She was twenty-two and he was twenty-two. The baby had forced a wedge between them, Astrid was sure. It wasn't that Hiccup wasn't there for her and little Hic; he was. It wasn't that he had become distant in any way; he hadn't. It wasn't even that he wasn't touching her; he was. But he wasn't touching her in the same way. He wasn't lingering. He wasn't firm.

It had taken Astrid a while to recognize the change; she hadn't really been amenable to touching immediately after the baby had been born. She'd been tired, irritable, and sore. Her breasts ached from feeding Hic and she'd torn when he was born – intimacy had been out of the question. Between those ailments and the constant demands of the new baby, intimacy had really been out of the question. So she hadn't noticed how gentle Hiccup's hands had become, how fleeting. She hadn't noticed that he barely touched her more than was absolutely necessary.

As time passed and Hic settled into a regular sleeping pattern, Astrid started to feel more like herself again and less like a walking food supply. She'd managed to get out to the woods this afternoon to throw her axe for the first time in months. Never had she been more grateful for Valka's closeness and eagerness to spend time with the baby. If someone had told Astrid a year ago that throwing her axe in silence would be so thrilling, she would have laughed them right out of the Great Hall. When she'd returned home in time to feed Hic, Valka had offered to stay longer.

"You should really get a flight in with Stormfly," Valka said, taking the sleeping baby from Astrid and rocking him tenderly.

Astrid looked up from the baby in Valka's arms and blinked at her. "She's been getting her exercise between you and Eret," Astrid said.

"But you haven't." Pale green, knowing eyes locked onto Astrid's face. Valka grinned, the tiniest, slightest of things. "You've probably got a couple of hours before this little devil is hungry again."

Astrid's smile felt brighter than the sun on her face. "You're sure you don't mind?"

Valka laughed quietly. "Not at all," she paused and looked at the baby, her smile faltering, "I missed all this."

Astrid knew she was talking about Hiccup. Valka had never come out and said it, not directly, but Astrid could see it on the older woman's face when she held Hic – regret. She had missed Hiccup's childhood. She hadn't watched him grow; she hadn't held him in her arms and cooed him to sleep. It was almost as though Hic was her second chance at something precious and now unattainable. Astrid certainly was grateful for the extra set of hands around the house and for these small pockets of freedom that Valka was allotting her with her help.

"Do you know where Hiccup is?" Astrid asked, pulling out Stormfly's saddle.

"I think he said something about repairs to the Gunnarson house," Valka replied.

Astrid took purposeful strides across the room and ran her fingers along the baby's barely fuzzy head. His hair was coming in as blond as any Hofferson ever was, but his eyes were undoubtedly as green as his father's. She bent to press her lips to his head.

"I'll be back soon, my little dragon," she whispered.

She looked up meaningfully at Valka. "Thank you."

Valka grinned and waved her free arm at her, shooing Astrid from the house.

When Stormfly saw Astrid approaching with her saddle, the Nadder danced happily from foot to foot.

"Hi, girl!" Astrid said brightly, patting the dragon fondly, "It's been a while, huh?"

The Nadder cooed and nudged Astrid with her beak. Astrid laughed, wrapping her arms around the dragon's neck.

"I missed you, too," she murmured.

Astrid made quick work of the saddle. She hesitated before climbing up onto Stormfly's back. The last time she'd climbed up – she didn't really want to think about it. It had been an accident. It had turned out fine in the end. She was fine; Hic was fine; Hiccup was…markedly guilty, even still. Astrid sighed. She hoped she could entice him to ride with her, to escape Berk for an hour, at least. They hadn't been alone in months. She missed him. She missed sex, if she were to be completely honest.

"Come on, Stormfly. Let's go find Hiccup."

Hiccup was exactly where Valka had said he'd be – fixing the Gunnarson house, directing Snotlout and Fishlegs from the ground, Toothless preening behind him. Toothless saw them approach first and bounded toward Stormfly as they landed. Hiccup had turned to see what the commotion was about and had broken into a quick jog, ready with a steadying hand to help Astrid from Stormfly.

Astrid grinned at him, her hand still in his even though her feet were firmly on the ground. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know, I just…" Hiccup trailed off and shrugged.

Astrid reached around and grabbed his other hand, looking up at him and grinning slyly. Concern bathed Hiccup's features and she could see dark circles under his eyes. The lack of sleep was weighing on him, too.

"Is everything alright? Hic—"

"Is fine. Your mom is with him," Astrid grinned lopsidedly, "She's given me some time off. I got out to the woods today to throw my axe; I've flown Stormfly; and now," she paused, toying with Hiccup's fingers. She flicked her eyes up to his. "Can you get away? Just for an hour."

Hiccup's brow furrowed. "Astrid—"

"An hour. That's all I'm asking," she said, stepping in to close the distance between them. She balanced herself on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Maybe we can fly to Mount Ascup," she suggested.

Hiccup pulled back, his eyes scanning her face, mouth twitching up at the corner. She almost had him. Astrid ran her hand up his arm and circled it where his armour was thinnest, knowing he'd feel the heat of her hand through the leather.

"Please?"

Hiccup bit his bottom lip, barely deliberating. His eyes were locked on hers as he called back, "Fishlegs? You're in charge."

Whatever protestation Fishlegs had, they didn't stay to listen. They were both back on their dragons – Hiccup insistently assisting Astrid onto Stormfly in a way that was both endearing and irritating to her – and out of there before anyone had a chance to stop them. Once they were up in the sky, Astrid let out a great whoop, stretching her arms upward.

"Astrid! Be careful!" Hiccup insisted, staring at her with too wide eyes.

Astrid shot him an incredulous grin, but brought her hands down. "It's been so long. This feels so good."

If flying felt this good, what would sex be like? Astrid glanced over to Hiccup to find his jaw set and his eyes determinedly turned forward.

"Hiccup," she called.

He looked at her and she grinned. He grinned back at her, although it was slow to appear. They landed on Ascup and Astrid jumped off Stormfly before Hiccup had a chance to run over and catch her. She frowned at him and his worried expression, then her face softened.

"I'm fine," she promised.

Hiccup looked away and she closed the distance between them, one hand curling behind his back, the other snaking into his hair. She pulled his head down to meet hers and kissed him. It was a sloppy kiss, a kiss that was backed by too much passion and a discernible lack of practice. Hiccup's hands came up to her shoulders and rested there, light as baby Terrors. He broke the kiss and swallowed.

"Astrid," he started, but his eyes were dark with desire and time was limited. They could talk later. She reached for him again.

Their lips met neatly this time, almost chastely. Astrid ran her tongue along Hiccup's closed lips, urging them open and delving into his mouth. He started to relax against her, hands sliding down her back and holding her close. This. Yes, this, Astrid thought. This is what I've been missing. Astrid pulled on him insistently, trying to tug him down to the ground. Hiccup resisted and broke their kiss again.

"Astrid."

"What?" Astrid mumbled, nuzzling his neck.

"Is this really okay?"

"What's not okay about it?"

"I don't know. Are you," he paused and rolled his shoulders in a way she would have made fun of had she not been so focused on dragging him to the ground with her, "ready?"

Astrid stepped back, grinning and pulled her dress over her head. She was glad she hadn't bothered with any of her armour. Hiccup's cheeks flushed at the sight of her and she rolled her eyes, stepping forward and tugging at his armour. Hiccup seemed frozen for a moment, but then his hands came up to catch hers.

"Astrid."

She looked up at him. "What?" she asked, irritated.

"I don't know—"

"What don't you know, Hiccup? I'm naked. Is that not enough for you?"

He didn't answer and Astrid returned to tugging at his armour shoving it off of him incompletely before kissing his skin beneath. She pressed her hands into the tops of his shoulders and he finally conceded, sinking to the ground with her. Astrid kissed his skin – so much skin that she hadn't touched in so long. Gods, she missed touching him. She couldn't keep her hands off of his body; she wanted to kiss every inch of him. And he – he wasn't touching her at all.

Astrid sat back, his pants half removed, and considered his flushed face. He wasn't as relaxed as she was used to him being. He wasn't nearly as enthusiastic. She had to wonder – was it her? Was there something wrong with her body since she'd had the baby? Did he not find her attractive anymore? Her body had changed, certainly. Her hips had broadened and never really gone back to the slimness they'd held before; her breasts were bigger, heavy with milk, stretched in places. Her belly was stretched, but not as badly as some she'd seen. But – was this too much for Hiccup? Were these changes too much?

"Is there something wrong?" she asked, her voice small.

Hiccup blinked at her and swallowed. He wanted her; she could see that with her own two eyes, but—

"No, nothing," he said, his voice cracking.

"Then why aren't you," she paused, hesitant to even ask the question, "touching me?"

His eyes flitted to her face and then away, his jaw clenched again. Astrid stared at him, waiting

for him to say something, anything. Without looking at her, he brought his hands up to her hips hesitantly, his fingers barely brushing her skin. He swallowed hard again. Astrid felt tears pricking at her eyes and she shook her head slowly, as though her disbelief would negate what was happening. She pushed up and away from him, stalking toward where she dropped her dress and furiously scooping it up off the ground.

"Astrid!" Hiccup called after her.

He struggled to his feet and chased after her, catching her arm in his hand and turning her toward him. His fingers fell away from her rapidly and his eyes studied her face in concern. Astrid couldn't stop the humiliated tears from rolling down her cheeks and she held her dress in front of her chest in an attempt to hide from him. She'd never felt ashamed of her body before this moment.

"I love you," he said, his voice cracking and desperate.

Astrid just shook her head at him wordlessly, tears flowing harder. Hiccup's whole body slumped and he reached a tentative hand out to her, fingers falling short of touching her.

"Astrid," he whispered as though her name were a plea for understanding in and of itself.

Astrid started to pull her dress over her head clumsily, but Hiccup caught her wrist and held on to it. His touch was light as a whisper. He stepped closer to her. Astrid hadn't been this confused by his behaviour since…well, since ever. He'd always been transparent and that's what made her heart hurt even more. If he was being transparent now, then he simply didn't want her. Even if his body presented evidence to the contrary.

Astrid stared at the collar of his half-removed jacket fixedly. She couldn't look in those vibrant green eyes now and say what she needed to say.

"You love me, but you don't want me."

Astrid's voice held such a strong conviction that it surprised even her.

"What? No, I—"

Astrid shook her head. "You've been strange for months. Since the baby was born. You can barely stand to touch me."

She was crying now in earnest and she hated it. Astrid so rarely cried. She hated the weakness it presented. She hated the vulnerability that she felt. But right now, she felt like her world was collapsing because if Hiccup didn't want her anymore, what was she supposed to do? How could she continue knowing that he wasn't interested in her fully? He loved her, but what did that even mean anymore?

"I'm afraid," he said, his voice wavering and quiet, cutting through her thoughts violently.

Astrid's eyes snapped up to his face and she swallowed a lingering sob. "Afraid? Of what?"

Hiccup swallowed again and stared at the ground between them. His fingers were still feather-light against her wrist, tethering her to that place, to him.

"I pulled you off Stormfly," he said, "I did that."

"Hiccup, that was an accident," she sighed, exasperated that they were having this argument again.

"I know. I know that. But maybe you were right. Maybe if I hadn't gotten so used to just pulling you around," he paused and shook his head, smiling bitterly, "Even Snotlout wouldn't have been stupid enough to pull you off your dragon."

Astrid ducked her head down to catch his eye. "You didn't mean to, Hiccup. Even Snotlout wouldn't be stupid enough to jump on a dragon seven months pregnant."

A tiny smile tugged at the corners of Hiccup's mouth. "Now that is a terrifying thought."

Astrid grinned just slightly, her face tight with dried tears. As they gazed at each other, Astrid felt the tension that had been closing in on them for months crack and give way. With his free hand, Hiccup reached up and wiped what was left of a tear from her cheekbone. His fingers were so tender and warm against her skin.

"I don't want to hurt you again," he whispered.

Astrid drew in a long breath and then pulled back her arm and hammered her fist into his shoulder, hard.

"Ow!" he hissed, taking a step back from the force of impact.

"As if you could hurt me. I'm a Hofferson."

"You're a Haddock now," he reminded.

"I'll tell you something, Hiccup. Falling off Stormfly hurt less than giving birth to that big-headed Haddock baby."

Hiccup laughed despite himself and Astrid smiled. She pressed her palm to his chest just over his heart.

"I miss you."

Hiccup finally let go of her wrist, tracing his fingers along the side of her face. Astrid closed her eyes and pushed her head into his palm.

"I want you to touch me," she breathed, "I won't break."

"You promise?" Hiccup barely whispered.

Astrid opened her eyes and tilted her head upward. She let go of her dress and reached up to kiss him.

"I promise," she whispered before their lips met.