Author's Note: Hello all. Just wanted to apologize for not having updated in a while. I was rather dreadfully ill both Friday and Saturday, and on Sunday refused to let me log in (server issues?) Anyhow, wanted to let you know I am back to feeling better-ish, and to thank you for your patience.

Bright Blessings,

~Rae

Thessia

"I don't believe you." Sen whispered, looking into Liara's azure eyes, seeking any hint of untruth, any purposeful skewing of important events. "You have just spoken to me of a pain so immense and an anger so great that it almost destroyed you. You cannot convince me that all of your bitterness unraveled at the utterance of a few simple words."

Sen watched Liara carefully, needing reassurance, needing the truth. The matron tossed back her head and laughed, but the laughter was not in mockery. The laughter did not disdain Sen for her questions or her disbelief. The laughter rang for the simple joy of having the answer to the question.

Liara quieted, but the smile she wore left neither her lips nor her eyes. "There are epiphanies that we have, and in their moment they seem so earth shattering...until reality snaps back into place." she said, gentle. "For an epiphany is just a thought. Thoughts will only change things when you speak them as words or translate them into action. But a thought by itself will do nothing except stun the one who formulated it. Fortunately, that thought stunned me into doing the right thing."

"Letting Shepard help you." Sen nodded, remembering everything that she had been told by Liara about the human commander. The flaws, the beauties, and the heart that had defined the Savior of the Galaxy. "That is another thing that I do not understand, Liara." Sen mused. "And you said as much yourself…you were hurt. You were bleeding. But you would not let them help you…and Shepard allowed this?"

"She knew my life was in no danger." Liara murmured. "The sight of someone in pain tends to turn most of us into an alarmist…but such is often not the case with a career soldier or a physician. It is discomforting, yes, but they know when action should be taken, and when it is safe to withdraw. I've no doubt that, had I actually been in a life-threatening situation, that Shepard would have taken care of me in spite of my protests."

Sen shook her head. "As a physician, it is exceedingly difficult for me to think of anyone who would do as you did." She admitted. "Who would actively refuse help and remain in pain because…"

"Because I was foolish, childish, and afraid." Liara supplied the insult that Sen did not want to give voice to. "You need not be hesitant to say such things to me, Sen. You can call me nothing worse than I have called myself over the centuries, nor consider me any less than I have considered myself. But you are right to disbelieve me. I am telling you the stories of my past with the wisdom I have earned from living…you are right to remind me of that, and though it is simple now to understand and explain, it was not simple then."

"That makes more sense…" Sen spoke, but stopped speaking.

Liara turned her face toward the window, and the soft light bathed her face in a warm glow. Even now, centuries removed from the time she spoke of, tears filled Liara's eyes and slipped down her cheeks. Sen's heart ached as she saw the eloquent, silent expression of grief.

No matter how wise she has become, no matter how much she has learned, those moments of youth and ignorance still cause her pain. Sen realized. We can heal from the past, and heal from our losses, but it will never be a true healing. The scars will remain…and scars on the heart and psyche cannot be removed by modern medicine.

"Goddess." Liara breathed, and Sen wondered why she still called on the asari deity…the deity that the Reaper War had proven to be complete fiction, a legend molded in the infancy of the asari. "Speaking of all of this…I have purposefully not called it to mind in some time. We are fallible creatures, for all of our achievements and the long lives we lead. Still, we are broken things in this galaxy, not fully formed, not fully comprehending. Were we as advanced as we thought, I would never have faced those moments. I would never have reacted wrongly, would have understood my anger, would have been able to forgive and forget and…and accept."

"But you were not able to do those things." Sen said, knowing that her words did not need to be a question.

Liara had provided an answer already.

"Love has a way of cluttering the organized mind." Liara mused. "Every careful thought can be disrupted, every spoken word can be altered, and every intention can be skewed. And it was that chaos that I found myself in. In that chaos…I did not even acknowledge that love might have been the cause. All I knew was that I had at last understood something that before I did not realize. That Shepard had, perhaps, not left me willingly that day above Alchera."

"But that changed nothing?" Sen inquired.

Liara shook her head, regret tingeing her eyes as she looked back into the past and rested now in the future, recalling what had happened and knowing how different it could have been and was not.

"It changed nothing but that I allowed her hands to touch me." Liara smiled and it was burdened with sorrow. "And when she did, I felt as though I had come apart. All thoughts of what had been and what might have been fled and all of a sudden I was reminded of something that had been and could not be any longer. Touch is something that you do not forget, a sense that you cannot will away into the darkness of the mind. It is more dangerous than hearing, more precious than sight, more visceral than smell."

Sen recalled seeing Mira for the first time in a month, the night before the accident. She remembered how the connection of their hands had sparked something deep within her that could not be ignored.

And though no love is small in this universe…Sen thought, watching Liara's eyes once more go distant, into a past she regretted, yet owned. …what I felt when I touched Mira nearly overwhelmed me. How much more so for Liara, so young, so vulnerable, who had once given everything to Serena Shepard…and had to remember that all in one moment of connection...