The Johnson Twins-Part 2

Twist and Shout

"That was a bust." Sam sighed, unlocking their hotel room door later that night.

"They're not in any of the motels. Are these chicks ghosts? What the hell?" Dean flopped onto the gold and green houndstooth comforter of his hotel bed. "This... is bullshit."

"They're either squatting somewhere, or rented a place." Sam shrugged. "We can catch up with them at the next crime scene. Because with this kind of magic going on, there's going to be another body."

Dean nodded, throwing an arm over his eyes. "I hate cursed objects." He sighed. "Especially before we know what they are."

Sam frowned. So far they knew absolutely nothing about this one, other than it appeared to be a cursed object. An antique store owner had turned up dead the week before, then one of her employees, both "weird accidents." The brothers had rolled into town this morning and tried to investigate the death of a frequent shopper at the store, but had been shot down when they were surprised at the appearance of two "Feds" already there, Agents Sambora and Sixx, which happened to be the ID's the Winchesters were carrying at the time. Dean had tried to schmooze his way in, gotten an incredible shutdown by the girl who turned out to be Glory Johnson, and they'd returned to the hotel. They'd normally just leave this job to the hunters who were already there, except they'd been tipped off that this cursed object was something Crowley apparently wanted, so it was something Sam and Dean were now hellbent on destroying. Plus, Dean's pride was now wounded and he felt he had something to prove.

Dean sat up all of a sudden, a glimmer of hope flashing in his green eyes. "Sammy, I have the best plan ever."

"Oh no." Sam gulped. "What is it?"

"A surefire way to make the Johnson Twins play ball." He shot Sam a cocky grin. "Don't worry Sammy, it's genius. We just gotta wait until another body shows up and opportunity comes a-knocking."

"You're seriously not gonna tell me what this plan is?"

"Nope. It's a need-to-know-basis."

"You are such an asshole."

They didn't have to wait long. The antique store janitor turned up dead the next morning, fallen from the balcony while washing the windows. Dean and Sam pulled up in the Impala. As they got out, Dean tossed Sam an FBI ID card.

"I already brought my Agent Hamill one, Dean." Sam told him.

Dean shook his head. "Nah, man, use the one I just gave you." Before Sam could protest, Dean strode up to the deputy out front and flashed his badge. He could see the whole scene from where he was standing. Glory and Desi Johnson were already there studying the body, wearing demure power suits, their hair pinned up, guns holstered at their sides. Desi was even wearing a pair of glasses. They looked every bit the part of FBI agents. Dean smiled at the deputy. "Agents Sambora and Sixx. FBI sent us down."

Sam's eyes got wide behind Dean as he looked at his badge. It listed him as Agent Sixx. His heart sank. Desi Johnson was currently posing as Agent Sixx. They couldn't both be Agent Sixx. What the fuck was Dean doing?

The deputy peered at him. "Agents Sambora and Sixx are already here. And they look a hell of a lot different than you two." He raised an eyebrow at the brothers.

Dean smiled and nodded slowly. "Yeah. Bureaucratic mistake." He leaned in towards the deputy. "Those two over there. They're our wives." He shrugged. "They sent us all here by mistake. Typo on some orders. Supposed to send one set, sent both. Taxpayer dollars at work, man."

The deputy looked at him incredulously. "Wow. That'll be a lot of paperwork to handle, and someone will have hell to pay." Sam stood behind Dean, flabbergasted. He didn't know what to think, he just kept opening and closing his mouth, thinking of something to say. He was drawing a blank.

Dean nodded. "Yup. They really screwed the pooch on this one." He winked at the deputy, then stepped over the yellow crime scene tape. By this time, the Johnson Twins had noticed the Winchesters were there, and that something was up. They were approaching, fast, and they did not look pleased.

"Dude, what the hell? This is your plan?" Sam hissed at Dean under his breath.

"What better way to keep an eye on them than be married to them?" Dean asked. "It's fucking brilliant."

"It's fucking nuts." Sam caught Dean by the arm. "They are going to be seriously pissed, dude. Did you ever think they might try to kill us?"

"Are you afraid of a couple of girls?"

Sam pursed his lips and glared at Dean. "That's really sexist. And yes. These girls, definitely. Have you forgotten how many times we've gotten our asses kicked by girls? Abbadon, Meg, Rowena, Ruby, Raphael-" he was cut off.

"Excuse me." A very unamused female voice chimed in from the side. Both brothers turned to look. Desi Johnson stood next to them, hands on her hips, glasses tilted low on her nose. Her cousin, Glory, stood slightly behind her. Neither woman looked happy. "What exactly is going on here?"

Dean smiled his most charming smile, and flashed his badge. "Agent Sambora. This is my partner, Agent Sixx."

"Bullshit. I'm Sixx and she's Sambora." Desi indicated her cousin. "Cut the shit. You're the Winchesters."

"Well, yeah. But officially, at least as far as the county here is concerned, you and Sam are Agents Sixx, and Glory and I are Agents Sambora, and we're happily married."

The girls paused for a minute, and their faces went blank, as though they couldn't even fathom a plan this stupid. Finally, Glory spoke up. "What the fuck would you tell them that for?" Her hand was inching a little too close to her gun for Sam's comfort.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sam held up his hands. "We just need information on this cursed object. And this was... Dean's best idea on how to get close to you."

"This was his... best idea?" Desi eyed Dean.

"You aren't the easiest women to track down. And you have a long record of... well... not playing well with others." Sam shrugged.

"So trapping us in fake matrimony was your go-to solution?" Glory still looked like she wanted to kill someone, but her hand had left the immediate vicinity of her firearm.

"You do have to give him credit, it is inventive." Desi threw back over her shoulder.

"It's fucking stupid." Glory replied.

"Hey now. I like inventive better." Dean furrowed his brows. "Either way, you're stuck with us now."

"God damn it." Glory hissed under her breath. She was about to say something else, probably nothing very nice, when the deputy in charge of the scene approached.

"Everything all right here, folks?" He asked, eyeing them strangely.

Glory snapped quickly from pissed-off hunter to charming agent. "Oh, everything is great." She smiled at the man. She wasn't about to blow her cover.

"You all seem a little... tense."

"The Bureau just surprised us, that's all." Desi chimed in, shooting daggers at Dean and Sam but then grinning at the deputy. "Between you and me, they've been mishandling cases for a while now. We're just surprised to see our, er, husbands, here as well." She spoke the last part of the sentence as though just saying it were going to kill her.

"Oh my God. Like we'd be that bad of a catch." Dean whispered to Sam. Sam elbowed him in the side.

"Gotcha." The deputy nodded. "Well, let me know if I can be of any assistance." He walked away. Desi and Glory turned their attention back to the Winchesters.

"You two have a lot of explaining to do." Glory said, eyes narrowed. "Why is this case so damned important that you'd pull a stunt like this?"

to be continued...