrid was leaning upright against the headboard, a bundle in her arms. She smiled at him – a weary, thin smile – and then looked down to the bundle in her arms. Hiccup approached slowly and crouched down beside Astrid.

"Meet your son," she whispered.

Hiccup fought against the smile that tugged at his lips. He didn't think he deserved it, not after everything that had happened. But the baby was tiny and pink and perfect. He was too small, Hiccup knew; he was too early. Hiccup had been too early, too, so that meant nothing. No, this child had the genes of Stoick the Vast and Fearless Finn Hofferson; this child would thrive despite his early entrance. Hiccup was sure of it.

"He's perfect," Hiccup breathed.

"He's a little small, don't you think?" Astrid said wryly, "Another Hiccup."

Hiccup looked up at her face – pale and exhausted, her pupils were uneven and seeing that made his smile falter.

"I'm so sorry, Astrid."

"Don't."

"It was my fault."

"Please. Not now. Don't. It was both of our faults, Hiccup. And I'm fine and Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Fourth is fine, too."

Hiccup smiled despite himself. It was the best possible outcome of the worst possible situation.

Gothi insisted that Astrid stay in Gothi's hut for the time being. Her brain was bruised and she needed to be woken frequently in the night. A wet nurse could easily be brought in if necessary for Hiccup the Fourth and Gothi wanted to keep an eye on the baby since he was so early. She didn't like the way he breathed yet. Valka had tried to convince Hiccup to go home and get some rest, but he refused stalwartly. He wouldn't leave Astrid's side. He wouldn't walk away from his child.

Hiccup leaned against a support beam next to the bed and watched Astrid nursing their baby. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, just for a moment. Only for a moment.