As always, thank you for reviewing and for sticking with me until now. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter.

Thanks to my beta IceElf2008 for making everything flow better and for all the support.

Jack woke first. For a moment, he just lay there, looking at Ianto. He was still trying to wrap his mind around what had happened – he'd wanted Ianto for so long, but he never thought anything would ever happen. It was just something that was constantly in the back of his mind, that he didn't – couldn't – pay any heed to. It was like a wild dream, like going into space or something, one you thought about it once in a while, wistfully, but knew it was impossible and you were fine with that. He'd become used to being just friends with him. In fact, he would never call it 'just' friends. He was extremely grateful for the presence of the younger man in his life. Ianto had made his life so much better, helped him in so many ways, and that made him feel truly blessed. Jack often thought that wanting more than that bordered on sacrilegious.

But then, just a few hours before, everything had changed. Jack still didn't know how he'd kept so calm during the entire conversation. Inside, his head was swirling, his stomach doing flip flops, and his heart thundering in his chest. When Ianto said he was actually attracted to him, he'd had to do a double take. It took him a while to figure out how to reply to that as it was such an unthinkable thing. He was surprised that Ianto hadn't noticed that it was taking forever for Jack to react to everything that he was saying, but it was probably because he was too nervous himself. Speaking of which, how adorable was he? He looked so innocent, completely embarrassed, and Jack thought it was the cutest thing ever. If he didn't have feelings for the man before, he'd would have started to, just then.

Now here he was, looking at that beautiful, amazing man lying in front of him, sleeping peacefully, a small smile gracing his almost angelic face. He could easily say that he'd just had the best sex of his entire life. He couldn't even call it sex, it was so much more than that. It had been spectacular and passionate and yet intimate, as if they were opening each other up completely, sharing with each other everything they had. He'd never felt anything like it before.

It was scaring the hell out of him. He really didn't think he could go back to the way things were. He wanted to share everything with Ianto, he wanted to be with him, heart, body, mind and soul. What if Ianto didn't feel the same? What if he'd been satisfied with just the one experience, and didn't want anything else? Even if he did feel the same, there were still things he didn't know about Jack. Jack was perfectly aware that those things could be a total deal breaker. If Ianto wanted to be with him, he should know everything. He should know what he would be getting himself into.

At that moment, Ianto stirred beside Jack. He looked around to face him, and smiled.

"Hey," Ianto murmured softly, still half asleep.

"D'you know that you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen?"

"Then you've clearly never looked in a mirror."

"I have, and you're still the most beautiful man I've ever seen."

Ianto smiled lazily, blushing a little. "Come here," he pulled Jack closer, so he could kiss him. Jack returned the kiss, but pulled back shortly after.

"Are you trying to shut me up?"

"Yep."

"You can try, but you're way too amazing for me not to mention it every once in a while."

"Oh, God, Jack, stop that."

"It's not my fault if you're perfect..."

"I'm hardly perfect," Ianto replied, the blush covering his entire face now.

"You are to me," Jack looked at him with a goofy smile on his face, completely smitten.

"Okay, come back here. Now I really need to shut you up," they started kissing again. This time, Jack didn't feel the slightest need to pull away, and they just kept going. They lost themselves in the kiss and only broke apart a long time later. They kept their eyes closed, still holding each other.

"Yan, do you... Do you think you'll regret it? What just happened?" Jack asked, opening his eyes to look at Ianto.

"Not in a million years. You?" Ianto didn't open his eyes, snuggling closer to Jack instinctively.

"No way. It's probably the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Hmmm. Good," Ianto buried his face under Jack's chin, apparently considering the conversation over. Jack, however, didn't want to let it go.

"Yan?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think things might get awkward?"

Ianto pulled his head back in surprise, looking at Jack now. "Why would things be awkward if we're gonna be tog...? He hesitated and turned away from Jack. "Oh. I just assumed... because it all went so great, I just thought... but if you don't want to..."

"Yan, if you want to be with me, I want to be with you."

Ianto smiled in relief. "I want to be with you."

Jack smiled back, also relieved. It didn't last long before it was replaced by concern and guilt.

"Yan, if we're gonna... If we're going to be together, I need to tell you everything."

Ianto looked at him, confused. "Everything...?" Then it dawned on him. "Oh, everything. Right. Okay. Are you sure? Because you don't have to, I understand-"

"Yeah, I do. Before I was just protecting a private part of myself, but now I just feel like I'd be lying to you. Your opinion of me might change when you know what happened, and you deserve to know what you're getting yourself into."

"I sincerely doubt that my opinion will change, but if you want to tell me, okay, then I want to listen. Just... What time is it? I should call Tosh and tell her I can't make it to dinner."

"Oh. No. I completely forgot about that. You should go, I can tell you another time."

"Jack, I'm staying. I've never left you alone before, I'm not about to start now. Let me just call her. She'll understand."

Twenty minutes later they were dressed and sitting at the kitchen table, each with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Okay, this will be long and complicated, so I'll just start at the beginning and go from there."

"Okay."

"D'you remember that I told you that I used to be really close to my family, but I started drifting apart when I was a teenager?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's pretty much when it all started. First year of high school, I met this guy, John Hart." Ianto didn't fail to notice that Jack shivered slightly when he said the name. "He was reallly attractive. I don't mean that just in a handsome kind of way, though he was that, too, but in that he was the kind of person that you wanted to be around. He was also a real ladies' man, even at fifteen. Well, he was a guys' man, too, although that he tried to cover up a bit. Rumours where that if he wanted someone, he'd get them. He was amazing, and popular, everyone wanted to be his friend, and for some reason, he chose me. I could never figure out why, but I felt wonderful. I was special because he chose me. He made me feel interesting, and wanted, and I felt extremely lucky.

"I wouldn't say that I was shy at the time, but I wasn't exactly outgoing either. I was used to it being just me and my family. I mean, of course I had friends, but my family and I were so close that many times I'd choose them over my friends. That made me kind of lonely at school, but I didn't really care. But once John started paying attention to me, it was like I saw a whole new world. The way he was, the life he had, he made it seem so fascinating, and thrilling. He made me want to be a part of that. And he helped me become like him. I was already considered very handsome, I just didn't know how to use that. He taught, or at least encouraged me to flirt, to seduce, and it didn't take long for me to be like him, over-confident, getting anyone I wanted.

"I guess considering just that, it doesn't seem like such a big deal," Ianto nodded. "I mean, I was always careful and everything, so what if I was having some fun? Except John was mixed up with a kind of bad crowd. In the beginning it didn't seem so bad, just the odd weed dealer, or something. But with time it just got worse and worse. He started hanging out with people who took, and dealt, heavier drugs, and he started shoplifting to help him pay for his habits. At first it was CDs or something, things he could trade or sell to buy drugs. But it got heavier. He started breaking into places, to steal TV's and stereos, and stuff like that. I was never involved, but I didn't really mind it either. I admired him so much, idolized him even, that it didn't even occur to me that I should be questioning what he was doing.

"By then, I had completely abandoned my family." Jack kept talking almost non-stop. He was afraid that if he took any pauses, he would lose all his courage and stop talking altogether. "That started happening our senior year of high school. When I went to college, I moved out and cut ties with them completely. To this day, I have no idea how John managed that, but when I moved out I would say to anyone who asked that I hated my family. So, really, there was no one around to help me see some sense. And I just got in deeper and deeper. I started stealing stuff, too, and we got arrested a few times. This was a very loyal crowd, so someone would always bail us out. I was drinking heavily, taking drugs -nothing too heavy, but still- and I wasn't so worried about being careful any more. I was extremely lucky that nothing serious ever happened to me. That is, that I didn't get sick, I mean. I could've fucked up my whole life," Jack took a furtive glance at Ianto, gauging how he was taking everything. Ianto was quiet, apparently just holding out any judgement. Jack thought that it was better than him running out the door. He had considered that it might happen.

"Senior year of college," Jack continued, "We started sleeping together. Don't really know how that happened, it just did. At first it was casual, it would happen every once in a while. About a year later, we made it official. Well, in the sense that he would introduce us as boyfriends, and so did I. We became exclusive, and I was really happy. Or so I thought. Turns out John was still sleeping around, I just didn't know about it" He paused to emphasise his next point. "At first. Then I just pretended I didn't see it. Didn't want to burst my own bubble and all that. He didn't really want to be exclusive, he just wanted to be able to control me. John had become extremely possessive of me. He got extremely jealous if I even talked to anyone that wasn't part of our group, and even with them he would be always watching over my shoulder, making sure there was no flirting involved. I actually thought that was flattering at first," Jack let out a sarcastic laugh, "Thinking that it was nice that he wanted me just for himself.

Jack took a very deep breath. "Then the threats started, although I was in too deep to notice at the time that that was what they were. I was working by then, and like now, I had to deal with a lot of clients. John would make it very clear that I wasn't to ever make a move on any of them, and that he had people watching me. He said his gang would always be more loyal to him than to me, and if he ever wanted something to happen to me, all he needed was to make a phone call, and no one would ever know. They could easily make it look like an accident. That should have been enough for me to realise that what was happening wasn't okay, but I was too in love with him to let myself acknowledge that. Denial is a very powerful thing.

"That lasted for about three years. Then the penny dropped. I have no idea what made it happen. I think it was a combination of things. Something I saw on TV, then some comment heard on the street, then something John had said would pop in my head, and I finally – slowly – realised that what was happening wasn't good for me. Little by little I started remembering everything that had happened in the past years, and I was shocked to realise that I was actually being abused. And then I felt like shit. I felt weak and worthless. How could I have let that happen? I'm a man. I'm bigger and stronger than John. How could I have possibly been threatened by him? This kind of thing only happens to women, right? Then I decided to man up and leave him. I wasn't gonna take that shit any more." Jack sounded almost confident again, showing strength. He could remember how he'd felt when he figured everything out and believed he could get out of it.

"One night I confronted John. I told him it was over, and that I was leaving in the morning. And he laughed at me."

Jack could see the whole scene replay before his eyes as if it'd happened the day before:

"'Oh, Jackie,' John said, 'You can never leave me. You're mine until I say otherwise. If you try anything, if you try to go, or if you try to hurt me, my little friends will find you. They will hurt you, then they'll kill you. Oh, wait, did I say they'd hurt you? I'm sorry, I meant your family. They're going to find your mom, your dad, that little brother of yours and they're going to torture them, in front of you, until they're dead. And then you're gonna die. How's that sound?' Jack could still see the look on John's face, this sick, cold look, that terrified him to his very core. John's final words were the last nail on the coffin of his freedom. 'You can't leave me, Jackie. I'll have you, or you won't see another day.'"

Jack's whole body shuddered as he remembered. He tried really hard to maintain his composure while he related to Ianto what he was practically seeing in front of him. He had to take a very deep breath to be able to finish telling Ianto the story.

"After that, I was in a constant state of fear, and I felt completely helpless. I felt even more worthless and weak, and all of that was destroying me. I started losing weight, I was subdued all the time, and I got deeply depressed. It didn't take too long for my boss to notice. About six months later, he started questioning me, asking what was going on. I tried to avoid the questions as best I could, but he wouldn't give in. John Smith, his name is. Friend of the family since forever, watched me grow up. He kept telling me that he was worried and he wanted to help, but also that my performance was declining quickly, and soon he'd have to do something about that." Jack sighed. "A few months later, I finally told him. Not in as many details, but enough for him to understand the gravity of the situation. The first thing he did was move me to a desk job, so I wouldn't have to meet with clients. He thought I'd be more protected that way, and it wouldn't matter so much how I looked or behaved. And he was more than willing to overlook my compromised performance. Amazing man, I owe him a lot. Then he tried to convince me to go to the police. I refused for the longest time, thinking that enough people were aware of my weakness, and I didn't need to share it with anyone else. He finally convinced me that it was probably my only way out of that situation, and that I had to try. So I did. I was scared shitless, worried that John would find out that I'd gone. But I went anyway. And it was awful. No one ever believed me, and more often than not I was laughed at, mocked for being so desperate for attention that I felt the need to make up such a lie. After a few tries, I just gave up.

"Finally, two years after I confronted John, I 'lucked out'. He found someone else, and got bored of me. He said that I had become too ugly for him anyway, and he didn't want to be seen or connected to me any more, so he let me go. Said he would leave me alone, his new boyfriend was a lot of fun, unlike me, and he couldn't be bothered to care about me. But he obviously couldn't leave it at that. The last time I saw him, he made sure to remind me that he knew where my family lived, that he would always be able to find me, and he might want to remember the old times sometime in the future. 'You still belong to me, Jackie', he said. 'I may not want you, but I'll never let anyone else have you either. Not that anyone would want you anyway. You're disgusting.'" Jack repeated John's words, a look of terror and extreme pain on his face.

"I moved back in with my parents, but things never got back to the way they were before. It took me a long time to tell them what happened, and I told them as little as possible. I only told them that my old high school friend was now threatening me, with very few details. You're the only person I've ever had the courage to tell this much. I couldn't let them in, couldn't let them know how weak I was, couldn't let them judge me. They accepted it all, and offered me support but it didn't change how I felt, like I had betrayed them, disappointed them.

"Anyway, things started getting a little better. I started gaining weight again, I could focus on work a little better, but I was still in a constant state of fear. If I saw anyone on the street that slightly resembled John, I'd have a panic attack. John Smith knew about that, and he was still worried about me. That's why a year later he arranged for me to be transferred here. He hoped that moving so far away would finally help me get over what had happened.

"And it worked. I started feeling a lot more confident, I was finally able to breathe again, and after a while I was my old self again. Flirty, carefree, one could almost say happy. Until a few months ago. Remember that day you were here and I got that text message and I freaked out?" Ianto nodded. "Of course you remember. Anyway, that was my brother. He said he'd seen John on the street, and that he'd told him that I had moved. He thought it would make it better, that John would finally let everything go. But my brother said that when John heard that he got a look on his face, like he knew I was only hiding from him, and he said that he could have a lot of fun trying to find me. And I panicked. That's what's been bothering me since then. I keep fearing that he will eventually find me and come after me."

Jack looked up then. He hadn't shed a single tear, even though he thought the whole tale called for it. But Ianto was already hearing how pathetic he was, he didn't need to see it, too. He kept his gaze on Ianto, waiting for his reaction, even though he was terrified of what it might be. He expected to see judgement, maybe pity, or disgust. He wouldn't even be surprised if the man just left. Part of him kind of expected that, if he was honest with himself.

Ianto looked at Jack. He sat there quietly for a while, waiting to make sure Jack had finished talking. When it was clear he wasn't going to say anything else, Ianto got up. He sat on the chair beside Jack, got as close to him as possible, and he held him. He held him tight. He kissed Jack's hair, and moved his hand up and down Jack's arm over and over. At first Jack stiffened, but slowly he started to relax. Ianto kept doing the same thing for a really long time, trying to bring Jack some comfort. After several minutes, he moved back a bit so he could look at Jack.

"Jack, can I ask you something?" He asked softly.

"Yeah," Ianto could hear fear in Jack's voice.

"Please don't get me wrong, I feel deeply honoured – if that's the right word – that you trusted me enough to tell me all this. But... Why did you think you had to tell me? Today, of all days?"

"Because I'm not who you think I am. You keep treating me as if I'm this wonderful, special person, but I'm not. I have this terrible past, and it's all my fault, because I was too foolish to realise what was happening, and then I was too weak to deal with it. I'm completely worthless. I'm a piece of garbage that you throw away after you've used what you needed. I'm damaged, Ianto. I'm broken."

"Please don't talk about yourself like that," tears were rolling down Ianto's face. Jack ignored him.

"I kept making excuses when we were just friends, telling myself that I was entitled to keep it private, that it didn't affect you anyway. But now, you said you want to be with me. And I just had to tell you because I know that now you know everything... you won't."

"What would make you say that?!" Ianto asked, pulling away in shock. "Of course I want to be with you!"

"But, Yan... As much as I want that... I have to be honest. You deserve better than me."

"No, I don't! You're... Do you want to know what I'm thinking now that you've told me everything?"

Jack just looked at him, looking miserable, defeated. Ianto looked straight into his eyes.

"I think you're a hero, right up the alley of those heroes in your stories, if not better. I think you're incredibly brave and strong and yes, special. You endured something terrible, for years, and you kept going. You tried to get away from him, and you never gave up. You went to the police, terrified, but you did. And you went again and again. When you were offered a chance to start over, you took it. You did your best to overcome what had happened to you, and you succeeded. Considering everything you've been through, no one would fault you if you had become hardened, or distanced. But you're kind and caring and fun and trusting. You're beautiful, Jack. You're so beautiful. And you think I deserve better? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was already proud to call you my best friend and now I'll be proud to call you my boyfriend."

Jack was staring at Ianto the whole time, slightly stunned. He had no idea how to react, he wasn't really sure if he even believed any of it, it was just so hard. He just leaned forward, and hugged Ianto, as tightly as he could. Even if he wasn't sure, he wanted to pretend it was all true. He needed that. He needed Ianto, so much. They stayed there, for the longest time. Finally Jack said, not letting go.

"You really mean all that?"

"Yes, Jack, I do. Every word."

They kept their hold on each other a while longer. Then Ianto pulled back a little, and kissed Jack softly. He ran his fingers lightly through Jack's hair, and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

"I want to make you feel better," Ianto whispered. "I want to make up for everything that bastard ever did to you. You deserve that," he kissed Jack again, not giving him any chance to reply.

It took them forever to break the kiss, and even then it was reluctantly. They never stopped touching each other. They were both thoughtful for a while.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Um... You don't have to do this if you don't want to, but... I have this mate, well, had, well, have-"

"Ianto."

"Sorry. We played rugby together when I was in Uni. We kinda lost touch, I don't think I've talked to him since I dropped out, but he's a great lad. Anyway, his fiancée – well, I suppose she's probably his wife now – works in the police. I met her a few times. She's a really nice woman, kind, sensitive, but also really competent and strong – well, strong-headed, more like it," Ianto blurted out in one single breath, worried that Jack wouldn't let him finish. He glanced at Jack briefly, and kept going. "I was just thinking that maybe... I mean, I know no one helped you back in the US, but maybe here... maybe it would be worth another try."

"You think I should try going to the police again?" Jack asked dubiously.

"Well... Yeah," Ianto looked at his hands briefly, then looked up again. "Maybe it won't make any difference, maybe nothing will come out of it again... But what if it does? What if here someone is able to help you?"

"Would you go with me?" Jack asked, sounding like a scared little boy.

"Of course," Ianto squeezed Jack's hands. "I'll be with you every step of the way, no matter what happens."

"Okay, then. Let's try," Jack smiled weakly.

"I know you're scared, Jack. But you have me now. You don't have to do this alone any more," Ianto reached over to kiss Jack's temple, his hand pulling Jack's head closer, keeping his lips there for a moment.

"Thanks, Ianto," Jack replied, relaxing a bit with Ianto's touch.

"I'll give them a call on Monday, okay?" Ianto said. Jack just nodded.