After hearing Dr. Pitt's words countless thoughts were running through Gibbs's head. This couldn't be happening again. His boy's life couldn't be in danger again not so soon after the coma. How could he have been so blind? So stupid? He knew that Tony had stayed in the coma so long because he was fighting the guilt for the deaths of Jenny and the Palmer's baby and countless other horrific things he had witnessed. He should have never left him. He should have known that Tony was a flight risk. He didn't care how hard hospital security and possibly even LEO's were looking for him. Nobody was going to do good enough for him. He ran down the halls of the hospital screaming his boy's name, flinging open every room and closet, and checking every nook and cranny. He knew that he wouldn't be able to keep his tears back much longer and hoped that he would find his boy before then. Thought maybe the tears would convoy the point. That Tony meant the world to him and losing him would be the worst thing he could imagine.
"Tony! Just come out! Tony!" Gibbs called.
Tony sat with his hands cupped on his lap. If anybody were to come into the chapel he could very easily make it seem as though he was praying. He didn't need some do gooder trying to tell him that his life had meaning. He guessed the only question now was how would he do it. There weren't a lot of options in a hospital chapel and if he took an overdose. Dr. Pitt could be put at fault for it. Tony didn't want to take another person's life away. Even if it was just his career not like his mom, Jenny, and baby Palmer and maybe Breena too now. Maybe he could get up to the roof somehow but Bethesda wasn't that tall. There was a chance that he would survive and be a burden on probably poor Gibbs. His eyes fell on the curtains that covered the window. It could be pretty easy to wrap the cord around his neck and hopefully it would do the job. He stood up and made his way over to the window, he knelt down on the floor. Hoping that a passer-by would believe the prayer thing.
"You better drop that rope!" Somebody bellowed from the doorway.
"Why the hell should I?" Tony demanded.
"Because I said so." Gibbs replied getting up behind Tony and pulling him away from the chord.
"Boss please I want to die." Tony pleaded.
"Why?" Gibbs asked.
"Because I just leave a path of destruction in my path." Tony sobbed.
"No you don't." Gibbs replied.
"Oh yeah? If I hadn't gotten sick Breena wouldn't have been at Gibbs's place when Senior showed up. She would still be pregnant and happy. Not lying in the hospital fighting the infection she got probably from losing the baby. If she dies. I killed poor Autopsy Gremlin's whole family." Tony rambled.
"No Tony. Senior caused the damage. You are innocent." Gibbs replied.'
"Why do you care so much?" Tony asked.
"What if it was Sadie?" Gibbs replied answering Tony's question with a question.
"Excuse me?" Tony asked.
"What if Sadie who you love more than life itself. Was so damaged by the stuff that Sherry did to her?That she was suicidal and beating herself up over something that Sherry did. What if it wasn't just one thing? What if every time something went wrong no matter how clearly out of her control it was. That she fell into the spiraling pit of despair. What if you had to lay awake at night. Wondering if she would still be there in the morning or if her demons had gotten the best of her? Because that is how I feel with you. It would destroy you. Wouldn't it? Because that is how I am feeling right now. That is how I feel every time you fall apart." Gibbs explained.
"Yeah but Sadie is my daughter!" Tony snapped.
"And you are my son and I love you." Gibbs replied.
"Oh drop that crap! I am not your son! Kelly was your daughter! I am just your agent and nothing more!" Tony snapped.
"Tony" Gibbs called softly.
"Maybe if I die Kelly will come back! That's what you want!" Tony snapped.
"Yes Tony I would live it if Kelly came back but she never is going to come back. All that will happen if you die is that I will have lost two of my babies. I barely got through losing Kelly. The thing that saved me was a sweet kid with a goofy smile I met on the streets of Baltimore. If I lost that kid. If I lost my son. I would never recover." Gibbs explained.
"You would be fine." Tony replied.
"You say what you want but there is one person who is more important than me. Who would be really hurt if you died." Gibbs explained.
"Who?" Tony asked.
"Sadie she adores her daddy and if I am ever forced to explain to her that you will not be coming home. I want it to be because you died in a blaze of glory saving an innocent. Not taking your own life because you don't feel that you are worthy of life." Gibbs explained.
"I will probably kill her too." Tony sobbed.
"Tony please stop. Just come here and give me one more night with you." Gibbs pleaded.
"Why should I?" Tony asked.
"Because when I fell apart after losing my girls and wanted to die. I was told to take it one day at a time. Please do this for me. More importantly for Sadie. If you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel then I will have to let you go but just know that it will break my heart." Gibbs explained.
"OK but be ready to say goodbye." Tony replied.
"I love you son. Please remember that son." Gibbs pleaded as he embraced Tony.
"Oh thank God they found you." A voice said from behind them.
"He was trying to kill himself Brad." Gibbs replied voice cracking.
"I am glad you found him when you did." Dr. Pitt replied.
"I don't know if I can save him." Gibbs whispered.
"Let me try." Dr. Pitt interjected.
"Of course." Gibbs replied pulling himself up and walking to the back of the room.
"Tony listen to me." Dr. Pitt begged.
"What?" Tony asked.
"I called in a lifetime of favors. To save you when you had the plague. So many that I don't even know if I can enjoy retirement without having to worry that somebody will call me for a favor but I do not regret it. Because I see how much that man loves you. You may think that he got through your plague and coma OK but he wasn't. Both times he fell apart. I saw him on the verge of breaking down. So broken that I am surprised that I didn't have to talk him out of killing himself. If you've heard enough about Gibbs, Sadie, and your NCIS family needing you maybe it will help if you knew how much I care about you." Dr, Pitt explained.
"You do care?" Tony asked.
"Of course I know that we were college rivals but that time you were in the hospital. Fighting for your life with the plague. I became very attached. Hell if I can get you not to kill yourself I will wear Ohio Sate boxers to my reunion with some of my buddies from University of Michigan." Dr. Pitt explained.
"You'd do that?" Tony asked.
"Yes I would." Dr. Pitt replied.
"I guess that you and Gibbs really do care." Tony replied.
"Of course we do son." Gibbs replied.
A/N: Hopefully Tony is heading towards healing. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.