Harry Potter would have never thought he could be apart of some secret world. He's seen all the things that normal people think are 'magic' and its pretty depressing compared to the real stuff. His father's ounce tried to convince him that over the rainbow fierce leprechaun warriors guarded gold, that unicorns do exist and their horns are made out of pure sugar sticks, and that a humongous pregnant bunny comes around town each year to give birth to small eggs in everyone's backyards.
After that failed, they decided to tell the truth, the truth being that 'magic' is the happy feeling you get when something great happens. The bubbly feeling. Like when you get away with not doing homework or scaring a friend and after you both laugh or even singing in a car with your family.
So the moment Harry walked into Dragon Ally with some intoxicated drug addicted half giant, he knew the 'secret world' was definitely not magical. It was a humid summer day but that didn't seem to stop the Ally to be filled with peoples of all sorts. The street was cracked and the air smelt of a burning cigarettes. The only things Harry could see was a rainbow, as multi colored robes mixed with one another.
Harry turned to his companion as a group of giggling school girls passed by,"Is this a joke?"
The walking brown haired carpet gave a grunt of confusion.
Unbelievable, thought Harry.
This all started two days ago. A few months after the snake incident, 'Little Whiners Park' had a customer. Harry and his fathers found him banging his head against the glass of an exhibit. When they finally got him to stop and his concussion subsided, he started mumbling the most strangest things. He said he kept all the keys to a magical castle in Scotland and that the Headmaster of said castle wants Harry to come learn wizard stuff and that Harry had to defeat a Dark Lord that no one knows is still alive. Of course his family immediately pack up all of his things and sent him to go with the lonely stranger. Harry thinks he heard them talking about needing a good vacation from him.
Fantastic.
The only reason Harry really went along was that the key keeper creeper also said that Harry was rich and famous in the wizarding world. So far no one has even glanced his way yet. Harry was getting suspicious. The big man was having trouble just standing up, so he'd ask later.
The first stop was to the 'magical' worlds bank, named GreenGuts. The 'bank' used to be a beautiful white marble building. At least thats what Harry thinks it must have looked like, for all that stands now is rable. Between the ruined pillars and walls was a massive mountain of gold.
With so much gold laying in one place you'd think everyone would be climbing over one another just to get some. They would be too, if it weren't for the goblins. Hundreds of thousands of them. They didn't seem as monstrous as they come across in stories. Because all of them...every...single...one...was...twerking. They were scattered everywhere on the hill of gold moving their hips to the latest pop music.
When Harry and Mr. Pot-Belly approached the chaotic scene the music stopped and all their soulless eyes pointed toward them. One goblin wearing disco pants stepped forward. His voice was scratchy like nails on blackboard, "Greedings greedy travelers. Have you come to trade entertainment for gold?"
Brown beard made a sound between a purr and a bark.
"Excuse me?" Harry said.
The goblin gave us a blank stare, "Well, don't you know we can't just have just anyone walking around with are gold? No twerking, no talent. No talent, no gold."
"Bu me ha a kay?" The man leaned forward, his face pouting, his words slurred and his hand out, in it a very small key
"I repeat," The goblin said coldly. "No twerking, no talent. No talent, no gold." It bard it's teeth and snarled at them. His brothers followed. They were all looking at them like hungry maniacs.
The dirty trenchcoat quietly picked up Harry and raced back up the Alley. Once they got far enough away, the son of a giant bitch took Harry from his shoulders and put him on the ground. "Sor-fy Horry," he sniffled.
"It's ok," Harry lied. Nothing was going Harry's way. Nothing ever did.
"Na ise note!" The man fell on his ass and broke down crying. "Na ya want be apple tab-at any-a-thang. Mama were rote; me am tis roset wizard-ty every."
Harry patted him on the back, "There. There, monsterman."
The monster man looked up, "Me Hagord."
"Ok Hagord. I'll try to call you that instead."
Hagord made a pouty face as music playing distantly in the background. The crowded street seems even more packed and started to separate down the middle, letting a group of people all wearing glasses pass through. There was so many people talking that the noise was unbearable.
Harry shouted over the voices to Hagord, "What's going on?"
Hagord shrugged, looking just confused as Harry. They followed the group back down to the twerking goblins. As the group approached, the goblins said the same thing they had said before to Hagord and Harry. One person from the group stepped forward and showed a slip of paper to the goblins. They trembled and hissed, but reluctantly brought up a large bag for each member of the group.
"What the frick-frack?" Harry whispered and started walking forward.
Something dawned on Hargord's face and he tried to pull Harry back. Harry wouldn't have that. He weaved through the crowd and appeared right behind the group.
"Who the Helen are you and how did you do that?" demanded Harry.
Everyone turned to Harry then to the group. One person from the group stepped forward and took off his sunglasses. Harry almost took a step back. The boy before him was about the same age as himself. He had blue eyes, a deep bloody red scar on his forehead, and like most people was taller than Harry.
"The name's Daniel Radcliffe, the leader of the Movie-niers, and we just did that because we're better than you," Daniel said with a blank expression on his face. "Have gold peasant," He tossed some of his gold.
It hit Harry's dumbfounded face and he fell backwards.