Liara

I slumped back in my chair, dazed and bewildered by what I had seen. I looked over the data again to verify it, almost forgetting that Shepard sat in the same room with me. I opened my mouth, needing to ask how she had procured what she had, what I had been looking for and not yet found.

"Don't say anything." Shepard warned as I looked up from my terminal. "Have you looked at the other data, the stuff I pulled from the secure terminals?"

"That's rather superfluous in light of this, don't you think?" I gestured to the OSD she had brought. "This is what I needed. I was seeking a single, if senior, operative in the Observer."

"How'd you know I'd find out about the Observer?" Shepard grinned again, and my traitorous heart flickered over a beat.

"I am many things, Shepard, but a simpleton is not one of them." I glowered at her, but her grin only widened. "You think I am unaware that the very instant Miranda Lawson left this place, she brought all of her Cerberus might to bear in the invasion of my network. She followed the data you found for me to its inevitable, secondary search, and then told you, in order to make you back away because the enemy that is mine is powerful, and a horrible distraction from your grandiose mission."

"Well, you've confirmed what I've been thinking for a long damn time, Liara." Shepard said, her voice and head lowering, her eyes full of concern.

"What is that?" I wondered.

Shepard looked back up, and her silver eyes were sparkling. "Miranda Lawson is a fucking nuisance."

I kept my peace, when what I truly wished to say was that Shepard did not seem to find the operative a nuisance with Miranda had her arm wrapped about the commander's waist. But I did not have the right to say such things anymore. Shepard's body was her own; it was none of my concern who she wished to have stain it with their touch.

"I agree." I said, monotone.

"In any case, I went over your list of suspects and looked all over fucking Nos Astra." Shepard's eyes lost their sparkle.

"While I appreciate that," I lifted my hand and severed her explanation. "I am no longer concerned about the Observer. You've provided me an in-road directly to the Broker…"

"And the digging I did on the Observer is what gave me the in-road." Shepard explained. "I'm not going to let you run off into God-knows-what and come home to a bullet in your head."

Come home…those were the least important words she had said, and yet they caught my attention, dragging me down into thoughts I did not wish to entertain. Do I seem as though I am at home here? That I belong on the streets of a planet just as dark and depraved as Omega, but more secretive in its ugliness? I remember when I knew where home was, I looked at the woman who was once my commander. It was wherever you were, Serena. You were my home, my answer, and my reason. I miss…I miss loving you.

I frowned, sighing as I relented and switched from the all-too compelling data on my screen to Shepard's report on the identity of the Observer. My heart began to pound in my chest as I extrapolated and interpolated from the various data streams and I could come to but one conclusion. My suspicions as to the Observer's identity had been wrong...or I had been purposefully mislead. Only two other people had known of my search for the Shadow Broker's senior agent, and one of them I trusted more than my own mind. The other…

Zhira had advised me against hiring Nyxeris, but her qualifications and demeanor had impressed me enough that I did not listen to my closest confidant…and an asari more versed in the realm of subterfuge than I. Now, I did not know how much I had risked by trusting my secretary and sometime agent.

Zhira, forgive me. I should have listened. Now I have to fix my mistake.

"Liara," Shepard spoke again, pulling my attention from my failure and the action I needed to take, "I'm not expecting you to welcome me along when you do…whatever it is you're going to do with the Shadow Broker. But I'm not going to throw you to the wolves either. It doesn't feel right."

What are wolves?

"You should go, Shepard." I advised. "You need not bear witness to this."

The human woman had the audacity to shake her head in refusal. It was as though no time had passed for her and she still believed she had a place in my life as a protective force. The very thought of that nauseated me and the anger, which I had actively ignored, resurged in full force.

"Fine, if that is what you wish." I hissed, before slamming down on my intercom control. "Nyxeris," I spoke, keeping my voice as calm as I could, "could I see you in my office for a moment?"

"Of course, Doctor T'Soni." the double-agent in my midst answered.

I sighed, knowing the answer as to why so many of my operations had not gone as planned. Nyxeris had seemed so harmless, and I had trusted her with my life. With the lives of my agents. With Zhira's life, which I valued above my own because of all she had done for me. The threat had been uncovered, and I would not see those I cared about endangered again.

In the back of my mind, a small voice whispered questions. I knew what had to be done. I had seen this manner of punishment meted out once, by Shepard's hand, when she had thrown Sergeant Ledee, a mutineer, out of the Normandy's airlock. But I also remembered the devastated sorrow in her eyes when I had been forced to kill a sentient life form for the first time.

It does not matter, I rationalized. In fact, it is better that Shepard bears witness to what I have become. To see firsthand how very much her death altered our lives.

The door of my office opened and the traitor entered, looking as guileless as she had the day I hired her. I waited until the office door closed before reaching out with glowing blue fists, throwing a biotic bubble around Nyxeris.

In an instant, her demeanor changed. Hatred flared in her eyes and fury tensed her shoulders. Biotic energy swirled around her hands and she struck out at the confining bubble with her own energy. She failed. Her lips moved in words that I could not hear, but I could see hatred stamped on her features.

With a sneer, I constricted the bubble, tightening the sphere around Nyxeris until the energy was form-fitting. I sealed her in completely, stripping away her ability to breathe. Seconds drifted by and as Nyxeris' eyes became more frantic, her body grew more and more sluggish, unable to combat the slow suffocation I subjected her to.

My eyes flitted to Shepard, who watched with a mask of stone set over her face. I knew that beyond the necessity that drove the commander to harsh action, a woman of mercy lived. That woman, Shepard's true identity as I had known it, would balk at the sight I presented her with.

I have lost mercy, I thought. I have lost it, for I have witnessed the wage of mercy and it is death.

Nyxeris' eyes bulged in her head and I watched her chest begin to heave erratically before she started convulsing inside the tightest of shields. After several long, agonizing minutes, her eyes rolled back in her head and she went limp. The sole thing keeping her on her feet was the biotic choke. I released it and her traitor's body crumpled to the floor.

I glanced to Shepard, looking for sorrow, looking for pain, looking for grief. Instead, I simply saw resignation, reluctance, and a profound exhaustion.

Is this what you came to Illium for, Serena? The shell of the asari that you knew and loved? Witness me now, once lover. Witness me in all of my power and darkness. See that what you loved is no longer alive and dwelling within this body.

Shepard's eyes lingered on Nyxeris' body for a moment before she took an audible breath. "Well all right then."